Are YOU Self-Made?

I was thinking about this the other day, about being self made, right. And self made kind of has this connotation like you're a self made successful person. So they'll say the term like he's a self made millionaire. Right. And I was thinking like you're homeless in downtown la, you're self made.

Everybody walking around is self made, right? Right.

What you make of yourself.

Yeah. Like who else are you gonna blame?

Right?

Like at some point you got to stop blaming everybody else and you got to realize you are self made, whether you're successful or you're an utter disappointment to your parents. Yourself made, right?

Yeah. No, 100%.

I like, I, because I've always like taken self made as a positive thing. And then really it goes both ways. Everybody's self made.

I don't think I've ever thought about it till you just brought that up right now. And I can see it 100%.

Yeah. It's a different angle, right? So you're self made. So I, I put together a little list of what.

I believe is important to be successful as a self made person and kind of turn around the outcome if you feel like you aren't successful. So the first one is owning it. You have to own the result. You have to, you have to own the result. If you can't own where you're at and it's everybody else's fault, then this is going to be a waste of your time. You should probably tune in to something else right now because you control your destiny. You control how hard you work, what time you get up, what you eat, how much you work out, what you think, who you surround yourself with, what TV you watch, what book you read. It's all you. You control that. And so you can lean towards things that make you successful or lean away from those things, but either way, it's your choice. You make those choices every day. Most of us aren't victims. We control that.

Yeah.

The second one is, and this one's a hard one for a lot of people is you have to love yourself. Like I think a lot of people at the end of the day don't really love themselves. And I see this a lot when people fail. So people that have fear of failure and will fail once and then never try anything again, the reason why is because they don't love themselves. Because if you think about it like if your best friend made a mistake and you would forgive them, but you won't forgive yourself.

Then you don't love yourself as much as you love other people. Yeah, right. And so, like, why wouldn't you forgive yourself for a mistake? Why don't you look at it as a game? Why don't you accept that you're not perfect? Why don't you accept that you're going to make mistakes and you're going to do your best and you're going to acknowledge when you could have done better and you're going to acknowledge when you got lucky or things went right. But neither one, bad or good, are an indictment. Unless you don't love yourself. If you don't love yourself, then you get all tangled up and you don't forgive yourself and you react negatively. And also, most of the time, you overreact to accomplishments like, oh, I'm the best. And you get this ego. That's fake. Honestly, it's fake. It's insecure, and it's fake to overcome. Celebrate something also, like, there's nothing worse than a bad winner.

Yeah, right, right. Sorry.

That's a sign of somebody not really having a balance and trying to over celebrate something that really maybe they got lucky in the end. So really do an inventory about will I forgive myself? Do I treat myself like somebody I care about? Am I. Am I.

Eating and acting and sleeping, doing the things that I would do to somebody that I loved, or am I treating myself like somebody that isn't my friend, that I wouldn't really like? And you know the answer to that, to that question. But the thing that I found about that is once you think about it that way, it's really easy to start to understand how you can love yourself. It's really easy to start to understand how you can treat yourself a little bit different. And then right after that is self talk. Like, if you love yourself, then how do you talk to yourself? Do you talk to yourself.

In the way that you are highlighting and.

Giving.

Energy to your talents, or are you giving energy to your faults? Are you? You know, I said this to somebody the other day, Mario, and I don't know if you were there, but this guy running a dealer group was complaining about his service manager, and he was kind of asking us to do some kind of kooky stuff, complaining about the service manager. And I said, listen, the thing is, is that in the end, what this conversation feels like to me is you have Tom Brady and you want Michael Vick, but you handed us Tom Brady. Now, if I have Tom Brady as my quarterback, I'm going to let him throw the ball. I'm not going to ask him to run. Right.

100%.

I'm not going to call two run plays out of four plays. I'm just not. He's going to drop back and he's going to pass or he's going to hand it off because that's Tom Brady. Now if I have Michael Vick, I'm going to spread it out. I can do all kinds of different things with Russell Wilson. A quarterback like that. You have to understand who you are. You have to understand what your gifts and your strengths are. And then once you understand that, you need to build your self talk to that. You need to be really excited about the things that you're good at. You need to enjoy them. You to need, you need to put your energy and time into those things that you're good at that you enjoy and not spend time and energy on the things that you're not. Don't beat yourself up over those things. It drives me crazy when I hear people say like Russo did this the other day, he goes, I'm not good at math. It's like, you're not good at math. What does that mean? Like you gotta, how can you not be good at math?

Got a calculator.

You don't have to do it. Don't say those kind of things to yourself. Like talk to yourself. Like you're good at anything you want to be good at. You just haven't decided to be good at it. You haven't decided that that's a priority. And you're going to spend the rest of your life learning math. So let it go. It isn't a big deal, but you're not good or not bad. It's just not a priority. It's not something you enjoy, but it's not necessarily a weakness. And how you look at those things and how you self talk about those things end up affecting where you go and what you achieve. So self talk is a big deal. The next one is your friends.

The people you hang out with, the people you attract. Like the further up the ladder that you go of success. And there is a ladder and there is a class system. Whether you like it or not, it exists. So you know, accept it that people that are rich are different, they talk different, they act different, they think different about people than billionaires do. And then, you know, you just keep keep going up. But there's, there's classes as you go up.

Are the friends that you're surrounding yourself with making you better or making you worse? Because if it's drama.

I mean, I don't know anybody who didn't have to get rid of their friends going up the ladder. Because your friends in the end that you showed up with once you start to make more money than them and once you're more successful than them, it's odd, but they're not happy for you, they're jealous. And so you have to understand that you can't be around that energy. You have to find new friends and it's okay, it doesn't make them bad. But when they're talking to you like that, they're looking in the mirror, they're not talking to you. Does that make sense? Like a lot of times when people are talking to you, they're looking in the mirror, right? They're not talking to you. They're talking through their insecurities, through their feelings, through their fears, through their self loathing, not loving themselves. And so they're saying things, but they don't really mean them. You don't have time for that. You need to get around people that aren't talking like that, People that talk about what can happen, people that have done great things, that are achieving things, that see the world as an opportunity, not as a curse, that are having fun, that are taking advantage of the opportunities. And also people that have gone or are going through hard times, that make it through because you're going to face hard times. It's not easy. Nothing is ever easy. This isn't the thing like about reading the Secret or some of those books. It's like, it's nice to think positive, that's good. But the truth of the matter is they're not addressing all, all the bad things that are going to happen to you. They're not addressing that you're going to go out and start something and it's going to go terribly wrong. Like, you know, you, you can't feel entitled to things. And that's the next one is you can't feel entitled. You're not entitled to anything. If you can't get excited about the economy we're in, in this country and all the opportunity that we have. You're watching too much tv. You need to get away from the negative news and understand that the economy's going, money's moving around, opportunity is everywhere, right? And so you really need to think about that, that the opportunity is everywhere. And then the last one that I have on here is commitment. If you want to be self made, you have to commit to something.

In a way that even you can't be convinced you won't do it. Like you have to commit with every ounce of your being to making Something happen. Because I don't know how many people I see that have a lot of these things. And then when it comes to the actual commitment, that's where they give up really quick. So they have the recipe for everything else, but as soon as it gets hard, they give up. And they talk like that, too. They're like, well, I did my best, right? Well, there isn't really. Nobody was really asking you to do your best. They were asking you to win. They were asking you to accomplish something. So when you say you did your best, I'm pretty sure that that's a lie. I've never heard somebody say, I did my best. And there wasn't one more thing they could have done. They could have got up a little earlier, done a little more research, asked one more person for help or their idea gone. And watch somebody else who's doing it at a high level. Like, you could have done something right. Right. And so you didn't really do your best. You just didn't get it done. And that's. That's the thing about commitment is. And it, you know, I don't know. We. We see it all the time, guys. Like, I did my best. You're like, what?

They would have been better off stop watching the news and watch a bunch of Nike commercials and they're like, one more, one more, one more. And it changes your mindset, right? I think you've heard me say before, Chris, is the way we think is the way we feel, and the way we feel is the way we act or react. So be cautious of what you're allowing in your brain, whether it's fake news, negative news, and all that, because that's what we start thinking now. And then we feel that way, and then, guess what? We're in this world acting or reacting that way. And so when you start thinking positive, when you start thinking anything's possible, now you're feeling invincible. And guess what you're doing now? Now you're acting in such a way, right? And so I always tell people in training sessions, who controls what you think? And they all say, well, I do. Well, when you're in a bad mood, change the way you're thinking. It all goes away. Right? So it's. The mind is very powerful. But it's like you said, if we're so busy not accepting it and not owning it, then we're going to be in that, you know, under the veil, right?

Yeah.