In this Facebook Live video recorded on Father's Day, Charlie Hugh‑Jones shares a personal, heartfelt reflection on the complexities of the holiday, especially when family is physically distant. He introduces two bonded rescue dogs, Buster and Butch, from Big Dog Ranch Rescue, describing his desire to adopt them but acknowledging current constraints. Using the dogs as a metaphor, Charlie explores themes of acceptance, resilience, and living in the present, drawing on Eckhart Tolle’s "Power of Now" teachings. He outlines practical steps for processing disappointment—naming emotions, breathing, and letting go—while emphasizing the danger of dwelling on past pain (the "then") or future longing (the "when"). Charlie also highlights his upcoming reunion with his four children, the role of technology in maintaining connection, and the importance of supporting animal rescue work. The video concludes with calls to action: visit Big Dog Ranch Rescue, explore his coaching services, watch related YouTube videos, and consider a free strategy session for personal resilience coaching.
Chapters
Hey, good afternoon. It's Charlie Hugh-Jones here. Let's just wait a second or two till a few people get online for this Father's Day Facebook Live. How you doing, folks? It's kind of weird going live on Father's Day. For those of you who are celebrating, happy Father's Day. For those of you who aren't, or there's pain, or it just isn't your kind of day, Thinking about you guys too. But today I want to talk to you about a special friend of mine that I made today. I don't know how to do picture-in-picture yet for Facebook Live, so excuse the technical difficulties. I'm gonna actually have to use another phone. As you can see, these 2 fellas here. Watch this. One brother looking after another brother. The big guy is called Buster, and the guy in the trolley is called Butch. Actually, I was hoping he was called Sundance, but anyway, these are 2 dogs that I just want to tell you about Big Dog Ranch Rescue because we were there yesterday, we were there today. Both Abi and I have had dogs in the past, and we would dearly, dearly like to have a dog right now, but we can't. Our condo association rules don't allow us to. Our condo's probably not big enough. But we're soon moving into a townhouse where we can have dogs, so we're beginning to go through the process of adoption. And we went to see this fella. There he is. Butch there, and Buster. And we went to see him today. Now, Today's Father's Day, and as I put at the beginning of the post, Father's Day is a day— there's a lot of complicated things wrapped up in Father's Day. For me, Father's Day is wonderful. I have 4 children. Unfortunately, they're 4,000 miles away. What's really amazing is that they're going to be— the youngest ones are going to be with me in less than 2 weeks' time. It's just 10 days till they come and spend the whole summer, 8 weeks, with me and we get to hug. But as a family, we're not together today and they haven't got their dad with them. My eldest daughter texted me to say that she really wished that she could hug me today. And I wish I could hug her too, because I miss her terribly. So this situation is not perfect. There's a lot of people who don't have dads, don't have fathers, who don't have, um, the experience that they want to celebrate. On Father's Day. It can be painful. And I have to accept, in looking at Buster, who I would dearly love to adopt, that I actually want for him to have an amazing home. I want for him to be adopted. Him and his brother, they're a bonded pair, so you have to have both of them. And they may get a home before we're ready to adopt. I fell in love with him today. I went to spend some time with him, to walk him, to to have some cuddles and do all that, just to show him some love. But I might not be the person who adopts him, however much Abbie and I would love that to be the case. And that had to teach me something today about acceptance. Accepting a situation as it is, not as I want it to be, not— it's not perfect. Just like my kids don't have me today, a day when they want to celebrate me. Now, my kids do something really amazing for their stepdad, a man I admire tremendously, who stepped into their life, who has been a father to them. And they don't celebrate him today as a mark of respect to me, which is really special, their biological dad. They celebrate him on a different day. And I think that's incredibly powerful. And I just want to say thank you to him. He knows who he is. He knows what he has done over the last— 10 years. 10 years or so in becoming a stepdad. And so that's another situation that's very different this day, but it's teaching us something about resilience, about things not being perfect, about things that don't show up or aren't the way we wish them to be or should be. And I just wanted to share that today. I do a lot on productivity. I do a lot on purpose, but a good portion of the work I do with families and with individuals is around resilience. Not only how do you manage to get back up after a tragedy, or after difficult circumstances, or things that have got— not gone your way. How do you learn from that and be stronger? And today, in hanging out with Butch, I had to learn to be able to let go. I want to love him. I want to be able to shower love on him. I want to be able to give him a home. Much like on Father's Day, I'm remembering my kids, and I want me to be there home all the time. But for various reasons, for complicated reasons, that's not the case. And so I have to accept the situation. So how do we go about doing that? How do we look at situations that, that are less than perfect, that are suboptimal? That's one way of putting it. At other times, they're downright painful. And I just want to say, We breathe through it. We stand up. We reflect. We accept that we are experiencing discomfort and suffering and pain at times. Perhaps we take the step of naming those emotions. We express that, yeah, we're feeling disappointed. Yes, we feel frustrated that the world is not how it should be, how we think it should be. How the general narrative would picture the perfect story. That's not our lives. And then we breathe, and we let it go, so that we can move on, so that we can stand up stronger. Because if we keep looking at the past and saying, ow, and keep revisiting the past, the then, we're going to get stuck in a loop that constantly brings up the same pain. That father that abused you. That father that hurt you, that father that left you, that father that was always too busy at work so they never had time for you. I'm talking about fathers today because it's Father's Day, but that applies to any significant relationship. If we're always revisiting that past, the then, it's going to remain painful and we can't move on. But the opposite is true. If we're already always looking to the when, if we're always looking to the situation as It's meant to be, or it's going to be, or it should be, and we're always trying to move in that direction. We will always feel absent something. There's going to be more pain from that, more suffering, because the present is not what we're striving for, and we're always trying to reach to something we don't have. So for example, I don't know whether Butch is going to be in my life in the future. I know that I can go and love him go and love on him every day. I can go visit him. I can go walk him. I can go cuddle him. I can sit down with him and shower love on him. But I can't plan for tomorrow or the day after, because I might not be in a position to adopt him. And when we do that with our lives, and we're always wishing what should have been, or what is going to happen in the future, we don't pay attention to the now. I talked about the pain of the then, what happened in the past that hurt us. I'm talking about the pain also, and the suffering that we get from looking at the when in the future. When it's going to be. If only If only it could be, if only this would change. We don't stop for now. Eckhart Tolle is a phenomenal influence on me, and he wrote a book and has taught for many, many years on the power of now, on being in the present. And that's part of how we stand up and accept those circumstances that aren't quite perfect. This Father's Day that might not be the best kind of day for you. It's not my favorite day. I wish it was. I wish my kids were all here and we're going out for a meal and doing this lot, but that's not my world today. But I've had— I have had fantastic FaceTimes. I have had beautiful messages. I've hung out with the kids this morning on FaceTime, and I'm looking forward— not waiting for the when, but I'm looking forward to a situation that's going to come. But that didn't take my eye off having conversations and Talking about the kids' days today, and figuring out how to connect when there's physical distance, using FaceTime, using Skype, using WhatsApp, and all those tools, and making sure that I write to them and send them little gifts in the meantime. So today, on Father's Day, just a quick reminder to learn to accept. Don't worry about the then. Don't chase after the when. But just accept now. And processing pain, accepting it, having a bit of disappointment, it's okay. But don't dwell in it. Let it pass. Feel it. Acknowledge it. Be honest with yourself that it's real. And then breathe. And start appreciating what is right now. And then you can move on. So that's all I want to say this Father's Day. I was prompted by— I wish I could have done the Facebook Live when I was hanging out with Butch, my new best friend. As I say, I would love to adopt him. So let me just tell you about Big Dog Ranch Rescue, because they are phenomenal. They do incredible work here in Palm Beach County, in particular in West Palm, rescuing dogs from all kinds of terrible situations. And finding foster parents for them, finding new adoptive parents for them. So I'm gonna put a link beneath the Facebook Live so you can go and check out Big Dog Ranch Rescue. And if you're in the market for adopting a dog, or you've got time or space or the energy to foster, please go— excuse me— and check them out. It's quite wonderful to be able to support that kind of work being done, because remember, the dogs And animals are not just something we own and we have. I'm certainly not going to own Butch, and I can give love to him, but he's also feeding into my life. And today he taught me something. I allowed him to remind me of lessons I've learned this Father's Day. So if that applies to you, by all means reach out to me, private message me. If you want to put a comment down below, please do so. But if you're looking at how do you manage a situation that is not quite optimal, and you just want someone to talk to, then head on over to charliehughjones.com. Perhaps we can get a free— you can get one of my free strategy sessions. And if not, just check out some of the videos that I've got on my YouTube channel. How to Be More Resilient is a really good one when thinking about things that are not quite as you want them to be. So I hope you have a great Father's Day, however you choose to celebrate, however you choose perhaps not to celebrate. And I'll come back to you in another Facebook Live in the next week or so. But thank you for tuning in. Those of you, um, who weren't here the first time when this was live, great to see you on the replay. Thank you for watching this video. And just remember, a lot of resilience work is about learning steps and tools to accept by not always dwelling in the then, what happened then, by not always pursuing after, hankering after, yearning for the when. But actually practicing being present, finding your way of grounding yourself in the experience you're having right now, accepting some pain, but even more being open to all the joy of the things that are happening. So that's it from me today. Thank you for watching. I hope you've checked out all my other resources and videos on YouTube, on Facebook Live, on my website charliehughjones.com. And if I don't see you at one of my seminars, if you're not one of my private coaching clients, then maybe you should think about that. But if not, I hope to see you at some point. Until then, bye for now.
