Chris Collins and a co-host argue that genuine curiosity and active listening are what separate good leaders from great ones. They show how sincere compliments, follow-up questions, and refusing to accept one-word answers can unlock what people actually think. A real example from advisor training demonstrates the technique in action.
One of the things I think you do that's really helpful, which is a good lesson for leaders, is the way that you do a follow up question. Right. So I think that that's a skill. Maybe it's been natural for you. Maybe you've always done it, but you'll ask someone a question and they give you the response. Then you ask a follow up question based on the information they gave you, which then makes the person think that, oh, he listened to what I'm saying. And then by the third question you're getting really, really deep stuff. Whereas I think a lot of people are just kind of like, hey, how are the kids? And then they stop. They don't say the follow up questions.
Yeah, I would say step two or three is you need to validate.
And I saw that when I was in an advisor, you know, because when I was asked to do advisor training, I paid attention to what I was doing. And then I literally would stand in the drive and watch the lowest performing advisor we had. And.
Most of my conversations were.
About, well, I would look to find something that I could compliment them on. So whether it was the car they had or the outfit they had or the wheels or the sticker, something I could always find something to say like, oh, I really, I really love the color. Or you know, it would have to be genuine. Like I would look for something I was genuinely going to compliment, I wasn't making it up. And then that would break the ice. And then I would say, well, where are you headed today? And then, you know, most of the time it was work, right. Or kids or something. And then I would ask about that and then you validate whatever it is. So if they say like, oh, I'm going to work, well, where do you work? I work at Microsoft. Oh my God, that must be exciting. Like Microsoft's growing like crazy, you know. Oh, it is crazy. Blah, blah, blah. So how long have you been there? And then you just, you keep going. And the other thing is, is when people give you a one word answer, I didn't stop.
So if you say like, how you doing today? Fine. Most advisors are like, oh, he doesn't want to talk or he's in a hurry or whatever, I'd be like.
Where are you headed today? Oh, what do you do? Like, I wouldn't give up on, on it.
Yeah. Sometimes you can't knock the wall down with one punch.
Right? Yeah, that's a good, that's a good way to put it. So it's kind of like I'm genuinely Curious about people, I think.
Yeah. There's no doubt about this Mess up.
You were going to segue into a joke.
Segue into a joke either way. But that was a really good point. Right. Is that that natural curiosity, I think, is what's taken you quite a ways.
Yeah. I'm not looking to impose my will so much on people. And often, often I.
Have conversations with people and after I'm like, shut up. Like, shut up. That's the conversation inside my head to myself.
Just let them talk.
Yeah, like, nobody cares. Nobody cares about your childhood or your. That you played soccer, that you went to Chicago to see art or. Or be the metal bean, that you went to the, you know, Morgan Wyland concert. Did we talk about that on the show?
I don't think so.
How amazing was that?
Best concert I've ever been to. Yeah, I was like. I was like a 13 year old.
How long ago did I get those tickets? Like four months ago.
Yeah.
And I think the day they announced that I went on and I bought the tickets. They were incredible tickets. They were in the pit, which. Yes, basically.
So I was. I was at the stage. Like, I got to the stage and I didn't move because I didn't.
It was fun hanging out with you.
I'm sorry, but it was incredible.
Yeah, it was. It was a really cool experience. You have to tell them the part two, though. Well, I'll tell it for him. But up until two days before, he actually thought he wasn't going to get to go to the concert. Yeah.
Because I had a speaking thing in. In Texas that we'd agreed to.
I was so happy when you texted me and said you're getting.
Because, you know, what happened was I looked at the calendar and I didn't have anything on there. I buy the tickets. Well, sometimes in the office, they don't put things on the calendar when they're supposed to.
That's dangerous.
Then they put it on there. And then they don't even come and say, hey, by the way, you know that concert you thought you were gonna go to? No, you're. You're in Texas. You agreed to this thing. They don't even do that. I had to figure it out on my own, but it ended up. I flew back that day. So I spoke, hopped on a plane, came back, went to the concert, and man, how fun was that?
It was really, really cool. Morgan puts on a great show, great songs, everybody.
I've been listening to those album songs, too.
Monday morning I walk in and Chris has got it blasted it was so funny. I think I had started to kind. I downloaded the opening bands too, which I thought they they've got some chops too. So that was a lot of fun.
Hardy and Earnest.
Earnest, yeah. So Ernest co writes a lot of songs with Morgan and then Hardee's. He's respectable in his own right. He's got a couple of great songs out there.
Hardy's actually written, I think, more.
Oh more for him. Okay.
Thanks so much for watching this clip of Service Driving Revolution. We're uploading new stuff every day, so make sure you subscribe and click the bell icon so you don't miss out. If you have a question you'd like us to answer on the show, call 8333 Ask SDR and we'll answer your question on the show. That's 8333 Ask SDR. For special deals on our books and training, head over to offers.chriscollinsinc.com now that's offers.chriscollinsInc.com I'm Chris Collins and I'll see.
You in the next video.
