Books That Changed My Life: Josh Hawkins & I AM LEADER
Chris Collins and Josh Hoglund discuss how the book I AM LEADER shaped their approach to leadership and self-awareness. They talk about overcoming imposter syndrome, the psychology behind entrepreneurial thinking, and what it takes to lead when you don't feel ready.
I was really close to my dad's mom, and she passed away when I was seven years old. When she passed away, I went from straight A's to. I failed every year until I got to high school, where I finally failed out. And it really changed how close I would get to people, but it really ramped up my need for acceptance and approval. Like, it goes back to this a lot. I have imposter syndrome.
Isn't it funny that you don't see yourself as being super successful, but anybody else looking in would? Do you ever think about, like, that part of it? In a sense? By all measurements, you're a huge success. Welcome to the Syndicate X Library, where we love books and we love talking about books that have changed people's lives. Today we have a guest, Josh Hopkins, and he is a husband, a father. He's an entrepreneur, owns his own repair shop. He's joining us today to talk about the book that changed his life. I Am Leader by me, Chris Collins.
What's going on, man?
You ordered swamp. What is it called? Swamp water?
Ranch water. Ranch water, yeah.
Do you trust us to make a good ranch water?
So the real story about the ranch water is they didn't know what ranch water was, and they thought they were going to get a ranch dressing packet and water and bring that to me.
How gross would that be? I think we spent like a summer drinking ranch water.
That would have been a surprise.
With tequila, though. Is it usually tequila or is it vodka?
I always do it with tequila. I've been to some places that use vodka. Like, everywhere you go, it's different. I don't think there's, like, a spec on what ranch water is. What.
What is the biggest thing you've strapped a vehicle to, like, engine wise?
Well, we just got a jet engine, so I think that's. That's going to be the. The biggest power output. It's like £12,000 of thrust. I don't know what the equivalent on.
Horsepower is, but how much gas does a jet engine burn?
I don't know yet.
Did you put it on a dune buggy or what did you put it on?
We haven't put it on anything. It wasn't supposed to go on a vehicle. It was supposed to go. I read a book by Adrian Newey called How to Build a Car, and he's or was the chief aero designer for the Red Bull F1 team, and they're just dominating. So when I found out about him in his book, I read it, and then I realized the importance of aerodynamics and that there's probably a lot on the table for the racing that I do. And so I started looking into being able to go rent a wind tunnel to do some research on our cars. And I found out there's only two in Texas. One. One was at Lockheed Martin and one was at Texas A and M. It was impossible to get in and so we'd have to go to like North Carolina. And it was high budget teams like NASCAR even I think they're pretty frugal about how much time they spend it because of how expensive it is to do.
How much is it an hour to be in a wind tunnel from.
I got numbers that were all over the place. But kind of what I was understanding is it you're somewhere around 60,000 a day. So a lot of money and you could. And then like my whole perspective of life changed. We don't know what gravity is. We don't know what light actually is. And I'm like, what? Like. So years of just being on Wikipedia and scouring the Internet, how I got into quantum chromodynamics and string theory and multiverse and. And it just led to chemistry and led to engineering and just fell in love with it that way. But I never had a formal education.
Can you explain the dual split to me?
Nobody can explain the dual slit. But it is something that I've lost countless hours of sleep just trying to figure out myself. It's crazy. Yeah. It's a really simple experiment and the greatest minds still haven't locked it down yet.
Because there is another dimension that we don't understand. And for anybody who doesn't understand the dual split, basically the long and the short of it is protons behave differently when they're observed versus not observed. So when they're observed, they're projectiles. When they're not, they're like waveform. They function more like water.
Yep. And they can even fire individual electrons, is the experiment that I know about. But they can fire them individually unmonitored. And after several of them have been fired one at a time, it still produces a wave function at the back. So the. The thought that, you know, two are interacting and causing a wave function didn't hold up. So then their explanation of that was. Is they go through both. Both holes or. Yeah, no holes all at the same time. And it got really.
Stuff we don't understand. There's a higher level of consciousness that we don't.
Which is really exciting.
Yeah.
Like if we really knew everything, it just wouldn't have the. The draw. So. Yeah. I made up with it.
So, baby, he just explained that ranch water is actually ranch dressing with water. That's what he wanted.
This is the recipe. I know.
Can you imagine?
That would have been a surprise.
We'll try it and see what you think.
All right. It's good. Did you put a little juice in it? Well done. Well done.
So you're kind of working your way up. You're a tech. At what point do you decide to go out on your own and kind of do the entrepreneurial thing?
It's not as sexy of a story as you'd imagine. So at.
And there was somebody explaining extraction, and you knew all kinds of stuff about extraction. Out of nowhere, just like, random nerd. You were talking his language. I had no idea what you two were talking about. Yeah, but you're a science nerd. Were you that way as a kid?
No, no.
Later.
So I really struggled in school. And once I got out of school, parents and friends. Parents, they're like, just, you know, trade school's fine. I'm like, I've been working at my dad's mechanic shop since 12, and at 18, he's like, hey, go get a real job. Have a real boss, you know, See what the world's like. So I went to a Honda dealership, started changing oil, and then I got a job offer to work for TxDOT. And it's just a good steady, you know, retire at 45, safe jobs. And the technician there, who ended up being one of the biggest influences in my life, mentor wise, said, don't do that. Here's my paycheck stub. Show this to your parents and let them know, like, this is where you can be, you know, in a couple of years. So I went home, and they're like, it's up to you. So I stayed while I was there. I'm always testing them and always trying to know something he doesn't or be able to do a job faster than he can do it. And I watched a show one time by Morgan Freeman. It was called through the Wormhole. And I saw a guy named Brian Cox on there, and he's talking about E equals MC squared. And he wrote a book about it. So I got the book, and then, like, my whole perspective of life changed. We don't know what gravity is. We don't know what light actually is. And I'm like, what? Like. So years of just being on Wikipedia and scouring the Internet, how I got into quantum chromodynamics and string theory and multiverse and. And it just led to chemistry and led to engineering and just fell in love with it that way. But I never had a formal education.
Can you explain the dual split to me?
Nobody can explain the dual slit, but it is something that I've lost countless hours of sleep just trying to figure out myself. It's crazy. Yeah. It's a really simple experiment and the greatest minds still haven't locked it down.
Yet because there is another dimension that we don't understand. And for anybody who doesn't understand the dual split, basically the long and the short of it is protons behave differently when they're observed versus non observed.
Correct.
So when they're observed, they're projectiles. When they're not, they're like waveform. They function more like water.
Yep. And they can even fire individual electrons is the experiment that I know about. But they can fire them individually, unmonitored. And after several of them have been fired one at a time, it still produces a wave function at the back. So the, the thought that, you know, two are interacting and causing a wave function didn't hold up. So then their explanation of that was is they go through both. Both holes or. Yeah, no holes, all at the same time. And it got really.
Stuff we don't understand. There's a higher level of consciousness that we don't.
Which is really exciting.
Yeah.
Like if we really knew everything, it just wouldn't have the. The draw. So, yeah, I made up with it.
So, baby, he just explained that ranch water is actually ranch dressing with water. That's what he wanted.
This is the recipe. I know.
Can you imagine?
That would have been a surprise.
We'll try it and see what you think.
All right. It's good. Did you put a little juice in it? Well done. Well done.
So you're kind of working your way up eurotech. At what point do you decide to go out on your own and kind of do the entrepreneurial thing?
It's not as sexy of a story as you'd imagine. So at 24, I'm close to the technicians there. They've all been married, divorced, remarried, kids. So like, my view on marriage is like, I don't want any of that, but I love kids, but not going down that road. And so 23, 24 years old. I'm making great money for a 24 year old and broke by Thursday, like every week. And they're like, man, you need to get a house. Like, you need to quit blowing your money and start putting it towards something. So I listened, bought a house. A month later, our owner died. And it got.
Owner of the dealership you worked at.
Correct. And it got really weird because how the estate was left and who was supposed to get it. And he left, like, the majority of it to the Salvation Army. Yeah. So it was really weird.
Bless his soul.
Yep. So they.
Did he have kids and a wife?
Two. Two boys, but didn't. So I believe the wife had passed, and so she left a quarter of it to each of the boys. And I say boys like they were in their 50s.
Did they work in the dealership?
One worked for an airline and the other one worked for the dealership. And so there's a lot of unrest. And at that time, I was a very external locus of control mindset. And so they hired a few more technicians, and my hours went from 80 a week to 30, 35 a week. And I just got a house payment. And I'm the same guy that was broke every Thursday with, you know, living with his parents. I called around to some dealerships to see if they had any openings. Called a friend of mine who races cars, too, and he's like, why wouldn't you start your own shop? I'm like, I never thought about it. He said, your dad's got a great model. Like, his business is doing great. I'm sure he could coach you when you need it. So I was like, all right, sounds good. So I went home and kind of ran some numbers, which I wish I had the notes because I'm sure it was just horrible.
Of course, doesn't matter.
But now I'm like, oh, my gosh, all this money I could make. So I go in, put my two weeks notice, and the day before I left, the general manager calls me into his office, and I'm expecting maybe get an offer or whatever. So I sit down and he says, so you're opening up your own shop? I said, yes, sir. He said, you're going to specialize in Hondas? Yes, sir. He said, you want a partner? I was like, what? He's like, man, I'm ready. I've always wanted to do something like that. You want a partner? And so that's how it started.
What did your dad say?
Don't do it, but I support you. Dad's very modest. He doesn't really believe in the model of, like, growing a business. Like, just have it rock solid. It can weather the storm. You know, when 2008 happened, it was tough on a lot of people, and he did fine. He didn't have a lot of overhead. And so I started, actually worked out of his One bay of his shop and then our race car shop. We moved all the race cars to the back and used those other two bays. And then we built a building two years later with five bays in it. I was like, this is more shop than I'll ever need. And then we had to expand two more bays, and it didn't change anything as far as room. And so then I went to 20 bays, 17,000 square feet in a town of 8,000 people, and thought that it would just automatically, you know, scale to what I had with some room to grow. And that's. That's probably the toughest lesson that I had to learn was once you scale to that size, you can't be a mechanic who just goes in, does the books at night. You actually have to run the business. Got, you know.
Yeah, it's like a personal trainer that owns a gym. Like, at some point you got to run the gym. You can't be the personal trainer. Right. Same thing with being a technician.
Yep. And I still have tendencies of going out in the shop and wanting to work.
It's easier to fix it than to deal with it, Right?
Yep. So.
And you like it? You like fixing stuff?
Yeah. Sitting in front of a computer, doing emails. Nightmare. And books and learning finance. Now I've accepted.
You still have the partner?
No. So he left three years in.
You bought him out or how did it go?
I didn't have to buy them out originally he was going to finance it, but then some stuff happened with them, and so I ended up financing it through my grandpa. We went to the bank, got the terms, and then grandpa said, I'll match those terms. So I had $20,000 left on it till it was paid for and he passed away. And my grandpa was there through the whole process of the shop being built. And he'd sit in his lawn chair, and he's a big guy, six, four, six five, and really dry. Sense of humor, but sarcastic and funny. And he asked me if he could buy my shop from me so that he could fire him and then he'll sell me the shop back. And it was just a joke. He was a good guy, but just made jokes like that that not everybody understands. I guess I see where I get a lot of that from. Humor's kind of my go to. Yeah. So I didn't have to buy him out. He left. He went to another dealership. They offered him just a great deal, and I'm like, hey, I get it. Because we're struggling. Like, it was hard to make money. Struggled and learned A lot. And I wouldn't trade it now for everything that I learned. But it was a hard way to do it. Not understanding business, that was. That's still my biggest struggle. It's just, you know, getting a hold of now, I realized you're better off being a psychologist than you are a technician owning a shop and just understanding how to lead, how to inspire people, how to communicate with customers, how to deal with problems that are always going to come up. Having that internal locus of control, mentality and mindset, and having intention and where you're going instead just kind of the work flows in and you do it and it goes out. You'll just make money, but instead, like, having intention of where we want to go and who we want to be and how we want to get there.
Isn't it funny that you don't see yourself as being super successful, but anybody else looking in would?
100%.
Like, do you know most people would kill to have your freedom and, like, just think about all the fun stuff you do all the time.
Yeah.
Do you know how many people are sitting at a computer hating what they do, trading time for money?
Yeah, it's.
Do you ever think about, like, that part of it in a sense that, like, by all measurements, you're a huge success.
It's funny that I'm supposed to do it here, but in daily life, when we're having these conversations with my friends, like, it. It goes back to this a lot. And I had imposter syndrome is what I felt like. And now understanding more now I'm proud of where I'm at by. By far.
Proud or comfortable?
Proud, but not comfortable. I think I have more pressure on myself now than I did when we were just trying to. To claw out of that situation. I do have the feeling that rushes over me quite often that I wasted a lot of time in all those struggles and that I didn't go out and seek more resources to learn during that period. Like, I was. I was in the trenches, so I didn't have time to go read a book or to ask somebody for help. And I was raised, you know, you just solve your problems.
Yeah.
Double down, buckle down. And now I look back and I'm like, man, if I'd have just. Even if I'd have shut the shop down for a month and literally, like, went somewhere and just did some training or found a program way back then, just the amount of time I could have saved. But now I'm at peace with it. When I have that emotion flood over me, I'm at peace with it because I understand that it is the journey. It's not the end or, you know, where you're at now. And all the qualities that I acquired that kind of shaped me to who I am now happen through those really tough times. And during that, especially my close friends, they're like, I don't understand how you live. Like, it is just constant. You're into five different. You know, the racing and the science museum deal we're into now and the business and the family and all the different things that the wind tunnel and I don't say no very often to. I've got fomo, fear of missed opportunity. So I just. I wish I had, like, five lives to live because there's so much that I want to do. Going back to, I was just making.
The point that most people from the outside looking in would see you as a very successful person who's doing things on their own terms.
Yeah. I was afraid that if I was happy or stopped to, like, acknowledge that everything is going good, that I was going to lose the drive and the sense of urgency to. To keep going. And I definitely don't want to be where I'm at now. Not that I'm not unhappy with it, but I. I realize there's more. There's. There's more, and it's not really financially driven. That's one thing that I've actually had to kind of push myself to do is to care about money more, because I really don't. But now I understand that it's necessary to allow me to do other things. And that's not like vacations and stuff, but just like being able to be a part of that science museum and building an automotive technology exhibit in the same museum that I used to go to as a kid that now my kids go to. And now I'm financially stable enough that I could be involved in a project like that. And so just examples like that that we need to make money. I appreciate it a lot more than I used to.
Yeah, that's good. So pre book, tell me kind of what's going on.
I met Chris Hoglund, who is one of the coaches for your program that we're in for my automotive shop. When he would come down and do his. His visit for a few days, he would stay at my race car shop. We've got a. A place there that he stays.
Legendary visits, they were like, that's when they were talking about the jet engine. They're like, you gotta see this guy. He's out on his mind.
Yeah. Yeah, so which.
And also just how fast you execute. Like if there's an idea, it's, you know, you're not, you're doing it.
We're just sitting there drinking beer, talking about life and philosophy. And he tells me that you're working on a book. And he can't say anything about it, but I need a pre order and so signed up and the book come in. And I think you had put a video out before, kind of like a build up to the book. And I think somewhere in that video it was like, you know, don't just go cover to cover on this thing, like sit and soak on it. But I'm the type of person, like, I get into it and I'm afraid I'm not going to finish it. So we're going to burn cover to cover and not listen to the advice that I got. And I got through the first module and like vapor locked.
Just the first part of the book kind of Tell me when the book came, what did you think about it? Like when you unbox it, Just the unboxing. Because you probably never experienced anything.
Never been into art or. I didn't really see the utility in art. And I get this box and open it up and it's got the doors to the. The library on it. I'm like, holy, that that's awesome. And I opened it up and then it's. It's got the nice little metal bookmark in it. My head, pretty cool. And slide them out of the case. And I just start, you know, looking at some of the pictures and the art in it. And the first thought that come across my mind was pretty funny. It was like, what is the deal with ice cream?
Like, ice cream is a theme in.
The book for sure. So in the back of my mind I'm like, all right, at what point is something about ice cream?
So you didn't start it. You kind of were like looking through.
Yeah, just looked through the art. And then it's funny. So one of my friends that I gave this book to had the same exact thing happen to him. In the, towards the back, there's the envelope and it says confidential. And I'm like, oh, this is a test. I'm not supposed to open this till I get to that point. There's no way I'm opening that until I get to the point. So then I'm like, I can't wait to get to the next module because now I know I'm getting closer to getting to that envelope. And the more I went through the book. The more I'm like, was that confidential envelope in there by design in that location to. To just really make me want to get there because I had to know what was in that envelope. Sounds pretty.
But you didn't want to do it out of order.
Nope.
Nope. So then you start it and which part locked you up?
It was Applewhite at first. Yeah.
So it starts off with a story about a cult leader.
Yes.
And the point of that story is just how ridiculous it is that these people cut their balls off and commit suicide. For a guy that doesn't look, he's an ex con, he's not even trustworthy. And most of us are pretty well intended trustworthy people, but we can't get people to even show up on time.
Exactly. In a creepy looking.
Yeah, super creepy. Like I think I make the point in here. If I met him at a party, there's no way I would think he had 38 people back at the house that would do anything he said, let alone one person.
Yeah. Yeah. So just in that first part about that, I'm starting to relate it to just different situations and how some people that I know in specific organizations have this following like just they're ride or die and the guy is a complete or, you know, whatever quality that I would not think would be a good leader. And I'm thinking to myself and I'm analyzing myself and I'm always the thinking about the balance of I need to be more of an asshole because I'm just too much of an empath. I allow myself to get walked over because I don't address something quickly or whatever. And so I. That relationship to me and my struggles as being a leader, but then seeing a guy like that who can make people go kill themselves, I'm like, okay, maybe.
Well, and we're raised to think like if you're good, good things will happen. And the parallel to that is, well, if I'm a person who cares about my people, they will in turn be loyal. Right.
Or like.
Which is not the truth.
100%. It stops it.
Yeah. But it's. It's kind of the, the normal way to think from how we're raised. Right. In a Disney movie type world.
Yeah.
It's the illusion that we, we kind of live in and we never verbalize the fact that it's not actually working. We just keep believing in it in a sense.
Right? Yes.
And then just what you said is then we think, oh well then I gotta be an asshole. And so it's these two Extremes when neither one are really the truth.
A hundred percent. It took three times reading this book to understand what as above is. So below. I literally sit there and stare at it. I'm like, why can I not figure out what this means? Like, it just. For some reason, it wouldn't soak in. But I talked to you about it too, and no, actually it was Christian. And he said, every time you go back through it, it's going to be different 100%. The as above is so below. The third time, it kind of clicked. And that's when I realized, so being the real nice guy or being is the same outcome. Like, there's something in the middle that I'm not seeing that that guy figured out. He caused people to do all that to themselves. And they were smart people, too. Like, it wasn't a bunch of.
Yeah, they're not a bunch of homeless, like, losers. They were like college professors, military, like, people that were accomplished in life.
Yep. I might be coming at this a little different than it was intended, but it just made me realize, like, going from one extreme to the other usually is never the solution anymore because they're really kind of the same thing. I'm compensating for something. I'm compromising for something by either being the dictator or being the guy who doesn't address the stuff when he needs to or being too empathetic about situations.
So the as above, so below is kind of like, you do some extreme stuff physically. Like, you like to go on these journeys where you're pretending to be a Navy SEAL or whatever, and you're putting your body through, like, really, really hard stuff that most people wouldn't do. Right. Well, you're playing with pain and pleasure, so the normal person would just want to be comfortable. And you're pushing yourself into this extreme discomfort in, you know, many different ways, mentally, physically.
Right.
And so the person who is inclined to take comfort and not do that would think that you're extreme or that that's crazy. Well, it's. It's the same thing with leadership in the sense the person that thinks, oh, if you're nice and you always do the right thing, people will do the right thing and it will follow. And then you have the people on the other end that are evil, taking advantage of people, and they're making money and very successful. And it's. It's really all one in the same. You have to have pleasure to have pain, and you have to have love to have hate. And most people gravitate towards the one that's easy and they build a world around. That's the way to do it. And if you do easy things and you're good and, you know, then good things will happen, but it's not true. Like, a lot of times you got to go into areas that are uncomfortable in order to grow or learn or, you know, get people to do things as a leader. So, for example, and you've probably heard me make fun of this before, but there's. There's a leadership book out there called like, leaders eat last about servant leadership.
Yeah.
So servant leadership is one very thin tool in a huge toolbox of things. Right. But the first time I ever heard of that was this naval captain that wrote a book called it's your ship. And there's a part in there where he talks about he took over the worst performing ship in the navy and got it to be the top performing one. And one of the things he did was he ate after his crew. Most of the time, the captain of a ship eats in their own quarters with the, you know, the brass on the ship, and they don't even eat with the soldiers or whatever sailors that you would call them.
Right.
And so what he did was he let them go first and then he ate with them, but he ate after them as a show of respect. And so then this whole thing comes out like, oh, this is servant leadership. But nobody's taking into consideration that that's one situation with one desired outcome in a moment in time. Like that thing doesn't scale to every other situation because I've seen very successful leaders that make everybody stand up when they walk in the room. They eat first. They eat in a VIP room, and they're very effective leaders. And so as above, so below, like, it isn't.
We.
We have this desire as humans for it to be one thing, and then we can just close the door and say it's that thing. But it's usually never that thing.
I relate it to science like we want a definite law or a definite. Like this is gravity or light, but.
Which is why I love the dual split.
It's. It's not there.
You have to be okay with the idea that it isn't final. And you have to be curious that there's more.
Solved a lot because that was a. A quarrel that I'd had for a long time. Whatever I threw at, it wasn't right to be able to see why it wasn't right and to understand it. It's just that that light bulb moment just felt good. Some of the things that, you know, come across in the book. It didn't taste very good when you first realized, you know, like, I'm the, I'm the cause of this, this issue in the first place and thought I was 100% correct. I'm sure we'll get into it later on, but yeah, those lap bull moments were just such a big dopamine hit because, for one thing, just to put it into a format to where I can understand it because like, I had these feelings about certain instances like that, but I never could or never tried to verbalize it or get it down on paper. And so when I'm reading across some of this stuff and it, it just like, yes, you know, and is this one of them?
Eve was the first documented leader. Adam gave up everything for her.
Yes. Yeah, that, that.
Did that make you laugh?
I made a joke to my wife about it, but now I remember her response to the joke, but I don't remember exactly how I worded the joke, but it was, it was pretty funny. But it was something along the context of like, I told you, I've been the problem the whole time.
How'd that go?
Oh, she, she's so used to my humor. She just.
So give me an example of one that made you stop.
Software and the initial writing of the software that, that young adolescent age and how you can be like, say you had a dad who's an alcoholic and you don't drink because of that adolescent time or you, you drink or, or you, when, when you're young, you, your parents fought and so like your, your show of love is to, to fight or it's to totally be passive and not fight at all. But either way that programming is there and it's running it again. Either end of the spectrum, it's, it's still kind of the same thing. And just once I went through that section, it didn't hit like it wasn't a light bulb right then, but, but I was understanding the, the premise to it. And then I get in a few situations and it's running in the back of my mind and, and I can see it and, and I know that person's history, that that's when the light bulb went off. I'm like, holy cow, like they're running on their five year old experiences software and, and he's 42 years old. And then I was like, well, I know that if they're doing it, then I'm doing it. And so it made me really start digging into like, why am I the way I am? I mean, One simple section. That guy.
So give me an example of one of a behavioral cascade.
I was really close to my dad's mom, and she passed away when I was 6 or 7, 7 years old. I was in the. They called it GT program. So, like, you test out and if you test above this, they put you in these specific classes. And so every year you're pretty much with the same kids because it's the same kids going through the GT process.
But this is like the, the kind of like an honor roll.
Pretty much. We're like a grade ahead of the rest of the kids. So I'm in first grade, but we're really doing second grade work. And so when she passed away, I went from straight A's to. I failed every year or barely passed every year up until I got to high school where I finally failed out. And I look back and I, I don't get really close to anybody. Like there gets to a point and then I just, I don't get any closer and I never protect myself. I didn't know that, but I believe that that's what's going on. So after she let you know after she passed away, they didn't tell us she was sick. She was fighting lung cancer, been smoking. And it was just like one day they come in, let us know that she had passed away. And it didn't soak in and I didn't understand it. And it really changed my. How close I would get to people, but also somewhere in there, and I still don't quite understand it, but it really ramped up my need for acceptance and approval academically. I knew I wasn't going to stand out, but I could make people laugh and I could do things that other kids couldn't do, you know, build things and stuff like that. And so I was always just. I always thought I was just interested in building things, but now I look at it like I just really wanted people to acknowledge that I was something special. And as with everything else, it's not all bad. Like, it kind of made me who I am now, but now that I'm conscious of it, I think that my wife probably pays for that more than anybody because she is the closest one in my, my world, circle world. And I didn't realize I'd do it, but I, I do. Like, I put a wall and pretty snappy when she tries to get in. Now realizing that just by me being conscious of it, it started to change because I'll notice myself like walling her out or I might wallow out and the next day, realize that was stupid and try to come back and like, hey, I caught myself. I'm sorry.
But the. The point of this is we do all that unconsciously most of the time. So when it becomes conscious, you can make better decisions in that way, right?
Yeah.
Because it's automatic pilot most of the time. From childhood.
Yes.
Isn't it funny that, like. Because I'm. I'm kind of the same way as, like, I'm shy, but then I do all this stuff to get attention, but then when I get the attention, I'm shy. It's this, like, stupid loop that makes absolutely no sense.
Yeah. Your story about the kid with the shoes.
Yeah.
Like, I'm like, man, I get it.
Yeah, I did it. So just if. If you don't know the story, you know, just a kid in a town far from here says, you know, hey, you're wearing Rick Owens shoes. And, you know, so it's a small group of people that would know that somebody who's really into fashion and, you know, you would connect. Just like if somebody was a race car driver, you would connect, right? You have a common language. Like, I don't know. For a bad example, Cowboys fans, like, they're gonna be instant friends for some reason, right? So I get shy, and I remember this. I was at a. At a bar, sitting there, eating, reading a book, and this kid comes up and he says he's a bus boy. You know, I started off as a lot attendant bus boy. Like, those are my people. Like, I relate to that kid more than anybody else in a weird way, right?
Y.
Like, because that was me. Like, if there's anybody I'd want to connect with and help and maybe have a positive influence on, it would be a busboy or a lot attendant or.
You know, and on top of that, you're. You're a pretty big empath yourself. So, yeah, to miss that opportunity is like.
And so then the. The. You know, the kid says, is that your Range Rover out there? And I had a camo wrap on it at the time. And I was like, yeah. And he's like, that's so cool. And I was like, okay, thanks. I go back to my book, and it's like, what did. Like, you have this. This car that you. Is clearly a cry for help. Like, notice me, Notice me. And then when somebody notices me, I turn into this little shy boy, and I don't use it as a way to connect and, like, hey, what's your name? Or, you know, and I had to retrain that out of my head.
To.
The point where a kid noticed the Rick Owens and I got his number and sent him a pair, like, because that's what I want to. That's who I want to be.
Yes.
But the automatic pilot is this shy little boy that, you know, feels like he doesn't fit in. That's. That was my automatic pilot. Even though I'm doing all this stuff to get attention and like, it's a cry for help, like a camo wrapped Range Rover and a kid compliments me and I go back to my book.
Like, stupid, missed opportunity.
Hilarious, really. How the human condition is, in a sense. So how does that change your relationship with your wife? Does she notice a difference?
Yes, and I made a mistake, so told her about my journey in the process.
And by journey you mean ayahuasca?
No, no, no. Just she. You're acting very external right now.
Oh, you get. You gave her enough that she can call you on it.
Yeah, yeah. So now she, like, knows the tools that I'm trying to work on and.
There'S nothing wrong with that.
Oh, she. She is.
That's good.
She's. I mean, it's great. She's. She's my biggest critic. And I say that in like the most positive manner because we're around a lot of people a lot of times from a lot of different groups from, you know, whether it's racing or what. And I say that in like the most positive manner because ever. And everybody's always nice and like, not much criticism ever comes from it. And she'll just. I'll even think I'm. We're around a lot of people a lot of times from a lot of different groups from, you know, whether it's racing or what. Did good in that situation. And she's like, you know, and not rudely, but just, hey, you could have handled that a little different. Like, that. That wasn't what I would have thought you'd have done. And at first I'd be defensive and then when I soaked on, I'm like, that is absolutely ridiculous how I acted after she told me. And it was ridiculous how I acted.
What she pointed out.
Yes. And so she's my superpower. It has definitely made me appreciate her a lot more. Like, I made the right decision there, even though I didn't quite fully comprehend how good of a decision I made.
So better to be lucky than smart.
100%.
The mass of men live lives of quiet desperation. So then the Frankenstein story, you know.
I've never read or watched or anything Frankenstein until This book, like, I've heard of Frankenstein, obviously, but I never actually knew the story. Watching him come in as a blank disk and then get programmed through the circumstances that he went through and by.
The reaction of others. Right?
Yes. And it was the 90% that was programming him. The, you know, all people who didn't think about anything but their specific situation and jump to conclusions and how it shaped him and then realizing how we're all. I don't wanna say we're all victim of that, but we're all definitely being exposed to that growing up.
And it's layer by layer, right?
Yeah. It's not just one thing.
We're developed layer by layer, and it just becomes automatic pilot.
It's amazing how quickly it can spiral to that direction and how hard it is to go the opposite direction as far as if he'd have been programmed correctly.
Yeah.
So that direction and how hard it is to go the opposite direction as far as if he'd have been programmed correctly.
Yeah. So that. That part. So now we're like 100 pages in. Next, let's talk about how we get that part. So now we're like 100 pages in. Next, let's talk about how we get encoded with an external locus of control to begin with. It's captured in a beautiful story we encoded with an external locus of control to begin with. It's captured in a beautiful story. We all know Frankenstein written by Mary Shelley in 1818. His is the story of all of us. And then we kind of go. And the story, the actual story, is a little different than I think what everybody thinks it is. The movie version. Yeah.
Okay. That's it. I hadn't seen it. So this is the only version that I know.
What else in im all know Frankenstein written by Mary Shelley in 1818. His is connected with you.
I like jailbreaking and hacking.
So just saying that, like, you just like the kid hacked the iPhone, the story of all of us. And then we kind of go. And the story, the actual story, is a little different than I thought. And nobody thought it was possible. You can hack your code, your automatic pilot. You just have to be intentional about wanting to do it.
Yes. And so it highlights the.
I think what everybody thinks it is. The movie version. Yeah.
Okay. That's it. I hadn't seen it. So this is the only version that I know.
What else in im?
The importance of having intention. If you're going to take an internal approach to controlling your software. And the example of the kid jailbreaking the phone and then how that relates to us. First, we have to have the intention of. I'm going to start making things happen for me instead of to me and how empowering that is. And now your possibilities are just regulated by how limiting your beliefs are of what you're capable of.
Yeah.
Well.
And hopefully the freedom that you connected with you.
I like jailbreaking and hacking.
So just saying that, like you just like the kid hacked the iPhone and nobody thought it was possible. You can hack your code. Your automatic pilot can write your own code. You don't have to use the code that everybody else wrote for. You just have to be intentional about wanting to do it.
Yes. And so it highlights the. For you.
Like you can write your own.
It's open. Right.
The shadow part. So it says the gold in this story is that we're all divided into two parts. There's the part of us that we perceive as ideal, and then there's another, less known side that lurks in the dark.
The importance of having intention. If you're going to take an internal approach to controlling your software and the example of the kid jailbreaking the phone and then how that relates to that leads into the Jekyll and Hyde story.
Our shadow is something we cannot see, pulling us towards something we would rather look away from.
Us first we have to have the intention of. I'm gonna. I think what. What I got out of the Shadow and Jekyll and Hyde story was the more you suppress that dark side, the more start making things happen for me instead of to me and how empowering that is. And now your possibilities are just regulated by how limiting your beliefs are of what you're capable of.
Yeah.
Well.
And hopefully the freedom that you're just.
Kind of embedding it into your operating system to the point to where it just takes over your subconscious. So.
And the automatic pilot.
Yeah. And that's what I'm calling subconscious. Yeah. So the, the bigger part of your brain that's running things throughout the day. And I'll back up a little bit. For one thing, I was like, you.
Can write your own code. You don't have to use the code that everybody else wrote.
I don't run on autopilot a lot. Like I'm. I'm thinking all the time. And then the other day, that for you. That's right.
Like you can write your own.
It's open. Right.
The shadow part. So it says the gold in this story is that we're all divided into two parts. There's the part of us that we perceive as ideal.
And.
And then there's another, less known side that lurks in the dark.
Power went out at our shop. And I walk into the bathroom, pitch black, Got my flashlight on and I kicked the light switch. And I'm like, duh. And then when I walk out of the bathroom, I flip the light switch again and I realize that was not a conscious. That leads into the Jekyll and Hyde story, our shadow decision to flip that light switch. But I've been in the shop all day and I'm still flipping switches off and on.
Every window is something we cannot see, pulling us towards something we would rather look away from.
I think what I got out of the shadow and Jekyll and Hyde story was where I'm going even though the power's out. And it just like, for some reason that clicked. It's like you do a lot more than you think you do without thinking about it.
That's a great example.
Yeah.
What is the shadow part for you? And if I had to guess, it would be not saying what you really think.
In certain situations, the more you suppress that dark side, the motions, and saying the nice thing or not saying something at all. Yeah. Yeah.
Is that accurate?
Yes, that. So that's where you're just kind of embedding it into your operating system to the point to where it just takes over your subconscious.
So in the automatic pilot.
Yeah. And that's what I'm calling subconscious. Yeah. So the. The bigger part of the dark side of it is maybe how aggressive of a person that I could be. And I fought to suppress that so much that I think I overcompensated with your brain that's running things throughout the day. And I'll back up a little bit. For one thing, I was like too much laying back, not doing something. When I was in school. I don't run on autopilot a lot. Like, I'm. I'm thinking all the time. And then the other day, the power went out at our shop, and I walk into the bathroom, pitch black, Got my flashlight on and I kicked the light switch. And I'm like, duh. And I fought a lot. And it was a. Quickly became like a source of attention. And I never started them, but I definitely always kind of made sure that I was. When things were starting to brew up, that I was just right there in case anybody just happened to. Then when I walk out of the bathroom, I flipped the light switch again and I realized that was not a conscious. To force some pressure my way, that I was ready to like, I kind of decision to flip that light switch, but I've been in the shop all day and I'm still flipping switches off and on everywhere I'm going, even though the power's out. And it just like for some reason that clicked. It's like you do a lot more than you think you do without thinking about it.
That's a great example.
Put myself in a situation to let it happen without being the guy that threw the first punch. And having a bit of a temper. Not a bit. I had a temper growing up. And so I don't know if that goes along the same context with the shadow, but I think that's my dark side that I really. Yeah.
What is the shadow part for you? And if I had to guess, it would be not saying what you really think in certain situations and saying the.
Nice thing or not saying something at all. Yeah. Yeah.
Is that accurate?
Yes, that. So that's tried to suppress. And then I overcompensated with it with. And then just kind of turned into a really empathetic, nice person. Like, I don't have that aggressiveness anymore. Like, I can't even hardly bullet up when I maybe need to.
What did you think when you got to the. This first insert?
The dark side of it is maybe how aggressive of a person that I could be. And I fought to suppress the shadow list.
So did you pull it out and separate it from that?
So much that I think I overcompensated with too much laying back. Not doing something when I was in.
School in the book and go sit with it. Or how did you do it? Do you remember?
Just like you're doing right there.
So just like this.
Got that thing out of the envelope. And first I was just looking at the COVID for a little bit, just trying to analyze, like, what I think I'm gonna see inside of here. Just looking at the art.
This is the.
I fought a lot. And it was a.
So my name isn't on the book, but I put my name on this.
Did you say that in one of your videos? Maybe some reason I quickly became like, a source of attention. I never started them, but I definitely always kind of made sure that I was. When things were starting to brew up, that I was just right there in case anybody just happened to. Either I noticed that or I heard you say that before.
I think I've said that my name isn't on there, but I don't know that I ever. I could. You know, I couldn't sit here and read this and not get choked up actually I didn't want to put this in there. Really felt very vulnerable. I felt very vulnerable when I wrote this. Yeah, many times I want to force.
Some pressure my way that I was ready to.
Like I kind of wanted to take it out.
Was that an indicator that it needs to stay put myself in the situation to let it happen without being the guy that threw the first punch and having a bit of a temper? Not a bit. I had a temper.
I think in the end what I thought was if I want people to be.
Be vulnerable for growing up and so I don't know if that goes along.
The same and be honest, then I gotta give something to get something. So it isn't about me. And so whatever embarrassment or shame or. Yeah, I feel it isn't about that. It's about saying like, hey, like I.
Figured this some text with. With the shadow. But I think that's my dark side that I really tried to suppress. And then I overcompensated with it with. And then just kind of turned into wow.
Through a lot of pain. Not because I'm smarter than you, because.
A really empathetic nice person. Like I don't have that aggressiveness anymore. Like I can't even hardly bullet up when I maybe need to.
What did you think when you. Probably because I messed up more than you. Probably because I'm a bigger Jack than you is how I figured this out. I mean that's kind of the idea, right? Is like in no way do. Do I ever feel superior to somebody with my knowledge. Because most of this stuff I. I seem to learn the hard way. What was your perception? Did it have that effect? You got to the this first, insert the shadow list. So did you pull it out and separate it from the book and go sit with it or how did you do it? Do you remember?
Just like you're doing right there. So just like this got that thing out of the envelope and first I was just looking at the COVID for a little bit just trying to. I don't know if this is normal, but as I'm going through it, I caught myself a lot of times thinking about my own Jack 3 and just. I really appreciated that you owned it the way you did and opened that vulnerable part of you up. I think it gave the book a lot of analyze like what I think I'm gonna see inside of here. Just looking at the art.
This is the. So my name isn't on the book, but I put my name on this.
Did you say that in one of your videos? Maybe some Reason I. Either I noticed that or I heard you say that before.
I think I've said that my name.
Isn'T a credit because honestly, like, there was times that the book started to seem like it was too good to be true. Like, I'm getting. I'm getting too much out of this thing. Like, am I getting, like, mind controlled or something like that with this? Because I am bought in. Like, it's so profound what I'm going.
Through right now on there. But I don't know that I ever. I could. You know, I couldn't sit here and read this and not get choked up. Actually, I didn't want to put this in there. Really felt very vulnerable. I felt very vulnerable when I wrote this. Yeah. Many times I wanted to take it out.
Was that an indicator that it needs to stay?
I think in the end, what I thought was if I want people to be vulnerable and be honest, then I got to give something to get something. So it isn't about me. And so whatever embarrassment or shame or. Yeah, I feel. It isn't about that. It's about saying, like, hey, like, I figured this out through a lot of pain, not because I'm smarter than you, because it. Probably because I messed up more than you, probably because I'm a bigger Jack than you, is how I figured this out. I mean, that's kind of the idea, right? Is like, in no way do. Do I ever feel superior to somebody with my knowledge. Because most of this stuff, I. I seem to learn the hard way. What was your perception? Did it have that effect?
I don't know if this is normal, but as I'm going through it, I caught myself a lot of times thinking about my own Jack history and just. I really appreciated that you owned it the way you did and opened that vulnerable part of you up. I think it gave the book a lot of credit because, honestly, like, there was times that the book started to seem like it was too good to be true. Like, I'm getting. I'm getting too much out of this thing. Like, am I getting, like, mind controlled or something like that with this? Because I am bought in. Like, it's so profound what I'm going through right now. And then it's. I'm going out in the real world, and the data is matching what I'm seeing here. Like, there's just so much bond going on at one time. So then to get to that part, it. It gave me a sense of the guy who wrote this book is not, you know, just like, hey, here's how all you people need to live and how I figured it out. Not that the book really did that, but it was just a lot at one time. There was times to where I'm like, am I. Am I buying in to this? And it's. Is this too good to be true? And so for me, it did two things. One was the validation. The second was it had me reflect in probably one of the most uncomfortable parts of the book for me. That. And then one section in the leader of having to really, like, self reflect on how I caused a lot of situations that I really feel I didn't cause or how I acted and had to take some inventory in the shadow list is that there was the story about your wife at the time. Yeah, yeah. And when you sat down and made the list of all the reasons she should have left.
Well, I mean, the. The situation was that she had cheated on me. She was putting money to this. Like, you know, all the stuff that if I just told you that on the surface, you would feel bad for me. Like, I'm a victim. Right. And the. The realization that I came to after feeling sorry for myself and whatever, you know, whatever is if I don't accept responsibility for this outcome, I'm gonna carry this into the next thing and this pattern is gonna repeat. And so I sat down with. With a notepad, and I said, well, what did I do to contribute to this terrible outcome? Because I never wanted to be divorced. And I. You know, the first one's hard to write the second, but by the 10th one, it just starts coming out of you, like. And by the end of making the list, I was like, man, I would have left me too. I would have cheated on me, too. Like, I'm a jack. Like, all the things that I, like. I was passive in the outcome, but very intentional in what happened. By being passive, it intentionally happened. Does that make sense?
Yes.
And so it's very similar to the first story up here of how the hell does this weird guy get these people to commit suicide? And we can't get people to show up on time. On the surface, yeah, I wasn't cheating. I was, like, doing the right thing. But there was a whole nother side to what I was actually doing and how I contributed to that relationship.
There was two thoughts about that, too. That. That just popped back up in my mind. One was when I got to the part where you said you were going to make a list of everything you'd done wrong after what she had done. I'm like, f that. Like, no, like, eff, her and what she did. Like, I literally thought, like I was mad that you would even have that mindset. And then I get through it. And then the, the thought about having an internal locus of control and, and controlling, controlling the outcome of it. You have to do that. And then that's when I'm like, man, I gotta, I gotta look at my own, because that's gonna be tough. And then as I'm going through some of those situations in my head, I had to stop. Like, I'm like, now, now I can't forgive or I can't, I can't look at this from that context. It took a while to. Yeah, it's hard to do that. I went through it last week. I thought my wife was just acting kind of snappy and I didn't know why. And so that evening I'm like, all right, how to cause this? And then I got mad at her and got mad at myself for not being able to figure out what happened. And finally after I calmed down, I'm just laying in bed and I realized, like, I've been on the go for the last three weeks just trying to make everything happen. And who got put on the back burner? My wife. I'll even walk in, grab the boys, give them kisses, play with them a little bit, you know, do whatever. And she's in there, you know, cleaning the kitchen or getting stuff ready for tomorrow. And that was a really. It was way harder to do than what I thought it would have been, but I literally caused that. I wasn't giving her any attention. And one thing that I've learned out of this is like every human has a need for acceptance and belonging. And the person closest in my circle got none of that for the last three weeks because I put everything else in front of her. So I've used this more than once. As far as realizing that behavior's off with someone. I also have noticed that the closer the person is to me, the harder it is for me to implement that process. If it's an employee or just person that I run into, I can be pretty quick with it. But the closer they are to me, the harder of a time I have of doing that. Because the motion part of it and my own hard headedness just doesn't allow it to happen at the same rate. But now that I can at least get to that point, that that's a big change.
Yeah, it's hard.
Yeah.
How did you experience? I am. And just in the sense that I've always thought leadership stuff was disingenuous because it jumps right to the management stuff. Assuming that people have their house in order. Right. In the system here is you have to be able to lead yourself and you have to have a good inventory of what motivates you, why you behave the way you do in order to understand how others behave and lead them. Like this has to come first. Right.
Just that alone if. If this one was not here. Changed interactions with lots of people that I've met for the first time, people that I deal with on a daily basis, family. It turned me more into a leader just by doing inventory and cleaning up before I even got into the more of the tools and what can be used as a. To. To be a leader. That alone was. It changed a lot just in somebody's response to me. Like instead of just responding back or not responding, all it takes is a split second once you've done it a lot. Like, where are they coming from? Like what's causing this reaction? And sometimes they're upset, but then I realized they're upset about something that I want them to be upset about. Like they. I want them to have passion about executing what they're supposed to be doing. And so instead of me like trying to pacify them or, or just calm the situation down, now I look at it as a bigger picture. Like what's going. What's actually going on here. And just to have the clarity in those interactions has made me a better leader. And that's tough to say. I couldn't even say that I was a leader starting this and going, you know, second read in. It's easy to say I am. It's hard to say I am leader. It's very uncomfortable. And now just accept it. Like this is not. Accept it because it's given to me. Accept it because it's what I want to. I don't have to be the leader of the world, but I want to be the leader for my family and for my business and for my community and friends. And that really helped me polish up. Yeah, it.
It's interesting to me that from the book and even like the workshop, most people relate this to parenting and their spouse more than business, which was never intended. Never, never would I have guessed that that would be the predominant influence. But I mean, I think being a parent probably is the hardest role as a leader in a way because your.
Responsibility is every like their software. Like, once you realize, holy cow, I am responsible for how those little. The code hard drives running around are.
Going to turn out and that there's a. There's a way for them to be coded that will guarantee their success.
Yeah. Backing up a little bit, though, when I've got friends that when they do interviews for, you know, CEO, vice president positions, any high ranking position, a lot of times they want to go to dinner with their family because they learn more from how their family acts than if they're all sitting there and they're kind of rigid and like, don't know what to do or whatever the case is. They. They tell more from the family. And so it makes a lot more sense now. Like, if. If you do have your house in order and when I say your house for yourself, you know, if you're doing what you're supposed to be doing, your. Your families can be better for it and it's going to show. So if you're interviewing somebody and that unit's together, that gives you a lot better idea that this guy's probably going to be a good leader for that position.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah.
People that complain about their kids, like, you can't control who your kids are. Like, you completely control. Your kids are like you're literally controlling every part of their life for quite a while.
Jordan Peterson said. Said it something about his. If you hate your kids. Yeah.
I think it's like, don't raise kids that you don't like or something. That's genius.
Yes.
Okay, so how did I am change your life?
Probably the most important thing that kind of covers it all is I learned about what internal. External locus of control is and about how important it is to have intention and to own your destiny. Like, it's not made for you. You make it. And just because you had a specific type of life growing up doesn't mean you have to be that way the rest of your life. And you just. All you really have to do is decide that I'm going to do it. Like, it takes nothing else. You just have intention and go, okay.
So then how did you make the jump from I am to leader? Did you go right in After I.
Got done with that one.
This one could stand on its own.
Right?
Like, I could rewrite the beginning of this and it could stand on its own. If I just took out the leadership part, which was kind of my idea in the beginning. Like, I could have. I am sales. I am entrepreneur. I am.
That's right. Yeah.
Because the I am could literally just.
Mandela was at the very end of it. Nelson Mandela. Am I saying that right? And so I felt like I was kind of hanging on whatever that was.
That's a setup for this.
And so then I walked right into the book and I think I went ahead and did the first module. It's been a little while ago.
Are you saying module like the videos or just.
Yeah. So then kind of broke it into like. That was my stopping points.
What's the thing that you remember about this one? Kind of the first thing that grabbed you?
I don't remember what. What is the first section?
So you have a little story about Alexander the Great.
Okay.
And that he was a creation, basically. Like he was short and like he was. He wasn't what everybody perceived him to be. He didn't look great.
It's my favorite part.
He had pink in his neck and like got mistake. One of his soldiers got mistaken for him.
So.
Good looking kid.
Yes. And.
And Alexander was short and it was.
The queen or king's mom of a.
Yeah, but place he'd conquered, right?
Yes. And then she said she started apologizing frantically because she realized the mistake she had made.
And he says it's okay because my friend is also Alexander. We are both, Both Alexander and neither of us are Alexander because Alexander isn't a person. He's a character.
That's right.
And in a sense, like that's leadership is. It's being the character that people need in order to accomplish the mission. And it's, you know, we get into androgyny and all that, but you have to. You have to shed a lot of the stuff that you hold dear.
Yeah. It's a way more sacrifice than I anticipated. And one part I liked about Alexander was his dad grooming him from real young. Like it was already he was going to have that position. But then he embraced it and, and he could have just done what a lot of people do with. With a fortune handed to him. They just screw it up. But instead he embraced it and really understood what it took to be a leader and the importance of that character and turned it into something that his dad probably couldn't, even could not have imagined that would happen. Yeah.
You know, I actually wrote a part about dads and how like Alexander the Great, Martin Luther King, jfk, like it all was because of fathers grooming them from very young. But I thought that it would end up being too isolating because a lot of people go, well, I didn't have that, so I can't be a leader. So I cut it. But I, I went, I went through the pain of writing it and then, yeah, took it out because I felt like it would discourage people, not encourage them or. That's Kind of how it felt when I was.
I'm sure this is not the last piece of literature coming out of this library, so. No, but I'm sure it'll find itself somewhere.
So it says Alexander the Great is a character Alex embodied, not him. A symbol created by and for his followers, representing strength, fear, hope, belonging, salvation. Less like a human and closer to a God from birth. Alex had to sacrifice his individual identity. Whatever he hoped and dreamed for, secretly and personally. Well, never will really never know. Because the character of Alexander the Great evolved over time and replaced him forever. That's leadership.
It's ugly.
Then the story of Hitler, which.
What?
There's two stories that made me really nervous. The shadow and this one.
So reading it on the plane with everybody crammed around you and there's Hitler big on the page and I'm sitting on the southwest flat is a little.
Bit uncomfortable, I would guess, but it makes the point.
Oh, it's, It's. It's one of. In fact, I told you. I think my favorite story is the little girl growing up Post World War I and her brother telling her stories about how they used to have presents under the tree and. And about all the. How life was in the art and how vibrant the community was. And she knew none of that. And she's skin and bones. And then this guy's on the radio talking about. He's on trial and he's talking about Germany deserves better, you know, and we were a thriving city and. Or a thriving nation. And that he's not a traitor, but patriot I believe is the term he used. And right then you can just see if you're in that situation and you heard that voice of hope rattling through the radio. Especially in the situation and circumstances that he was. Yeah, yeah. Like there's that thread of hope that you need.
Yeah. Which is the. The driver for everybody. Is that belonging and meaning. Right. He was telling them that they were superior, raising their self esteem. I mean we see Hitler as.
As what he.
What he was in the end. But in this moment he was raising self esteem. He was making them feel good about themselves. So any other standouts in leader Big aha's.
The sacrifice and putting your personal wants and desires to the side to complete a mission. The part about. Or it's kind of threaded through the book. But the more of a bad situation there is or a need for something, you know, whether it's the more chaos.
Famine chaos, the more external people are in their control.
Somebody. All you need is that catalyst and they have it so much Easier to.
An opening just for somebody to step.
In and lead take hold.
Yeah.
Like Churchill and. And the ways warning about Germany and keeps warning them and keeps warning them. And all of a sudden now we have a problem. And now that they have a problem, guess who they need?
Churchill.
And he steps in to. To fill that void. But then at the same time, as soon as they're done with him, he doesn't get reelected and he's out. That I don't. I don't know if that part was in the book, but after learning about Churchill from the book, then I got to researching them some more and wanting to learn more about them. Then Netflix come out with a well special on him that was really good.
But a lot of ice cream in Leader.
A lot of ice cream.
Let's not talk about the confidential book in the back. So how did leader change your life?
Showed me how important the chaos is to create those opportunities to step into a leadership position. And you can either create it. I'm not saying that's the way to do it, but it is definitely a tactic that is used on us. It made me really aware of my outer surroundings and how much I'm actually influenced by these tactics and methods in my daily life. A lot more aware of realizing the polarization in politics, race, religion, and how the stuff that's in here is the exact tactics that are being used. And the more that they can get that divide and create that vacuum, the easier it is for control.
Yeah. And that's kind of the as above, so below. Right. Like most people aren't aware that the person creating the problem is the person selling them the solution.
Yeah.
Right.
My analogy for this book is it turns you into a leaf blower and there's all these feathers, like 90% feathers. And now we can kind of influence those feathers.
That's a good analogy. Feathers are people with an external locus of control. They externalize control to the government, to fate, to luck, to their. The way they were brought up. But is it's not their life isn't in their control. And 90% of people are Feathers.
Yeah.
It's a world full of feathers.
Yeah.
So I've asked you a lot of questions. It's your. It's your turn to flip it on me.
So this is fun. I just happen to bring a little note card.
Three questions.
Go with three. Okay. All right. So, Chris, tell me about the day you decided to write I'm Leader during.
COVID I wanted to do something with the downtime and I'm like, what, What Could I do. And then I was very frustrated with leadership books and the conversation of leadership because, you know, in the automotive industry you have a lot of successful entrepreneurs, and because of their title or their success, it's assumed that they're leaders, but they're usually terrible leaders. Like, I can, and I don't mean this in a condescending way, but I can literally count on one hand of the, you know, thousands of dealerships that we've worked with, how many leaders I've met. Like, I met entrepreneurs, I met managers, but real leaders. And so I really wanted to dive into that and Covid gave me the opportunity. So I was really excited about the lockdown.
That's when it started just going off of that. So do you think now that you, I mean, something really great came out of COVID use that time well. Do you ever think you'll schedule like a large amount of time again to, if you ever have another something like this that you're pretty passionate about, to where you'd actually give yourself that kind of lockdown time to create something else?
Yeah, I would. I really want to set up my business where I'm creating because I really think, like, there's nothing like this out there. I want to do more of this, but you have to have a certain freedom where I can't come in and like, you know, deal with whatever the day to day business stuff is. So I'm trying to organize that in a way that I can spend more time doing that.
All right, question number two is, what did you learn about yourself writing this book?
There was a couple points in the process where I thought it was a pile of garbage and I had to quit or double down and figure it out. And I went to places mentally that I never knew I was capable of. You, you know, you just kind of understand there's a lot of layers. Like, what was the text I sent you last night from somebody in the community that was like, what did he say? He was like, I don't know if I've been.
He's had it wrong his whole life or something like that. He's talking about, he just finished his.
Ph.D. and then, yeah, he said, I just finished reading. I am stunned. I'm just stunned. I feel like a buffering video on YouTube. And so to create that outcome and have that effect. Because the one thing for me that I've always hated about writing books is that most people don't read them. And so I designed a book that most people that are going to buy this at this price point are going to read it. And then if they do read it, it's going to have an effect on them. And so I've stacked the deck as much as I can in making whoever gets the book better. But that took me going to some places I didn't know I was capable of because of the layers. There were just. There were just times where I'm like, this is too complicated. But I didn't give up. I kept pushing into the complicated. I'd never done that before because it also. There's a simplicity to it.
Yeah.
It's disguised as simple because of the big words and the tempo of the page turning.
Right.
But then every once in a while you get to a part and you're.
Like, oh, wait.
You gotta go back. And you're like, oh, man.
Damn it. Yeah.
There's an honesty to it that is done with very few words. Where most people have a lot of words and they never make a point. This makes a point with very few words, but in a way that's seducing you.
And like the font changes and just how it causes a pause, like, it's. One of the really impressive parts about it is just to get that into a format that people could read to me is impressive. But then to integrate all the art into it and the design of how big the letters are spaced out. They are. And then the font changes and how it causes you to pause. Yeah.
I'm using every tool to magic, communicate and to create a scenario. And I think that's probably another thing, is that's more how I will do things in the future. I will control the design where before I would have somebody else do the COVID I would have somebody else format it and it would all be uniform. I don't think I'll ever do a book like that again.
Question number three. What is the desired outcome of someone reading this book?
I just, I think I figured out a cheat code that nobody tells us. Right. Like, I don't know, you probably have these conversations with your friends that are really successful. There's a different set of rules and there's a different way of doing things that nobody tells you. And they don't tell you till you figure it out for yourself. I'm trying to tell people. No, there's. Here it is like, this is the thing like that nobody tells you. Like, ideally we'd be teaching this IM to kids in school young because they would, they would have higher self esteem, they would be more accomplished, they would feel more authentic and they'd be more patriotic. I think I think the cheat code and then the outcome of knowing that cheat code is raising people's self esteem that they think there's.
