"How to be happier"

Hi, it's Charlie Hugh-Jones, creator and founder of Living On Purpose, unlocking the power of inspiration, imagination, and innovation to live a richer, more fulfilled, and more abundant life. Welcome to this video. I help people who recognize that they want something to change in their life make powerful decisions and follow through on them so that they experience more clarity and focus, more energy, and greater contentment, and often financial freedom. In this video, you're going to learn how to experience more happiness in your life by taking 3 simple steps so that you can live every day with more contentment and joy, no matter what you are facing. Till well into my early 30s, I never really questioned whether I was happy. I just was most of the time. I was married, had 2 children, and had become a partner in one of the nation's most prestigious law firms. And then a personal tragedy destroyed all that, and I found myself depressed, aimless, and wondering if I was ever going to be happy again. At first, I figured that And if I could rebuild my life and get everything back, then I'd be happy again. But what I found out surprised me. Even when the outward signs of success had returned— money, house, marriage— I was still deeply unhappy. You see, I'd built my life on my competence, what I could do, but not necessarily what I should do, the things that mattered most to me. So I made a decision. I was going to explore what would make me truly happy, what would give my life purpose, and then I was going to equip myself to live that every day. I've spent many years and a lot of money exploring how to do just that. One of the greatest mistakes people make is to believe that it's their circumstances that determine how happy they are. It's simply not true. Research has found that up to 40% of our happiness is shaped by intentional behaviours, the things we do every day, moment by moment. These behaviours have the potential to diminish or increase our happiness. So a large part of how much happiness we experience every day is within our own control. Now, another mistake people regularly make in searching for more happiness is to focus simply on stopping a behaviour that they know is making them unhappy. For example, we say to ourselves, if I can just stop comparing myself to others, then I'll be happier. Psychologists have shown us that it's much harder to stop doing something than it is to do more of something we already do. So the 3 steps I'm going to share with you now to increase your happiness every day are all about doing more of something you may already do. So step 1, make someone's day. One of the surest ways to increase your personal happiness is to look out for someone else's happiness. Science has shown that doing something for someone else has an incredibly powerful impact on our own experience of happiness. So you could order a gift for a friend's birthday, pick out a toy or a coat for a child in need and donate it to your local shelter. Or even just buy a drink for the person in line behind you at the coffee shop. But you don't have to spend money to make someone's day and get to feel happier yourself. How about checking in with someone who's going through a hard time, or simply offering a compliment and a smile to a cashier at the checkout that looks like they're having a bad day? Give someone a hug who isn't expecting it from you, but make sure you ask that permission— that person's permission first. Step 2. Go for a walk. Yeah, it's that simple. Turn off the TV, put down that magazine, turn your phone off, and go for a walk. Just 10 minutes is enough to begin to change your mood and experience more happiness. So head out to the local park and back, round the block, or just down the street. If you can stand it, don't even take your phone with you. When you get back through your door, just stop and breathe for 30 seconds and notice what you're feeling. I bet you'll be surprised at how much better you felt than before you went out the door. Exercise doesn't have to be a session in the gym or a long run. Whenever we elevate our heart rate from just sitting, our bodies release endorphins that create positive feelings in our brains, a reward from our body for doing something good for it, and they're available anytime. Step 3, write a list of 3 things that were good today. Before you go to sleep tonight, open your notes app on your phone, or better still, go find a pen and paper. and write a list of 3 things that were good today. They don't have to be super significant or the most incredible thing ever, just that you thought they were good. I finished my assignment on time. My husband picked out my favourite ice cream for dessert on the way home from work today. My sister just gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Now next to each of these 3 things, answer the question, why did this happen? For example, if you listed finishing your assignment, You might— excuse me— might write down that it was because I remembered the deadline for once, or because I wanted it out of the way before the party I really wanted to go to. If you wrote down that your husband picked up ice cream, you might write, because my husband is really thoughtful sometimes, or because I remembered to call him from work and remind him to stop by the store. Or if you wrote, my sister just gave birth to a healthy baby boy, you might say it was because God was looking out for her, Or she did everything right during her pregnancy. Research shows that just 1 week of doing this results in us being less depressed, happier, and possibly even addicted to doing this more. But I know that sometimes you're so anxious or stressed out that you couldn't even do the things I've listed above, and so I'm going to be exploring ways to reduce stress and manage anxiety in another free video that I'm going to release soon. But in the meantime, I hope you got value from this video. If so, please like it and make sure that you subscribe to my YouTube channel. Feel free to share this video on your favourite social media platform and join me at charliehughjones.com where you can stay connected and sign up for exclusive email updates and get access to more content from my Living On Purpose programme. Thank you so much for watching. I look forward to continuing this journey together in the next video, but until then, bye for now.