Chad Silverstein argues that people waste energy trying to change others instead of fixing their own integrity gaps through self-reflection. If you claim you don't have time for personal work, you're lying about your priorities. Wholeness in relationships requires dedicated work on yourself first.
Chapters
Unfortunately, most people today are trying to change everyone else around them instead of focusing where they should, which is looking in the mirror and trying to, you know, close your own integrity gaps. If you want oneness, if you want wholeness in your life, then you need to work on yourself. And to say that you don't have time to do that is ridiculous. It's ridiculous. I don't care how busy you are. I don't care how much responsibility you have. You make time for whatever is the most important thing in the world, period. You have your priorities, period. And so if you can't tell me that having oneness with the people you love, wholeness with the places where you spend the majority of your day, isn't one of the biggest priorities in your life, well then you've got your priorities mixed up. Because again, the cost of that is, is, uh, a life not worth living. And the aim is to live a life worth living.