Tom Ryan is Built to Lead

Tom and I have a funny story. I went to a YPO event and Tom was on a panel with a few other coaches talking. And I walked up to Tom. I didn't know who he was really. I never met him. And I introduced myself and I remember in the conversation I made a comment, I said, my team practices like a sports team and you probably love it and you should check it out. It's a leadership program called Built to Lead. And I cannot. That was it. And I cannot tell you the day that you just walked into my office and just walked into one of our leadership practices. I'll, you know, never forget. I still have a picture. I showed Chet the picture recently. I remember one just feeling like it was a big honor to have you in the room. I didn't know you at the time and I thought that was so cool to do House. That wrestling coach walked into our team practice. But what I think seared me the most was the look on your face as you were watching my team do what we do and watching our coach facilitate having this leadership team do what we were doing in this weird thing that we called practice. And I always explain to people that, you know, you know, you don't become a championship team unless you practice. I mean, so why would you go to work and expect you to be a great team if you don't practice? So we gave you a taste of that. And I'd want to start by maybe just hear your take on what your memory serves as far as walking in.

And like, I mean, it was, it was, it was really a blessing that we were on that event together. And then we spoke after, for a minute. And I think if you remember, even before I went to you, there's, there's, there's some believe. I know my belief system, I'm pretty strong in my belief system. And, and being around people that understand suffering is one that I just want people around me that, that whether it was, it was self induced suffering or, or outside induced suffering, just people have been through hard things. I'm attracted to. And I asked you also before I went to your practice, I went to a workout in the morning at Chet's place, right. So. So even before, before I buy a piece of equipment for the team, I'll. I'll test it out. I want to know, you know, how this thing, how this, you know, how this thing works. Is it going to make me hurt enough? Is it do I like it or not? So I went to the workout and I was, I was, I was amazed. I was impressed by the whole group there. Most of them were middle aged over middle aged men. And they were all tough. They were just tough. Like you know the, it was painful but people pushed to their pain and I love that. And I'm like, look, I'm going to come to, I definitely want to come to one of your, your practices, you know, at choice. And I was, yeah, I was blown away by it. I was blown away by the, you know, I'll keep using the word authenticity but, but it's like people were so authentic with each other. They were so honest with each other. You know, their words were, their words were to like, you know, the old truth and love just sharing with each other. And I'm like, man, if a wrestling team could learn to communicate like your team was, we're going to be, we're going to be really good. It's a culture that I want to build or just having tough conversations and, and yeah, I was, I was blown away by it.

What year was that that you started?

Gosh, that was 20, 15, 14 maybe.

So yeah, it was the year before you won the national. Year before and you ended up hiring Chat as your coach. And so at the same time I'm being coached weekly, he's coming in kicking my ass and then he's coming over your office and kicking your. So how would you describe you before built to lead and after in regards to like what changes did you kind of internally go through and like how much has it helped you in a way that's been like noticeable to yourself?

Well, that's, well, I mean there, I mean just in critical ways. One, I think it's made me a better in every way, a better father, a better husband, a better coach. I think, you know, when I explain buildspeed, I think one of one of the things. Well, first of all, self assessment as a wrestler you self assess, right. One of the beauties of the sport is that young people have an opportunity to have their life shaken up daily. Most people lives aren't shaken up that much. But in the sport of wrestling as a young person you can have it rocked daily and you have to self assess and manage that. And it's rocked daily in a safe way. It's a sport. Losing isn't the worst thing in the world. Right. But it's the beauty of it is that it is constantly under self review. So I think Bill to lead really made me look inside more. That's one thing. Definitely constant selfishness, but also no question, Bill to lead the way. Chet just runs his system. I think it makes things very palatable, like very digestible. Things are. Things are taught in a way that. That they're just. To me, they're very easy to digest and learn. So. Yeah, it's turned my world upside down in a really good way. It's helped my team. We. We're still using build to lead. My leadership team met yesterday. We're going through the book. Right. You know, Chet's book.

I met with your leadership team in the last practice when I was there with Chat. You were sick and just studs kind of growing. Check. Pushed them to send each other their notes.

Yeah.

And then they were questioning each other. And it was a very different feel than I've. I've seen when I've seen the big group.

Sure.

And so one of my questions I have for you is when you see people not take to it.

Yeah.

And there's plenty of them. It's not for everybody. Right, right. And you know, our coach isn't for everybody either. Just like you and I aren't for everybody. Well, you might be, I'm not.

But I don't know how many doses of Tom you can in a week.

How would you explain it, though? Like, what is it that people.

Yeah.

Look at therapy, look at coaching, look at self help, look at getting better, self assessed. What is it that you think? They just are repelled? Why? Why? I mean, what. What's your take on.

Good question. I think that. I think that often. Often is they think they can do it, but they think they've got it. And that's a dangerous place to be. Like, I. I think it's a dangerous place to be. I'll use a wrestling analogy. It's like anyone that's come to my program, to the Ohio State wrestling program, and they believe they've arrived, you're in trouble. Like, that's the beginning of the end, you know, I'm saying, like, you won four state titles and I made it to Ohio State. And my whole dream's been a wrestler at Ohio State. And like, listen, this is, this is. You know, you've never, You've never arrived. Like, you have moments in time where, hey, we can celebrate this in your life, but there's always a chance for improvement.