Books That Changed My Life: Fausto Castellanos & The Power of Giving

The book we're here to talk about today is the Power of Giving. How giving back enriches us All. Heavy drug addiction. Right. You're having seizures.

Yeah.

You attempted suicide. And all this kind of happened within a 30 day period.

Yeah.

Just tell me, how do we get there? How did that happen?

Books, they've saved us from the dark, set our souls on fire, and whispered truths we couldn't ignore. I'm Chris Collins, and this is Books that Changed My Life. And please welcome this week's guest, Fausto Castellanos.

I couldn't put a voice to my insecurity or my anxiety or what I was feeling. And that feeling of isolation and loneliness is the worst thing. I would wish somebody would just ask me how I was doing it.

So the big question, how did this change your life?

So what do you think of the library?

Yeah, I want to spend the night here.

Oh, you're more than welcome. I love that in the front room. You're. You're.

Yeah.

Going through. It's hard to get people to interact. People get intimidated and they don't want to look.

Yeah, like. Because, like, for me, like, books was my first father, I would say. I read my first book when I was 25. And so. So to me, like, anything in the book was like, wisdom, every sentence. And so, like, books saved my life. And that's why I'm always fascinated with them, because once you read it, you're never the same. Even if it's one sentence, there's something new that you know, and then you see the world differently.

What was that book at 25?

So the first book I ever read was. So you think you can't. You can. And it was just, I think a book that popped up on Instagram, honestly, like an ad, and I just said, interesting, let me try that book.

And you ordered it.

And I just ordered it. And it was fascinating because this is when I was getting sober. And so the first chapter was he was talking about he had an addiction. So I was like, whoa, I didn't know this guy had an addiction. And then it was like he was sexually traumatized as a kid too. And I was like, whoa, that's. That was me too. So I was like, what's happening? Do people talk about this stuff in books? I had no idea people would say that. And so it just hooked me. And then it said, like, you should travel alone. My first flight. I've never been on a plane Till I was 25. And I went to Oregon for a week and a half by myself with no plan, just because he said to try it. And it was the coolest experience of my life.

What did you learn on that experience?

I had an idea that I learned that, like, I can figure things out by myself. That if I just ask someone for help, they're very compassionate to want to help you. You just honest, like, hey, I don't know where the. How to get on a plane. I don't know where I'm going. I don't know where to eat. What should I do here? So just the kindness of people. And it gave me the ability to really think. Like, what do I like? It was kind of like experimenting, because I've always been codependent my whole life playing these characters to fit in. And so it really helped me understand, like, you do like the gym. You do like arts. You do like reading, you do like nature. You know, you do like talking to people, but also you like to just chill, you know? So it kind of just gave me an idea of, like, who I was to kind of bring back with me.

That's great.

Yeah.

The book we're here to talk about today is the Power of Giving. How Giving Back Enriches Us All.

Yes.

When you give without expecting a return, you reap even more benefits.

Yes. And it's something I've learned that when I give to people in love, I get this high. And so as an. As an ex addict, I'm seeking a high to escape my reality. But it hurts me at the end. And when I noticed that when I give, I get that same high, but there's no downfall of it. It was like this. A new addiction that I developed, and it was like, whoa. I think I understand what they mean. When I give, I feel happy, I feel fulfilled, I feel seen. And so that right there has been big thing for me for forgiving that enriches my life.

Do you think you understand the architecture of why that happens? Like, why is it that you get that same. Is it a dopamine hit or what is dopamine hit?

You know, I think the way I break it down. Right. Is the opposite of addiction is connection. Connection is oxytocin. So for me, this idea of giving is a spiritual act and spirit. And we call addiction a spiritual disease. So I think just the act of giving is the same dopamine and oxytocin release that drugs and alcohol gave me. And that's what I think was happening in that moment.

What is it in the brain that's making that happen?

I have no idea. Exactly.

Is it the connection?

I Think so, I think.

Or is it the selflessness?

I think it's just feeling important, feeling valued. Feel like something about me is.

Like I'm good enough. I have no idea. I think feeling empty my whole life and not good enough and disconnected from the world. This idea of giving, for some reason, just makes me feel seen and like I matter. And I've never felt that my whole life.

Even though the act of giving isn't about you.

Right, Right. It can be, if in a selfish way. Right?

Yeah, I guess I'm talking about it in the unselfish way.

Yeah.

But what is the selfish way?

I would say the selfish way is when you're giving and you expect something.

So it's a ransom note.

Yeah. And sometimes we do it unconsciously, you know, because, like, for me, as a kid, I developed giving not in a bad way, but I don't think I gave wisely. I just learned that when I give people like me. But see, at that point, it was more of like, I needed to give to feel important versus I want to give. And that was the balance that I had to figure out in my journey. Instead of giving out of fear, to give out of love.

Yeah. We may only be one person in the world, but we may be the world to one person.

Yeah. For that is everything to me. Because feeling alone my whole life, feeling like I couldn't talk about what I went through as a kid, you know, from being molested and addicted to.