Chris Prefontaine argues that self-negotiation—telling yourself you'll start tomorrow or work out later—is the main thing stopping you from your goals. High-performers skip the internal bargaining and act before motivation shows up. Discipline is a muscle that builds freedom and momentum when you interrupt the negotiation and keep promises to yourself.
Chapters
Every morning you have a conversation with yourself, and most people lose that conversation before their feet even hit the ground. On today's Motivational Monday, I want to talk with you about something that I— that quietly destroys more dreams than almost anything else. And it has nothing to do with the market. Surprise, surprise. Nothing to do with interest rates, for example. Nothing to do with money. It has to do with conversations that you have with yourself every day, conscious or not. Every single day. Think about that. This is going to get you thinking just literally after this video, right? But just do a self-talk because every morning, or at least every day at some point, you negotiate. It might sound like this, things like, well, I'll start tomorrow. I'll make calls later. I'll make calls after blank. You fill in the blank. I'll work out after lunch, or I'll work out when you fill in the blank. I'll do it when I feel more motivated. I'll wait until things settle down a bit, or when the kids do this, I'll blank, blank, blank. You fill in the blank. You keep going, right? You get the idea. Does this sound at all familiar? At all? Here's the problem. That person that you're negotiating with consciously or not, it's you. And every time you win that negotiation, you lose big time long term. Think about that again. Another little gut check for you for this week. Nobody else is telling you not to make the calls. And by the way, if they are, you should not hang out with them. Nobody else is telling you not to go to the gym. Nobody else is telling you to skip the coaching call. Nobody else is telling you to put things unhealthy in your mouth. You're telling yourself all that stuff, again, consciously or not. And then the scary part is you're believing it. I've learned something after 3+ decades in the business. The highest performers inside our community are just people I network with. They don't have fewer excuses. They don't. They just stop negotiating with themselves. Like that, that little exercise doesn't even happen. And it's like building a muscle. Like you gotta catch it and then change the pattern, right? Yeah. And when it's time to make calls, if it supports their plan, what do they do? They make calls. See, the plan and the why and all these important emotional reasons matter beforehand, or you won't. And when it's time to exercise, what do they do? If it supports their goal, they exercise. When it's time to, say, attend an event, if they know that event will further their skillset or their mindset or any other area that supports their life plan and their goals, what do they do? They're there. I used to make sure I put myself in an environment every quarter to be in an event because I knew the proximity changed my mindset, never to go back, never to shrink back to where I was. See, I would just be there, period. Not because I felt like it. In fact, most of the times I didn't. That's super important. I promise you, I don't always feel like doing the things I know are necessary. That'd be too easy. But I make the decision Before that emotion shows up, ideally. And that's what successful people do. It's not brain science. It's small but effective. That's actually just discipline at its core, right? That's all I'm talking— what I'm referring to is just discipline. And discipline does what? It creates freedom, ideally, not motivation. Motivation comes and goes. It's always gonna— that ebbs and flows, but discipline stays because you build it. It's like a muscle. You know what else is interesting? Nobody necessarily remembers a day that they felt motivated. Maybe some one-offs, right? If you go to a seminar, you might. I'm not talking about that motivation. But everybody remembers the day they made a decision that ultimately changed their life. And I get it. I know some of you've been waiting to feel ready. I get it. I was there many times. And I'm telling you that you won't. Most of the time. Be ready. Some of you have been waiting to feel confident. I'm telling you, you won't. This confidence I'm referring to is sort of earned. Like, again, I keep referring to it as a muscle. It's kind of like this. First, take action. Second comes the confidence. If we know that, here's my challenge this week. Very simple. Pay attention to how often you're negotiating with yourself. Remember I said earlier, you just have to stop it. Like if you do it, just say stop or pat yourself on the back, do something, and then make one decision or keep one promise to yourself. And then do that again and again and another and another. Because I know I talked about sometimes simple decision, but your future isn't built by one giant, giant decision. It's not. Reality is it's actually built by hundreds of these little decisions. Where you just refuse to negotiate with yourself. I'm going to stop that and go this direction. And that's where the confidence comes from and builds. That's where momentum comes from. That's where businesses get built. All businesses, not just real estate. And as a result, cool lifestyles come about, right? And fortunes. Not sure where to get started? Go to smartrealestatecoach.com/getgoing for free books, strategy calls, and a whole bunch more. We're going to help you get going the wicked smart way. We've been after this for over a decade doing exactly that. So if you're serious about changing your future, don't wait for the motivation. Just get around people who expect more from you than you currently are expecting from yourself. Your standard will raise. But right now I'm talking about if you had the bar right here, get around people that expect more out of you than you do. And that's precisely why we've built this Smart Real Estate Coach family community, because it does work. I promise you that we'll help you raise your standards. Like, you can't get away from that. You can't. I look forward to seeing you next week. I look forward to seeing you at some of the live events. Let's get after it together.
