In this motivational talk, bestselling author Christian Michaelson explains that all fears are fundamentally fears of feelings rather than fears of actual outcomes. He illustrates this by recounting personal anxieties about public speaking and money, showing that the underlying concerns are emotions such as embarrassment, shame, or rejection. Michaelson argues that recognizing this pattern is empowering, but stresses that intellectual awareness must be paired with practical action. He references his "peace process" training and other resources designed to help people work through fear, and encourages listeners to "feel the fear and do it anyway," noting that even desirable outcomes (e.g., sudden wealth or fame) can trigger fear. He concludes that any level of fear can be resolved, that his clients have always found peace, and that individuals are infinitely powerful to overcome fear.
Chapters
Hi, this is Christian Michaelson, number one best selling author. And today I want to talk to you about fear. And fear is one of the things that makes the biggest impact on our lives. It keeps us from doing so many things that we might otherwise want to do. Might keep you from, you know, asking out somebody you want to go on a date with. Could keep you from starting a business, could keep you from asking for a raise or a promotion or really going for it in our lives. And so we've got to really understand what is this fear thing and what are we really afraid of, you know? And I started thinking about one of my fears recently, years ago. I was like, I was going to do this presentation and I was really nervous and I was like, what am I afraid of? What am I so afraid of? Why, like, what's the worst thing that could happen? One of the things you might ask yourself is like, worst case scenario, what's the worst thing that could happen with this fear? And I realized that I started looking at this one, I started looking at other fears. I had money fears. And in fact, I was at a place in my life where I had more money in the bank than I'd ever had and I was still worrying about money. I was trying to figure out, what am I really afraid of. And honestly, I couldn't really figure it out. My worst case scenario didn't even seem that scary, but yet there was some fear going on that was driving and I couldn't really put my finger on it. And that's when I realized that all of our fears are fears of feelings. Everything we're afraid of, we're not afraid of the thing happening. We're afraid of how we would feel that thing were to happen. So, you know, let's say public speaking. I wasn't afraid to actually get up and stand on a stage and talk in front of people. It was like, oh my gosh, what if they don't like it? I might feel rejected or I might feel, if I screw up, I might feel embarrassed or humiliated or something. And those are all emotions. And I realized I'm only afraid of my feelings, right? No bad consequence. I'm not. Wasn't going to die up there, right? I wasn't going to be attacked or, you know, killed or, you know, my life was not in jeopardy, right? I wasn't jumping off a, you know, a building or anything. And the same thing about my money fears. I was like, oh, what's the worst case scenario if all my money goes away? I'm like, well, I End up homeless? Would I really be homeless? Maybe I could be crashing on some friends couches or something. But like, what would, what am I really afraid of? And I realized that I was afraid of the shame I would feel if I didn't have any money or lost my house or, you know, those sorts of things. So all of our fears really come down to fears of feelings. And when you know that, then it can be really empowering. But there's the difference between knowing it intellectually and knowing it in here, right? So you might even be aware. It's a great awareness now, but now you need to know what to do about it. So I have another video, another training on some great techniques, an amazing body of work to help people work through their stuff, work through their fears. One of these techniques is called the peace process. And I recently shot a video on that. So I would recommend looking for that. And that can help you resolve your fears. But for now, just thinking about whatever it is that you want to do that you're not doing right now, just notice, you know, if you were to do it, how would it make you feel? And here's even the crazier part, is that sometimes when we think about the things that we want, even if we were to just get it quickly and easily, like winning the lottery or, you know, you know, getting on TV and becoming rich and famous or something great happening, sometimes even that is scary. Having the good stuff come to us can make us feel afraid. So we really need to master fear. And again, we've got some great videos, great resources to help you do that. But right now I just want you to have this awareness that all of our fears are fears of feelings. And what that really comes down to. And really what I think that's what's so reassuring about that is, is that, you know, if you just go ahead and do it, feel the fear and do it anyway, which it's sometimes as easy to do if your fear is at a level 2, 3 or 4, and can be really tough to do. If your fear is at a level 8, 9 or 10, there are really no bad consequences. It's just things that'll push your buttons and make you feel certain feelings and even the worst things that could happen we can get to peace about. I haven't seen any situation that any of my clients, students over the years have faced that they haven't then been able to find peace about. And that's really powerful and reassuring too. So remember, all of our fears are fears of feelings. And you are infinitely powerful and you can overcome these fears and you can succeed in spite of these fears. Remember, you are infinitely powerful.
