Your Prospect Wants to Talk to Their Partner? Do This...

You're about to watch me coach a closer through the hardest objection in high-ticket sales in real time. No slides, no theory, just me breaking down exactly what to say and why you should say it. The objection is, I need to talk to my partner, and we're gonna go 6 reframes deep. Okay, so most closers, what they do is they try one angle, it doesn't land, and then they fold. They're booking a follow-up. In this session, I'm gonna walk you through all 6 layers that has helped me close over 90% of the prospects that I talk to. How to actually push it to money first, how to attack responsibility, the emotional argument that works especially well when you're selling to women and how to reframe words like respect using NLP. And then the moment where you just go for the jugular and see what happens. If you've ever lost a sale to this objection, watching this training will completely rewire how you handle it permanently. So let's go ahead and dive into the training. So a couple of things when we're going about partner objections, for example, the very first thing, like step number 1, okay, always push it to something else. Okay, so you want to push it to something else, whether it be money, whether it be time, whether it be fear, whether it be value. The reason is if we push it to something else and then we handle it, then that objection just goes away.

Yeah.

So we handle it like, for example, 9 times out of 10, why do they need to talk to their partner?

Finance.

Right. They need to talk to the partner about money. But then if we solve the money issue, a good chunk of the time the partner objection will go away. Not always, but a good chunk of the time. So that's why always first things first. Are we pushing it to something else first?

Yeah, that's, that's what I'm doing. So when I say why invest in yourself, but why actually, and then does it fit in your budget? And when I talk about money, I go to money.

Okay, cool. So there, there's more, there's new levels, right? So then we go into responsibility. Okay, so that is like the basic frame that I have on there of like once we get the, the the money and everything set aside, there's nothing else holding them back but partner, right? We always want partner to be the last thing. Then we go and we attack responsibility. Like, ultimately, whose responsibility is it to go out and do this thing? And then from there, like, once we tie it up in a responsibility, you always want to shift to, like, not, not talking to your spouse, but like, what conversation do you want to have? Right? Like you go to them with all these problems and a big bill to pay, or you go to them leading them to whatever outcome that they want. Which one would you rather do? Why that one? What if you don't? And if they— and then from there, I'm always, always, always, okay, I'm going to take away just any type of buyer's remorse or anything along those lines. So I'm going to diffuse it with humor. Okay.

Yeah.

And just basically say like, hey, if you go to them and like they're not on board, like we'll give you a refund, right? So it's a really easy way to get a bit of buyer's remorse back. So it's, hey, ultimately whose responsibility is it? Okay, so is it fair given it's your responsibility to go to them and have them make this decision? No, obviously. Why not? Then from there it's okay. So I'm not saying don't have the conversation, We just have to talk about which conversation are you going to have. Either go to them with a problem and a big bill to pay, or you go to them showing them how you solved your problem and you lead them to that decision. Which conversation would you rather have? Oh, I'd rather lead to that decision.

Okay.

Why though? And again, if you go to them and then they like, they tell you like, hey, no, you're going to make way too much money, buy a Porsche and leave me for a 21-year-old. Like if she tells you that, man, like, dude, we'll refund you your money. Money is not the important thing right now. The only important thing is just your commitment to change. Are you committed to change? Yes. Okay, so the next step is this. So that is the first loop. Do you feel like we're generally speaking through the first loop pretty good?

Yeah, I'm getting off. Yeah, just— okay, they just buy in. Yeah.

Okay, perfect. So this is— I would say this works 50+ percent of the time, but you're going to have people who are more entrenched in the partner objection. Now, pre-handling it is just getting more pain and getting more leverage. Bringing up partner, especially in the discovery, I've noticed just it induces more partner objections than it handles. So not really worth it in my opinion. So what's number 3? Now I have 2 other tactics that I'll go. Part of it is just going to depend on the rapport you have and how straightforward you want to be. Okay. Now, when it comes to women, I tend to go the more emotional route first. Okay. So I'm tugging at the, like, the emotional strings. So I'm going to go the emotional route. So what is that frame? Now, I loop through. For whatever reason, they're not buying through. They're not buying in. All your— this is all you're thinking about. Okay. I use one tactic and I probably got some hooks in, but they're not enough hooks in to get this person across the line. I need to take a different angle to overcome this belief. Like we had mentioned before, all it is, the belief is like a table. We're taking out the legs and the best guess, generally speaking, is responsibility. The next best guess, especially for women, is going to be the more the emotional argument. Okay, so it goes something a little bit like this. It's like, hey, I appreciate you really want to talk to your partner, right? Like, it makes sense. I do have to ask, and this is more just like on a hypothetical level. If you were looking to achieve, you know, like your dreams, and I know you really want this, if anybody, not even your partner, if anybody were to stop you from achieving your dreams, how would you feel about that person? So you need to get them to answer the fucking question because like, and what can happen? 50/50, they'll push back on it. It's like, oh no, they're not doing that. I'm like, I don't know. That's why I'm always like, I always preframe it like hypothetically, it doesn't have to be your partner, just if anyone did. So if they push back, I'm like, oh no, and I'm not saying they will. I'm just saying hypothetically, if somebody did do this, how would you feel about them? Why would you feel that way about them? Oh, because of this, this, and this. So can I be super straightforward with you without you getting upset at me? If you truly care about this and you truly care about your partner, why would you even put them in a position that you could feel that way about them? Why would you do that? And God forbid, if you had to feel that way about them, what do you— what type of relationship— like, what do you feel like that would cause in the relationship? Do you even want that possibility to even happen? Okay, so what do we need to do to make sure we're doing everything in our power, given that it's our responsibility, and we don't even put our partner in the position that we could feel this way towards them. You see how it builds? I, I need— like, the responsibility is a good one because it's like, it's very logically coherent, but I need the emotional stuff to build on top of it. So that's why, generally speaking, I won't go the emotional route first. Like, sometimes I might, but most of the time I'm going to do it after I tie off responsibility. Okay, yeah, does that make sense?

That makes sense. Yeah.

Okay, cool. Now, when you have— like, you can go this route with men as well. Okay. But, uh, I will— I'll use— usually I'll usually have this one be the last thing I do for guys. Okay. The, the one I generally speaking, like, after I go responsibility is I'll talk about trust. Now, this one in general does not work as well on just women, just because relationship dynamics are going to be a bit different. Yeah. So what we're really attacking, we're like with, with 3A, we're attacking the emotional argument. Why would you, why would you even put them in a position for you to feel this way about them? With 3B, we're really attacking the idea of why does your partner not trust you to make these decisions by yourself? Okay. And the reason, if they're honest, and this is a very, very straightforward. Okay. So this is why I'm not going to go to this right away because it's very straightforward and it cuts to the heart of the fucking issue. But if you need to get somebody across the line and it's a partner objection, you need to cut to the heart of the issue. So we talk about trust. So if they're like, oh no, I just, I need to talk to her, I need to talk to her. It's like, yeah, dude, I get where you're coming from. Why do you feel like for you that your wife doesn't trust you to make these decisions by yourself and trust your judgment? It's like, oh no, she does trust me. Well, hey man, like if she really did trust you, you wouldn't have an issue like actually making these decisions without her. And I can appreciate that right now you don't feel like you can, So why do you feel like there's not that trust there? Okay. Yeah. So I'm cutting to the heart of the issue. Why is this trust not there? Then I'm going to go like, that's, that's just bridging into it. Then I'm going to go even a step deeper. It's like, hey, man, can I just be super straightforward without you getting upset at me? Now, you don't always have to use that phrase. But that's a real easy phrase to start to talk directly at somebody without them getting— okay, so I'm always going to be like, hey man, can I, can I be super straightforward with you without you getting upset at me? They're like, yes. Hey, if I was your wife, I wouldn't trust you either. But it's because how you've shown up to this point. How are we ever going to show her we can be trusted? If we never do the actions and we never start making the money we truly need to make to make sure her mind's at ease and she can actually trust that we can make these decisions, how are we ever going to do that if we don't show her? What if you never show her? What if she never trusts you on the level that you need to for the rest of your life? Yeah, are you gonna allow that to happen? So what do we need to do to show her you can be trusted? Okay, so that is the blanket framework. Now, other things that I can do to bridge into this, I will— and since you— and maybe just because like you are in a different country, maybe you need to use a different example, but I'll use like Warren Buffett as an example. So I'm like, hey man, so this can be something to bridge into the— to bridge into the frame. I was just like, hey man, can I make a suggestion, dude? So do you feel like Warren Buffett has to go and talk to his wife about the investments he makes even though they're worth billions of dollars? Like, no, right? Because like, yeah, because he's got that, right? Like she trusts him. So why do you feel like your wife doesn't really trust you or you don't feel comfortable enough with that level of trust to make this decision without her the way like someone, somebody like Warren Buffett would? So it's a, it's an easy way using an example to bridge into it or using an example if we get pushback allows you to go ahead and just make it make a little bit more sense. Okay. So any questions on this in terms of attacking the partner objection?

No questions. This is really good. Do you, do you have it typed out somewhere so I can just study it?

Or yeah, I have it, uh, yeah, I have it typed out. If you go into the, the school, I have it under like the partner.

Okay, great. All the frames, the free frames, I'm pretty sure they should be there.

If they're not, just tell me and I'll, I'll, I'll find— I have them somewhere. Um, okay, okay. So those are like, generally speaking, the, the way I'll go about it. And for example, if I have a guy and like very rarely do they ever break out of this trust thing. But if I can't get them on the trust thing, then I'll go the emotional route. For women, generally speaking, the trust thing, it doesn't make as much sense. Okay. Just because of how relationship dynamics are. So I normally don't really— I don't, I don't really use that on women. It's just, you know, push it to something else, responsibility and emotional. And then from there, if all else fails, okay, after we made like logically coherent arguments, there's really nothing for them to actually say or do to get out of it. We just go straight to fear. So 4 is just like we just go straight to fear and uncertainty. Okay. And that's all we're handling at that point of like, hey, bro, we both know you should do this. What's really holding you back? And we're just pushing it to fear and we just, you know, do, you know, the different fear reframes, continue to raise the intensity, and then we're just going for the sale.

Yeah.

Okay.

And after that, we're just gonna— we're lost.

Well, it's like after that, right? Like, if I— if generally speaking, this is what I'll do on like fear reframes, right? So I have— I'll do 3 to 4 fear reframes, okay? And then from like each time, the intensity is raising. Okay, like I'm raising intensity, like just more like just daddy's home energy.

Yeah.

Okay, so like by the end, like I'm fucking bullying these people into it, but it's like it always needs to come from the place of like, uh, they're, they're your younger brother.

Yeah.

Do you have siblings?

A big sister, no, no brothers.

Okay, do you have like little cousins or some shit like that?

Yeah, but my relationship isn't the best with them, so—

Yeah, no worries. The way you got to think about it is— Yeah, no, no, no. The way you got to think about it is like if you truly cared about somebody, but it's like you don't accept their bullshit.

Yeah, I have a friend, I know him for like 16 years, so I bully him sometimes.

And I'm pretty sure you can say some pretty fucking straightforward and raucous shit and get away with it because he knows you care about him.

Yeah, yeah, I can.

That's, that's the understanding. Like, that's the frame we take up. It's yes, we increase the intensity. Yes, we're a lot more straightforward, but it's always for their best intention at heart. Okay, that's how it comes across. That's how we can say pretty raucous shit without having the stink on it. Like, honestly, I don't care whether the person buys, whether they don't buy. I'm just going to hold up a mirror and tell them what needs to be said. And because I don't care whether they buy or don't buy, they don't— there's not a stink like I need something from them. Like, I don't care.

Yeah.

Like, I care about them. I don't care about the sale. So that's how you can say, like, pretty straightforward stuff without the stink. So you just want to make sure, like, you don't have the stink after the 3 to 4 free reframes. And to be fair, you can do this You know, fucking for like 3+ hours. Okay. If you wanted to, like, I'm not. Well, you just keep looping. You just keep going.

But what do you mean? Just the same reframes again and again?

Or? Yeah, no, you use different reframes, right? It's cause like each reframe, if you really are doing what you should be doing, you're tying it down, you're getting pushback, you're getting the buy-in, like each of them would probably at least take 10 minutes. Right. You going through everything. So you can just— once you get to a certain point, you stop like using like, you know, perfect reframes and you just start talking very directly at them and still making the same thing where you're still using the reframes and you're still using the same type of structure where it's, you know, like the reframe Binary. Okay, then you— what?

No, I'm— this is what happened like a week ago.

Yeah.

So I just want to say it. I did all the frames and then I did the, the, the last frame so I can be really straightforward to him. And I said, okay, can I be honest with you without being upset with me? Yeah, of course. And then, and then he said, uh, I said, okay, when you go off this call, 10% of the people that actually talk to their partner come back and buy. 'You're not one of them. You're gonna— you're gonna be a loser your entire— if you're going off this call, you're never gonna do shit, and you're just gonna stay in this loop, and not gonna lie, you're going to be a loser.' And then he said, 'Yeah, okay, that's true,' and then he bought. So that's something. I don't know.

Yeah, and it's like, when you have that level of rapport, you can get away with shit like that. And that level of straightforwardness Some people need that. So that's why I won't, I won't sit here for 3 hours. I'll do 3 to 4 reframes. And then again, if you need to, a lot of the reframes I'll use are like, yeah, the reframes I have back there, but a lot of them I'll come up with like on the go or like just something I've thought through before. And it's just using the same type of framework. It's a reframe, binary option, why that one, consequence, sale. Okay, just like the framework that I have back there. So it's the same thing. It, it really helps to have like a, like you thinking through a lot of these things by yourself in terms of like how you think. Because if you can convey how you think, you'll come across very authoritative and you'll come across very convicted rather than just because a lot of the reframes are how I think, right? And it's like they're great to use someone else's reframes, but ultimately you want to get to the point where they're your reframes. This is how you think. This is how you view the world. Even though it might be very similar to the way that I view the world, you're going to say it in a different way and it's going to come across in a different way and it's going to come across much more authentic to you. So that's what we do there. After 3 or 4 reframes, then I'll just go the nice versus kind. Okay, so you can use a ton of different examples of what this is. It's just like I go through, I realize I'm not getting anywhere. I'm like, hey man, can I, can I share you a quick thing? It's, it kind of reminds me of like the difference between being nice and being kind. If we're out of the bar and we're talking to some girls and if my breath stank, if you're nice, you wouldn't say anything to me because you'd be worried about what I would think and you'd be worried about any type of repercussions. Another, on the other end, if you're a really good friend and you are kind to me, You'd pull me to the side and you say, hey bro, your breath stinks. Here's some gum. Let's get back in there. Let's talk to the honeys. Right? Do you mind if I'm a little bit kind right now? So you, you show them the difference. Be nice versus being kind. Because the stuff that you said to him, like, hey bro, you're going to be a loser for the rest of your fucking life if you don't do anything about this. That's when you just, you go for the jugular. You just, you just go for it. Yeah. Okay. Whatever it is that you have that is like, you know, you're like, you're talking directly at him. Like, you just, you just go for it. And like, it's buy or die situation, especially in a B2C environment. Those guys aren't coming back. You know, they're not coming back. They're not coming back. So it's buy or die, nice versus kind. It's a really easy way to then transition into, hey, I've done my 3 to 5 whatever fear reframes. I'm not getting anywhere. Let's just fucking go for the jugular and see what happens. Right. You'll get a couple of people to hang up on you. They'll complain. Doesn't fucking matter. If you're not getting any complaints ever, you're not going hard enough.

Yeah, right.

So you'll find the line. Okay, so don't be nasty towards people, but you get to be direct to people if they need to hear it, if it's in their best interest. So that is going to be the structure there. Any questions on all that?

No, the part, the last one is, I know that one, but the partner is really good. So the, okay. I didn't look at partner yet in the school. So this is great because I was just focusing on fear and money this week. So it's going to be really nice.

Fair enough.

This will help.

In terms of partner, is there any, any type of thing like you, you run into that you have like a hard time? Is it just like, oh, like when they— I get pushback, I don't know where to go?

Sometimes it's just they say, yeah, but I, I know of the— it's just a respect. They say respect and they just— I want to respect my, my, my partner. But so sometimes I don't know where to go from there because it's not trust. They say, yeah, but they trust me, I can do it. And if I want to, I can do it right now. But it's just respect. I'm like, fuck you.

Yeah, go fuck yourself. Okay, so we're talking about respect. So respect equals waning and talking. Okay, so this is their belief. So this is why, like, again, these things are going to be the things that's like most common. But when it's something like this, like, hey, respect equals waning and talking to my partner. So we understand what this is. This is the fundamental understanding of what their belief is. Okay. So if I hear this on a sales call, what I'm really wanting to do is I need to change what the meaning of respect is. So I need to change. And this is just so you can conceptually understand it. Okay. Okay. Respect actually equals like going for it. Okay. So this is what I need to make. So when you go back into the objection handling, you can do a lot more in terms of like the study on like changing the meaning or changing the cause, the NLP techniques back there. But this is the fundamental shift we need to make when you hear something like this. So when somebody says like, hey, I like our frames aren't landing, we just really need to pay close attention to their language because we're probably saying the right things with the wrong words. And that's an issue because they could, you know, think something about the words we're using that's totally different than what we mean by them. So that's why we're always really like, we always want to be really big on using their words. So if they said something like this early on, when I'm like handling partner, I'm going to layer it into these things, right? I'm going to layer it into these things in terms of instead of just like trust, right? Like, why does, like, why do you feel like you don't have the respect from them and the trust from them to be able to just do this by yourself? I'm going to add in the word respect. Because that's what they're focusing on. Okay. But let's just talk about it by itself. So for example, when you said that guy, it's like, oh, it's, it's not a trust thing. They trust me. It's more about a respect thing. The way we got to think about it is like, how do I change the meaning? And generally speaking, how I'm going to change the meaning on how they go about viewing this and their belief oftentimes is going to be connected with what they want. Okay, so for that person in particular, what did they want? Like, what was the outcome? Why do they want to change?

So she was working, uh, from Monday to Friday at the location. She did, uh, customer service, and she wanted to, you, to learn appointment settings so she can make more money, be location-free, and travel the world and just not be in that slur of 9 to 5 every day. And she didn't see herself doing that for the rest of her life, and it was making her upset.

So it sounds like she, she just wants like more freedom, right? Um, married?

Uh, no, boyfriend for like 5 years.

Okay, just like 5 years. Um, are they— do you know if like— she didn't mention anything about family, did she?

No, she didn't.

Okay, so then that one's gonna be a little bit interesting.

Actually, she did, she did, she did mention about, but it was the purpose. Her, her father was really, uh, successful and he had a lot of, uh, houses. He said houses, you, you sell your houses, uh, real estate. Thank you. And she can just get houses from her father, but she doesn't want to get houses from the father because she wants to earn the respect of the father that she can do it on her own. That was one of the things as well.

That is the key. Cool. Okay, so we just need to shift, right? Like, so the first thing I was thinking about, if I didn't have any type of leverage, Right? Because a lot of the times the people you're talking to, when they talk about respect, they talk about family. Oftentimes the reason they want to do things is for their family. Okay.

Yeah.

They want to give their family a better life. So is it actually respectful to your family, you not doing the things you need to do and you not making the money you want to be making? Generally speaking, when I hear respect, that's where my mind goes immediately. With this conversation in particular, you didn't have that leverage. You didn't have that hook in there. 'Cause it just, she didn't have it. She didn't care about it. So again, it's about having the flexibility. Now, part of it as well, if like, let's just say, for example, there's two ways that my mind goes immediately. If I didn't have the father information, I would shift to like, respect is taking care of yourself, right? It's like, Ultimately, I appreciate like you want to go ahead and respect them, but how does not respecting yourself and not respecting your dreams on getting to XYZ outcome actually give them the respect? How does it do that? I'm going to attack why she needs to put— like, again, with women, a lot of times it's the emotional argument, especially with partner. Okay, so that's where my mind goes immediately. But with the father information, because it sounds like if, if respect is a big thing that comes up over and over again, let's just use it. Like, let's just use the fuel that she gave you. So the, the very first thing, I'll be like, okay, well, how would this be any different from the respect you're trying to get, like, from your father? Because it seems like you want to be able to do things, like, by yourself and show the people around you, like, you're capable. So how are you going to show them the respect and get the respect that you truly deserve if you can't make this decision on your own and actually show them that you're worth respect. I would loop in the respect from her boyfriend and the respect from her father into one thing, and it has to be, oh, you have to go ahead and make this decision by yourself and get to get the outcome.

Yeah, this is really good, but you have to— so I wouldn't think about this on the spot. So when I heard this, I'm like, she would have, she would have bought.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, and it's good to— and this is what you should always do. This is what you should always do. And, and just understand, thinking like this, it is a skill, it is a muscle, and it is something that you build over time. So each, each time, each time I would get an objection, like, I'll go back and I'll like, uh, I'll do call reviews on objections that I didn't overcome, and then I'm going to look at like what the actual belief was and, um, like what the belief was. And I always want to put it into A equals B. Okay? And then I'll go through and I'll see how I can change this and what's the most effective way to change this. So that way I'm like, this is the way now I think about beliefs. Do I need to change A? Do I need to change the equal sign? Do I need to change B? That's why studying the NLP techniques, we're talking about like changing the meaning, Okay, so we change the meaning. Okay. I think like 2 is changing the cause. 3 is like logical levels. I always forget number 4. Okay. But actually going through and studying this stuff, you start to understand exactly how we attack these beliefs. The easiest ones to do are always going to be changing the meaning. Right, of like, what does respect actually mean? And changing logical levels. Okay. Hey, we're not even talking about respect right now. We're talking about the person who we want to be. Two easiest things to do. So if you're ever lost and you're like, oh, I don't really understand this belief, just change logical levels, right? It's the easiest one to always do. It's like, hey, we're not talking about this. We're talking about that. Hey, we're not talking about like really respect right now. That's not even the main focus. The main focus we should be looking at right now is going to be the type of person who we're going to be when we go to bed tonight, because we have two options and you just go right into it. So you just, you basically, you push them into an objection that you're much more comfortable handling.

All right.

So hopefully this training has been helpful. And if you want help from me one-on-one to go ahead and get to a point where you're doubling, tripling what you're doing, check out the first link in the description. If not, leave a comment on your biggest takeaways and I'll see you guys on the next one.