Real-estate coach Chris Prefontaine argues that confidence is built through action, not the other way around. Self-doubt signals where you need more work. Repetition, clear goals, and learning from failure turn doubt into confidence faster than waiting to feel ready.
Confidence isn't built, it's earned. And here's how. When we have a moment of self-doubt, we automatically think that it is a trigger or a signal that states that we shouldn't push forward. But the truth is, self-doubt is the exact signal that you need that, that pushes you forward because self-doubt is a signal that says, I need more work here, or I don't have enough information, or I need to spend more time developing this particular skill set. See, for most, they're going to take that signal as like, I'm going to completely walk away from this because self-doubt is such an overwhelming feeling that's really hard to push forward. But when we take self-doubt as a signal of, I need to push forward and here's how I can do it, then it automatically changes the game. I'm assuming because you're watching this that you have a growth mindset, which means that you believe that you have the ability to change your current position in this world, whether that be a skill set, whether that be a dollar amount income, whether that be a current circumstance in your life. If we have a growth mindset, that means that we believe we have the opportunity to make that change. And each and every one of us, when we are running up to a growth level, we always have self-doubt because with self-doubt, is being uncomfortable. And being uncomfortable means that we're actually moving in the right direction. So if we use that as a signal to say we need to keep running in this direction, because one day, by constantly working on the thing that has been creating self-doubt, that eventually that will lead to confidence. Each and every one of us started off in a very challenging situation. Right. We were born into a world where we couldn't walk, talk, eat on our own. Yet to this day, most of us can even drive a car while eating and talking on the phone. Talk about confidence and how that has changed through our lives. And it wasn't because we just automatically developed those skills. But what happened was we just constantly repeated a process that eventually brought us to a point where we Can actually do these things unconsciously. See, confidence is earned. And it's earned also by not only by repetition and moving towards something in which you have self-doubt, but it also comes from creating clarity. Sitting on the fence can be the most challenging scenario, right? You know, you're neither moving backwards or moving forward. But once we step off the fence, And we then have a clear expectation, a clear goal. All of a sudden our confidence increases. See, what I mean by clarity is just having a very focused effort towards something that we truly want. And once we have that clarity, the next step becomes very obvious. And we know once we take the next step and then the next step, It starts to elevate our confidence, to get us to a point where all of a sudden we look back and we are 10 steps ahead of where we used to be and our confidence has risen. But what else happens during this process in which we continuously take steps is we get feedback. It's like the universe is just constantly trying to hold us down, right? You get bad signals from self-doubt. You finally get the ability to move forward. And guess what happens? You get Feedback. Now, feedback can also sound like another F word— failure. Failure, if we reframe it, is truly feedback because we don't fail unless we stop. And if we're really clear about the destination that we're going in, then we of course are never going to stop, especially if it's something that's extremely important to us. So if we constantly look at as we're taking new steps and we get the feedback as adjustments Or as famously said in Friends, right? Perfect. Then it puts us in a position where we can find success. And then what breeds further confidence is finding out that we have gone through challenging situations and ended up better on the other side. But how do we actually continue to make it through these challenging times? Because especially being an entrepreneur or watching this and you're a real estate investor, could feel like a very lonely journey. And that lonely journey makes it very hard to get the right feedback to the challenges in which we're facing. See, your environment absolutely determines your growth. And if you know that you have the right people around you, giving you the right feedback and point you in the right direction, confidence also continues to grow because it's a point in time where you actually look at somebody that you know, like, and trust and somebody that you admire and you see that they are 10, 15, 20 steps ahead of you and they've dealt with the challenges and they've dealt with the failures and they've dealt with the feedback, yet they are living a much better life and Honestly, they're whole, right? They've been battered and bruised, but they look like they're having a much better life than you. So by surrounding yourself with the people that have been there, right, and are still moving forward and are living a life that you truly want, it adds more confidence. This is what I mean by confidence is earned. It's earned by going through life. It's earned by working towards a goal. See, what I found out is most people believe that you gain confidence and then you take action, right? You want something, but you won't take action unless you're confident. But it's actually the opposite. You take action and action creates confidence. And I can almost guarantee if you look back on your life that you'll actually realize that that truth is so important to where you are in your life right now. Taking imperfect action consistently produces better results than hoping and praying and planning for eventually perfect action that never gets done. Confidence is earned by working towards a goal. It's earned by getting beat up. It's earned by eventually finding success. And then when you look in the mirror and you say, I went through some really challenging things, but look where I am now, you now have that confidence that you can take towards anything you want in this life. Not sure where to get started? Go to smartrealestatecoach.com/getgoing for free books, strategy calls, and a whole bunch more. We're going to help you get going the wicked smart way. We've been after this for over a decade doing exactly that. If you want the exact blueprint that we have used and a story of mine on how I was able to build confidence to eventually be a successful real estate investor, you can find it in our book, which is at 3paydaysbooks.com/youtube. And I hope you find that that story in that book of where I came from and where I am today We'll continue to add more confidence to your current journey. That's 3paydaysbooks.com/youtube.
Episode 575: Redefining Retirement as the Day All Your Choices Open Up with Doug Bennett
