Books That Changed My Life: Sean Ringgold & The Seasons of Life

We'd like to welcome Sean Ringgold. The book we're here to talk about today. The Seasons of Life by Jim Rome.

The way that my father died was so beautiful, even though he died from pancreatic cancer. But I was with him. Every moment of almost every day was at his bedside. He dwindled down to, like, 98 pounds, but I didn't see his size. I saw his spirit.

I'm so grateful for the challenges. I'm so grateful for the fights that I had. Because before he was dying, we were making amends. And I forgive you, Dad. I forgive you, son. And I love you. It feels so good to forgive. I wish more people would just let go.

What is the thing you had to let go?

Books.

They've saved us from the dark, set our souls on fire, and whispered truths we couldn't ignore.

I'm Chris Collins, and this is books that changed my life.

I try to tell my friends that have fathers and mothers. If you got some problems and issues and they piss you off, forgive me. Because once they're gone, you can't get that time back.

So the big question, how did the Seasons of Life change your life?

Oh, what an incredible place you have here.

Fun, right?

Incredible. It's.

I love books.

Most people need to start learning how to love books. Everybody loves their phones these days.

Oh, yeah. I don't love my phone. What. What do you think it is that makes people love books?

Or not, depending on how people are raised. Many people now are being raised on the tablets, but back when I was growing up, my mom would always read to me. My father would try to read to me whenever he had time because he was always working a lot. My mom was a teacher, so she would always read me by my bedtime story, which was it? Don't laugh at me. What was it? John Henry. That was one of them. The Little Engine that Could. And also Tiki Tiki Tembo. No side Ambo Charliwari Uchi Peri Pembo. When falling into the well, I forgot what book that was it called? Tiki Tiki Tembo. Is that the name of the book?

I'm not familiar with that one.

What is it? I think so. I can't believe I'm remembering this. 42 years ago. I was like four or five. But it looks. It's an incredible playstick to escape, to create, Lose yourself from reality and embody yourself in different characters. It's a place. It's a safe place.

Yeah. Yeah, that's how. That's how I feel. So what do you Think of the library overall.

You'd never know it's here, right?

I'm looking for a hidden compartment. This place is incredible. The different period pieces and things that you have in here. I'm like, what? Whoa. I saw the Rocky. I mean, your self help development section, that's my. That's what I love. Marketing. Yeah. I mean, art Shakespeare. You did an incredible job in there. I want to come here and study. This is like.

Oh, anytime. You're welcome.

It is a place. It's quiet too. Just unbelievable.

Yeah, you're welcome. Anytime you just want to hang out.

Thank you.

We'd love to have you. So today we'd like to welcome Sean Ringgold. He has starred in the Family Business on Netflix and bet. He was in Uncut Gems, Luke Cage, Notorious American Gangster and more. Before that, he was a bodyguard for Entertainment A Listers. And before that, and the most impressive is the New York state champion arm wrestler.

Yeah, that was back in my day. I used to top roll them. Give him. Give him that heat.

The Roc away Flash was your nickname.

Come on, Chris.

I'm left.

I'm left at right hand champion if you want. I'm just joking.

I. I won a arm wrestling at like summer camp when I was like 13, something like that, but I don't.

Think I stumbled across it. Kind of weird. I used to be a New York City lifeguard in Rockaway beach from the time I was 16 till about 20, 21 years old in the summertimes. It was a year after I retired as a lifeguard. I started doing construction and I went to go visit my lifeguards up at 117th Street. They had an arm wrestling competition set up on the boardwalk. And over the Top was one of my most favorite movies. Are you kidding me? Put the head back. I mean, this is, you know, Sylvester Stallone over the top. I don't think there's a time I watch over the Top and don't cry. You know what he's like when he sees the kid and all that. I'm a little. I'm a mashed potato. I'm real soft even though I'm strong. So I said, let me just enter this competition. I beat everybody. And they were like not trained, but I just watched what they did and I'm very strong and I beat them. Then they. And I was doing it quickly. So if you go on YouTube when you put Shawn Ringgold arm wrestling, it says the Rockaway Flash. I just kept just hitting them and it like. And then I started doing it for a While and became a professional. And then I had this guy that was on some stuff because I wasn't taking anything. He ripped tendons in both of my arms. And I was doing the arm wrestling match with Larry the Cable Guy. It was a money match in Queens. He ripped both tendons in both of my arms. And I still arm wrestled. But after that, I retired. Because I'm talking. It was hard for one time to. My arm was always like this. I couldn't extend it out, but it was great. You meet a lot of people, a lot of good guys, and there's nothing better than winning. You know, when you taking someone's hand and, you know, giving you that look, do you.

Does it still, like, does it hurt sometimes?

Yes. Like tennis elbow. You know, if you have tennis elbow, like, if I'm on my motorcycle, I'm applying the brakes. You're like, ah, you feel it? So now, being an actor and a producer, I wanted to make sure that my body is in good condition. And every time you're doing pulling exercises of, you know, with your tendons, you could injure yourself. Then that's gonna hurt me in my career. So I'll do a movie, have a stand in. But I will never enter a competition again because it's not worth getting hurt.

So your strategy of the Flash was to get leverage quick, like, because in arm wrestling, if. If you have a little leverage over the top, you have an example wrist strength.

It all depends on the opponent that you're going against. So depending on if this guy has incredible arm strength, right? So if his wrist is not as strong as mine, I will do something like this to leverage his power. This is called top pressure. So I do certain training exercises to make sure this little movement is strong, where I can pull the leverage away from him, and then I can do side pressure. A lot of people think it's going like this. No. I take my whole hand and I put my shoulder and I lock my arm to my body. And I'm like, you use your body. So when you see professional people, you see when they move their arm, their body goes with it. You're anchoring your arm to your shoulder, so you're using your back, your shoulder, and it's called a shoulder roll. So one of my biggest moves, if you look on YouTube, I'm. I used to come in and fight and then drive their hand right into the pad. But sometimes when you have guys that are skilled and trained, they know how to counter those things. It's all about training, preparation. But it's Very painful on the body. Don't try it.

Did you win money doing that?

Oh, yeah.

Is it big prize now?

These days, it's a really big deal. It depends on how much someone wants to bet. But I've never won more than like 1000 or 1500 bucks. No, that's wrong. Espresso tonics. Thank you. Oh, what'd you order? Oh, well, this is. I got what you got. This is a water lemon.

Nice. Fancy. Thank you.

Thank you so much.

I was at a Super bowl party, and this guy came in, said, yo, big man, you want arm wrestling? Must have had a couple of drinks. I don't know why. I had about a thousand dollars in my pocket, and I'm only usually have my credit card. So I looked at this guy, I looked at his arms. I'm like, this is a trick. Does this guy know that I used to be an arm wrestler? I said, sure. You want an arm wrestle? How much? He says, you tell me. I said, $1,000.

And obviously, hey, he's a little inebriated. Gave my friend the money. I gave him my money. I said, you sure want to do it? I was scared. Cause I'm like, I never had someone call me out like this. But just being a big guy, he wanted to try to call me out in front of his female friends. I said, sure. Got at the end of the bar. I said, best out of five. So once he gave me his wrist and I felt his grip, I was like, oh my God, I'm gonna spank him. But I didn't wanna embarrass him, so I just played along for a little bit. He tried to get me down, like, are you ready? Boom, boom. Hit him. Three out of five. He gave me the money. My friend said, it's time to go.

Cause he was. He couldn't believe it just happened. But all wrestling, what do you think he was thinking? I don't know. Alcohol does some things to people. Yeah.

Cheers.

Cheers, my friend.

So where did you grow up?

What is this? This is nice.

This is Vivace espresso from Seattle. It's our favorite espresso.

Delicious.

And then just some tonic.

I never had that before with the tonic.

Yeah, it's. It has a little balance to it. Right.

I'm gonna show how to make that. I could make that back in New York when I get back later. It's nice. That's my pocket. I grew up in Rockaway Beach, Queens.

So mom was a school teacher. What did dad do?

My father was an electrical engineer. He worked for Quotron Systems and then Chic. I think that's the name of the chick in Manhattan. And then I was at. I grew up in Rockaway beach and had a million and one jobs. I used to rebuild and sell motorcycles. When I was 16, I started rebuilding motorcycles. I've had over like 15, 16 bikes. Became a lifeguard when I was 16 years of age. I was always hustling, meaning that I had to always have money because I don't want to be without. So while I was lifeguarding, I was driving cab in the afternoon from the Deuces. Shout out to the Deuces. These incredible experiences made me who I am today. Drove cab from 5pm to 6 in the morning, slept for about an hour. Went to lifeguarding from 10 to 5. And then I go back and I do that two to three days a week to make an extra three, $400. You know, we're going back 20 something. 30. Oh, shoot. I don't even want to think about how old I am, but I was doing that.

Did you have any siblings?

My sister. I have one sister.

Older or younger?

She's older.

Older, yeah.

Teacher.

What was the drive to make money? Did you feel like you wanted to do better than your parents or what was it?

That's a good question. I wanted more. I want. I saw a lot of kids around me. I'm lucky. I grew up in a condominium called Dayton Towers.

A lot of kids had other things that I didn't have. And some of my other friends, they were traveling and doing things and I'm like, damn. I wanted to do that, but everything came down at the end of the day, money. And I never wanted to be limited. I was very lucky to have friends and associates that I met that were just ambitious and they started their little own businesses. They were just outgoing.

At one point in my life, I almost got caught up in the wrong crowd because, you know, there was a project across the street, but we lived in the Co op so the kids would always try to take my remote control cars. I dealt with all types of different things growing up where I got a lot of rejection because me being a person of color, lifeguarding, we're dealing. Back in the day, it was Irish, Italians and everything. There was not many black lifeguards and did these type of things. And then I became good at it. I skateboard, I surf, I swim. You don't think as a big guy, but I mean, I'm really great in the water. I was an ocean lifeguard. I came, came out of the water. Like, number three out of, like, 60 guys. I'm an incredible swimmer. Not trying to brag, but I'm like. I'm fearless when it comes to the water. I respect God in the ocean, Mother Nature, but when I get in the water, I just feel like I'm one with the water. So being in that experience where people doubted me and they're, you know, always going like that to me, looking at. Look at what we have, it's stuck in there. Like, I want to be able to provide opportunity for my family. When I have. I want to do the things that they were doing. And that motivated me to start figuring out how to make money, be an entrepreneur, get in business for myself.

What was your dad's view on money?

God bless us all. He's no longer with us anymore. He was somewhat of a penny pincher. He saved. He didn't really. He wasn't a spender.

He was making money. He just didn't spend it.

Didn't spend it. Like he, you know, when he grew up poor, from what I. From what he told me, and he just would always just save, save, save. He wouldn't, you know, wasn't that much of a risk taker. He took some risk, invested in a couple of things, but. Meaning that if he would have made certain moves, the generational wealth that could have been built would have been off the hook because real estate and so many things were so cheap. Piece of land, I remember well, think.

If I would have bought apple or any of that nuts.

Unbelievable. So he tried, but I just became ambitious by being around ambitious people. They say birds of a feather flock together, eagles fly alone. You cannot become an eagle if you're hanging around with pigeons. So I've always maintained, even when I was younger, to stay around, motivated, encouraged people who always want to see the best for me, not try to see the worst in me or want to see me win, want to see me grow. And I believe in life, we attract what we are. You know what I mean? If certain things aren't happening or you're not meeting the right people because you don't have the right energy, what's going on inside of you. I truly believe that I can just sit in the airport, not say anything because I'm feeling good inside. I'm attracting opportunity. I'm attracting great people to me. And you can see where someone is many times just by looking at someone's face. They say eyes are the windows to the soul. And it's true. You can see what's going on in someone's spirit and in their soul. Just by looking into their eyes, it tells you a story you could tell. Insecurity, you could see strength, you could see so many different things. So I think my life has been truly blessed by God. Continuously putting great people in my life to help guide me through these challenging valleys that come with success and trying to make a name for yourself and build a life for your family. So the journey is continuing.

So did you feel like people underestimated you?

God, yes, absolutely. You know, many of the kids of color weren't doing the things that I was doing, so I became an outcast. Many of them were getting into some bad stuff. Some of them were doing some great things, but they stuck to their circles. I. I just loved surfing. I loved remote control cars, I loved motorcycles. So I got into those things and it helped, helped me with my creativity. It helped build my confidence as a young man to be able to take a motorcycle apart. I changed a motorcycle engine in my mother's kitchen in Dayton's. Took it up on a skateboard. It was an 1100 Katana. Got the schematic, broke it open, changed the cylinder heads.

Wow. Did you get that talent from your dad?

My dad electronics, he used to take things apart and I'd watch and I know how to read. So when you read the schematic and go step by step, it's amazing what you can learn. And a couple of my friends, my friend George, he helped me out and I couldn't believe. My mother to this day says, you actually changed cylinder heads in our kitchen. And I did. Rolled it back downstairs. Took me about an hour and a half, two hours to put it back in the motorcycle and I was off. I had an 1100 Catano. I was 17 years old in high school. I rolled up to school, they were like, it's a big bike and I'm 17. That's when I knew I was just different. There's nothing wrong with being different.

And part of that's good parenting, right?

My mother, incredible. My father, incredible. I'm blessed to have had good parents that they got divorced after 16 years of marriage, but they were, they maintained having a great friendship. And that was so important for me to see, to have a father that I knew loved me. Nobody's perfect. Everyone has their shortcomings, but they did the best they could with what they had. And I always reflect that there are people out there that don't have parents that have died at early ages. They didn't have any type of experiences. So when I look at certain People who blame their father or their mother for this and that. At least you had a mother and a father. And I've just learned to give people grace, forgiveness for the things that they may not be strong in areas that they weren't supportive in. Just give them grace and forgive. Because then it gives you peace. Because when you hold on to anger and animosity, it pulls you down, it sucks the soul out of you. And I've learned, let go and let God forgive. It makes life a lot easier.

How old were you when you figured that out?

Maybe 18 or 19.

What were you bitter about at that point that you were struggling with, that you somehow came to that conclusion?

My childhood growing up, the kids in the neighborhood really.

You know, not just racial slurs, but just the criticism of, why are you? Why are you trying to be white? Cause they got mad at you because.

You were a lifeguard.

I was a lifeguard and I was whipping her when I was swimming. I was beaten bad. And I'm like, it made me feel good too. But it all stemmed back from books that I used to read. I used to be involved in a company called Amway and they put you into a personal self help and development system. And I started reading the Magic of Thinking Big by Dr. David R. Schwartz. I had one friends that forms People by Dale Carnegie. Impact Communication by Roger Dawson. His needs, her needs.

Atomic habits. I could just go on the four agreements.

Tons of sales books, marketing, but mean at these books. And I was listening to Dr. Deepak Chopra when I was 16. I was listening to the audio tapes I used to be a part of. Earl Nightingale. Remember the tapes? I have tons of tapes.

You still have them?

Yes, I do. The original, the actual audio cassette that I used to pop in and listen inside the car. And I want to get those digitized to a digital format. But one quote that stood out to me, Success is your greatest revenge. And it has never failed me. Because when you start to succeed, everybody then wants to come along and help you. And it just gives them without having to say, remember how you treated me. They now know that they can't come back and ask for a favor. All they can do is watch you win. But I don't have any ill feelings. But it's a big been a fuel when people doubted me to help me succeed. And as you succeed and you become a leader, you become a better man for your family, for your children, your wife. I mean, I'm blessed to have a wife and two children. And the books that one quote, success is your greatest Revenge. It's changed my life.

That drove you?

Oh, it still drives me to this very day. When.

You'Re producing, you're raising money for films, and you're trying to sell a project to a network, you get rejected. In this world, you fail your way to the top just doesn't happen like that. Tons of rejection, Tons of rejection. And with a smile on your face, like, yeah, all right. And then when that one person says yes.

Then all of a sudden you're a genius. All of a sudden you're overnight success. Yeah, but that's just the way of the world. It's a good thing. It builds character. Rejection is great, but entertainment, business and some people. To get to that 1%, to get to that 2%, you have to not care about what other people think of you. You have to engulf yourself with self, confidence, belief, faith, get lost in books believing. Even when the world seems like it's crumbling down, just being optimistic. Like they say, happiness is a choice. Many people, they have to choose to be happy, but they sometimes get caught up in the world and looking at all the things that are wrong and not looking at all the things that are right, all the blessings that they do have.

Do you think happiness is a choice?

Absolutely.

How does it work? What's the architecture to it?

Oh, that's a good question. I always look at those that are in a position of lack. My mother always used to say, look at what's going on in different parts of the country, and you start learning about the world in which we live and seeing that people that did nothing wrong are born into hardship, having to travel to get water, or people that are born with deficiencies, not an arm, not a leg, or health issues, cancer. And to know that I'm here at my age right now, alive and well, it gives me something called gratitude. So my mom being a teacher at PL705 at Far Rockaway, she used to. She's an incredible teacher. She would take the kids to McDonald's. Some of these kids didn't have money to go to McDonald's. So I would go with her into the projects and Edgemere projects and to see how other people were living. And it made me grateful for everything that I had. So when I was being a little brat, thinking, I want to have a house, my friend has a house, our cousin has a house, but we're living in a co op. But then when I went to the projects, I said.

I love where I live. It gave me gratitude. And I think more kids these days need to go to Places where people don't have money or people are poor or disenfranchised, they can see how blessed and fortunate they are. They'll stop complaining. And then, as an adult, one of the best things I ever did was I was working with a client and we went to Africa. I went to Johannesburg, Durban, Soweto, in Cape Town. So when we got to Johannesburg, I saw poverty like I'd never seen in my life. It made the projects in New York or the housing developments look like the Hamptons in comparison to looking at the shantytowns, you know, heading out of the airport. The heat, the dust, the dirt, it just gave me such gratitude to say, man, until you start to travel in this seat. Other people that are living.

So beneath the poverty line, and they can still find happiness and smile. When I was in Jamaica one time, I will never forget this image. I was going into Kingston to go fishing with a client. And there was a rocky road, like rocks. The kids were barefoot, no sneakers. We were driving by slow. It's vivid in my mind. Rocks. They're playing soccer and smiling and laughing with no sneakers on their feet. And I was probably around 25, 26. I never forgot that image, but. And I said, what in the hell can I complain about? Until you get out and see others that have less, and then you look at what you have, you start to have something called gratitude. So I choose to be happy because. And some people aren't. Some people aren't happy. Some people choose to always find fault and something is wrong with somebody or something, and it's. I don't have time for those type of folks.

So I grew up in Mexico as a missionary kid. In Mexico, we didn't have TV or whatever. We just played in the street. You know.

I remember times where we didn't have a soccer ball. So we would take paper and wrap it in tape and use that as a soccer ball. Like, you know, you're just kids, whatever you can do. But I. One thing that I do remember very vividly is these youth groups would come down from America to help build houses or do different things. And I just remember how miserable and entitled these kids were that, you know, I wished I had their life because I. You know, I never chose to be a missionary. I didn't want to be the only white kid in Mexico.

And how did you end up there?

My parents, though, they were missionaries. Well, my mom and my stepdad. And so he was a pastor, God bless him, and. But I didn't want to be there. I wanted to, you Know, I wanted to be an American and fit in and just have the middle class life that these kids had, but they were miserable. And the kids in Mexico that lived in cardboard houses, gratitude, happy. Yeah, we're happier. And it really stuck with me in a sense of.

You know, it is a choice, like you said. Well, also one thing in Mexico too that's a little different than America is they prioritize family. And so that is, you know, something that drives.

Their happiness in a way too. But yeah, when I was a kid I had the same sort of experience where I could see the contrast of the two and the, the kids from America were so rude and entitled and. Yeah. And just upset that the, you know, whatever wasn't right or they, you know, couldn't get the snack they wanted or there was no McDonald's.

I'm dealing with that right now with my nine year old. And it's not easy because we, I only have her, you know, at night and then in the morning she gets on the bus and then the school has her for seven to eight hours. So. So you have to say, I'm glad I moved to a nice area, good school district. But you have to understand that when your kids are out of your reach, those people have influence on your kids. So I have to double down when she gets home and I want to take her to Africa and I want her to take a ride with me. I haven't taken her to the projects yet, but I think it's necessary for her to appreciate what she has now. Living in a nice house, in a nice neighborhood. I want to always make sure that I give my children that understanding of other people do not have what we have and have gratitude, don't be entitled. Because I didn't have any entitlement growing up. It wasn't easy, but it wasn't hard. Like compared to other people that were less than but only wanting more. It's not an unnatural characteristic to want to succeed or have nice things, go on nice vacations. And then I really didn't take a nice vacation until I was an adult when I went to the Bahamas with my family. Everything else I've been grinding all of my life as an actor. Auditioning, auditioning, auditioning. They say success is built on inconvenience. It's true. And they say I would always make myself available for auditions and work. And I said no to many weddings because I booked the job. And if you're not available, they go on to the next person. So then people, like, people see the glory, don't know the story. They don't know the journey in between, what it took to be where I'm at today. And for all the blessings and opportunities that are happening in real time, they don't understand how much I sacrifice. I have. One of my friends has gone on 22 cruises. I've never been on a cruise in my life yet. But now I'm trying to make certain moves where I can have some time.

Do you want to go on a cruise?

I do.

Oh, that seems terrible to me.

Have you ever done it?

No.

They're like amusement parks. They got go karts clubs. They. Look, I just don't want no icebergs, you know?

I don't know, man. I like hotels and cities.

Like, I grew up in Rockwell beach across.

Okay, no offense, but the average person that goes on a cruise isn't like, I don't know. And we're not talking about books like the Conversation.

That's true. I don't know, but they have cigar lounges, and many times when I'm smoking a cigar, I read it. A lot of people that small cigars are usually calm and chill. They're readers. Many of them are. We get into good conversations.

Yeah, but I don't know how you segue from cruises to that.

Because you said people ain't read on cruise. But every time I go to a cigar lounge, it's people that usually sit down there reading the paper. They're into something because it's a state of calm. And I've met some good people in a cigar lounge. Yeah, absolutely.

I mean, the things that. That. That I think about on a cruise, I think little kids running around.

Yeah.

I think them peeing in the pool. I think about buffets. And that's always the worst.

Now you're making me not want to go on a cruise.

No, I've never wanted to go on a cruise. But that's just me, you know? Just back to the happiness thing is, there was this study done by London University. I think it was, like, over 20 years, they were studying happiness. And the conclusion that they came to in the end was that happiness was based on expectations. And what you're saying with gratitude is you're changing an expectation. Because if you expect things to be easier, you expect to have the latest toy or the latest Nike or whatever it is, that expectation makes you miserable. Or if you ever think about a time you've been unhappy, it's usually an unmet expectation. And so what gratitude does is it changes your expectation because you're like, hey, the thing I have actually is better than this thing that they have. And so I think happiness is based on expectations. Like, we control our expectation.

That is true.

And by, by doing gratitude exercises or, or traveling and just seeing how other people live. Live, it changes your expectation because you're like, wow. Like, in contrast, like you said, even, you know, the, the parts of America that are less appealing are still like the Hamptons compared to other places in third world countries. And so that's an expectation, right?

Absolutely.

And so that's what you got to do with your daughters. You got to, you got to somehow sabotage your expectation.

Yes.

She's not entitled.

Yeah. And, you know, mom doesn't want her to see certain things, but I think it's time now, you know, like, this is what's really going on in certain places in the world. So mommy and daddy doing the best they can for you.

And I, like, when I was a kid, I wouldn't have said this, but now that I'm an adult, like, my experience is a. As a missionary, like, you know, it gave me a good foundation to not feel entitled and to understand, like, what's, you know, what's important in the human connection.

What you said is so spot on. When I meet certain people.

You can feel that they meet you where you're at, certain, you know, people who are where you are intellectually or they're into books. And that having a good human connection, you know, when some people are just tuned out, like when I just came here to the studio, to the library, everyone has great people skills. Look you in the eye, you felt sincerity. It was a great human connection coming in and meeting people. Then, you know, you meet people, you're like, they're just not there. And you're right, we're not going to die with any of the things that we have now, the experiences that we have with people that we love and trying to make a difference and touching people's hearts, that's what I feel is the most important thing in this world, is to leave a legacy or to leave people better than in the which way you found them. Leave them with words of encouragement. Try to motivate and encourage them to be the best versions of themselves.

It's well said. Have you thought, have you thought about being a pastor? You kind of got that vibe a little bit. Like you could give it. You could give a good sermon.

Your mouth to God's ears. I don't. Maybe one day, maybe one day I need to become more well read in my Bible. And I'm working with my Pastor Trying to take the time to discipline myself, to learn more of the Word and not just read the Word, but then apply it. Learning in life to give people grace and be patient, be empathetic, because we're all imperfect. We all make mistakes. You know, we all fall short. And learning to forgive, that's one of the best qualities that I've ever learned, you know, as a young adult, is to forgive, to let go and let God. Because holding on to pain and animosity and discomfort, it stresses your body out. It's not healthy for your family. Even people that you meet, you know, when people are going through some real, you like.

Okay, that energy is off. But my life changed by just learning how to forgive. And I look at how fortunate I am. I shouldn't be alive. I've had so many close calls on motorcycles and doing stunts and stuff. Just life in general. God just continues to keep blessing me, saying, no, you're not. You're not leaving. I got you. So I think that it's my duty to try to make a difference. I can't change the world, but I know that I can possibly change some lives and give people inspiration and hope to become more. They know about my journey and the things that I've gone through that have been challenging. Family, death, life, disappointment, not getting certain jobs, not being able to do certain things. And then when you get over those hurdles, people look at you as an example. They say, well, I remember when he was going through that. Now look at him. Just don't give up. Never accept a no from someone who's not qualified to tell you yes. That's one thing that I wish I learned earlier, and I got that from a book. Never. I can't remember which one, unfortunately. But never accept a no from someone who's not qualified to tell you yes. You don't share a million dollar idea with someone that's making $50,000 a year.

Yeah, you understand my point.

Because so many people, it's funny how the loudest person in the room ends up being the one people take advice from. And nobody, like, measures that against their actual success or what they've accomplished. It's just because they're the most, you know, boisterous or, you know, confident. That's what they're saying. But that usually doesn't equal anything. So the book we're here to talk about today is the Seasons of Life by Jim Rome.

Yes.

And so this came into your life when you were 24?

About 24, 25. I can't remember. I think about 24, 25.

What was going on? Kind of set, set the stage for us. Like, what were you struggling with? Where were you at in life?

I was trying to find my way. I was finished doing. I was working in clubs, doing security, bouncing. I was working at a place called Nell's on 14th street and 8th Avenue. It's no longer there, but got a lot of great people there.

But working nights.

Working nights. But also I was doing sales and marketing. I told you. I was involved with a company called Amway, then prepaid, legal and doing all of these, you know, reading a lot of books and being optimistic, knowing that I was gonna find this opportunity that was going to change my life. But I had already.

Had the bug already of personal self help and development. Turn to books. When I'm going through trials and tribulations and reading about stories of people, people who are became successful, overcame atrocities and hardships, you know, in different biographies. I'm reading and reading and reading. Then I got put onto Jim Rohn in this book. I just. In the system, they say just read 15 minutes a day, it could change your Life. Just read 15 minutes every morning. Start your morning off. So I started acquiring this habit, reading just 15 minutes.

Where would you get the books? Would you go to the library or would you go to a bookstore?

Back in the day, it was Nightingale, Conan, Remember, they had the audio and I would order the books. They'd come and I just started reading. And then there was a quote in that book. I remember I started working at this place called 106 and Park, BT's top 10 live. And I got an opportunity to be on TV. And I wasn't supposed to be on TV before I got the job. They said, you cannot dance or you can't put yourself on tv even if they come to you on the cameras, because we have a live studio audience. And this one day that I read this book is why I'm at where I'm at today. There was. I can't remember which chapter because I was listening to the audiobook last night. But it said, seize the moment for every opportunity, for it shall never come to pass again. And this day they came to me on camera and they called me Big Head. And I was like, if I get on camera, I'm going to lose my job. I'm working with all these top celebrities. Just ignore them. Like the security captain said, do not engage with them to say thank you very much and go back to doing work. They were trying to pull me out, say, hey, how do you dance when you Go in the club. I'm like, nah, I'm not going to do that. I can't do that. And then all of a sudden that book flashed in my mind and I said, effort. Started dancing on the show. The crowd, the live audience went nuts. They were like, what? And then from there, every other week, they started putting me on TV again and again. And then after that, that show ended. I ended up starting doing commercials. Burger King, Boost Mobile, nxivm. I started booking jobs and started making more money than I ever did. It was amazing. So I was already sold on the entertainment business. I'm like, I can't believe this is physically real. It all started from this book. Because I would not have had the guts, the cojones to just say, do the thing you fear. The death affair is certain. All these things were popping in my mind at that very moment. And I just remember to seize that moment of every opportunity for it. And I said, I may not ever get this opportunity again. Go for it. And I'm so glad I did. And ever since then, knowing how that worked out for me, I just continued to embody myself in more and more books. People who are successful and they say readers are leaders. Leaders are readers or vice versa. Meaning that the people that I would engage in conversation, like you, we could just start quoting different books. And what did you get out of it? Personality plus. Talk about melancholies and calorics. Different personalities. Everything that you want to have, do and obtain is controlled through people. So the better that you could understand people. It's easier for you to get the things that you need and you want. God gives us two ears with one mouth. We need to listen twice as much as we speak. Even though I'm speaking more because you're asking me questions, but meaning that when you're around wise people, you learn how to sit back and be quiet and listen. You know 48 lows power. Don't outside in the masters. When you're around powerful people, learn how to be quiet. Don't be the loudest one in the room. Just be there and listen. Be observant, be a sponge. Take that information, put it inside your toolbox, and then when the opportunity presents itself, you can apply it because you have learned knowledge and applied knowledge. People are learning all the time. But how many people are actually applying it to their real life? Many people learn they know a lot, but then you look at their life, what have they really accomplished? So then they don't have that thing called credibility.

What does the metaphor of seasons mean?

Here, winter, spring, winter, spring, summer and fall. So I've learned from the book I got from it, the way I interpret it, because we all interpret things differently. We have different seasons. People sometimes come into our lives for a season, and sometimes they don't. Some people come in and they stay with you through all four seasons. Because some people are friends. When things are going great, they want to be around success. But then what happens? When you're going through tough times, you're going through death. Like, when my father passed away, I really saw how blessed I was to have how many friends called me every day to check on me. It meant the world to me. And in my diaphragms to this very day, we speak two, three times a week minimum. How are you? How's your family? Those are the things that I cherish the most. But meaning that understanding the book. There are people that will come in, sometimes give you little seeds to help you grow, and sometimes they just disappear. They fall off the branch. And you didn't do anything wrong, but God sent one of his angels to help you, but he didn't want that person to stay there. He wanted you to figure out certain things for yourself. Then they just go away. And, yeah, I've learned to accept that because there's certain people in my life that help me in ways that people I've known for years didn't help me in my career to just say, I got you this role. I got you that role. And then I'm, like, so happy to embrace them. Then they just disappear. They don't answer calls. I'm, like, still dumbfounded to this very day. I'm like, I'm not going to call them out. But such a beautiful person got me a role with some major actors, hooked me up with an incredible entertainment attorney, and then he just disappears. He's still on the top of the charts doing incredible movies, but.

I don't understand. But the book helps me to understand why people do the things that they do and don't try to force things. Let go, let God. Let things happen and move accordingly. It just teaches you how to look at the better things in life.

And we all have different seasons. We have our winning seasons, we have our losing seasons. But I don't believe in losing. It's about learning. It's about learning. You improvise, adapt and overcome to any situation that you're presented with, and then you strategize, and then you move forward accordingly. And they say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting A different result. If you're not getting certain results, you're doing something wrong. Change your approach. Change your approach. Who's helping you.

That's almost common sense. But people just double down on the same thing that's making them miserable or creating an undesirable victim mentality.

Some people are afraid to win.

What season were you in when you. When you came across this book?

I think I was in my. My spring season. Which is what letting go of the dead leaves from the fall. Letting go of the doubt, understanding. If everyone likes you, you're not on the right path. You have to make people threatened. Threatened in a way where when you success leaves clues. And many times when you start to succeed and do things that other people haven't done, it's not that they're hating on you. You're a reminder. If they're close to you, you are reminding them of the courage that they didn't have to pursue their own goals, dreams and aspirations. Like, hypothetically. My circle has recently changed. I have given up alcohol. I was never an AA candidate or nothing. But.

You had to put that in there.

No, no, no. But I'm serious, because I used to always. I'm a creat. Sometimes when we would be in the bar having shots, I'm very boisterous. Sometimes I'm like, hey, guys, can you guys do me a favor? Please raise your hand. And I want you to raise your hand after we have a shot. I want you to repeat after me. I am not an AA candidate. They say, f you, man. I'm like, we're all getting drunk anyway. But I stopped drinking.

So what do you drink with the cigar now?

Mushroom coffee. I love mushroom coffee. I haven't had regular coffee. I want another one of these. This thing is fantastic.

Oh, yeah. Reaching out.

This thing is phenomenal. We're going to be talking all day. I wish. Let's push the flight back a little bit more.

There's something in the expresso from Vivace that I love it.

My goodness.

Well, just back to the seasons. Like, I'm curious. So then were you going into a winter season then?

No, I was going into a summer season. We were just doing in winter and spring. When I took that risk on that show and danced and I started. I'd never wanted to be an actor. I wanted to be a fireman. And I wanted to do what my other lifeguard friends did because I love to surf. And these guys that I knew, they had businesses, they had bars, they had dealerships, and these kids were. They had they lived in this area called Bell Harbor. New Ponzet, very upscale, very nice multimillion dollar homes. I was down in the co ops, wasn't the projects, but it was decent, it was nice. I had a decent life. I'm not over here complaining compared to other things I've seen, but I wanted a life that these guys had because I'm like, they have a house, they have toys, cars, motorcycles, and they're traveling, going to Costa Rica. I said, I can do this to get a property, rent it out. I was around people that were doing things. So I said, let me figure this out. So I said, maybe I could do sanitation. But I said I wanted to be a fireman because they only worked, you know, 72 hours and then they could. They had very flexible shifts.

Yeah, my grandpa's a fireman, so he would drive truck on the off days. So he had two jobs.

But exactly. Yeah, that's what I wanted to do. And then after that I was like, you know something? All right, that didn't work. And then here we come with this, the security thing. And then it just, it just started to propel from there. But the books, man. Were you shy at one point? Yeah, to some degree.

Was it hard being in front of the camera, being shy? Is that something you had to get over?

Oh, I'm going to tell you a secret right now, Chris. I was going to put it in my book. I'm still going to put it in my book when I finish writing it. One of the biggest secrets I have as an actor and as a human being. When a person, a human being, is comfortable in their own skin, it is like the day that you are set free, the shackles of your mind are broken forever. When you're comfortable with who and what you are and what God has created in you, nothing can stop you. And one of the biggest things I've learned, stop caring about what other people think of you. It can drive you crazy. Everyone is trying to put on a show and they're dying inside. I have learned to be comfortable in my own skin. I'm comfortable what God has created inside of me and all that I'm evolving into, I'm still growing, I'm still prospering. And there's no failing. There's only learning and trying to give back. So no matter what anybody thinks about me, I'm good. I'm not here trying to prove anything to anybody. I'll try to give you some words of wisdom, motivate and enrich your life. I love to see you Win. I love to see people win. There's no hate and jealousy in my heart. That's one of the biggest things that have helped me, that I feel that if other people could adapt that mindset of just being comfortable in your own skin, it's impossible to be shy, because then you're not insecure.

How old were you when you figured that out?

20. Like around that time. 24, 25. That. Starting to act that spring season, I didn't know if I was gonna be an actor. I just got on tv. It was a video show. Then I started doing some music videos. And then when the show ended, I was like, okay, let me see. What are these other people doing? Okay, get a headshot. Get a comp card. Okay, I have to send these pictures out to an agency. And then I got called to a meeting, got some music videos, and then I was at an arm. I gotta shout him out. I went to an arm wrestling competition. That's where I met my manager. His name was Adam Silver, and he had Silver model Management. So I said, hey, I'm trying to act. Never took a theatrical acting class at all. Gave him my headshot. He says, you're a good looking guy. Thank you very much. Great. All right. The next day, they called me for a Burger King commercial. Never. I did not know how to go about auditioning. Nothing. I knew nothing. But I'm very smart. I'll coincide the room. I'm looking at what these people are doing. I'm like, okay, that's auditioning. Okay. So now I have to be comfortable and act stupid. Because it was funny. I had to say, why do I want to go to Burger King to get these chicken fries? And we're going back. You can go on YouTube and see. It's an old school commercial.

Eat chicken fries.

Yeah. I was like this. I said, I just came from the gym. I need some protein. So I went there to drive through. I said, do you guys have any chicken fries? So I just let myself go and they died. And at the time, I was bodyguarding. I was. I could say his name. I was bodyguarding 50 cent at the time on his movie Get Rich or Die Trying. So I didn't know that there was something called a callback, meaning that if they like you, they call you back. But I'm working with a list, you know, stars and entertainers. I don't got time to go back. I'm like, either I got the job or I don't. So they called me for a call back, and I didn't go that pissed them off because anytime a producer reaches out, we want to hire you. And. And then they couldn't cast someone that did what I did and I did. I just watched and I came up with something in my mind and I did it and they liked it. And then I actually booked the commercial. So that was my first regional. Then I did a Boost mobile commercial with Fat Joe. And then after that I did a Dunkin Donuts commercial that was for a Super bowl, one for the playoffs. I'm sorry. And I forgot the Troy. It wasn't Troy Aikman. I forget. Thank you so much. Bless your heart. You really make these things good. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Cheers. And then that led to another one. So being comfortable in your own skin stops you from being shy. Because when you don't care about what anyone thinks about you, you can just be. And who you are is enough. We all trying to be something that we're not. Just be comfortable with who you are. Your gifts, your talents, and you work on them. Don't be afraid to speak your mind.

But there's gonna be a lot of people watch that would agree with that in principle. But how do you get over the hump there with the idea that you don't care what other people think? Because, I mean, everybody kind of has a mask, right? In a sense, some people, it's a. It's a hard. It's a hard thing for people. How do you. What are the steps to get through that? Like, you had the desire to be better, you had the desire to improve yourself. And so that can be a very powerful lubricant in that situation, right? Because if you want to succeed bad enough, you'll change things about yourself or you'll put yourself in uncomfortable positions. But not everybody wants that.

My mind operates in paragraphs and in sound bites because of. I've read so many books on personal self help and development. Certain things come out when I hit a challenge. So I'm like, I want to do this. But then a fear like, what are they going to think about me? Oh my gosh. So I've learned this. Do the thing you fear. And the death of fear is certain.

So push into the thing you fear.

Run towards what makes you uncomfortable. I had in my old apartment where I used to live before I got my house, in the living room, every single morning. We got in scripted letters over where we ate, over the dinner table. It says, life starts outside of your comfort zone every single day. We'd walk up in the morning, going to the kitchen Life starts outside of your comfort zone. Making those uncomfortable phone calls, whether I'm doing fundraising for a charity, raising money for a film. Life starts outside of your comfort zone. Unfortunately, we're bred to live in a comfort situation. Unless your parents push you to be uncomfortable. But that's where the magic happens. And those challenges with things that make you uncomfortable. If things are so easy, you do the thing that's so uncomfortable, so many times it starts to become normal to you. And then that's where the success is and the uncomfortability. Everyone thinks that it's. It's just easy breezy. No, no, no.

I heard somebody last week say.

People that avoid discomfort have hard lives. People that embrace hardship have easy lives.

Yes, it gets easier as you get older and you apply yourself to that type of mindset. But like I said, it's a choice. Some people have victim mentality. They think, oh, poor me. And it's always someone else's fault. You have to look at your situation and say, when you have other people that are dealing with a lot, a lot of pressure. Like yesterday was a challenge to get here, to make things happen, the flights, everything. My publicist, she hooked it up and got things, you know, moving, pushed my flight, my flight back. And I was dealing with stress, with production, and having to pack my whole room up, the whole thing. And I just went like, just one step at a time. Get that, organize this, got it done. And then you look back, I'm like, mission accomplished. Just one thing at a time. And focus on yourself. I've learned focus on yourself, watch your actions. You can't control other people too. I can't control how you will respond to what I may say. I've learned that too many people are so afraid to say what's on our mind and what's on our spirit. What are they gonna think? Who cares? Because the truth is, when you walk out of their presence, they're not thinking about you. They're going about their day. You die tomorrow. Oh, he was a nice guy. I'm gonna miss him. Life goes on. They gotta go to work. The world doesn't stop. So I think we spend too much time caring about what people think about us. And we're living to please others instead of learning to be nice to ourselves and love ourselves and focus on things that are really important, like our family and things that have value. Just so caught up in other things that have no importance. Would you agree with me on that?

Yeah, for sure. You mentioned 50 Cent. Did you read 50th law say it again.

Did you read 50th law, Robert Greene? I did listen to the whole audiobook. I didn't read it. I actually do have the book, but when you get busy with acting and auditions and stuff, it's easier when I'm in the car, you know, from going for a walk to put on the audiobook. A lot of gems. Because this entertainment business and how to navigate through it can be very challenging. The guy is really smart and.

I think it was really a good book. I did enjoy the 50th power by Robert Greene. And so Robert Green is 48 laws of power. I read that one. Yeah.

But 50 Cent wrote the 50th law with him.

They co wrote it. They co wrote it together. Yes. Yeah. Good book. Did you read it? Yeah, okay.

I read it. Actually, I didn't listen to it. I didn't. I never even. Does he read it? Does 50 Cent read it?

Yes, I believe it's his voice on audible. Yeah, that'd be.

That'd be cool. I always like it when the author reads it.

Yes, absolutely.

Okay, Back to. Back to seasons. Okay, so page 14. I'm gonna read you this and then I want your thought.

Okay? Okay, sure.

If life were to hold such a precise answer to an age old question, surely their discovery would now be history and each of us would now be living to enjoy our success. In truth, what is the formula for success for one will lead to self destruction for another.

I take from that. Everyone's built differently. Everyone is not built to be a leader. Not everyone is built to run a company or a business. We're all built differently. Everyone. Now, in the age in which we live, everyone wants to be an entrepreneur and to have their own business. But the truth of the matter is, if you don't have certain disciplines that are in place, it's just not going to work. You become who you associate. If you're not around people to help guide you to knowing what comes with being an entrepreneur. Overhead and staff. And you know what I'm talking about, Chris. Not everyone is ready for that thing. Some people are hate. I've from my observation of life, some people are just supposed to be employees. They get their pay, they go home. When you're an entrepreneur and you're running your own business, it's sometimes 18 to 20 hours a day. You're working for yourself. You have to work. Jim Rohn says it best. You have to work harder on yourself than you do on your job. But most people put more time and energy to their job than they do for their own goals, dreams, and aspirations. They're building someone else's dream, helping. But some people are supposed to be team players, and that's where they're comfortable and they work like we have a bowling alley. Everyone's got different lanes, different parts that they're playing. That's their position. Everyone has their own separate lane. Not everyone is built to become successful.

If you just bridge that with what you were saying earlier about being authentic is that gives you permission to just be yourself and be authentic. You don't have to be so mimetic and copy everybody else. Figure out what your skill set, what your ambition is, and kind of line all that up. And you can find examples. But even the example that you think is closest to what you want to do still isn't you. Right? So it could give you permission to just be yourself and understand that everybody's different in that way.

There's nothing wrong with being different. I don't want to be like everybody else. Some people, Everybody wants to fit in and say what's cool at the moment. I have no desire to be like everyone else. We are all individually unique. I like learning about things that you like. I want to know about.

Josh. Like, I want to know what so many. I want to know what other people are into. That's how you grow and expand. I have no desire to be like anyone else, but the best version of me, because that's what makes us unique as people. Individuality.

Yeah. Okay, next. Next quote from the book. Better than many of the wrong friends are a few of the right friends. Better than a few of the wrong friends are no friends at all.

We could talk for hours on that one. I said it before you become who you.

Well, let's name some names. Let's hear about the people that weren't friends. Let's call them out right now.

Some people, they will hang around when we want names. They see you. They see you on the rise too big. Oh, man. I was. Oh, my gosh. I don't want that heat. It's better just. They know where they are.

I mean, it is very much to what you were saying earlier is you just, you know, you got to be okay with. With not trying to please everybody, not trying to fit in. And if you end up that you don't have any friends for a season, it is what it is.

You got to.

You got to vote for yourself first in some situations.

I've learned this. Remember, I want you all to quote this one, because this is another thing that I've lived. I apply this A stranger is nothing more than a friend you've never met yet. I probably got that from James Jim Rohn as well, because I have all of his stuff. A stranger is nothing more than a friend you never met yet. I've met people on the street, on a bus, in a car, on a plane, in first class, just talking. And I've gotten closer to some people that I've known for 15 to 20 years. And they show me who they are through their actions. What do they say? They say what you say, I do not hear. Once action speaks, ever so prevalent. And they say the definition of character is sticking to a decision long after the emotion has left you. How many people make a commitment to get in shape, to do this, to do that, and then 30 days go by back to the same habits. This thing of life isn't hard. Us as humans, we make this thing hard. If you stay consistent, you stay disciplined, and you stay focused, there's nothing that you can't accomplish. We have everything that we need here on this earth right here on our phones. Google, we have AI now, what information can you not get a grasp of? But then applied knowledge. You read it, you learn it. Are you then going to apply it? Many people just sit there and want people to do it for them. But then when they start having success, they get uncomfortable. Certain friends don't want to see you go because like I said before, they see your success. It reminds them of their discipline. My circle has changed since I stopped drinking. It's no longer like, yo, let's go and not really calling me anymore. Because you start seeing the stupid things that they're saying. They're compromising, they're eating the wrong foods. Because it all comes. The discipline breaks when you put the alcohol and the poison in your body. The inflammation starts. The gut health starts to suffer. So once I stop drinking, it's not easy. But there's substitutes. So.

I just try to find a substitute that is not as bad as alcohol, that I can still stay focused, wake up on time, and keep my disciplines and stuff like that. But friends. Coffee, friends.

It takes effort to become aware of our staggering and limitless abilities. It takes effort to become enthusiastic over a cause or an occupation. It takes effort to continue when our results, as well as our friends tell us to give up trying. It takes effort to feel right about everything that happens. The joy as well as the sorrows of life. And it also takes effort to learn to love ourselves above all others, especially when we are so consciously aware of our failures. Doubts and tragedies. It does not, however, take effort to fail.

Oh, close the book. That's it. He said everything right there. I mean, how can I. What can I come after that and say? Everything he said was absolutely true. Most people are afraid to take a chance. They play it safe. And it does take effort because I believe in failing forward. But once you have a win, all you need is one big win. People don't. They forget about all the losses. You need just one big win. It's true. Oh, and then it's like, holy cow. But most people are not willing to get their teeth kicked in. I've learned. There's a book I read called Rhinoceros Skin. Incredible book. You have to be tough when people are saying things. Let it bounce right off of you. You got to have rhinoceros skin. Just keep on moving, keep on moving. But then when you get that one win, they're like this. I know you could do it.

I never forgot all the things you said. You know, you're my man, bro. Remember back in the neighborhood? I'm like this. Look, I can't believe. Did you forget how you treated me when I was younger? Now we're cool. Now you want to invite me over for dinner? Now you want me to come to the barbecue?

Names. Come on.

Oh, man. My neighborhood. Oh, my gosh. I try to only go to visit my family a little bit, but, man, there's so many people that put me through hell. And then now they're like this. I knew you could do it. I'm like this.

Do you remember how you treated me? You remember the things that you said to me? Now you would have shake my head in front of everybody, be caught like this.

But I still kill him with kindness.

I mean, really, it's like, thank you.

Success is your greatest revenge.

It was your fire. It was your fuel.

I didn't have to hit anybody. I'd have to hurt anybody. Just win. And then it's just like this.

And it's a blessing.

When's the last time you got in a fight?

Like a real fight?

Yeah, like, yeah.

Not, not, not rolling, doing jiu jitsu. My gosh. I couldn't tell you. Maybe I was 15, 16 years old. I. I'm good with verbal judo.

26.

Verbal judo. You were fighting at 26? Yeah. Was it at a bar? It was. I kind of felt that.

This guy.

What did he do?

We went to watch a band in the drummer and I was a drummer. Walked up to my ex wife, Satan. But at the time, she was My wife's wife.

Name was Satan.

Yeah. Can you believe that?

Are you joking?

Somebody named Satan?

I love this. I love this.

Her nickname is Satan.

You gave it to her.

But she had this shirt on with, like writing on it. And he took his finger and started, like.

On her. Yeah.

Chest.

And I'd been drinking scotch.

That's called a can of whip ass. You gave him that? He didn't.

I heard him.

Oh, I'm not mad at you. Touch my. My fiance.

Down to the bar, though.

That's okay. What you got?

He didn't talk to me again either.

Scroll.

Okay, next one. This is, this is a good one. Smile at adversity, it shall surely appear. Be grateful for adversity, for it forces the human spirit to grow. For surely the human characters formed not in the absence of difficulty, but in our response to difficulty. That's why they were your. The people that underestimated you, were your fuel.

Oh, yeah. To this very day, it's. I. I just. I'm just. Amen. And amen to what you just read. It's absolutely true. Preach. Just keep winning. Just keep winning. Keep pushing forward.

So this kind of, I think, plays also to the metaphor of season. So some of the seeds we planted ourselves through unbreakable habits. Others were planted for us by parents, teachers, and other well meaning, but often misguided people whose own poor thinking habits were passed on to us. In either case, our current attitude, finances, environment, lifestyle, and our view of our own future possibilities are called circumstances. And to change those circumstances, we must change the cause of those circumstances, which is ourselves, which is the behavioral cascade.

Right? That's right. Taking a full accountability. Stop making excuses. Because I don't make excuses. Where my parents were, what they had, what they didn't have. They did the best they could. Sometimes people cannot give you what they've never been given. That was my therapy where I'm like, why couldn't I get maybe a certain amount of love? Or why didn't me and my dad do this? Or why didn't my mom ever say that? Or what? Maybe you have to look at their childhood, what they went through, and stop casting blame. When you get older, more mature, you can stop blaming your parents for everything that they did wrong and start saying why were their actions that way? Because you have to see what happened with their parents. And once I got that full story, had a better understanding of life, and then I was able to let go and not blame them for things that I may have wanted or experienced that I wasn't able to have with them. So I was grateful just for the experiences that I was able to have. And thank God my mom is still with me, but meaning I've learned to give people grace, forgive. I'm glad I didn't have to deal with abuse and stuff like that. I'm very fortunate growing up, but some kids or adults still are holding on because they dealt with so much, and maybe their parents didn't protect them. There was alcoholism. You know, there was violence. So sometimes many people, it's hard for them to let go and forgive. But if you really want to be liberated, you have to. You have to clear your spirit first.

From this moment on, and for what remains of the balance of your life, make your commitment to excellence, remembering that it is your challenge to succeed. After all, you only have one life. Let's do something remarkable.

When you. As you get older, and I'm sure you can agree with me on this, you see how fragile life is. Friends, family members, people start dying. Suddenly you're looking at your friends and your peers, you're like, he's gone. Whoa. Just like that. Ailments, things happen. People die rapidly. We only have one shot at this thing, man.

Mm.

And why not shoot for full potential? And I'm that guy that I'm just gonna go for it. I'm not afraid to make a mistake. And I've learned you fail. Keep failing forward. Don't stay stagnant. Don't stay where you are. And I've learned not to be content. I'm grateful and blessed for where I'm at. But I want more, and I wanna do more. Because with more, I can help more people. I can change more lives, I can reach more people, I can work on myself. I can put myself around more successful people, and I can learn more, absorb more, and then pass those gems onto other people. I'm always trying to help my fellow actors, producers with information that I learn. Even if I'm not in their field. I'm around people that are telling me things. I'm like, I give them that idea, and they're like. I see them run off with it, and they're making incredible moves. Just help people and take action. Don't be afraid. The biggest thing I've learned that stops most of us from pursuing our goals, dreams, and aspirations. We're afraid to take a chance. And I just keep in my mind, do the thing you fear, and the death of fear is certain. Take action.

What are your top five book recommendations?

Okay. Number one, the Magic of Thinking Big, by Dr. Last name R. Schwartz. The Magic of Thinking Big. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

Personality plus because we, we have to learn how to deal with people. The four agreements. Sales books are really good too, man. It helps you get. Helps you become ambitious to seasons of life. Jim Rohn, any book. Jim Rohn, right? Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Have you ever read this book by Wayne Dwyer called Excuses Be Gone?

No.

Chris, Chris, Chris.

Do you feel like I'm making a lot of excuses?

No. No. This book is so powerful. Excuses Be Gone by Wayne Dwyer. Also he has another book. He has tons of books, Erroneous Zones, but that you could just listen to an audiobook. You'll call me and say, damn, you can't get 10 minutes to that thing before you start looking at yourself. It makes you 100% accountable. Excuses be gone by Wayne Dwyer. It's a six hour listen.

I have the velocity back up to 1:1. Yeah.

Excuses be Gone by Wayne Dwyer. Please take the time to apply what you learn in that book because it will absolutely change your life. I've had friends listen. I took friends on a little road trip and I'm playing it because I know they needed to hear what he was saying. And I'm listening and I'm looking like that and you just see them melting, like, oh, man. Because you know that they're their own worst enemy. They're making excuses for themselves. They're creating the issues in their own lives. And I'm like, get out of your own way, man. And I put on an audiobook because that's how much I love my friends. I'll play something and send it to them. And I know it's going to rub them the wrong way because it makes you self reflect. It makes you have 100% accountability for your life and where you are. Stop blaming others. Stop it. Be accountable. That book right there. I'm sorry, that one. I get excited.

Okay, Sean, you're on a cruise.

Oh.

And you're out in the middle of the ocean and the cruise, the boat hits a little bump and it kicks you off and you're in the ocean all by yourself. And you end up washing up on shore on this deserted island. What's the one book that you wish you had with you on the deserted island?

Oh, man. Probably one of probably David Goggins survival books. Because I love that guy, man. He's like, stay hard. I'm like this. I'm in a gym like this. This guy's a monster. David. Love this guy. Oh, man. What book it had to be one of his books. I have one of his audiobooks. I can't remember the exact name of it, but a survival book, you just, you have to learn how to be uncomfortable. You know what I mean? Learn how to live off the land. I haven't had that situation in my life yet, but I'm not afraid. I mean, you want to know how to survive in the wild. And sometimes when you're out here in this world, it can get wild. And you have to be able to preserve your sanity because sometimes people can drive you crazy. And that's where my faith comes in. And my good friends and people have the same value system and beliefs that you do. That has been a definite go to for me to have that support, to have like minded people who are only about lifting us up, not pulling you down, or not wanting to see you succeed and win.

So the big question, how did the Seasons of Life by Jim Rohn change your life?

Do the thing you fear, and the death of fear is certain. Seize the moment for every opportunity, for it shall never come to pass again because certain opportunities will never come again. And if you feel it in your heart that this is an opportunity that you need to take action on.

You better do it. Because that ship could set sail and you may not get that opportunity again. When you see someone that you know, that can, that you admire, that you know that they can give you an opportunity. Because everything that we want to have, doing, obtain is control through people. So if you see someone that you know that can open up those gates for you and they're in your proximity and you choose not to do anything, blame yourself. I've learned do the thing you fear. I call it the 10 second rule. You make eye contact. Look.

Hey, how you doing? Shawn Riggle. Nice to meet you. What's your name? That's me.

Anything else you want to talk about?

I just have the utmost gratitude to be able to just be here with you in this moment, breathing, healthy, to have a career. I just have gratitude because I know that I'm here on borrowed time. This is not my time. This is God's time. And I believe that we have to.

Not take time for granted.

We cannot take time for granted if we have opportunities to right certain wrongs. To make that phone call to that person that you may have hurt, or to tell that family member, friend, cousin, uncle, mother, father, while they're alive and breathing to say, I forgive you or I'm sorry and I'd like to see you. You may not want to see Me. But I just want you to know that I forgive or I'm sorry if I hurt you. I love you. I'm sorry that I wasn't the best version of myself. And if there's anything I can do to try to make this thing right, I'm here to work with you. And I'd love to sit down and talk. So many people, the ego. You know, they say ego is edging God out. Edging God out and being uncomfortable to be vulnerable. People don't understand that. There's strength and vulnerability. There's strength and vulnerability. Some of the best performances come with people who are comfortable in their own skin and they can just tell the truth.

And knowing that you're not going to be ridiculed or criticized for being open and honest and vulnerable. Because the world we live in, it teaches you to be tough, not to show emotion. And it's all good. Don't worry about it. Whatever it is what it is. Nah. Because you're still lingering with that pain inside because you didn't make amends. And the way that my father died was so beautiful. Even though he died from pancreatic cancer. But I was with him every moment of almost every day. Took him to every appointment that I could, was at his bedside. He dwindled down to like 98 pounds. But I didn't see his size. I saw his spirit. I saw the blessings that he gave me, the strength.

I'm so grateful for the challenges. I'm so grateful for the fights that I had. Because before he was dying, we were making amends. And I forgive you, Dad. I forgive you, son. And I love you. It feels so good to forgive. I wish more people would just let go because life is so short. He died at 74 years old. 73. 74. But man, like the last couple of years, he was my best friend who talk just to forgive and try to create experiences together. And when he died, it was a beautiful thing because I had no regrets. There's nothing that I would not have done for him. I did everything you could imagine. Someone that can't control their bowels. I did everything with no ill intention. That was my friend. That was my bottom. That was my dog. So I try to tell my friends that have fathers and mothers, man, let that go. If you got some problems and issues and they piss you off, forgive. Because once they're gone, you can't get that time back. You're going to be left with that inside of you that you didn't say those last words. You didn't try to clear your spirits, cleanse your soul by letting them know how you feel. If they don't want to listen, you at least tried. But so many people don't have the courage to just try.

And you just see generational trauma passing on and on and on because of ego, being afraid to be vulnerable. If you're a vulnerable man, it is the best therapy in the world. So I didn't have to go to a counselor. I get lost in the books and learning about vulnerability and being comfortable with saying, I'm sorry. I tried my best. I love you, Dad. I hope I made you proud. And he's on his dying, dying moment. He's looking at me like, I love you, son. And I swear to God, man, I held him so tight.

Took his last breath, and, man, he just smelled like a baby. It was the most incredible thing to see him transition. His eyes open, closed his mouth, closed his eyes, hugged him, kissed him. But then I'm like, God took him home and he's in no more pain. But he knows that. He gave me the discipline, the perseverance. He gave me the character to be the best version of myself. And I have no excuse not to win because with all of the challenges he went through as a kid, I didn't have to go through that. I didn't have to go through that. And he sacrificed. He was a good man. Missed him to death. And I just try to help my friends, man, if y' all got issues with your family and friends that you had fights with, that meant a lot to you, just say you're sorry. Say, can we just work this thing out? Be vulnerable. It doesn't make you weak.

What is. What is the thing you had to let go?

Was it the divorce?

It was hard. The divorce with my mom.

How old were you when they got divorced?

I was 16. 16 or 7. I was about. No, 4, maybe 15 years old.

The best age for a divorce to happen.

No, it was hard. I rebelled for a minute. That was really hard. That wasn't easy. And then accepting my mom, she started dating. She never got remarried, but she was dating this guy. But he was really a nice guy, and I was such a prick to him in the beginning, but then I started looking, liking him. Mr. Jesse, God bless him, he passed away, too, but that's hard. Yeah. But you know something?

I've just learned to let go and not blame. Don't blame. Just accept things. And try not to repeat that cycle in your own life. Have transparency and show love and empathy and don't take everything personal. Many times people are negative and rude and mean or just.

Distasteful in things that they may say or do because of their own pain that they're dealing with, and they don't have someone to help them get through it. So they're just, you know, I'm sure you have family members that just. Oh, God. Every time, you know, always a Debbie Downer.

And you're like, God, they're journeying. You can't wait to get. Exit their presence. Right. And I've learned with certain family members, just imagine being them, what they are dealing with every single day. Yeah. So then that makes me have empathy to say, you know what? Just kill them with kindness. Even when they're rude, kill them with love. Kill them with kindness.

And then just move on, man, and do the best you can to keep going on your path as long as you're not trying to hurt people, you know? Yeah, man. You had to go bring up. Yeah, man. Dad, he always brings the tears out of me because I was so lucky to just have that. That last six months that he was with me, man, that was my best friend. We talked about everything.

And to have that. That's so sacred to have a friend that you can just tell anything to and not be judged and know that you're loved unconditionally. Many people don't have those experiences. I feel that I'm richer than you could imagine.

So rich to have. I have incredible friends that love me unconditionally, and I love them unconditionally. And if I have an issue, they're there for my family and I'm there for their family. All they have to do is call, no matter what I'm doing, because they earn that position. And when you have that in your life, that's really all that matters. When you have people that really care and love you. Yeah.

You could probably make the argument that that's being rich.

That is rich. Yeah.

Yeah. Great stuff, man.

You made me cry, man. I don't know how that happened. Tears came down, man. I couldn't help it.

Well, I mean, I think. I think your. Your vulnerability and your message is going to help people. Like, I think a lot of people need that message, that it isn't easy. But, I mean, the thing you're just continually saying is you got to put yourself out there and you got to push in to, you know, the places that are uncomfortable.

Absolutely.

And that's what's hard for people. It's hard. Like it's, you know, it's easy for. For us to Say it. But it is hard and hard to suffer when inside, when you share your story, it inspires people.

Thank you, man. There's so much more to share, man. This. I know we're running out of time, but there's so much that with other books and other situations in life where it just. You say, how do you turn it around? Just having the right attitude can change everything. Having the right attitude in life and when certain people have a negative attitude and you wonder why their lives are the way that they are, the way that it is. Wrong attitude.

Yeah, it's good.

Okay.

I'm gonna give you a gift. This is my book. So this is actually two books. It's called I Am Leader. I think you'll like it, but it's. It's an experience, so don't open it until you get home.

But thank you, Chris. I appreciate it.

It's pretty fun.

I'm very.

Thank you. There's an online community in there, so when you open it, you can scan the QR code.

Okay. And we'll.

They'll give you access to the.

I am dying to open this up. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.

And you'll.

Thank you.

The thing you'll. Now that you've. Experienced the library, you'll kind of get the different influences because it's, you know, it's not a typical book.

We're not typical.

There's a lot of. There's a lot of influences in there. You might.

I'm. I'm. I'm sure I'm going to love it. And thank you very, very much.

I appreciate for doing this.

Come on. It's my pleasure. I hope we can do it again.

And seriously, anytime you're in la, if you want to just come read books, you're more than welcome.

Oh, let's do it. Let's do it. Absolutely.