Sabrina Soto On Books That Changed My Life & Outrageous Openness

This time on books. That changed my life. It's so funny here that everybody's got a shaman, like that's the new pastor.

You're not making great like that.

Wait, you have to tell us.

I didn't know that when you're in this journey, a person's not supposed to be kissing your neck.

I should have been happy with this great American life that on paper looked fantastic and I'm in Baha Fresh and I'm waiting in line. I don't belong here. I belong in a job where I get to work for myself and be creative every single day. I started acting as if I had a TV job and it was like I was training for a job that I didn't have yet.

Would you say that because you were doing those things your self esteem came up and then your energy changed 100%?

Because if you believe in yourself, even if shitty things happen, you're like, yeah, I'm going to get through this.

Most people are kind of living life on automatic pilot.

We just want to hold everything tight that we think it's the best we're going to get. I've done it forever with relationships. It's just utter, complete bullshit. There's people in my life that I am now realizing, oh my God, I am exhausted. After I leave, let's name em Betty, you're blocked.

All of the negative things that happen end up being validation for the way that I feel.

Imagine living your entire life under that spell.

You almost build a city around it and you justify it and it's a disaster.

Your life doesn't have to be a disaster to not be good enough for you.

But when you're a slave to it.

When you become slave stocking a box that everybody else has made for you, that's the problem.

So big question, how did outrageous openness change your life?

Welcome to the Syndicatex Library where we love books, especially books that have changed people's lives. We're joined today by a very special guest. She's a world famous interior designer, TV personality and podcaster, the host of her own show on Hulu and Amazon and she's working on a memoir. We're here to talk about the book that changed her life, Outrageous Openness by Tosha Silver.

We are so excited to announce the books that change my life website. We made a way for you to show your book pride and that you love books. Hats, tees, hoodies, check it out. Link in the description, everybody needs a self help hat. Please welcome Sabrina Soto.

What do you think this is like you're You're a character. I love it.

Analyze me.

Like, I'm not a therapist. I'm a designer. This place is insane. I love it.

Actually, being a designer is like being a therapist.

Yeah. Like a home therapist. I can tell you something.

You're. Yeah. And you're creating a feeling for them.

Well, hopefully their feeling comes from them, but I'm creating a safe space for them to be able to call it their sanctuary.

There's a lot of psychology in that.

I mean, I don't know if anybody should be taking any advice for me.

Why not? Don't you have a TV show?

Ask my mother.

It's always the most talented people that are like, yeah, yeah. I don't know that I know everything.

Well, I don't know anything. That's what makes it fun.

Yeah. That's probably what makes you so good too.

Thank you.

Well, so we're here to talk about outrageous openness.

Yes. But now I'm like, God, I should pick something else. I didn't realize you were such a character. I should have picked something real fucking weird.

Like what?

I don't know. But now I'm like, well, I mean.

It'S hard to pick one.

I know it is.

Like, when people turn the cards on me and they're like, well, what book change your life? I'm like, oh, there's a dozen. Like, where do you want me to start?

Well, this was your idea.

Oh, I know, but it's. You know, it's always easier to do it to other people than to yourself.

Right. Amen.

So what other books were on the list?

I mean, I love a lot of books on Law of Attraction because that whole concept's changed my life. But the secret, it just seems so. You know, spin there, done that. Like, everybody loves that book. But if I'm really thinking about it, like, that book really changed my life. Like, it wasn't the book that changed my life, but the concept. Because when I watched the documentary, because it was a documentary before the book, the next day, I found my HTV job on Craigslist. And had I not watched that documentary, that would have never happened.

In what sense? Like, what did that make you do that then?

So I watched the documentary at that time, it was 2006. You had to buy it for, like, $4.90. You had to watch it on the computer. And I watched it, and something. Something came over me. Like, I felt like I had known this concept before, and it was just. I was reminded. So I went to sleep that night, and I could. I Thought somebody rang the doorbell at 4 o' clock in the morning. I was married at the time and I woke up my then husband that somebody had rung the doorbell and of course he was like, go see who it is. We're divorced.

He sent you?

Yeah, of course.

I mean I love that.

Yeah. So by the time I got out of bed and realized nobody was there, I was up. So I went to the comp computer and I really wanted to be back on tv. And I went to the computer and I looked on Craigslist at 4 o' clock in the morning and there was an ad looking for a designer.

But this sounds way more like your ex husband was the one that inspired this. Not the secret.

Oh, oh, okay.

He got you to get up.

No, he was just lazy.

We could attribute his laziness to it.

No, please. Okay, so anyway, so I, I replied to that Advertisement and then 16 weeks later I was shooting my first HGTV show.

And so what is the lesson in that documentary?

Like when you put into the universe what you want to create and take inspired steps to get there, anything is possible. I truly believe that.

And where do most people miss that? The they don't put it into the universe or they don't think they're worthy to put it into the universe.

All of it. Self esteem for sure. Feeling like they're not worthy, not actually taking the steps, Speaking negatively, always complaining about the things that they don't have instead of focusing on the goodness in their life. You know, the, the little small changes that I make daily to create the life that I love, that I have now.

When you say human behavior, what fascinates you about that?

I think that we are more powerful than we give ourselves credit for. And words are magic. It's like your tongue is a magic wand. And we have the ability to create greatness in our life or chaos. And a lot of people choose chaos every day.

Why do you think?

I don't know. You'd have to ask them. I'm sure Childhood bs, I'm sure just negative programming that we are surrounded by like every day. You know, it's just I choose to have like rose colored blinders on.

Yeah, so you kind of create the perspective that you want.

Yeah, right. Like traffic for instance, on the way over here. I wasn't expecting it. We, I got stuck in traffic and I think a lot of people would be pissed and stressed. Of course I don't like to keep people waiting because I find that to be disrespectful. But instead I'm like, what can I do to make this a good time? So I got to call my sister, which I haven't been able to talk to her. Called my mom, and then I listened to an audiobook, so I made the best of it instead of, you know, cursing. Something I have no control over.

Yeah. That's great.

Thanks.

Okay.

A lot of notes.

Oh, yeah. We're gonna have some fun.

Am I gonna cry? I don't think so. Okay.

I mean, it's not our.

You're not Oprah.

No.

Okay.

We're gonna learn. I'm gonna learn.

Okay.

I mean, the goal here is to learn.

Great.

I mean, what's fun about this is I would have never come into contact with this book unless you would have chosen it.

Yeah.

Which happens a lot.

True.

And so it's great.

It's a. It's a wacky book. I mean, I don't think a lot of people know about it.

Yeah. And. And it's gonna. You know, it's gonna spark a fun conversation. I hope that's.

She's a character.

Tasha.

Tosha. Yeah.

Tosha. This book was written in or released in 2016, and it's kind of. It's essays. Right.

They're like short stories. You remember that book, Chicken Food? Chicken Soup for the Soul, I would say it's sort of like that where it's stories of her working with clients and the magic that happens when you release control, which I've had a problem with all of my life.

Releasing control?

Yeah, because I'm Cuban and Capricorn and I'm from New Jersey, so it's like the trifecta of shit.

What does Capricorn play into that?

It's very stubborn. Very, like, goal oriented. Very. Go, go, go. And having to have control of everything.

I'm a Capricorn.

You are?

Yeah.

When's your birthday?

January 13th.

Okay. You're a January one.

Little different. Am I less controlling or more controlling?

Pretending to know. I believe there's a little different in, like, January Capricorns. But, you know, aren't you a type, a kind of guy?

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, I'm very controlling.

Yeah. We should work on that. Not you. I'm not telling you. Like, we as a community.

Yeah. You can be my therapist and help me through it.

No, no, I've got enough jobs. I'm good. I got no room for you.

I think I've worked through some stuff. I don't know. There's always.

Book would be great for you. Really?

Where did you grow up?

Half in New Jersey half here in California, but I was born in Miami because I'm Cuban.

So you were born in Miami. And at what age do you go to New York?

Three.

Three?

Yeah.

What did your parents do?

My dad's in the news business, and my mom was a stay at home mom. Party planner, decorator. So I got to, like, make them both proud of my career.

So when you say news business, like a reporter.

He was, and then he was a producer for the Today show and Univision, Telemundo and the ap.

So is that why you would come back and forth?

That's why we moved around a lot, because of the different markets that he would work in.

How many times did you move when you were a kid?

I mean, probably four or five times. Not crazy, but, like, we did a big shift from New Jersey to California. Seventh grade. Sixth grade, actually. So it was a big, like, shift.

Do you remember being the new kid?

Yeah, but I thought I was gonna surf all day. Nobody tells you when you live in New Jersey that when you move to California, you're actually not gonna surf all day.

Not like the movies.

Yeah, no. I was like, I'm gonna surf. Which, by the way, we lived nowhere near the ocean. It took me.

You don't go to Disneyland every weekend?

No, I think I've been to Disney World and Disneyland twice.

So you move here and did you like it here in sixth, Seventh grade.

I mean, what's not to love about California, right? You're coming from New Jersey and, like, not the good New Jersey, like the Sopranos, New Jersey, you know, where Pizza Land is. Like that part of New Jersey.

You come to California and then what happens?

I mean, I go to school, and then my parents broke up and we got evicted from the house. So I went from living a very comfortable life to breaking into houses to get food because we had none. Which is ironic because we were evicted from the house and we're basically homeless. And then I make beautiful homes for a living now.

So. How old were you?

16, 17.

And dad just leaves?

Yeah.

Did you have siblings?

Yeah, a sister. She's two years older. She ended up moving in with her boyfriend at the time.

How did dad justify that?

I don't know, Dad.

I mean, if you ask him, it's a different story. Everyone's got their version of what happened.

What's his story?

I think he was under the impression that he was gonna take care of us, and it just didn't work out that way.

Was that hard to get over?

Oh, God. What? It's. I literally spent like half a million dollars in therapy?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

For half a million. Can you get over it?

Yeah, I'm totally fine now.

That's great. I'm still mad at him.

Yeah. It took a psilocybin journey and Hoffman, the Hoffman Institute, to get over it.

Tell me about the journey. Oh, God, it's so funny here that everybody's got a shaman. Like, that's the new pastor. Like, you gotta meet my shaman.

Yeah. I don't know if this guy was a shaman. I mean, that's another story.

Do not make me relive that.

Wait, you have to tell us that.

Well, I didn't know that when you're in this journey, you're not supposed to. The person's not supposed to be kissing your neck.

But. What.

But I.

Come on. When did you realize that that's not.

Telling people the story? I was like.

You thought, it comes with the journey.

I never done it with. No, I thought, wait, when you're.

When you. When you're in the journ, he starts kissing your neck. What are you thinking?

I was like, oh, this is weird.

But you just attribute it to part of the thing.

I was so out of my mind. I was like, this is weird, but, like, I guess this is part of the surface.

Was he recommended by somebody? And so do you go to his house or does he come to you?

He came to my house.

And then what is. What is the. Like, how does he.

He came to my house because I'm such a control freak that I didn't want to be in, like, somebody else's environment.

No, that's smart. Yeah, because context is everything.

Is everything.

No, you want to be comfortable.

Yes. And I'm so sensitive to my surroundings. I'm such an empath that I didn't want any reason for me to freak out. So I was in my own space. I'd never done psychedelic before. I thought I was going to die.

No, it's smart because you're controlling perspective. Except for the kissing the neck thing. It's a little weird, but the. The. The. The environment is really important because you carry that into the journey.

Yeah. But also, now, looking back, not as important as I thought because my eyes were closed the entire time. And you're so. Have you done it before? You're so, you know, in this world of getting information that you're not really worried about somebody kissing your neck or, you know, you're, like, in it. You're in this conversation with the universe. I felt like so I had a.

Friend that would always be like, you gotta do it. You would love it. You gotta do it, you gotta do it. And I was chicken. And so one day he goes, I'm coming over Saturday and we're doing it. So he comes over with his girlfriend. So. And then my chick is there and we all do it. But then very quickly I'm like, this sucks because I'm a host and I'm worried that they're comfortable and. And then I just wanted them to leave because I can't do this and worry about you being comfortable. And what happened is then that experience ended and I was like, okay, it's not as crazy as I thought it was. And also, like, oh, there's something to this. Like, this is special. Like, you almost feel like maybe there's something natural in it that does help you in a way.

Well, I agree with. That's why I wouldn't do ayahuasca or anything in a group setting. Because I. If I see somebody freaking out, I think I would get out of my head and try to fix or help that person.

Yeah.

But that's why I was happy to be doing it by myself, so I could be in my own thoughts. But what came out of it for me was seeing my parents for who they are and them doing the best they could given the information they had at the time in their lives. I mean, if I look back, they were in their 30s when this happened. You know, they had me in their early 20s, so. So not that it's an excuse, but there's empathy for their own journeys and there's forgiveness that comes with that.

It allows you to let it go.

Yeah, it allows me to see it differently as them. Perspective.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I then did it by myself and. Great, right? Yeah. But I listened to music. I would not want somebody kissing my neck to that point is when they were there, like, I was really worried about somebody else in my space. Because when you close your eyes, like, you want to feel safe.

What kind of music were you listening to?

I have a favorite. Have you ever heard of Nicholas Jar?

No. Nicholas Jar?

Yeah.

Okay.

Because it's not structured. So like classical music works, but it's a little intense. This is just less structured and free flowing.

Okay, I'm gonna.

So it's not imposing on you.

Yeah.

Like I can't watch TV or something with a strong beat. Music with a strong beat.

It's almost dark. Isn't it too much? Yeah, too much.

And I see colors.

Yes. Like, he started playing the her harmonica and it was so annoying. It was So I. I'd take the.

Kissing on the neck.

I think he took a break to play the harmonica.

So this guy. How does he. How does he.

It wasn't as.

How does he get in there and start kissing your neck?

He's on top of me, like. No, not like that. He's just, like, making sure I'm okay. He's like, playing different.

Instruments.

Well, I'm making sure you're okay, but I'm not.

He was a little closer, but he was just like. And I was crying a lot. I was crying a lot for, like, good three hours.

So he was just trying to help.

I think he was trying to help to make sure that I felt. Yeah.

Did not help.

I mean, it was fine.

Could you have done it alone?

No, no. I wouldn't have wanted to do that alone the first time.

Then that's good.

Yeah. It was talk therapy before that. So the intention was set. It was definitely something. It took me a while to, like, ramp up into, but I think it's amazing to me, it was an amazing experience.

Yeah. It's definitely, for me, unlocked other dimensions and perspectives.

What did you get out of it?

I've gotten a bunch out of it. Like, for a little while, I would do it once a month and I would have a question, and then every time I would get an answer.

Yeah.

And then one time I did it and I had the question. And then this voice in my head goes, hey, you know, just. By the way, you're the one answering the question. Just so you know. And then it ruined it.

Do you think it's our subconscious that's answering the question? Or do you believe that it could be our spirit guides? You know, whatever. Fill in the blank.

I think it's our subconscious.

You do?

I do for sure. Because everything changed after that one for me.

Like, in a bad way or in a.

No, very good way.

Like, do you think we're in a matrix?

Well, explain what a matrix means.

Like, meaning that we are. Like, everything is sort of programmed and that we're in charge of our own joystick. Of this game. Of video game of life.

No, I think that we control a lot of things, but there's a lot of things that we don't control. And to control them would take more energy than we have.

Like, worldly things.

No, like, just. Just say, for example, I go to Chicago in the winter.

And why would you do that?

People there like, hey, take me back to California. I can't do another winter here. And you're like, well, you could move, but I mean, really for them to move would be now not having childcare because their mom watches their kid or, you know, it's complicated. So could they change the weather? They could change the weather, but is it worth it in context to their life?

Right.

And so there's a lot of things that we can control, but there's a trade off.

Yeah.

And two things can be true at the same time. You control it, but you don't control it in the sense that the price you would pay to make that change maybe is sacrifice or creates another problem.

Right.

And so it's a. It's a. It's a dance.

Yeah, I think.

Do you agree with that?

Yeah.

It's not a straight line, but the stuff that matters, like showing up with, like a certain energy, working hard, having a good attitude, you know, kind of like you were alluding to controlling what's coming in, you know, how you connect with people. The stuff that really makes things go. You control.

True.

Like if you do the work, you know, put in the effort, have a great attitude, make people around you better, like, be reliable, do what you say you're gonna do.

Person of your word for agreements. Those are that one yet.

The book for agreements.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

But that's what matters, I think. That controls your destiny in a sense.

Yeah.

And it gives you equity. So when things don't go right, you have equity with relationships or, you know, maybe financially.

Right.

And you can weather a storm.

That's right.

But it's not a straight line. I don't think.

Never is. But that's what makes life so fun.

So when does this come into your life?

Oh, my gosh. I was going through a horrible breakup and I was reading a blog from a woman named Holly Whitaker, who is also an author. She wrote Quit Like a Woman, which was about the alcohol industry and how it relates to women. But she had written this blog about this breakup she was going through and how she did this bath to cut the cords and all this stuff. And she had mentioned this book that helped her release, you know, all this control. So I'd never heard of Tosha Silver before, and I picked it up and read it, and it really did help me with the little stories about letting go and how everything, when you really do release control to the universe, that your plans could even be smaller than what the universe has in store for you. And I just loved it. So I ended up reading another book of hers, it's not yout Money, I believe it's called and then Change Me Prayers. I ended up Talking to her, she was on my podcast. And I just, I love this book so much. I recommend it to a lot of friends.

Why do you think we struggle with letting go?

We as like me and you just.

I mean it's not an uncommon thing.

Because I think that we're taught that we have to choke things to death to make them happen. You know, we see all these movies and the guy who's at the office until midnight is the one who ends up making the money and being successful. And that's just not really how it works. And that sometimes letting go and letting the universe take charge and you doing the work of being high vibe, right without trying to get too woo, but like being in good high frequency and vibrating to whatever you want to attract to you is really our only job. And that's what I was doing when I found the Craigslist ad. What ended up happening was obviously they didn't call me that day, but I started acting as if I had a TV job. Even though I had no TV job, I had no agent, I had like nothing of the sort. But I started working out every day, I started looking at wardrobe to be on tv. I started taking care of myself, eating differently and it was like I was training for a job that I didn't have yet.

Would you say that that recipe is because you were doing those things, your self esteem came up and then your energy changed?

Yes, 100%. I, I can't speak for everybody. A lot of my friends, women especially have an issue with self esteem. We, you know, I think especially we might look a certain way on the outside, but inside, very self deprecating, very self loathing, that happens. I still deal with it, but I think the more I make micro changes in my life to feel better about myself when no one's looking, my whole life changes.

So how much do you understand the energy part of that? Because that part fascinates me in the sense that somebody with low self esteem has low energy and almost is closed off. Would you agree with that? Like it's kind of closed.

Well, when somebody has low self esteem, they don't think they're worthy, right? And then the way the self talk happens, it's like you're a piece of shit, you're a loser, nobody likes you, you're not gonna get that job. You're not. If you get the job, you're going to lose. It's like this loop constantly. And so when you're feeling that internally, externally, you are putting off a vibe, whether you believe in that kind of, like, stuff. It comes down to science, really. It's quantum physics. Everyone has the energy around them that they're exuding. Right. And they're giving off. So when you're constantly this negative person.

You'Re just. You're kind of like, not allowing anything in. Forget about people, that's one thing. But even opportunities, any even thing, like any happy accident that could happen to you during the day, you're just not even, like, there for it.

Yeah, it's closed.

Closed.

The other thing that we do, and I'm speaking about this from firsthand experience, is then all of the negative things that happen end up being validation for the way that I feel.

Yes.

So you find the negativity and then validate, oh, yeah, I'm not worth it, or no, nobody likes me, or whatever it is. Right. So that energy. So then when you start working out and paying attention to wardrobe and acting as if you start to feel better, and then you are attracting a different energy, but you're also projecting a more welcoming demeanor. Open.

Openness. I mean, even in dating in la, like, everyone said, there's no good guys in la, dating sucks. And then they go on these dates with these, you know, quote unquote losers, and then they're like, see, the guys in LA do suck. But it's like, well, no, you constantly are telling you that stuff, you know, to yourself. Then you're on Hinge and you swipe on the guy who has his shirt off and is wearing a Speedo, and then you go to like, what are you doing? Like, you're making. You're putting yourself in the situations to be able to be right.

Yeah.

I'm not saying that every guy who's wearing a Speedo and shirtless on Hinge is a bad guy. But I'm just saying maybe, like, not.

Well, if that's the guy that you keep swiping on and it keeps ending bad, maybe swipe on the guy with the chessboard in front of him or. Which guy?

Maybe a collared shirt on. You know, I don't know.

Collared shirt or a shirt.

Or a shirt. Let's start at a shirt.

Makes me think about this buddy of mine was asking me to take a picture of him with my dog.

So he looked like he had a dog. And he was.

Well, what was funny is he. I go, oh, you're putting that on your dating profile or whatever. And he was like, yeah, let me see your profile. Every picture was him with a different dog. And I go, bro, you look like.

You kidnapped dogs or Dog walker.

Either way, it's not good. Most people have one or two dogs in.

Yeah, he's perpetrating.

He was putting a lot of effort.

Into it, though, which is not genuine.

And my dog was arguably the cutest of all the. Everybody kidnapped dogs. He'd.

Dogs are the best.

Yeah. Do you have dogs?

I just lost her. Well, I say just. But it happened seven months ago, and I'm still not over it.

Oh, mine's getting. My favorite dog that I have is getting. She's like 13 and slowing down. And from the time you get them, you're already like, the day is going to come. It's the worst. They don't live long enough.

I know. It's like you. You sign up for a best friend that's going to die before you, but I hope your other dogs don't know that they're not your favorite. So maybe just keep that to yourself.

No, they know. Oh, there's no reason.

Have you lost a dog before?

First of all, she's the mom of two of them, so.

So she knows.

She's.

Have you lost a dog before?

Oh, yeah. I've had dogs since I was a kid.

I never. I didn't know it was going to be that bad.

That's the worst. I'm so sorry.

I was not normal. Like.

No, it's horrible.

I was going to. I was on my way to a pet cemetery. She wasn't there. I just wanted to be around other people who lost dogs so I could cry with them. That's crazy.

No, it's hard. It's really hard.

My sister was like, do not go to the pet cemetery. You're freaking weirdo. I still wish I would have went.

You gotta cope with it somehow.

I know.

That's the. I'm sorry that happened.

Thank you.

You know, I'm not crying.

I just have allergies.

You know, the. The hack for that is to get another one.

That's what everybody says. It's so rude.

I know, but it works. Your focus just goes like, think about the potty. Like, it just works. You go to work.

Zach is a fly, so I have her as a fly. That's another story.

You could. Yeah, yeah, it's fine. You could clone.

No, she's already dead. She has ashes. What, am I going to take the ashes and, like, put water on them?

I don't know. They do weird stuff now.

Maybe.

Possible.

I think it's too late.

What do you think about your relationship with God?

I was raised Catholic.

So in that sense, it's not the same. I would always. I always knew something was off for me there because every time I had to go to ccd, I would pretend to have a stomach ache, like, bad. And then.

What's ccd?

It's like a school. It's like a Bible study kind of thing.

Cataclysm.

Catechism. Yeah. And then the next thing I knew, I was in the hospital getting all these tests done because I always had stomachache. And I was like, no, I just didn't want to go to ccd, so I had to pay for that. But I don't like forced belief. I believe in spirit guides. I believe that there is sort of a little team out there for me. And I tell my daughter the same thing. Like, you have this little team who wants you to meditate and talk to them, but you could only talk to them when you are. You have, you know, you're quiet. And their whole job is to create the life that you love. But they don't understand English. So they don't understand no and yes. They only pay attention to what you're thinking about. So if you want to be able to be the best at soccer, just think that you're good at soccer. Don't think I don't want to lose. Because they don't. All they hear is lose. So I try to explain it to her in like, you know, for a nine year old, but I believe that as a 48 year old.

Do you see it as like a guardian angel?

But I don't think there's one.

How many? How many are there?

Well, in my, like, for me, I think there's like two or three.

Do you think I have two or three?

I don't know. I could ask them.

Do they talk back to you?

Well, I don't know if it's like talk. It's kind of like with neuron cilic and it's like downloaded information. So I. I have this and I don't know if I'm talking to myself, but I. I want to choose to not believe you.

Yeah, I get that. I don't think I understand it.

How are you with religion now, given your childhood?

That's a. It's a really complicated answer. Because in a sense, I think that the world's a better place if people live by Christian values. And a lot of people need that.

Right.

And then at the same time, it's a control mechanism. And I don't like that part of it.

Right.

And the more like, I remember when I was a kid in Mexico, these two boys That I played with that lived, like, down the street, who at the time, you could say they were my best friends. Abel and Cesar were their names. They were brothers. And my mom told me that they were going to go to hell and that I needed to pray for them. And I was like, no, mom, they believe in Jesus, but they were Catholic and we were Christian. And she, like, kind of explained to me that, you know, basically what she was explaining is they have a different monetary system. Like, yeah, the Catholics monetize in a different way. But to her, that was too blurry of a line. And I remember being so upset that they were going to go to hell.

That's awful.

Even though. And I would ask them, I'd be like, you believe in Jesus, right? Like, yeah, but, you know, Mary's in between.

When you go up there, you know, ask for him, like, by name so he can come get you.

And that's a very control. I don't know. I just. I feel like, you know, I think if we went to, like, the Middle east and they were explaining what they believe in, like, they believe that with their whole heart. And that's a very controlling religion, too.

But it's sad to me. I mean, parents are from Cuba, and if you're born after Castro took over and all you are is getting censored news media about Castro being amazing, then you believe Castro's amazing because you don't know anything else. And I find that. Imagine living your entire life under that spell.

My experience was very similar because from a very early age, I had a hard time connecting the dots with authority in the sense that adults would say to live your life this way, but they were all miserable and it didn't. Like, none of it added up. And then when you would ask, they would say, well, you're not supposed to question it. And God knows everything and he controls everything. And you're like, well, if it was real, I could question it and there would be an answer, right? Not, don't question it.

Right.

I have questions.

Right.

And I wasn't allowed to have questions. So that kind of, like, always made me feel like, okay, this is kind of horseshit.

Yeah, like horseshit. I love it.

Because real, real stuff. You will answer, yeah, or you will say, I don't know.

Or how about just being a good person because you want to be a good person? Like, I don't think I'm going to hell and I'm still a good person. So doesn't that make me, like, a saint?

Yeah. Another funny story. When my grandfather died he did not believe in. And I was very close to him. And I was a little sad thinking that maybe he went to hell. And I had this guy who worked for me at the time, who was Mormon, and he wrote me this beautiful letter saying I would see my grandfather again. And I asked him, I go, well, if you went to hell, how would I. And they believe that you can pray your family members up into heaven.

Good Lord.

And I was like, wow, there's so many. It's like playing Mario Brothers. It's like all these levels.

Good Lord.

And I'm. You know, it's like, who's making this? Who's writing this stuff?

That's a good question.

Yeah, but you can't ask that because. Well, you know, it's just kidding. It's confusing.

It's very confusing. So, I don't know, it's just stories, you know, they're just stories to fear people into being good, you know, abiding by rules.

Yeah. And a lot of guilt, a lot of shame. I don't know. I'm not a fan of the organized.

Like, if you don't have burning in hell forever as the, like, be all, end all, none of the other stuff works.

Right.

And burning in hell forever.

Yeah. And I mean, how long can you burn for? You know, it's like feet.

Like, I remember being a kid and being so afraid that I was going to hell.

Me too. I was afraid. I was afraid, too. But my. I have a few friends that are Baha', I, and I sort of love that they believe in all of the religions, you know.

Yeah. That's good. I guess. But I don't know.

I just try to be a good person.

Yeah. I mean, that's it.

Yeah. I don't think I am either.

No.

I'm not positive, but I'm positive you are.

I asked.

I love it. That's great. So let's talk about manifestation.

Yeah.

How you gave me the one example. Are there other examples of things you've manifested?

Everything. Everything in my life I've manifested just like you have. I mean, I think that what's crazy to me is when I have to be reminded. I'm glad that I told you about this book because it's been years since I've read it. I was reading it again and it was like, oh, yeah, that's right. And I think that it's. For me, I have to be reminded by different new thought teachers because the power is within me. So I've manifested my new show. I'm writing a book now. So I manifested my publisher. Oh, my gosh. This just happened the day before yesterday. I have on my shower door. It's glass. And you know those suction cups where people do, like, open and close for a store? So I have that. It's Lucite. And I have the things that I want to manifest in my life pictures. So while I'm shampooing and doing whatever I could see, like the.

They're on the other side of the glass.

Yeah. Just in my glass on the outside, but it's staring at me. And Penguin Random House was on this of when I was pitching my book. So when I got the. There was, like, an auction for the book rights, and one publisher won. Source Books. So I was like, okay. I was happy because I really love the team there. And it wasn't until the day before yesterday I realized that Penguin Random House actually owns them. But I'd written that on my shower door 10 months ago. It's wild.

And that's amazing.

Sorry. On that same vision board, I had, you know, amongst, like, love and a wedding dress and this. This ring, which is not a normal engagement ring, but I've always wanted it. And I got engaged in January, and he got me that ring. It's just an eternity ring that doesn't have a solitaire on it.

Weird or intentional?

Yeah. But magic to me.

So what do you think people are doing on the opposite end of that? Because I have kind of a understanding of it that most people are kind of living life on automatic pilot.

Yeah.

Like they're just reacting and externalizing things to luck or fate or God, and they're not intentional about what it is they're trying to do. What is your theory on that?

I just feel like it's a wasted life to me because I was there. I was in. I was doing mortgages at the time. I was making good money, especially for. I was 29 years old. I just got married to the guy who wouldn't get out of bed when the door opens. Bill rings. And we lived in a nice house, and I was making good money, and I was just married, and I should have been happy with this great American life that on paper, looked fantastic. But just like communism, it looks good on paper, but it doesn't work in real life. And I'm in Baja Fresh, and I'm waiting in line to get a burrito. And I. I just remember the feeling like it was yesterday. Like, I don't belong here. I don't belong here in a lunch rush waiting to get a chicken burrito with all with these people working in an office. I belong in a job where I get to work for myself and be creative every single day. And that was the night I watched the Secret, the Baja Fresh Day. Because I remember feeling like I need a change, and I don't know where it's gonna come from. And I didn't know anything about the Secret. My friend had just told me, you should watch this documentary. And I'm so grateful. Thank you, Erin. That she did. Because.

My whole life's changed.

Yeah. The Baja Fresh is a. Is an important part of that story.

Yeah, the Baja Fresh. I still love Baja Fresh. Nothing against Baja Fresh. They make a great chicken burrito.

Baja Fresh has been bought and sold too many times. It's kind of like.

No, it don't.

It has. I'm sorry. Last time I was in Baja, I was like, I can't do this anymore.

Really?

They just keep.

But at least they're toasted.

There was a time where it was great.

Yeah.

Okay.

Finally.

Let's do this.

You want me to. What do you want me to do with this?

I'm going to tell you a page.

Oh, okay. I brought my glasses.

Oh, yeah.

You guys should tell people that. What if I didn't bring it? I wouldn't.

Then I would read it for you.

Okay, thanks. What if I can't read?

Then you wouldn't be on a show called Books that Change My Life.

I'm guessing.

I don't know.

It would be funny if you got this far.

And right now you said, I can't read it for me. I would be happy.

Okay. What?

Page six.

Oh. Okay. The first flag.

Read that.

It's tempting to try to make a particular job, livelihood, or relationship our salvation. Then we quickly become the slave of whatever we grip the most. But when you make the divine your source, you move through life with ease and lightness. With an open hand, you allow whatever wishes to come, come, and whatever wishes to go, go. I was listening to this this morning on a hike.

Slave. You become a slave.

Slave.

Allowing whatever is supposed to come, come, and go, go is. I should get that tattooed if I ever get a tattoo. It's a long. It's going to be a long tattoo, probably. Where are we getting it all the way to?

I don't know. That's more like a billboard. This is Val.

But I wish.

What about it? Just, like, in the middle of your back or something.

In my back, you put a mirror. Oh, God. But that is so true. Because we just want to hold everything tight that we think it's the best we're going to get. I've done it forever with relationships, and it's just utter and complete bullshit. By the way, am I allowed to curse on this show? Because I've done it like four times.

We'll take care of it, okay? You build basically, in a sense, and this is. This is me imposing my experience on you. So tell me if I'm wrong, but you almost build a city around it and you justify it.

And it's a disaster.

I wouldn't say it does. Your life doesn't have to be a disaster to not be good enough for you. It doesn't have to be awful. It could be fine.

But when you're a slave to it, it's a disaster.

When you become stuck in a box that everybody else has made for you is the problem.

That's the problem. What society wants us to be.

Okay? So now, to me, the hard part of getting out of that is the faith that it takes to let go.

Yeah.

So walk me through that.

Okay. Like that whole thing of if you're on a vine, right, and you're going from tree to tree, you gotta let go of that back vine to get to the next vine, right? To keep moving forward. But everybody's afraid to let go of that vine. Or women, especially my friends, who they're in relationships with, like dating somebody. They're like, he's fine, not great. So I'm just gonna keep dating him until somebody else comes. It doesn't work that way. If you don't make room energetically in your life for another person to walk in, it's never going to happen. So you're going to be. You're going to stay with the speedo guy.

What's the speedo guy?

The guy from earlier. I was telling you, the guy who's.

Oh, this is a real story. No, no, you said shirtless. I didn't know Speedo.

He was in a Speedo too.

Oh, my gosh.

Check the tape.

Can you imagine?

All right, what's next?

Lucky 13. Page 13.

Actually, 13 is my lucky number.

Me too. I was born on the 13th.

Oh, well, I forgot. Yes. January 13th. That's right. The idea of past lives has always just made practical sense to me. How else can we explain why a person or place feels overwhelming familiar from the start?

I don't know if I believe in past lives. And I still can't get an answer from mediums because if there are past lives. But we're able to talk to the dead, right? If Uncle Bob is back on this earth is like, wait, you know Uncle Bob?

Then how can I talk to him up there if he's over here? Do you see what I'm saying?

Yeah, I. I struggle with that one too. And I have a lot of books in here that I've read about how to do that to people.

How to what? Speak to the dead?

Yeah, well, how to con people into it, basically. Oh, because it's a magic trick, Right? Like I have tons of books here on. On that.

It's just a magic trick.

Well, most of the time you end up doing research or having somebody that knows them that then tells you what to say. But it's Manufactured girl Caputo.

She's just walking around like getting her nails done and she's like, hey, your aunt says hi.

Yeah, but there's also the chance that it's not real.

Oh. Cause it's a television show.

Yeah, right.

Duh.

Aren't you on a television show? Yeah.

It'S all real.

It's ish.

Why do they say it's the magic of Hollywood?

Well, those are. That's movies.

So we. But to make a long story short, we don't believe in I'm on the fence. Yeah, until it. Until you have an experience that changes your mind, we don't know.

Right.

Yeah, that's kind of.

I've had mediums that have talked to my grandparents, but felt odd. I was like, you looked at my Instagram?

19. Lucky 19.

I remembered how life was indeed a weary road before I let the divine lead the way. I ran from one self styled master to the next with my problems. The combination of a delicate nervous system and a good dose of ADD made my life often derail. You didn't highlight that, but I did. I just kept going because I think I might have ADD too. I don't know why I brought that up, but.

Yeah, I think it goes back to having to be in charge of everything. It's exhausting and it doesn't work.

Is it? Isn't it also trying to live a life that appears to be a certain thing? Like I have to be in a relationship. I have to do the like instead of doing the thing that's actually authentic to you.

Do you know how much self esteem it takes to live that kind of life?

Yeah, but I mean, we were talking about self esteem. Self esteem is an important ingredient in this.

It's the number one ingredient.

Yeah.

Self esteem and feeling confident in not only yourself, but that the universe always has your back instead of the opposite of everyone's. Always out to get you that book right there.

It's called the six pillars of self esteem.

Yeah.

And he defines self esteem as the immune system of consciousness.

Thank you. Is this like something you give to people?

Yeah.

Oh, that's nice. Are you gonna give one to me?

Sure.

Should I read it?

It's great.

It is.

You know what I would say too is it's an incredible parenting book.

Really?

Because if you could raise a kid with high self esteem, they're pretty much covered in all the areas that are important. Right.

I couldn't agree. Do you have kids?

No.

You should.

Should.

But did you hear the definition? Self esteem is the immune system of consciousness.

The immune system of consciousness.

So in every moment that you exist, whatever your self esteem is, is going to determine how you perceive that moment.

I love that.

It's. It's incredible. That book is incredible. He wrote a bunch of books on self esteem. You can say, like most of his life he studied self esteem. That's like all of the books kind of summarized in one.

I'll read it and then I'll come back here and we'll talk about it.

Oh, I would love. I'll bring my copy of that. The highlights.

Oh, a lot of highlights.

And I have a hard, hard cover, but I started with that and it's like the cover's almost falling off. I've looked at it so much.

Okay, I'm gonna read it.

It's so good.

I'm gonna read it.

But would you agree with. Would you agree with that?

Have it on camera. You gave it to me.

Would you agree with that?

Yes, I do.

That it's the immune system of consciousness.

Yeah. Because if you believe in yourself, even if shitty things happen, you're like, yeah, I'm gonna get through this. It's fine.

And the good news is you can create high self esteem in yourself by. You gave a good example earlier. You know, putting in the work, starting to act in the way of the kind of trajectory you want to treating yourself better.

Yes. And so when I don't tell you this story. So when I got the first job on hgtv, like, I had no business doing that show. If I'm being really honest. I've never really told the story, but when I over inflated my resume like most people do, but most people don't have a camera crew behind them trying to prove like, okay, go paint that room. Like, wait, what? I don't know how to paint. And that night I was freaked out. Like, I had no business teaching people how to regrout Tile I'd never done that before. So I lived in D.C. at the time and that's where we shot the show. And that night I went to this bookstore called Books a Million. I think it's still there in Dupont Circle. And I got every book I can get my hands on, like carpentry, DIY design. And every night I would take myself out to dinner and just read until I fell asleep. And I'd have these books, notebooks of just tips of like how I could teach myself. So then I would go into work and the show was really about real estate, had nothing to do with tips. But I was adamant that I was gonna teach the audience because I was actually teaching myself. And the show became when the top five primetime shows on the network at the time because of those tips. So. But it's. The only reason is because I didn't know what I was doing. Isn't that wild?

It's amazing.

It's crazy. So like the fake it till you make it is good, but you gotta do the work after you make it.

Yeah. But you respect yourself more when you do the work.

Yes.

Which is the self esteem part too is like you gotta put in the work. You gotta, you gotta take yourself seriously.

Yes.

You gotta treat yourself like you're important.

Yes.

And working out, the coffee you make for yourself, the environment you're in, all of that adds to your self esteem and your home.

Your home.

And you can't lie to your subconscious. Like if you treat yourself terribly, your subconscious knows that you don't care about yourself, which lowers your energy and your self esteem.

I've been on a sober, curious journey for years now. And you know, alcohol as we know, is everywhere. But every time I would drink, I just wouldn't feel good. I couldn't sleep. I was like, especially with my hormones. And even though I would partake with my friends a few glasses of wine, I kind of felt like shit. And I'm like, why am I doing this to myself? Something as small as just having a few glasses of wine with my friends started to really erode my self esteem. So it doesn't for everyone, it's different. But even people's homes, I find that like, I find it fascinating where people are high powered, really successful in some way. But then they come home and their place is an utter mess. It's disgusting, it's cluttered. That's not, that's not wealth. You should come home to a sanctuary in your, your home too. Or like in your life.

Yeah, well, I think the thing too, you're saying there about the wine is when you don't listen to yourself, you're not respecting yourself.

Right?

Like you gotta listen to yourself like there, if you really pay attention, it's there.

It's always there.

Yeah, but that's self esteem too is like not trying to appear, you know, a certain way to the outside world in betrayal of yourself.

And we do it every day and we don't even notice because it doesn't seem that dire. Right. So going to grab a glass of wine with my friends and they're like, just have a glass. I'm like, okay, because they want me to. Because they want me to participate is a lot easier than being like, no, I'll just have a sparkling water. And then comes the you this. Why this? Come on. Whatever. It's like it takes a little bit more guts to say no because you are being true to yourself.

Okay, I like this one. 34.

While divine order says the perfect whatever is always picked and you will be guided to it if you align yourself. Divine source reminds that everything emanates from the One. If you know how to keep your vibration high and attuned to the ultimate origin of all, whatever is needed can always occur. That's what we were talking about earlier, the vibration high which is connected to.

Self esteem, isn't it?

Yes, but like we're in la, so when people are talking about high vibes, it's. It seems so lame, but it's.

I'm not talking about that one. I think it's. It's more to do with being honest and then treating yourself in a, in a way that matters and going after things that are of importance or meaningful in a sense and that changes your vibration. And then it's open versus closed.

When you treat yourself well, when you are kind to yourself and you treat yourself like you matter, right? With the things that you watch, the things that you listen to, the things that you eat, the things that you drink, the way that you move your body then attract better opportunities, better people in your life. And little by little you just keep climbing this ladder of happiness.

Yeah, it's really hard to be around high energy people when you're low energy. And it's the same in reverse, right?

Yes.

So you attract kind of like you're saying you attract what you are in the end.

Like attracts like. It's a frequency. It is what? Like you attract the people that are in your same frequency. And it's not necessarily high energy or low energy. It's positive and negative.

Now for me, in my Experience. The part that messed me up is being an empath and feeling things so deeply and being around low energy people. Always felt like I was in a reverse equity mortgage, in a sense.

Yeah. And then you feel depleted. It's energy vampire.

And so then you overreact and you're like, oh, I need boundaries. No, you need to be around different people.

Correct.

You need to change. You need to change your. Your location a hundred. It's not about boundaries. That's just boundaries. Yeah, like, that never worked for me either. It's like, no, you have boundaries with people that are still who they are. Like, it isn't going to fix anything. It's just more work.

Do you know who Robin Sharma is? Sharma. Robin Sharma. So he talks about this a lot in his teachings and his books, like Energy, Energy Vampires. And like, pay attention to the way that you feel when you walk away from somebody. And when you're with them, if you feel depleted, like, that means something. And I have, you know, if we're being honest, like, there's people in my life that I am now realizing, oh, my God, I am exhausted. After I leave, let's name them.

Betty. You're blocked.

But, you know, and it's okay for people to change their relationship to you in different parts of your life too.

Yeah, but for, like, me feeling things very deeply. The other pattern that I would get into was I would try to fix people that didn't want to be fixed.

Yeah. It's exhausting.

And you just, like, I believe, like, I want it so bad for you and you really could give a shit less.

Yeah.

But I believe that you could be better. You could do better and.

But it doesn't matter what you think.

No. And again, you got to change your location. Like, you gotta. You gotta. You gotta put that energy into people that actually want to get better. Or then it's a collaboration. You learn from them.

Or let people live too. Because I was the fixer for so long. And this 2025 is me staying in my lane. Beep, beep. You know you want to go jump off a cliff.

I hope you have a parachute.

You don't mean that. Kinda.

42.

Okay.

If you say to God, this is terrible, God says, terrible, you haven't seen anything. And if you say this is good, God says good. You haven't seen. It's old Jewish joke. Yeah, it's true. It's your perspective. You don't have to tell me the page numbers. You have tabs. So I'll just keep going down tabs. Unless you Want to skip?

Yeah, Skip. Go to 63.

Maybe when you no longer need anything, you can have everything. And when you stop trying to make things happen, anything can.

It's so true.

Yeah.

And that's. I mean, that's needing validation of a relationship. It's needing to appear successful, it's needing to be liked. Like all of that.

I met my fiance when I wasn't looking for love. I went to Greece and I fell the second day there. I thought I was going to find love of my life in Greece and I fell. But bad. Like when I say bad. I'll show you the picture. The black guy was atrocious. So the rest of the time I was in Greece, I'm like, I'm never going to meet anyone looking like this. I look like I was in a bar fight and I ended up meeting someone. My self esteem went through the roof because I'm like, if I can attract somebody looking like this, wait till I heal.

And my girlfriend jokes, she was like. It was like shallow hell, but the opposite. Like, I thought I was the hottest thing after I hit my head and something happened. When I got home from that trip, I just realized like all the love, you know, the looking for love in all the wrong places, all the love that I was looking for elsewhere really was inside of me. And when I cultivated that, then I was fine being single. And then I didn't have to be single very often, like for much longer.

Yeah.

What about139? You don't have to know how to open the door yourself, but you might want to undo the deadbolt or two.

But you do have to take steps in the right direction and start treating yourself in a way that matters.

What do you think in your life you could, like something that may be a habit or a thought process that maybe you could do without.

That I could do without?

Yeah. Like something that's holding you back.

I'm too patient.

Too patient?

Yeah.

How so?

Well, like, I have a pretty clear idea of the way I want my day to go, my week to go, my year to go. But then I spend all my time doing stuff for other people that like. And I pay people a lot of money to do their job, but then I end up doing their job in a way. Oh, like I need to.

I would use another word for that.

What would you say?

Pushover.

Yeah, I'm on the fence to that. I'm better, but I still have a little bit of work to do there.

Do you think you're a people pleaser? A lot of p Words.

Oh, sure.

Oh, maybe you should go to Hoffman Institute.

I don't know what it is.

Oh, it's amazing.

How long does it take?

Seven days. But it's like 15 years of therapy in seven days.

Really?

Yeah.

Where is it?

There's one up north in California. There's one in Connecticut.

Give me the info.

Yeah. Yeah. So you don't have a phone, no working out, no music, obviously. No sex, no alcohol, no smoking for a week.

You can do it for a week?

Yeah.

I like myself. I can do that.

I mean, I like you, too. Yeah?

Yeah. I've never had a problem liking myself, so, like, the love yourself thing. I'm always kind of like, I'm not so great. I like myself, but I don't need to love myself, like, too much.

Oh, it's too much.

Then I break up with myself. Like. Like I want to get better.

Yeah.

Whatever he does, I feel like if I like myself and I'm, you know, rooting for myself, that's probably the best angle.

Do you ever, like, look at yourself and be like, you're awesome?

Maybe sometimes. But I don't really need that. No, I don't feel like.

Does your girlfriend tell you you're awesome?

Yeah, sometimes, but I tell her she's awesome. She is awesome. But I don't know. The. The great thing about our thing is, like, we don't have to talk. Like, I don't know. We're just comfortable.

That's the best kind of relationship.

I don't like relationships where somebody has to fill it with noise.

You want me to be quiet?

No, but you know what I'm saying, Like, I'm sure you have a girlfriend that just, like.

How do you know?

Because I have that friend, too. Like, just. It's like, you can just sit. It's okay.

There's a whole thing. I could. I could talk about that for an hour, but I think it's the same people who can't. Who have to be scrolling constantly.

What's. Trauma?

Yeah.

Yeah. They can't be quiet. Yeah.

It's in those quiet moments where magic happens. Sense. Yeah.

I love to daydream. I love to think, like, I'm. I'm in here a lot.

Yeah.

And I like it.

It's fun up there.

Yeah. You got all kinds of options. You can go and then come back and do it again in different ways. Yeah.

I love it. It's. Do you meditate?

So tm.

Oh, I did the. I did the whole thing.

I learned a lot from tm.

What did you learn? You tell me your mantra.

You're not supposed to do that.

I'm not kidding. That was me testing it for $1,500, I'll tell you.

So my experience was I was going through a divorce, and I started getting bloody noses and ending up in the hospital. And my personal doctor said, oh, you would have had a stroke if you didn't have a deviated septum.

So he put me on this blood pressure medicine. The blood pressure medicine made me feel like I was fainting. And so I said, hey, this stuff makes me feel like I'm fainting. He goes, well, just squeeze the chair. I'm like, huh? And I'm like, well, how long am I gonna be on this? He's like, forever. I'm like, I don't know. So I heard on Howard Stern, of all places, that that helps with that, and I did some research. So I went and did it six months later, sitting in the doctor's office, and he goes, you can stop taking it, you know? And I said, yeah, it's tm. And he goes, yeah. I was at a conference, and I was hearing how meditation helps with high blood pressure and this and that. And I go, would you ever tell clients? And he's like, no. Yeah, because you've got to prescribe. Yeah. So that was 20 minutes. That's how I got there in the morning, morning, and then afternoon.

You do it every day?

Twice a day. I don't. I'm not as committed now, although I do feel like I need to go back to it.

Same.

But I come and go, but it's always there, and I can always pull up the mantra. Like, say, for example, I'm in an elevator and I get really claustrophobic. I can do my mantra, and I can survive that.

Just. I did an MRI the day before yesterday.

Oh.

Never done one before.

You didn't take?

No, because I had to do another test afterwards, so I couldn't take a sedative. The only thing that saved me was my mantra.

Yeah.

What if we all have the same mantra and it's all just.

We don't. I know. There's a chart. You can pull it up online.

You can actually.

Wouldn't that be funny?

You can find people's mantra.

Everybody just had the same one.

Yeah. It's a. It's a great little thing, though. But. Yeah, But I think what I. What I learned is being more in tune with my subconscious and more aligned, which is an odd outcome, but that's how I. I feel like it affected me.

How long ago did you learn, like.

Maybe 15 years ago?

Oh, you're old school.

Yeah.

Good for you.

It's a great thing. Like, anybody I. I tell to go do it, or I've paid for people to go do it, they always come back and they're like, why doesn't everybody do this?

And I'm like, generous.

Yeah.

That's great. When you go to heaven, remind them.

Yeah. They'll be.

If you do. If you go.

My name will be on the list when I get there.

All right, next one.

Yeah.

I've been thinking about how following signs and omens is so central to my life. Since we're all part of a living, breathing, conscious universe, why wouldn't it speak to us and give direction? It does. Don't you get signs all the time?

Yeah. And I think, too, like, back to what we were talking about is you kind of know, if you listen, you kind of know you can tell when something isn't in. In alignment.

But haven't you ever gotten, like, psychic signs?

I can't think of. Tell me your psychic signs.

Oh, it's scandalous.

Let's hear it.

I was with somebody. I was dating somebody. And I was traveling for work, and something out, like, came over me. I don't. I can't explain it. I was in my hotel room, and it said, turn on the surveillance camera.

And I turned it on live, and it was. Nothing was happening on the camera. Nothing. Nothing scandalous was happening. And I went to go turn off. Cause I'm like, this is boring. And I went to go turn off, and something came over me and said, don't turn it off. Just keep watching. And all of a sudden, that was the end of that relationship. Like, minutes later, what I needed to see came onto the screen.

Him with somebody else, him doing something.

He shouldn't have been doing. And I can't. There was no reason for me to watch any of that.

Yeah. So, I mean, I think there's probably two ways to get to that conclusion. Well, I think you probably had signs in your subconscious, had signs that something was out of whack anyways.

Yeah.

And so.

But why live? I could see seeing something recorded, but live, That's a little different, you know?

It is.

Yeah. Had I not turned it on at that moment, I would have never seen that thing happen. It's weird.

I'm open to it.

I.

If I could tap into it, I would. I would love to bet on the Super Bowl.

I can find. Just kidding.

Who's gonna win the Super Bowl?

I don't even Know who's playing.

It's funny.

It hasn't even started yet.

Well, no, but the season's starting. Who's gonna win this year? Because the best odds are right now.

Not a sporty person.

So, big question. How did outrageous openness change your life?

Giving up the need to control everything has opened my life to miracles.

It's a great answer.

I know. I just came up with that right now.

You're good on the spot.

Thanks.

It's great.

When am I coming back?

Whenever you want.

Well, I'll. Let me finish this.

That book's incredible.

Oh, my God. That's a lot of words. Just a little tiny words.

It's an easy read.

Easy read once you start. Okay.

Well, I don't know. It was for me.

I'll read it after I finish my book.

It's hard when you're writing a book to read anything else.

Yeah.

Because it'll influence you. Right. You gotta be careful. Don't get you sidetracked.

Yeah. And then I think everything I'm writing now is garbage.

And when you're 90% finished with your book, you're halfway finished.

Oh, yeah, I already kind of finished it. And I'm rereading it. I'm like, this is utter garbage. Just.

But if you got the first draft done, that's the hardest part.

I let my mom read it.

What did she say?

Well, she was like, oh, I guess I'm a loser.

Mom. I just want you to check it for typos.

That's exactly what she has.

She has a different perspective.

No, she knew it was right. I was like, well, it happened. No.

That's funny.

Thank God. Well, thanks for having me.

Yeah. I can't wait to read it.

Thank you.

When is it coming out?

January of 2027. So we have a little bit of time.

Yeah, we'd love to have you back. I could talk to you all day.

Thank you guys for having me. Thank you. That was awesome.

We are so excited to announce the books that change Change My Life website. We made a way for you to show your book pride and that you love books. Hats, tees, hoodies. Check it out. Link in the description. Everybody needs a self help hat.