I took over 7000 sales calls and learned this

I've taken over 7,000 high ticket sales calls and closed millions of dollars in deals over the past four years. In that time, sales has allowed me from going to living with my dad in a trailer in Kansas now to being in Miami in a luxury two bedroom apartment. In that time as well, I've also spent around $50,000 on sales training. I'll be real, most of it is pretty basic, so I'll be going over today. Is going over the top five things I learned from taking thousands of calls, training hundreds of clients that I see no other sales trainer talking about help you close more sales. Now, I'm not going to do much edits. I'm just going to be spitting some hot fire at you so you can go and make some more sweet, sweet commissions. So take notes and let's dive in. That we need to go over is you need to be able to understand language. This is the biggest learning curve that I see with people who I train. One on one is being able to train their ear and pick up what a prospect is saying. People think by talking and the way the prospect talks to you is the way that they talk to themselves. So believe it or not, you actually have to listen to truly understand where people are coming from. That way you can connect with them. And the only way that you're going to be able to shift their behavior is if you understand them and you connect with them, believe it or not. Okay, so there's three things you really need to be able to focus on when we're talking about somebody's language when you're on a sales call. Number one is how they describe things. Two, the language they use that shows you what they're running towards. And three, the language they use that shows you what's holding them back. So let's take these one by one. Very first and foremost, understanding and really paying attention to how the prospect describes things. There's a couple reasons why we really want to be able to pay attention to this. Number one is people trust people who are like them. We are tribal beings just by nature and if you talk like someone else, you are a part of their tribe, which builds a connection with somebody a lot faster when you use their words and how they describe things also as well as a salesperson or as someone different, you might be saying the same thing, but if you don't use the same words, there's going to be a disconnect. So you need to morph your questions to use their language. And the thing that you always want to pay attention to is how they positively describe things, their adjectives, and how they negatively describe things. And what you'll do is you can write these words down and you add them into the questions that you ask so that way you don't get as much pushback on the questions that you get to. So, number one, you're going to be able to build a better connection. But then number two, it's going to be hard for them to not fall into your frame if you use their words, for lack of a better term, against them. For example, if you are talking to somebody and they say that they're looking for more leads because the lead flow that they've been having is inconsistent. Okay, fantastic. They use the word inconsistent right here, negative adjective. You would want to understand what they mean by inconsistent because you're not aware of it. And we'll definitely get to more of you don't want to assume anything. But then from there, you need to use their words as far as inconsistent in your questions moving forward. Because if you don't and you assume something else, you can get pushback. And this is what I see in a lot of calls is they'll tell you something is inconsistent, and then you just ask, well, why is it not enough? Or why can't it help you get to xyz? Or why can't it help you scale when they didn't say those things? So when you're asking them and they say things are inconsistent, you. You're asked, okay, well, what do you feel like is missing with the current way that you're generating leads that's causing things to be inconsistent? It's very hard for them to push back on that question. But if you ask the same question and you just end it in a different way, you end it in something that they didn't say, it gives them an out to push back on that question. Well, what do you feel like is missing in the way that you're generating leads that's causing you not to be able to scale the way that you want? Well, they didn't say that. So that way they can push back, which causes again, that connection to be really broken. So the biggest thing is pay attention to the words that they use and you want to start to adopt those words, number one, to be able to connect better with them because you're going to be talking more like them. But number two, it also makes it to where you're not going to get pushback on the questions that you ask. Questions, at the end of the day, they're just tools. So you they morph and they really shift to the prospect that you're talking to. Okay, so that's, you need to understand how prospects describe things, positive, negative, and you use it throughout your entire process. So write it down how they describe things. Number two, you need to pay attention to the words they use so you can understand what they're running towards. This is also a big thing I see people struggle with, especially when they're newer into sales. They have a hard time uncovering what people's true drivers are and really what pain that they're in. So what this is, is this is Maslow's hierarchy. And here at the bottom of the pyramid, physiological, food, water, sleep, breathing, health, safety, you know, employment, resources, family, property, all these different things, these are pretty apparent. Okay, the pain is very apparent. But as you go up higher when we're talking about loving, belonging in a seam, self actualization, as these things are taken care of, as someone's physiological stuff is taken care of, their safety is taken care of, their love and belonging is taken care of, but they're working on their esteem. This pain becomes less and less apparent if you do not know what to look for. So that's why it's always, always important to make sure you're paying attention to the words that they use so you understand where their gap is. Because I'm here to tell you, just because somebody is doesn't have the pain of, you know, being unemployed or living paycheck to paycheck doesn't mean that they don't have pain. It just means that you are having a hard time uncovering that pain. That's fine. You just need to pay attention to what they're actually saying so you can understand where their pain actually is. For example, if somebody, you're talking to them and their main driver is to have the confidence in themselves and to prove others wrong, to show everyone else that they can do it. And you start asking them, well, what happens if you don't make the money? And you know, you gotta be out on the street, you're not gonna get good answers. But if you ask them, well, what happens if you don't prove everyone else wrong and you say exactly where you're at? What are the consequences of that? That's going to hit a lot harder because you're talking to their actual motivations. So you need to be able to pay attention to this. And it really just comes down to understanding what their language is because we talk and people will tell you what their motivations are. So you just have to understand It So when they're like in physiological again, food, water, sleep, breathing, health, they're saying like, oh, I'm drowning in medical debt. Right, Their food, their water. They could be out on the street, they could be homeless. This pain is very apparent. So it's easier to dive into it. If it's safety. I'm living paycheck to paycheck. Again, they're having a hard time getting the resources that they need to be to break out of having that safety. Very, very apparent love and belonging. They really want to provide. Okay, so you go in here, you need to understand their main driver is their family. And oftentimes when we're talking about providing, it's if they provide more, they'll get the affection and intimacy that they want to. Okay, so you're going to have to morph your questions around that, around them being the provider that they truly want to be. And what would that actually look like? Why is it important for them to be that provider? And what happens if they never are? If they continue to be the provider that they have been, but not the provider they know they could be? That's the sales conversation. And if you start talking to them about things lower down on the rung or even higher up on the rung, you're not going to really dive into their true emotions. We were talking about esteem. We were talking about it earlier. I want to show people I can do it. I want to leave a legacy. So again, their esteem, they want self esteem, confidence, respect from others, respect, you know, respect by others. You need to talk to them about that. That's their true motivation. That's where their true pain is. They don't have this. So again, if you're talking to them about again their family or you know, them not having enough resources, you're not going to be able to connect with them. You need to talk to them about them really having the confidence in themselves, them getting respect from others, them being able to prove others wrong. These are the questions that you're going to ask. They said they want to show people that they can do it. What, what happens if they're the person who never does it and proves everyone else right? Get to that question, they're going to have more of the motivation to actually do something then this one. Self actualization, I want to fulfill my potential. Again, if you talk to them about anything else, you talk to them about love and belonging, safety, physiological, they have all these things checked. And if you need to talk to them about how they are self actualizing themselves and what if they never reach their full potential for the rest of their life, and they always come up short, that's where it's going to come down to. That's where the sale is made. So make sure you pay attention to the language that they use and you understand what motivates people to drive forward. And you don't attribute to them problems that you're more comfortable having a conversation about, but it's not their real problem. All right, next is what's holding people back. Believe it or not, people will tell you exactly what's holding them back, and they will tell you the exact objection that they're going to give you way before you get to the end. People are made up of patterns, and people tell themselves stories on why they aren't where they want to be. If you listen, it's a big, big, you know, repeating pattern. You need to listen. You can pick it up on what is holding them back and you can address it so that way you can take care of it before you get to the objection handling part. Have a ton more objectionless closes, lots more fun, high fives all around. And if you change the way someone speaks, you change the way that they think, because people, again, they think by talking. So if you change what they talk about, you change what they think about. And if you change what they think about, you change how they act. So that's why this is so important now. There's big. There's more than this as far as, like, what can be holding people back. But these are the key things that I see come up again after listening to hundreds and hundreds of other people's sales calls, taking thousands myself. Number one, wishful language. It would be nice. I would like to. I want to. Ambiguous language, probably. I think maybe emotional out language. It's not that bad. I'll get there no matter what. Things are really good right now. External language. It's the economy. I don't have the time. I've been burned before, so I don't play, you know, I don't pay for things up front.

Right.

I reviewed a call a couple of days ago that. That one was the exact one. So let's take these one by one. So, number one, wishful language. Why is this something that could hold somebody back? Because it's not real. If it would be nice for me to make a million dollars, I'm not putting in the effort to actually get there because it's just a nice thing. Like it'd be nice to be at the beach right now. But I'm not There, it's fine.

Okay.

So there's not as much drive when somebody is wishful. And the reason people use wishful language is they want to separate themselves from actually, you know, achieving the goal because they know that it's going to be hard. So they tell themselves that they don't want it as much. Right. So, yeah, it'd be nice to have that. But they don't need to have it. And because they don't need to have it, they have a bit of an out. So you got to be careful with the wishful language. Ambiguous language again, probably. I think maybe, hopefully you understand why this isn't good. They're giving themselves an out. Do you think this will work for you? Yeah, probably. I think it would. Right. That probably there gives them a little bit of wiggle room. And if we don't address it moving forward, we're going to have a hard time tying people down, especially when we're talking about. Objection. Handling emotional out language. This comes down to. It's very close to the wishful language. But this one is the biggest thing I see people have a hard time actually addressing when people say, it's not that bad. I'll get there. No matter what. Things are really good right now. They're telling themselves like they're giving themselves reasons that are not real by the way of why they don't need to change. And if we do not address it and change it, you'll get to the end and they're like, yeah, but it's not that bad. Or, you know, I'll get there. Let me see if I can figure it out on my own and then I'll come back to you. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. It needs to be addressed that way you can get that out of the way and you can move on. So external language, it's the economy. I don't have the time. They're blaming things outside of themselves. You as a salesperson cannot fix the economy. All you can do is fix the person that's in front of you. Not fix, but help them change. You get what I mean? You can help them get more leads. You can help them start a business. You cannot help the economy to be fixed.

Okay?

So if they're blaming external things that are not them, you cannot help them with that. So. So it needs to be addressed. And with all these language patterns, understand? The longer a conversation goes on for the more confident somebody gets with their language patterns, they get more confident using it because it hasn't been called out. So if they're using wishful language. The sooner you call it out, the better. They're using ambiguous language. The sooner you call it out, the better. Okay, and we'll go over exactly how you actually address it. Again, you don't want to be, you know, dick about it, but there are ways to address it and it needs to be addressed. So number one, when we're talking about wishful language, there's a couple ways. Easiest way to address it, especially if it's early on in the conversation, is let's say you're selling something like a business opportunity. It's a biz op. You help someone start a business, like one of my clients, a real estate investment offer. And somebody tells you, yeah, it would be nice to make 20,000 per month.

Okay.

We hear the wishful language. How do we address it? Super simple. At the very beginning of the conversation, if it comes up very light, little cheeky, say it with a smile. Yeah, it'd be nice if I was at the beach right now. Tell me what you need to get to. And just that alone. Oftentimes they're not going to continue to use wishful language. Right. You just, you check it immediately and then it's not going to come up later on in the conversation. But sometimes it will, and we need to address it more. But this one is just a very, very light way. And you say it with a smile. So you don't. Because you're pushing back a little bit. You say it with a smile so you don't get much pushback. And then they'll fall into your frame. Yeah, I mean, it would be nice for me to be at the beach right now. Tell me what you need to do. Tell me what you need to get to and then you'll get a real. A more real answer. And I'll tell you right now. It'd be nice to get to 20k per month versus I need to get to 10k per month. One is a lot better gold than the other.

Okay.

There's more urgency behind the second one. So let's say you need to use a harder frame. Let's say we use that and then we're still getting this wishful language. Coming up. How do we address it more? How do we use a, like, harder frame or do we address it more, you know, you know, head on? Something like that. Yeah, I want to get to 20k per month again. What is the wishful language like? I want to get there. So. And you, if you're going to address it more hands on. Right. You want to give them a reason on why they need to change their language. Something like this. Again, it doesn't have to be word for word. This is what I'll typically say. And it's worked for me a ton.

Okay.

So you can either say, hey, can I share perspective on that? And they'll be like, oh, yeah, I can appreciate that. I'm curious though. Do you know the difference between a want and a need? You just ask, do you know the difference between a want and a need? Does not matter what they say. Okay, doesn't matter. They can say yes, they can say no. They can start telling you what they think it is and then you just continue on. Like a want is. If it's convenient, I'll do it. But you getting a 20,000 per month, do you think it will be convenient? I've never heard anyone say yes. Right. Because, like, people know innately trying new things and making a lot of money is like, in their mind, it's supposed to be hard. Really? Making that much money. It's not that hard. Well, it's simple, but it's not easy. That's what it comes down to. But like, is it supposed to be convenient? Oh, no. Well, why not get them to explain to themselves it's not supposed to be convenient? And then you want to go ahead and continue. A need is, I'll do whatever it takes. Would you agree? I'm getting more buy in as I'm going through, so would you be willing to change that want into a need? So you're asking them if they're willing to change their language. You'll get a yes. I've never heard nobody say, oh, no, I want to keep it a want. Okay, you'll get a yes. I want to change my language. Why would you, though, get them to get more buy in? Because, like, why you want to give pushback on these why's Here is everyone, every time somebody takes a step in your direction, you want to give a slight pushback. Why is that? Because when you push back on somebody, just naturally, they dig their heels on more. So when somebody takes a step in my direction, for example, starting to say need instead of want, I push back a little bit. Well, why would you even do that, man?

Right.

You don't want to say it like that, but why would you? And what they'll do is they'll entrench themselves more in that way of thinking.

Okay.

So that helps me help them.

Okay.

If they start speaking the right way next. We're talking about ambiguous language. This one can come up all the time. It's super, super simple to address it. You just repeat back the ambiguous language in a confused tone or curious tone. Okay, I think I would do it. You think, you think you can be a little bit playful with it and they'll either correct the language or they'll tell you the concern. Objection. Whatever it is. Yeah, like, I'll probably. Yeah, I'll probably do it, probably. Oh, no, I. I will. I will. Okay, cool. Or I. I think I would do it. You think? Well, this. Okay, now you got to address that. Let's say it's a. It's a value thing. Or if you just want to be a little bit more, you know, straightforward with it, I think this is the easiest. You just repeat back whatever the ambiguous language is. But you can always do. I mean, you don't sound too sure, like, what's behind that. Oh, no, I am sure they'll defend themselves or they'll be like, well, this. So then you can address it. Okay, next we have emotional out language. Again, this is one of the biggest ones that I see salespeople struggle with the most. So when you're talking to a prospect, you're digging into pain. Let's say, for example, in this example here, somebody looking to lose weight, they need to lose £50. And you're like, hey, man, why do you need to lose 50 pounds? What type of impact is having? You're trying to dig into this guy's pain. I mean, hopefully you're asking better questions than that. But they're like, I mean, it's not that bad. Oof. If this guy is 50 pounds overweight and he doesn't see it as that bad, is there any chance this guy's going to move forward? Absolutely not. So we need to be able to address it. So typically, I'm going to address it a little bit more like head on. Now you can open up with a perspective reframe, which is basically you ask them, hey, can I share perspective or can I make a suggestion? Or what if it wasn't what you thought it was? The reason you would open up with something like that is because you're asking them a question to give you permission to then make more of a statement or be more or help them shift the way that they see things?

Okay.

So it's just going to increase the compliance of whatever you're going to say afterwards. So they say, oh, well, it's not that bad. Again, emotional out language right here. What you're going to do is you need to address it more hands on. There's tons of ways you can do this. The way that I found works best for me is just to ask them a question that causes them to question what it is they just said. Well, do you think that might be part of the problem? And they might say, what do you mean? I mean, because if we keep on telling ourselves it's not that bad, where is the drive to change? So the reason you ask it like that is you're getting them to see that them talking this way is directly responsible for them not having the drive to change.

Okay.

And then from there, I'll typically go into a perspective reframe. Again, I'm going to use an analogy to get them to see that we need to have emotion in order to do anything that's worth doing, basically. So it's gonna be something like this college super bowl reframe. Tons of reframes. Analogies out there that you can use. This one I just like, because most people watch football. It makes sense. Most people know sports. Can I share a perspective? I mean, if you're in the super bowl and one of your teammates didn't care if you won or lost, like, would you want him as your teammate? Why not? Oh, because he doesn't really care to. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, right. Because if there's no real emotion that's driving him forward, you know, he's not going to be able to be the best teammate. So I guess, like, be real with me because I'm on your team. I want to see you win. You looking in the mirror every single day and not liking what's looking back at you. How does that feel?

Right.

So again, you. You get them to see that emotion is important when we're driving towards something simple. You know, if you had a teammate in the super bowl, would you want them to not care basically whether you want or lost? Why not get them to expand on why they wouldn't want that? Right. Because they have no real emotion that's driving them forward. And then basically, you're re asking the question that got you the. Yeah, it's not that bad because. So let's say you asked him, hey, how does this feel, man? Like, you being overweight and he's like, oh, it's not that bad. You want to go ahead and you re ask the question at the end. So that way you get the real thing out of him, and then from there you'll get the real emotion. So, I mean, oh, it's not that bad. Well, do you think that might be part of the problem? Because if you keep Telling yourself that it's not that bad. Like, where does it drive the change? Oh, well, I'm not sure. Can I share perspective? Yeah. Like, if you're in the super bowl and one of your teammates didn't care if you won or lost, like, would you want him as your teammate? Well, no. Well, why not? Oh, because of this, this and this. Right. Because there's no real emotion driving them forward to change. So be real with me because I'm on your team. You look in the mirror every single day and not liking what's looking back at you. Like, how does that feel? Like we're right back into it. And oftentimes you only got to do this once. And they will knock out. Like, they'll get out of the emotional out language if it comes up again. Again, you just have to address it more heads on. Next is external language. So this one comes down to, again, you cannot fix the economy. You cannot fix anything outside of the person that you're talking to. You can only help the person who you're talking to, who's in front of you change. It's the only person you can change. So if they blame externals, we can't, like there's, they're giving away the responsibility, whatever it is. So we need people to take full responsibility. And once people take full responsibility, that's when you can help them change. Okay, so let's just say you're selling lead generation to real estate agents. Real estate agents tend to do this quite a bit. They blame everything else besides themselves. They, they tend to have higher egos. Again, I've met some real estate agents, really cool guys. A lot of them have egos. Okay, so let's just say, hey, what do you feel like is missing with your marketing that's making things inconsistent? This is a question you ask and they come back with, well, I mean, it's just harder with this economy, the rates. People just aren't wanting to sell everything but me. Right? This is what they're going to tell you. This is what you do. You want to use a comparative frame. What a comparative frame is, you basically just compare. You, you, you show them that other people. This is not true for. Why is it true for you? And it's going to get them to blame themselves. You need to get them to take it internal. That's what you need to do. Okay, well, I mean, it's harder with this economy. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

Okay.

And so again, you don't want to just say it's bullshit, but it's like potentially can I. You don't want to agree, you don't want to disagree again, you don't want to cause disconnect and rapport. It's potentially. Can it, can I share a perspective like, oh, yeah, sure. I mean, we work with a lot of agents who are in tough markets who've been able to grow like over the past couple years with the market being like, it is. So I guess, like, what do you feel like you might be missing, which is the current way you're generating leads or maybe how you're actually nurturing them that's causing these things to be inconsistent the way that they are? Again, I'm taking away their excuse. So that way we get a more real answer moving forward.

Okay, cool.

Next one. Number two is we need to understand that the answer is that it's not obvious what the answer is. If you want to get to prospects, real pain and drivers, you can't assume you understand them from, from surface level info or you understand them because you've talked to other people who've had similar issues. Everyone is a unique snowflake, okay? People are inherently interesting and you gotta understand it's not as obvious as we like to make it out because we do something every single day. For example, man, if you help people start a business, really sit and think, how many people, let's just say in the United States or North America, wherever you're at, how many people actually start a business? It's like probably less than 10%. So it's not obvious why they do want to start a business because an overwhelming majority of people do not start businesses. So why is this person hopping on a call to learn about starting a business? And if we just assume that, oh well, obviously, you know, making more money is good for everyone and we don't ask them, well, what's their true driver? Why do they need to make more money or why is it important to them? We're not going to get to their real why we're not going to get to the real driver. We're not going to get to the real pain. For instance, we're talking about lead generation. If you hop on somebody and they tell you they want to get to 100k per month, how many businesses are making 100k per month? It's a very, very small percentage. Most people are not there. So it's not obvious why this person that's sitting in front of you, you know, or on Zoom, whatever it is, has the drive to do so. So you gotta understand that it's not as obvious as you like to make it to be. And I had a conversation with one of my clients, and I just started working with them. And this is what really unlocked it, because he sells lead generation, is it's not obvious that every business owner wants to grow their business and make more money. It's really not, because most don't. So just sit there and try to understand why this person does. And if you understand what their motivation is, then you can understand what they don't have now and what that gap is. You can understand what their problems are. So a couple things always keep in mind. People are inherently interesting. Once you actually do not assume and you just ask questions, you'll be generally, like, genuinely surprised on what people will tell you. Just ask the questions, okay? Be genuinely curious, like, actually care. Try to understand where they're coming from. So here's a couple of examples of how you can go about doing this. Again, this was from the client that I was working with selling lead generation. Like, hey, I want to scale up to 150k per month, right? This was the call he had, and he just accepted that, okay, cool, everybody likes to do that, and just moved on. You need to ask why that. Oh, 150,000 per month sounds like a pretty, you know, came up with that number pretty quickly. Like, where does that number come from? Why 150,000 per month. Just get a why. Like, why this number? And if they give you something basic, like, oh, I think it's really doable with what we have. Yeah, I want to get to 150,000 per month, because I just think I can. That's not a real driver. So what you do is you can give a bit of pushback. And what this does is it shows them that their answer, their goal, it's not obvious, because it really isn't. And you could say something like this again. Pick whatever industry. You can say something similar. Weight loss, lead generation, biz, op, whatever it is. I mean, a lot of clinics would be happy with making 30,000 per month. So where does that drive come from to see scale? Or why is that so important to you to scale? Like, why do you want to do this? And what they'll tell you is what their drivers are. So let's say, for example, and I don't know from the call, because we didn't ask it, but let's say this person who wants to scale to 150,000 per month or needs to scale, right? Change that wishful language to 150,000 per month, why is it so important for him to Scale. Oh, because if I get more revenue coming in, that will allow me to hire people.

Okay.

That's pretty common when it comes to business owners. Oh, why are you looking to hire people? Oh, so that I can take care of, like, the administrative stuff and I can get my time back. Okay, sit there and take a look at a situation. Right now he's at 30k per month and 150k per month. He can hire people to get his time back. So what does he not have now? He doesn't have the time he wants. Interesting. Let's ask him about that. Okay, so, like, do you. Do you feel like you don't have the time that you're wanting right now? And guess what? You're gonna find the pain, and then you can dig into that. Like, that's where the pain is. The 150,000 per month gives him time in this example. So what does he not have now? Time. So let's dive into what that him not having time is actually doing to him and the consequences if he never gets his time. Okay, let's go for something else, like a biz op. Okay, let's say you're asking the prospect. Okay. Why are you looking to start a business? Well, I mean, I've been stuck at the same income for the past five years. If you notice by that answer, it's not a positive, it's not a negative. Now, they said something like stuck. I don't know what that means. Again, we don't want to assume. So we want to ask them, what do you mean by stuck? Oh, well, I haven't gotten a raise, and it's just. I've just been at the same income level. So if you think about it, them being at the same income level innately, without us assuming that everyone just wants to make more money and everyone's not okay staying at the same income level, because these are assumptions. Did they actually say that that was good, that was bad, it was negative? It was positive? Like, no, they didn't. So we can ask them, do they see this as a good or a bad thing? I use this question all the time. I mean, I don't want to assume because everyone is different, but do you see that as a good or a bad thing? And they'll say, oh, it's not a bad thing, but this. What do you mean that? Then you can dive into it more there. Or they say, no, it's definitely a bad thing. Why do you see it as a bad thing? And then they're gonna sit there and they're Gonna tell you why it's a bad thing. So this is really, really important, especially because you'll have prospects hop on, and they're not going to be as open right away with their pain. Some people hop on, they'll spill their fucking guts. They're not going to have a hard time getting to people's real pain then. But if they're a little bit more closed off like somebody like this, you just need to not assume, ask the questions to get them to open up. It's like, oh, I've been stuck at the same income level for five years. Like, what do you mean stuck? Oh, I haven't gotten a raise. I mean, I don't want to assume because everyone's a little bit different when it comes to that. But you're not getting in the race past five years. Do you see this as a good or a bad thing? Well, why do you see that as a bad thing? And how long have you felt this way? You can just dive more and more into it. Okay, so next we're going to go frame is everything. So if you don't know what a frame is, A frame is the way that you view the world. Okay, you have a frame for social situations. It's comprised of past experiences, upbringings, beliefs, self images. So when you're hopping on a sales call, when two people meet, they both bring a frame to the conversation. The person with the strongest frame will have control over the meaning and the context of the conversation. So really what it comes down to oftentimes what I see, especially with newer reps or people who are having a harder time with A type personalities, is an A type personality. What makes them difficult for people is they have a strong form frame and they have a stronger frame than the salesperson. So what they do with their stronger frame is they take over the salesperson frame. And then that a type personality is the one who's in control of the meaning and context of the conversation. And their control over the meaning and context just makes it a lot harder for you to do the things you need to do as a sales rep. So what you need to be doing as a sales rep in order to make sure that you have the strongest frame and you don't fall into other people's frame is you need to make sure you build your frame up to make sure it is unbreakable. And in order to do that, there's a couple of things you need to be able to do. Number one, you need to know what makes up a frame in the first place. So we have expectations, beliefs, perceptions, and definition. I'll dive into each one of those. So an expectation is what probably is going to happen is so they're expecting something out of this conversation. Okay, so let's just say, for example, the person was a type person. I've hopped on a lot of sales calls. They have an expectation of how that sales call is going to go just from the previous experience. Okay, so it's someone's mental frame is what someone is predicting will happen based off of previous experiences. Expectation of someone moving forward is an expectation as a salesperson we need to have. Because going into a conversation, one of your biggest tools that you can use is just having an over, like an overall optimism about the conversation. You'll show up with the right energy. But when we're talking about breaking other people's frames or getting them to go into our frame, big thing is we need to be able to break their expectations of what a sales conversation is going to be. So that's why if you hop on and you say more basic bitch questions like, hey, where are you calling out of? I always, when I, when I talk to a salesperson, they ask me where I'm calling out of. I always know that, like when I'm training them, I always know that's how they start their calls, right? And I gotta break that right away. And the reason why you want to break their expectation is because your brain is a shortcut machine. So if they can shortcut, how this conversation is going to go, oh, this person sounds like other sales reps. I'm going to just treat them like other sales reps. I know this house is going to go. Then again, you're more likely to fall into their frame. They're not going to be as open and you're going to have a harder time. But if you break their autopilot, you get more focus. And focus is key for anything when it comes to persuasion. You cannot change someone's belief. You cannot persuade. You cannot shift anything if you do not have someone's focus. So breaking expectations creates more focus, so you cannot sound like everyone else. Okay, so next we have beliefs. What is probably true about this situation. A belief of someone, A belief of someone's mental frame is what they believe is true about a situation. This includes assumptions people make. So people believe it or not, judge a book by its cover all the time. So again, if you look like someone of lower status, of someone who doesn't have as much authority, people are going to make snap judgments about you. They're going to create Beliefs about you just based off what you look.

Okay.

So in order for you to always make sure you're breaking their beliefs is people typically are going to buy from authorities. So for whatever you're selling, you have to look like an authority. Again, I'm wearing a tight T shirt. You know, I'm authority. Like Andy Elliot. Right? Super tight. Besides the point. So it's like you have to look the part when it comes to whatever you're selling. Like, if you're selling something like, like lead generation, like you should have like a nice background and you should at least look somewhat professional.

Okay?

So like you can't look like a typical salesperson. Typical broke salesperson who's on zoom. Okay. Basic bitch, white background. And if you look back or like, and if you've seen some of my calls, I used to have this, and this makes it to where you're, you're on the back foot. So you want to do everything you can to gain status and authority. So if you have a better background, you look nicer, have a nicer camera, all these different things. It helps you break the beliefs of you just being every other salesperson. Okay, next, we have perceptions. So this is what is true about this is. So when, so what somebody believes is true about themselves in the environment through their own lens is somebody's perception in their mental frame. So for example, it doesn't mean it's definitionally true, it's just how they view things as being true. So somebody genuine believes that they're smarter than most of the world.

Right?

Like I'm smarter than all these. This will be seen as true from the mental frame. So people tend to default to these facts to make themselves feel better about who they are and what they do. Okay, example, someone is continuously reminding yourself, reminding everyone around them that they are the VP of a company and have status and authority because of it. You will see this a lot. People especially, you know, more a type personalities or, or people that have a higher ego, they will try to justify themselves to you on a sales call.

Okay.

Like, oh, like, yeah, I know a lot about this. Or, or different things like that. Like yo. No, no, I, I, for example, I was listening to a call where somebody was helping, you know, somebody start a real estate business, right? One of my clients and he, the person he was talking to was trying to feign expertise in that arena, even though he's never done anything in real estate. But he tried to tell the salesperson that he knew what they did. Like he knew, he understood how they did it. But he's never done it. So what you need to do with somebody like this is you need to be able to take them off the deep end. Like, you ask them questions that you know that they're going to have gaps in knowledge which creates doubt in their perception. And once you start to break down their perceptions, their beliefs or expectations or what that will do is their frame, their feigned expertise will collapse into yours and they'll see you as the authority. So you want to create situations where they can no longer make predictions about you. You behave in a way that they didn't expect, so they stopped making assumptions about your behavior. This caused them to not be able to resort to their solid foundations of the truth about the situation, making them more willing to open to assume to your frame. Okay, this is why pattern interrupts are super, super important. So if you notice somebody is stuck in a frame in a script, using a pattern interrupt to get them out of it is super important. Now, as far as a self perception that we need to have is that we are elite at sales and I can help anyone, enclose anyone I get on the call with. If we have this perception and we truly build it up, this is the best perception you can have of yourself and it should be unbreakable. Last as far as your frame is definition, what is absolutely true. So this is like facts. These are things you can't change. I am in Miami right now. It's cloudy as fuck. I help people with sales. Like, these are facts. But what you can do is if you change and shift people's expectations, beliefs and perceptions, you can make the definitions less important. Okay, so you can't change definitions. All you can do is just make them less important. So let's go through an example. See this all the time, especially when we're talking about lead generation and more saturated markets. Prospect's gonna ask, why should I be working with you? They're trying to push and take over the frame. So what their expectation is this person is selling something. They'll probably act like other sales reps and just try to start justifying on how we're the best at this or why you should work with us because of that.

Okay.

Their belief is they will talk to me about the futures and benefits of the service. I'll be able to ask them questions about it to determine if I should make the decision to buy. The perception is I've done this before. I'm not a pushover. I won't make decisions about things without knowing all I can and taking a few Days to think about it. I'm talking to a salesperson who needs my money. Definition. I am in a position to say no. Again, definitions do not change, but we can make it less important. So when we're talking about actually frame controlling or when somebody pushes back on their frame, what frame controlling is not. It's not controlling domineering. And you're not concerned with status or hierarchy or you're not positioning for power. You need to be composed. That means nothing is ever a problem. You need to commonly break out of their expectations and beliefs, which allows you to actually shift their perception. So if you get defensive or you try to control or you try to harm frame, like hard frame them back, you're just going to be butting heads. You're not going to be able to take control. If anything, you're just going to cause them to get more defensive. So what you need to do at this point is, let's say they say something like this, which directly challenges your frame. You need to break out of the expectation that you need their money and you're just gonna tell them what they need to hear. Well, it's like, why should I work with you? Well, to be frank, man, I'm not even sure you should. What we do, it's fairly custom. It doesn't work for everyone. So if it would help, man, I would really just need to understand like what you're even looking for in the first place. Just to see if it even makes sense. Like you're breaking out of the expectation of. I'm going to ask him this question. He's just gonna try to sell me. This is what salespeople do. You need to break out of that pattern, interrupt. And then from there, once they're not on the footing, they can't assume what you're going to say. That's when you'll swallow them with your frame. But the thing is, you need to have composure. And a really good example of composure. I would watch the Andy Griffith show again if you haven't seen it. It's old show, but this guy is sheriff in old town and all this crazy stuff happens. And this guy has the most unbreakable frame I've ever seen. Nothing is ever a problem. And he goes about it in such a way that it's very hard to disagree with him. And everyone ends up doing what he wants anyways at the end. Okay, but he doesn't do it. He's not demeaning or controlling. He is composed. That's the big thing. So when we're talking about like what would prevent people from having a strong frame. Oftentimes it's fear of social judgment, fixation on how you're being perceived and deriving your identity, confidence, self worth from social feedback. So for example, I see this with a lot of people, newer reps or people who typically aren't, you know, versed on dealing with people with more money, more A type personalities. They fear the judgment of this older person, this person has higher status and they fear the judgment of us. And it goes back to our monkey brains to where if we were judged poorly from somebody with high status in our tribe, you know, we might be killed. Okay, but just understand in today's world, it's not real. So you don't need to be fixated on how you're perceived. You're not going to see these people ever again. Typically, like if you don't sell them, like what's the worst thing that can happen? You're not going to see this person ever again. So you might as well just go for it. So, and you need to be able to derive your confidence and your self worth from your internal, from doing the internal work. Because if you get it from external, we can't really control whether somebody buys or doesn't buy or all we can do is just put ourselves in the best possible position to do so. So if you change your metric of success to did this person buy or not buy? And if they didn't buy, I'm a piece of shit. And if they did buy, I'm the best thing in the world. Okay, you see how that's a roller coaster. If you change your metric of success to did I have a good call or not? Because I'll tell you right now, I'm just as pumped hopping off a call where I fucking knocked it out of the park and the guy had $200 in his bank account and a 500 credit score, I didn't buy, then somebody. I'm more excited about that call than if I hopped on a call. This dude was a complete lay down and he paid in full. Like I'm more excited that I had the good call rather than like, you know, somebody being complete lay down. So if you change a metric of success, you have better results overall, but you'll also have a stronger frame because you're confidence comes from the inside. If you actually just doing the things you know you should do. And we're talking about that when you are in a conversation, it needs to be collaborative, not competitive. Again, this should be pretty obvious, but you shouldn't be trying to control or like push people around. You are a leader on a sales conversation, which means you're collaborative, you're doing things together, you're trying to help this person. And this always is going to come down to a strong frame is certainty. Because humans look for certainty and most lack certainty. If you talk with certainty, if you act with certainty, someone is speaking or behaving with certainty more than we are. We assumed that they couldn't have lived their life unless everyone is totally okay with this behavior. So confidence is a complete cheat code because what it does is, is it triggers in our brain of this person acts like this all the time. And if this person acts like this all the time, there is a reason nobody challenges him that, you know, he acts like this all the time. So he must get good reactions from people. So it gives you social proof without you actually doing anything other than being confident. So when you're one on one with someone, you still have the weight of the tribe behind you. If you behave confidently with certainty, it is assumed that thousands of people have already gone along with it. So you can practice coming across certain, you can practice coming across with authority, with confidence. Even though, let's say you had a thousand calls before and you came across like a weak bitch, right on a thousandth and one call, that person does not know how all your other calls went. They only know how this call is going right now. And if you act with confidence and authority, they will assume this is how you are all the time.

Okay?

Now you need to get to the point where it is how you act all the time. But you know, baby steps. So as far as the frame that you want to adopt, I call it the father slash big brother frame. Okay, so this is somebody who is composed, who's mature, you lift other people's up, you care about other people, you encourage, but you do not accept people's bullshit. You challenge people when they need. Okay, this frame assumes a confident authority with kindness, stillness and is largely unaffected by other frames.

Okay?

You deeply care about other people. You truly want to understand them, you truly want to help, but you're willing to call them out if they need to be called out.

Okay?

That is the father of big brother frame. So next we have our perception. Now, this one is very overlooked with a lot of people. So got to understand sales is leadership. You lead somebody for them. The best leaders do it for other people. If you're doing it just to make a sale, people can feel that we're social beings. We can pick up on small Little things. And you're going to be talking to like the, the back of their brain, like the million part of the brain, and they're going to get a gut feeling that something's off. So how they perceive you, how they actually see you, it affects everything that you say. Because if you have a perception in someone's eyes, like how they see you is that you just want to sell them something. The intent in anything that you say is going to be to get them to buy. They're not going to assume that you're saying it with good intentions. So the value bring is pressuring someone in to do something.

Okay?

If your perception, on the other hand, is someone who actually cares, your intent that you, when you say something is, oh, they're actually here to help. And the value you bring is helping the prospect overcome limiting beliefs. And you actually get them what they want. So you can say the exact same thing, the exact same thing. But if their perception of you is negative, you're not giving them any value. But if their perception of them, the perception of you is positive, then you give them the value. So this is something you always have to be conscious of. How does this prospect see me? Do they see me as a salesperson? Oh, man, you're really good at this. You're really good at sales. If you ever hear that, like, fucking red flags, bro, like, you did something wrong. So if they're saying like, oh, you're a really good salesperson, like they perceive you as a salesperson, the value you give is you're there to sell them something.

Okay?

The perception always needs to be you're there to help. So the value you give is you're here to help change their life.

Okay?

So when we're talking about perception, biggest thing is like we're talking about earlier. Genuinely be curious on who the person is and what they have to say. That's step number one. But then also make sure your focus is in the right place. We'll get to that. But you can also sprinkle in statements that help with your perception. When I say sprinkle in these statements again, do not say these every other sentence, okay? It's going to come across like a tactic at that point, but you want to sprinkle in different statements. That just reminds them of the fact that you know you're there to help. So things I'll say is, hey, man, I get where you're coming from. I've been in your shoes before. I can understand where you're coming from. I can appreciate you being real I want to see you win, just to see if I can help. So when you're going through these, going through the sales conversation, if you sprinkle these in, let's say for example, you ask a consequence question and this dude really opens up, hey man, I appreciate you being real. Or you're an objection handling. And they're like, yeah, it's just a lot of money. It's like, hey man, I understand where you're coming from. I've been in your shoes before, right? This is going to help your perception. But again, you can overuse these. Sprinkle these in throughout the sales conversation. That way it'll help your perception. Don't overuse them. You're going to come across like you're using a tactic. Okay, five and last is you need to be able to master your own state to shift other people's state. So understand someone's state is someone's state of mind. In sales, we're in the business of changing someone's state from non buyer to buyer. Okay, so what actually makes up someone's state? So their physiology, like their body language, how they feel their body, where their focus is at. And number three is the language that they use. This makes up someone's state. So really when you sit and you think about it, any type of sales tactic out there is just changing someone's state. Now when you're in person, you can do more of the body language, physiology change. But really all the questions that you ask, everything that you do, you're shifting their focus to where it needs to be to focus on their pain, consequences and then what, what they actually get if they change it. Or like we talked about before, you're changing their language, you're changing their limiting beliefs. So that's all you're doing. And in order for you to do this to the best of your ability, you need to be able to master your own state, to be able to consistently shift other people's. So let's break it down and again, I'm going to go high level on how to really dial this in. So number one, your focus. Watch what you allow to take your focus and be conscious of your mental diet. What I mean by mental diet is every type of information you take in affects you on some level. Whether you want to believe it or whether or not it affects you. Understand that we are performance athletes. I only make money if this deal closes. If it doesn't close, I can't feed my family. So I only focus on things that that is going to move me forward in some way because again, you'll notice if your focus is derived and it's, it's really focusing on, let's say for example, politics, Twitter, watching a lot of YouTube videos, you'll understand you won't show up to the calls in the same way. But if you allow your focus to be just focused on you getting better at sales, you improving yourself, you'll show up a lot better on calls. You'll have more energy. Rather than you focus on bullshit that takes your energy away. You focus on things that give you energy. This is always going to be really, really important. I think it's the most overlooked thing.

Okay?

Also things like meditation, visualization, these are all things that help your focus and help you focus on the right things. Okay, next is going to be your physiology. Again, I'm not going to give you a bunch of health advice. Keep it pretty simple, dude. Be active, eat clean, get sun, get good sleep. If you do this, you'll be head of 90% of people. It's that stupid. Simple. Not easy, but it's simple.

Okay.

Language. Be conscious of the language you use and the labels you put on yourself. I had a one on one call earlier this week and I had to rip into this sales guy cause he told me he sucked. I'm like, why would you ever say that about yourself? And again, like this dude is fresh into sales and this month he's on pace to make 10,000 per month, right? I think it's like his second month in sales period already at 10,000 per month. And he is telling himself he sucks because he's not at 20 yet, okay? And like he'll get there. Like the dude puts in a lot of work. But you got to be careful of the language you put on yourself because if you tell yourself you suck, like dude, what do you think that's going to do to your confidence when you're showing up? The calls right in the back of your mind like, you suck at this. So he doesn't suck, he's just getting better. And the dude's actually pretty fucking good, right? Don't want to take full credit for it, but he's, he's pretty good. And if he just tells himself like, hey man, I'm good at sales, I'm on my path to get to great, he's going to show up differently, he's going to feel better overall, which again is going to help him get to great quicker. Quick example. In my life, I told myself all the time I had a bad memory, I'd forget things. I'LL forget my keys, forget my wallet, Forgot my wallet on a plane. I've lost a ton of things. And then I was actually reading. I was reading a book about how to improve your mental state, how to learn better, all these different things. And it talked about memory. The number one hack to having a better memory, believe it or not, it's just telling yourself you have a better memory. It's not doing anything. You just change the language you use and you put on yourself that, oh, I have a better memory. Believe it or not, I have a good memory now. It just is what it is. I don't forget things anymore because I continue to tell myself I have a good memory. So you got to be careful of the language you use on yourself because that stuff can seep into your subconscious and it'll show up in ways that you're not going to like. So very Be very careful of the language you put on yourself. I would say that's probably one of the biggest lessons you can learn from this video. Okay, now when we're talking about our state, let's talk about our mentality on our calls. So especially if someone is an inbound lead or they booked in on your calendar, there is a need that they hopped on the call with so you can't fall into their frame that like, oh, you guys sent me a bunch of emails, or they'll try to put like, the. The onus on you. Well, I mean, I saw your guys. I just want to see what you guys had. Like, no, they hopped on a call for a reason. If we let them hop off the call with that same problem or limited belief that's caused their problem, you are doing them a disservice. Is somebody. If you help people lose weight and they are £500, they hop on a call and like, they hop off the call and they're doing the exact same thing. You let that person down, that person is going to die sooner because you didn't help them get over whatever is holding them back. Same thing we're talking about. You help people start a business. Like, that person isn't making the money they need because you weren't helping them get out of their fear.

Okay?

You're doing them a disservice if you do not help them overcome their concerns, their limiting beliefs, and they leave the call with the same problem they came on. Okay, so you're having a conversation, but a very skilled conversation. And because I'm a leader, they enter the conversation the way I want them to enter the conversation, not through aggression. But through skilled questions and guidance. And I don't give up on people. If I truly believe this person needs a change. And that's the key. If I truly believe, and that's when it comes down to you need to ask the questions, you need not to assume. And if you get to the end and this person's like, yeah, I just don't think this is the right thing for me, totally fine, okay, let that person off the call. But if you truly believe someone needs a change, I will fight for them as long as it takes. I will not hop off this call and they'll tell this person makes a change that they need to change, because I'll be that person that they need to make the change. Whoever they need to make the change, that's the leader, that's the person I'll be. Because nobody is going to leave the same way that they came into the call. So you got two options if you're going to hop off a call. Number one, you buy and you change. Number two, you leave emotionally fucked up. There is no other option, and I mean that. So you do this for them. Because if you truly believe that people need to change and that oftentimes people will not act in their best interest because they have these limited beliefs holding them back, you have a moral obligation to the best of your ability, through your skill set, through your skillset and persuasion, to help them make a lasting change. And if you don't do that, you're letting that person down. Okay, so now let's talk a little bit about tonality. I get asked about tonality all the time. And to just have it as simple as possible. If you master your state, you master tonality. So when you need to be confused or curious, you need to be able to. If you get into a curious state, you'll sound curious. If you get into a concerned state, you'll sound concerned. If you get into a challenging state, you'll sound challenging. Understand, these things are natural human emotions. So if you're just able to get to these emotions in yourself, you'll convey the right tonality at that point in time. You just need to know, like when you're going through the sales structure, understand what you need in that part of the sales structure. Like what type of emotion are you looking to invoke and why are you looking to invoke that? So if you're confused, like, why would you need to be confused at this point in time, let's say at the beginning of the conversation, oh, like what type of help are you Even looking for. That's so you can pull the prospect in. Oftentimes, people hop on the call, they're gonna have more of their guard up. You want to pull them in second. Like, let's say you need to be curious. Like, why do you need to be curious? So they can understand that I'm here to understand and help them. Not here to push something on to them. I'm concerned. Why? Because the prospect, if they stay in their current situation, they'll be in a bad spot. And I care about people, so I'm concerned, Challenging. Why? Because I don't want them to buy into their limitations. Because I know that it can do more. Like you said, I'm the father. I'm the big brother. Like, I know you can do more. So you challenge, you're playful. Why help people's fun.

Okay?

It's not stressful. So you can be playful. So you ask yourself with this question, what do I need the prospect to feel? And then it just comes down to. In order to you get into the state of, let's say, curious, where's your focus? Is your focus truly there to help people and understand them? Okay, then we can use our physiology. If you look curious. Oh, it's hard not to sound curious. And then we can also use our language. I'm curious what's going on here? Same thing with concerned. Like, where's your focus? If the prospect stays in their current situation, they'll be in a bad spot. Oh, that's concerning. That's where my focus is. What's my physiology? Like I look concerned. You can practice this in a mirror, like, looking different emotions. And then you can use your language. I mean, I'm concerned if this keeps going on, like, what's going to change? Right. Concern tone. Again, probably not say, hey, I'm challenging you right now, or hey, I'm being playful. But again, you still use your focus and your physiology to come across with these emotions.

Okay. All right.

Hopefully that was helpful. Drop your biggest takeaways in the comments. And if you want more training on how to get better at sales, become a top 1% closer. Go ahead and click somewhere over here. See you guys next time. Zen. Let's say, for example, you ask a consequence question and this dude really opens up. Hey, man, I appreciate you being real. Or you're an objection handling. And they're like, yeah, it's just a lot of money. It's like, hey, man, I understand where you're coming from. I've been in your shoes before.

Right?

This is going to Help your perception. But again, you can overuse these, sprinkle these in throughout the sales conversation. That way it'll help your perception. Don't overuse them. You're going to come across like you're using a tactic. Okay, five and last is you need to be able to master your own state to shift other people's state. So understand someone's state is someone's state of mind. In sales, we're in the business of changing someone's state from non buyer to buyer. Okay, so what actually makes up someone's state? So their physiology, like their body language, how they feel, their body, where their focus is at. And number three is the language that they use. This makes up someone's state. So really when you sit and you think about it, any type of sales tactic out there is just changing someone's state. Now when you're in person, you can do more of the body language, physiology change. But really all the questions that you ask, everything that you do, you're shifting their focus to where it needs to be to focus on their pain consequences and then what they actually get if they change it. Or like we talked about before, you're changing their language, you're changing their limiting beliefs. So that's all you're doing. And in order for you to do this to the best of your ability, you need to be able to master your own state to be able to consistently shift other people's. So let's break it down and again, I'm going to go high level on how to really dial this in. So number one, your focus. Watch what you allow to take your focus and be conscious of your mental diet. What I mean by mental diet is every type of information you take in affects you on some level. Whether you want to believe it or whether or not it affects you. Understand that we are performance athletes. I only make money if this deal closes. If it doesn't close, I can't feed my family. So I only focus on things that is going to move me forward in some way. Because again, you'll notice if your focus is derived and it's, it's really focusing on, let's say for example, politics, Twitter, watching a lot of YouTube videos, you'll understand you won't show up to the calls in the same way. But if you allow your focus to be just focused on you getting better at sales, you improving yourself, you'll show up a lot better on calls, you'll have more energy. Rather than you focus on bullshit that takes your energy away, you focus on things that give you energy. This is always going to be really, really important. I think it's the most overlooked thing.

Okay?

Also things like meditation, visualization, these are all things that help your focus and help you focus on the right things.

Okay?

Next is going to be your physiology. Again, I'm not going to give you a bunch of health advice. Keep it pretty simple, dude. Be active, eat clean, get sun, get good sleep. If you do this, you'll be ahead of 90% of people. It's that stupid simple. Not easy, but it's simple.

Okay.

Language. Be conscious of the language you use and the labels you put on yourself. I had a one on one call earlier this week and I had to rip into this sales guy because he told me he sucked. I'm like, why would you ever say that about yourself? And again, like this dude is fresh into sales and this month he's on pace to make 10,000 per month, right? I think it's like his second month in sales period already at 10,000 per month. And he is telling himself he sucks because he's not at 20 yet.

Okay?

And like he'll get there. Like, the dude puts in a lot of work, but you got to be careful of the language you put on yourself because if you tell yourself you suck, like dude, what do you think that's going to do to your confidence when you're showing up the calls right in the back of your mind like, you suck at this. So he doesn't suck, he's just getting better. And the dude's actually pretty fucking good, right? Don't want to take full credit for it, but he's, he's pretty good. And if he just tells himself like, hey man, I'm good at sales, I'm on my path to get to great, he's gonna show up differently, he's going to feel better overall, which again is going to help him get to great quicker. Quick example. In my life, I told myself all the time I had a bad memory, I'd forget things, I'll forget my keys, forget my wallet, forgot my wallet on a plane, I've lost a ton of things. And then I was actually reading, I was reading a book about, you know, how to improve, you know, your mental state, how to learn better, all these different things. And it talked about memory. The number one hack to having a better memory, believe it or not, it's just telling yourself you have a better memory. It's not doing anything. You just change the language you use and you put on yourself that, oh, I have a better memory, believe it. Or not. I have a good memory now. It just is what it is. I don't forget things anymore because I continue to tell myself I have a good memory. So you got to be careful of the language you use on yourself because that stuff can seep into your subconscious and it'll show up in ways that you're not going to like. So very be very careful of the language you put on yourself. I would say that's probably one of the biggest lessons you can learn from this video. Okay, now, when we're talking about our state, let's talk about our mentality on our calls. So especially if someone is an inbound lead or they booked in on your calendar, there is a need that they hopped on the call with so you can't fall into their frame that like, oh, you guys sent me a bunch of emails. Or they'll try to put, like, the. The onus on you. Well, I mean, I saw your guys. I just want to see what you guys had. Like, no, they hopped on a call for a reason. If we let them hop off the call with that same problem or limited belief that's caused their problem, you are doing them a disservice. Is somebody. If you help people lose weight and they are £500, they hop on a call and, like, they hop off the call and they're doing the exact same thing. You let that person down, that person is going to die sooner because you didn't help them get over whatever's holding them back. Same thing we're talking about. You help people start a business. Like, that person isn't making the money they need because you weren't helping them get out of their fear. Okay, you're doing them a disservice if you do not help them overcome their concerns, their limiting beliefs, and they leave the call with the same problem they came on. Okay, so you're having a conversation, but a very skilled conversation. And because I'm a leader, they enter the conversation the way I want them to enter the conversation. Not through aggression, but through skilled questions and guidance. And I don't give up on people. If I truly believe this person needs to change. And that's the key. If I truly believe. And that's when it comes down to you need to ask the questions. You need not to assume. And if you get to the end and this person's like, yeah, I just don't think this is the right thing for me. Totally fine, okay, let that person off the call. But if you truly believe someone needs a change, I will fight for Them as long as it takes. I will not hop off this call. And they'll tell this person makes a change that they need to change, because I'll be that person that they need to make the change. Whoever they need to make the change, that's the leader, that's the person I'll be. Because nobody is going to leave the same way that they came into the call. So you got two options if you're going to hop off a call. Number one, you buy and you change. Number two, you leave emotionally fucked up. There is no other option, and I mean that. So you do this for them. Because if you truly believe that people need to change and that oftentimes people will not act in their best interest because they have these limited beliefs holding them back, you have a moral obligation to the best of your ability, through your skill set, through your skill set and persuasion to help them make a lasting change. And if you don't do that, you're letting that person down. Okay, so now let's talk a little bit about tonality. I get asked about tonality all the time. And to just have it as simple as possible. If you master your state, you master tonality. So when you need to be confused or curious, you need to be able to. If you get into a curious state, you'll sound curious. If you get into a concerned state, you'll sound concerned. If you get into a challenging state, you'll sound challenging. Understand, these things are natural human emotions. So if you're just able to get to these emotions in yourself, you'll convey the right tonality at that point in time. You just need to know, like, when you're going through the sales structure, understand what you need in that part of the sales structure. Like, what type of emotion are you looking to invoke and why are you looking to invoke that? So if you're confused, like, why would you need to be confused at this point in time? Let's say at the beginning of the conversation, oh, like, what type of help are you even looking for? That's so you can pull the prospect in. Oftentimes people hop on the call, they're gonna have more of their guard up. You want to pull them in. Second, like, let's say you need to be curious. Like, why do you need to be curious? So they can understand that I'm here to understand and help them, not here to push something on to them. I'm concerned. Why? Because the prospect, if they stay in their current situation, they'll be in a bad spot. And I care about people. So I'm concerned, challenging. Why? Because I don't want them to buy into their limitations. Because I know that it can do more. Like you said, I'm the father. I'm the big brother. Like, I know you can do more. So you challenge. You're playful. Why help people's fun.

Okay.

It's not stressful. So you can be playful. So you ask yourself with this question, what do I need the prospect to feel? And then it just comes down to. In order to you get into the state of, let's say, curious, where's your focus? Is your focus truly there to help people and understand them? Okay, then we can use our physiology. If you look curious. Oh, it's hard not to sound curious. And then we can also use our language. I'm curious what's going on here? Same thing with concerned. Like, where's your focus? If the prospect stays in their current situation, they'll be in a bad spot. Oh, that's concerning. That's where my focus is. What's my physiology? I like I look concerned. You can practice this in a mirror, like, looking different emotions, and then you can use your language. I mean, I'm concerned if this keeps going on, like, what's going to change? Right. Concern tone. Again, probably not say, hey, I'm challenging you right now, or hey, I'm being playful. But again, you still use your focus and your physiology to come across with these emotions.

Okay. All right.

Hopefully that was helpful. Drop your biggest takeaways in the comments. And if you want more training on how to get better at sales, become a top 1% closer. Go ahead and click somewhere over here. See you guys next time.