Self-Care Part 4: A Game-Changing Secret (Service Drive Revolution Drive By)

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Welcome everybody to service Drive Revolution in your Friday drive by. Please say hello to Christian Lafferty, who is having more fun than you are.

There's no doubt about that. It pretty much doesn't matter. I'm always having fun.

He is having more fun. So we are continuing our series here on self care. We're talking about number four today. Number four is psychology. And how does psychology apply to your self care? And so the first thing that I would say about the psychology of self care is that you need to understand the definition of it. And I think most people perceive this incorrectly. So I think a lot of people think that psychology is something that happens to you.

It's external.

So they think they. Oh, you go to a psychologist or a shrink, right? We've, we've known people that are addicted to going to their shrink. And so then when you are looking for a psychologist to help you, then they're kind of in charge. What we're going to talk about today and that can be okay if that's where you're at or you need that. But what we're going to talk about, about today is how you can be in charge of your psychology, not somebody else. We're not delegating it to somebody else. We're not leaving it to chance. It's not something that's going to happen to us. It's something that we're going to grab and we're going to make happen. Does that make sense?

Makes the most sense.

And so it, as much as this story has been told, it's still one of my favorite stories. It's got to be one of Christian's favorite stories because he got a tattoo of it on his back. Is the story of the two wolves. And the story of the two wolves to goes something like there was this, this Indian chief and he was talking to his grandson and telling his grandson a story of the two wolves. And he, and he said, little Christian. You think the Indian's name was Christian? What would be an Indian name for Christian?

Oh.

Wow, I don't know. Something with shoes.

Little Luigi.

Yeah, little Luigi.

Little Luigi, the little Indian Luigi. You have two wolves inside of you and one is evil and jealousy and strife and tension and hating your job and hating your friends and hating your life. And then there's another wolf that's fair and fun and balanced and exciting and learning new things and growing and constantly getting better. And they're both fighting. They're fighting. And the little Luigi says, grandpa, Grandpa, which, which wolf wins the fight? And Grandpa says, the One you feed.

And so that's really what this is about is you have to practice how you think. You can't be a victim of how you think.

You.

If your thinking is just reactionary to your circumstances, that's not really thinking we want to practice. So if we practice thinking positively, if we practice thinking that things are an opportunity instead of a challenge, if we practice that, we are going to come out ahead eventually. But we don't expect things to be easy. Now we're practicing the right psychology, but it's practice. It's the one you feed. Right. You're constantly feeding one of the two wolves. And everything you do. Now, what you'll notice very quickly is if you start practicing thinking positively, what is it you think, Christian, that you notice right away?

Well, I think there's two things. One is you notice that the positivity attracts itself to you. And then you also notice when people are not positive and it sticks out like a sore thumb.

And so then what do you want to do?

Avoid negative. Like it's the plague.

Yeah. And so very good. Like you're going to attract positive things. If you're thinking about positive things. It's that, that analogy of your. What is it called?

Your ras Reticular activating system.

Yeah. And so like, let's say I want to buy a Porsche Carrera, and so I'm thinking about buying a Porsche Carrera. So now all of a sudden I constantly, everywhere I go, I start seeing Porsche Carre. It's because it's what I'm thinking about. And so I will notice more of what I'm thinking about. It's happened to all of us. And that's exactly what happens when you start thinking about positive things is you start to attract and notice positive things. And then you start to see your friends or co workers that aren't positive, that are miserable, and you kind of try to work away from that and you'll attract new friends.

And it reminds me of this friend that I've got that I went and visited a couple of weeks ago. I was sitting on his couch and he's like, man, my wife left me because I'm insecure. And then she walked in, he's like, oh, wait, she just went to get groceries.

You know, for a second, I didn't think you were telling a joke.

I got you.

You caught me. I thought you were. I thought you were being. You were being serious. So a couple things here that you want to think about when you're talking about your psychology is you need to have Boundaries. This is something I think I learned way too late in life. But there are psychopaths out there. There are people out there that are going to say one thing to you and mean something else. There are people that are going to tell you that you did something that you never did. They're going to gaslight you. You have to have boundaries of what you're willing to accept from, from other people, especially in friends. Like, you have to have a certain standard for yourself and, and boundaries. You can't get walked on. You can't be the one that does everything for everybody else. But you also don't want to keep score. It's not like you're keeping score with your friends. But when things become toxic, you need to move on. You need to notice when things are toxic, if that makes sense. And you need to. You need to spend time working on this. You need to, like, you know, once a day, sit for 10 minutes and go through the things you're grateful for and then think about the positive things that are going to come from that. So if you start from a mindset of gratitude and all the things that are good in your life and you really concentrate on those and you're grateful for them, you'll attract more things. But most of the time what we do is we watch the news, which is super negative. So you're watching Fox or CNN and it's the crisis. And you got. You have to understand that the formula for every movie, every news show is, is not, you know, news isn't about journalism. The formula is time is running out, everything is at stake, and chances of success are very small. That's the formula for every news show to keep you watching the. Through the commercials into the next break. And they want to get in your head, so you got to eliminate that sort of stuff. And if that's the stuff that's in your head, it's going to attract more drama, more. Everything is at stake, more time is running out, and chances of success are nil. And then you're going to walk around depressed, thinking that chances of success aren't very good because all of these things that are out of your control, that you have nothing to do with or in your subconscious just poking at you constantly. Don't watch the news, don't engage in that early in the morning. Go through what you're grateful for. Concentrate on that and visualize yourself attracting more of that and stay away from all the negativity.

That's great. Yeah. I think that that's the thing with the wolf story. Is that you can't just give the wolf one meal. You have to put the wolf on a really healthy diet. Three squares a day. It can't just be a one shot deal because it won't. But it won't fix it. Right. But if you are constantly making that effort for positivity, you won't want to watch the news. Like, that's the thing. You and I joke about that all the time. We don't watch the news. Like, what does it have for us? Nothing really. So getting around the right people and working on that psychology in yourself is. That's a big one. That's a huge pillar.

Yeah. The other thing I see that is worse than fear of failure in people is fear of success. So you need to acknowledge fear of success if you're starting to think about positive things and then good things start to happen to you and you feel uncomfortable with good things happening. That's fear of success. And it's more dangerous than fear of failure. Think about the example of if somebody gives you a compliment and you feel uncomfortable taking a compliment and you feel like, oh, if I'm taking a compliment, I'm not humble anymore. Instead of acknowledging the compliment and being grateful for it, then that's a fear of success in a lot of ways. So you train yourself, how you think, how you react. Psychology isn't happening to you. You're taking control of it and you're training your mind how to perceive things and you're sharpening that knife that you're thinking about positive things and good things and that's where your focus will go and, and you'll attract more. So little food for thought going into the weekend. And do us a favor, stay tuned for a preview of the big show, Service drive Revolution coming up. And we'll see you next time on Service Drive revolution.

Next week on Service Drive Revolution, we have a celebrity to us, a celebrity interview. I have a couple things to talk about right off the top here that I have to get off my chest. Let's talk about the psychological warfare you have been raining down here at the office.

Let's just say that I stopped by the dollar store and I emptied my wallet.

She's like a cheap, cheap hussy, I guess we'll say. Or a stripper because she wears body glitter. Like you feel like you're in Sunday service in, like the south. But, well, Christian will win.

Bring on the glitter.

What about me? Like, like, I can't. I don't have the opportunity to win.

What about Russo's calves?

Yeah, the size of a truck. I know I would just be pumping.

Yeah. But what I think happened was is that that I did. That's awesome.

We have to die from not being able to breathe. I'm a Capricorn. How what does that say about me?

I don't know.

I just know that Geminis are possibly.

The funniest people on the planet. Geminis definitely are the gemini. Geminis for sure. 100.

Are you a Gemini, Christian?

Yes, I am.

Thanks for watching this week's Drive By. I hope we gave you something to think about over the weekend. We're uploading new stuff every day, so make sure you subscribe and click the bell icon so you don't miss out. If you have a question you'd like us to answer on the show, call 8333 Ask SDR and we'll answer your question on the show. That's 8333 Ask SDR. For special deals on our books and training, head over to offers.chriscollinsinc.com now that's offers.chriscollinsInc.com I'm Chris Collins, and I'll see you in the next video.