The Best Way to Keep Your 'WHY' In Front of You

But you just kept pushing and it just kept pushing me to like dig deeper, dig deeper, because it was very surface at the beginning.

This was to be a discussion around whys. And what I found out in the first call, which was really cool call, was, um, A, the exercise brought some ahas and some sort of lessons out. But also sparked questions, and then we dug into the why. So in doing the exercise, did anyone have anything new that popped up if you've done it in the past, or any ahas, or any blockage, or any questions before we dive into some of it?

I think for me, revisiting it, I have to go even a little bit deeper into some of the areas.

Um, just in doing it, you mean you feel like you got to go deeper?

Yeah, some of it I thought like, you know, where do you want to travel to or stuff. I think that I need to almost put them as like some goals with some measurements, like some time assigned to it.

Yeah, I, I mean, this is good discussion because I combine— I sort of do that. I combine my why with Some measurable goals in there. I like that. Uh, Rick does that too. He tends to want to get granular about where he's going, etc., and then the why.

Yeah.

Yeah. So if that works for your emotions when you're reading it, for example, then that's good. Um, has anyone turned it into yet a document that you can read? Yes, one. Yes. Anyone else?

Mine was part of my business plan.

Abby? What I shared last group, I don't know if it's before Russ even jumped on, is I, I read a series of things. I've announced this at the events a lot. That came from partially my stuff, like we're talking about, and then some Joe Vitale stuff. But I read those almost daily since 2015 until about a month ago, and then I started tweaking them. But that's how long I stayed with that. And that discussion came up because one of the members from the last call was definitely stuck on, well, I can't even write or say or think this because I got all this crap here. And that's— that defeats the whole purpose. The whole purpose was for you to Get unstuck in your head just for even 10 minutes and go dream about that. And don't get caught up with the tyranny of how, because it'll— you'll just always be in a cycle. Tyranny of how meaning, you know, the pathway. I was talking to Kim just last night about some things in the business, and she's like, I can't even visualize that yet because I got to deal with this, this, and this. I said, no, no, no, you defeat all purpose. The same thing has come up on the call earlier, came up with Kim and I last night. So let's not get caught up in the how. When things are going super good and super smooth and energetic, everything's moving. Of course it's easier to write it then. It's when it's not that you write it and it's difficult and it's challenging and you gotta get yourself mentally outta the mode. Does this make sense the way, the way I said that?

Okay.

All right. Um, okay. So thanks for sharing that, Jude. Anyone else have anything when they, when they went through the exercise? And I'm just gonna make a note of what I just said for the next group. Nothing? Wendy?

Yeah. So how do we know that we have gone deep enough into our why?

I mean, you need someone looking over your shoulder maybe, and Rusty and I and Rick will all do it, or you can pick one or two, do versions as you grow. Um, my opinion, uh, would be when you're starting to feel excited/emotional about it.

Okay.

Like if it's just rote, like a goal would be like, like the business part, the business plan part of your goals say, I'm gonna get this many contacts, I'm gonna get this, like that's just rote numbers. But it's when you start feeling emotional and excited to read it. Like when I would read it, I'd get excited about it. Like it would get me in a better frame of mind. And then it doesn't take just once, as you know, people go, I, I, I read it. 2 weeks. No, like I read it for 9 years to get to where I cranked most of it. So you gotta get to the point where you love it. Can't wait to read it. It's exciting. Not, oh, I'm just kind of going through the motions. That's one way of double-checking yourself, I guess. And the emotions is the other piece. If you're doing it with someone after you get done, do another person.

Okay. So I definitely was not there, not that deep. But I caught— I got a little stuck because I was asking all the whys. And then a few questions down the road, I feel like I was going back to my first, first reason why I wanted to do this. So I was, I was feeling like I was running in a circle.

Got it.

Where it didn't get me deep enough. But so I was, I was doing this exercise with Dr. Amanda.

Yeah.

Of getting into our deep why. And so I kept asking myself questions, but I felt like looking at what I wrote down and my whys, I felt like I was walking in a circle. I was definitely not emotional. So I knew I was— I had questions whether I was deep into my why or not. I kind of had the feeling that I wasn't. Um, so I don't know. I don't know how to go from there. Yeah.

All right. Um, so anyone— it's a tight group, so please feel free to ask questions, and Rusty and I will try to lead it up. So give us, um, where you ended with what you consider to be the stage you're at for your why, Wendy, and we'll see what we can uncover, if anything, and/or send you off to do some more things.

Okay, so I don't have it right in front of me because I'm on the road, but the things that I wrote down of my why is I'm doing this for my family. And then why is it important that I do this for my family? I came up with a couple different answers because I want stability, I want time freedom, money freedom. And also, uh, the other thing I feel like it's important to me is to have a sense of accomplishment. Um, and then I— it went back to what— why are all these things important to me? Um, one thing I do remember writing down was, um, I feel like I don't have the I don't have the, um, what's the word I'm looking for? Like, my husband's not in agreement with me on this. He thinks that I may be wasting my time. So—

When you say this now, we're talking about your why. When you say this, you must mean your real estate business.

Correct. So—

We're getting into the how here.

I feel like, I feel like I need to sort of prove to myself, prove to family members Okay, I'm with you.

Okay, let me just ask a few questions and then if Rusty has any, of course. You kept saying this, so I did just uncover that. You mean real estate when you say I'm doing this for my family, right?

I mean specifically real estate terms business.

Yeah. So the reason I'm asking that, just kind of practice in your brain for more work later. I have some other items that are more Micro. I would consider getting dialing further out, meaning there's different vehicles and there's different pathways this, this, as you phrase it, may take or may not take. Maybe something else. I don't want to see you pin yourself to the how. I'd rather you see yourself— see you pin yourself to a much bigger why and let the how play out.

Okay.

Whereas I don't want you to have no proof. I'm not— so don't take me the wrong way. I'm saying just in that one statement that you open with, I want you to be a little bit more dialed out, like 100,000-foot view, not 10,000, so that you're finding a lifestyle or a dream lifestyle or a life that you want. Don't get caught up in, I got to do 3 3-payday deals because it might not be that.

I guess I'm a little confused. I'm not quite clear on what you just said.

Well, let me elaborate. I know Avi has another business. If Avi writes a why, and we'll get to his maybe today, maybe another day, but he doesn't have to try to write the why statement or paragraph or 3 pages and then try to say how he's getting there. Like, I got my brokerage and I got my creative real estate. That's not what the exercise is. The exercise is your why.

You as a person in your lifestyle, you're, you're stuck, Wendy, because you're, you're thinking the, the vehicle to your why is just creative financing.

Correct. You're almost, you're almost hemming yourself into that. So then that spirals into other things that will just slow it down. It was similar in the last call. It's just so, so, so common. And it's what I had the discussion last night with Kim on. I said, stop without you thinking about the how. Just define what it looks like up here.

Yeah, 10,000-foot view. I want to be sipping Mai Tais in Costa Rica, you know, on the beach.

I want to prove, I want to show— we'll get to this statement later, but I want to show my family that I'm independent and successful. It doesn't have to be this. I want it to be for you tomorrow, but I'm saying don't pin yourself down.

Okay, so are you saying once I get deep down into my true why, then the how, it can be terms, real estate, or it could be something else? Is that what you're saying?

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, it could be one terms deal that you ran across, but then you invented something on accident. I'm being facetious, but not really. It could be anything.

So crazy. Okay.

So go ahead.

I was just going to say, like, you know, I started doing this, but I had been part of another real estate group. And this kind of, with that, in combination with that, kind of got me to some private money lending.

Yep, exactly.

And that's contributing to some of this as well. But that was never in my original intent.

100%. Good example. Another one is I connected you with someone that maybe a year from now will lead to someone else and someone else and someone else. You don't know. And that all contributes. It's a good example.

Yeah. Another one is that guy Scott Carson that you had at QLS and on your thing before. Like, you know, when I have more time, when I'm not working a W-2, that may be something I do down the road to supplement. Yeah.

So this is why this is so cool. Judy gave 2 examples, but Wendy and everyone, when you have that, Up there in the why, then stuff comes to you. It opens up. Judy's— that stuff's coming to Judy through just— she has her goals and her whys. She didn't plan on it, just coming. This is what I meant. If I told— if I— if you guys asked me last July, what's my year like, why and plan look like, I could tell you the end result. I would never in a million years today— I can tell you this, this Emphatically, guess Howard got there or planned it. They were the 3 largest transactions of my career and they got me to my goal. But you couldn't have convinced me that I was going to do that a year ago. That's a good example. See, I didn't get caught. I just said, this is where I'm going. Don't know how I'm going to freaking do it, but that's where I'm going. So yes, Judy, 100% on target. Let me see what else I wrote down for Wendy so I don't lose it. I would define Wendy, and you might have already done this. I would define What each one of those things meant when you said it was sort of your why. You said things like time freedom, money freedom, stability, uh, sense of accomplishment, I get. But those 3 things I just mentioned— stability, time freedom, money freedom— I would define what those are first for you because they're all different. You know, my definition and Tony's definition and Matt, different than what you just said probably in your head. Everybody's different. So define what those are and then why are those important. Because in addition to some quote-unquote proof, to use your word, in the— with the family, there might be some deeper stuff there from when you grew up too. I don't know, but we should define those, just as a thought.

When you say define those, um, did you mean that— okay, so as far as, um, Let's say money freedom. So I need to give like a specific number?

Um, no, I meant what is freedom? Well, you could. What does freedom mean to you? Like, define it. Yeah, it means I'm never worrying about money because I have— I'm making this up— because I have this much in the bank. And end result, end result, end result.

Okay.

Um, one of mine was to be completely and entirely debt-free, including real estate. Everything, everything in my life. That's what I meant, but I didn't know how I was going to get there. So to me, that was what that meant, money freedom, let's say, or financial independence. You know, everybody has a different word for it, but that's what I mean by define it.

Yeah. Okay. Thanks.

Same with time freedom. I think Rusty said it facetiously but accurate. Like, okay, I want time freedom. I want to be doing what? I want to be sitting on the beach sipping my— whatever, whatever it is for you. And the reason I said I know everybody's different is because I'll— you share your goals with someone, they'll be like, oh, you can't— you know, I want to do that. You want to do this? No, I just told you I want to do that. Like, everybody's different what they define that as. Does this resonate, guys?

Chris, you also— when I was doing mine and we were working one-on-one with it, you kept, you kept pushing me. What are you going to do with your free time? when you have freedom of time? What are you going to do with your money? Like, why is that important to you? And you just kept going. You like, you just kept like peeling the onion, like level after level after level. And I was like, you know, sometimes I was frustrated with myself because I'm like, I'm not sure yet. I haven't had that freedom of time, or, you know, something like that. But you just kept pushing, and it just kept pushing me to like dig deeper, dig deeper, because it was very surface at the beginning.

Everyone, um, and remember, I think I said this at the outset, but I definitely said in the last call, and that is super easy to do that when things are going great. You can kind of, you can kind of dream a little bit bigger. It's tough to create it deeper and deeper. So Wendy and everyone, you just vulnerable enough to volunteer, um, so what? Like, I think Steve Weston said at the Judy one, so, so what, Judy? Why is that important? Like, Have someone else digging a little deeper after you get through this next stage. Why is it important? Who else will it affect?

How?

Why is that important to them? Because you definitely have some things in there tied to your family. So let's explore how that's going to affect them and why does it matter.

Okay, thanks.

You bet.

I think you got, you got some good meat to roll with there, right?

Yes.

Cool.

Did anyone else get— did anyone have a question on that or get any sort of ahas out of that discussion? Thanks, Wendy. Okay, who else worked on it? Because that was the deal from last Thursday in the rant. Have you worked on it any, Ahas or stuckness? Like Wendy identified that she felt like she was going in a circle. That's why we did that exercise. Anything on your end?

Yeah, so I definitely hit some points. I worked some of my how into the why, so I've gotta fine-tune that and also, uh, you know, dig deeper on, like Judy was saying, what am I gonna do with my time when I Reach this particular goal of time freedom? What am I going to do? What— why is that money important to me? So I gotta dig deeper on those.

And what you're doing that time, why is that important? Why is that good? Who else will it affect?

Why?

Why does it matter? So what? Um, and I can't stress enough, if we do this exercise tonight and we put it in a drawer, It's better than not doing it, but it's, it's a longer-term project. I just shared with you 9 years.