670 Why You’re Afraid to Be Seen (Even Though You Want to Be Known on a bigger scale)

Unstoppable Women 2025 is officially happening. And if you are a woman in business who's ready to grow, stretch and get in the room with other ambitious women, this is your event. It's a full day high energy experience happening on Friday 29 August in Brisbane at the Brisbane Convention and Entertainment Center. And it's for the women who are tired of doing it alone are ready for real strategy, real conversations and real momentum. This isn't your average get inspired and take notes kind of day. It's not a boring sit down conference. We're talking powerful speakers, curated connections, breakthrough moments, high energy performances that will stay with you long after the day is done. If you've been craving connection, clarity, Next level strategy in a room full of women who really get it, you're going to want to be there. Grab your ticket now via the link in the show notes and I cannot wait to see you at Unstoppable Women. Welcome to the Next Level Life podcast with Christine Corcoran. This podcast is made for the powerhouse business women who are ready to ignite their fullest potential. This is where we will dive deep into the mindset, break and sprinkle in some pick up the butt motivation so you can scale your business with confidence and clarity. Whether you're craving more income, impact or inspiration, this podcast will be your ultimate resource for all things next level. Listen in as we have authentic conversations with game changing female entrepreneurs as we reveal the secrets of what it takes to rise and thrive. So go ahead, ignite your inner fire and let's get you taking massive aligned action. Are you ready to elevate? Let's go. Welcome back to the podcast. I am now back home on the Gold coast after spending an incredible week in Melbourne with my book launch parties and oh my God, it was just incredible. So incredible. I feel like everything that I had in my mind of what they were going to be was very much what they were and they were also different. Like it's so interesting how when you do things and the way that you plan them out in your head and then how they come to life, there's always some magic that you just didn't expect. And I must say that there was also an identity upgrade that happened in the process of it because there was such an interesting contrast from Brisbane to then Melbourne to then Warrage. Go. And so I want to share a little bit about that as we dive into today's topic because it's very much in connection with being seen and being comfortable being seen because it is super Uncomfortable, you know, being in that situation. And so when it comes to being known on a bigger scale, we have to be willing to be seen. And if you're afraid to be seen in your greatness, afraid to be seen in being celebrated, afraid to be seen speaking on certain topics, then that's always going to hold you back from being that go to person in your industry. So I want to talk to you about this today and I want to share with you a couple of stories that may resonate with you and also a word of encouragement because it's all in the action. My whole goal with writing this book was to help people get out of their comfort zone, to work through the imposter syndrome and challenge themselves to be seen to put themselves out there, to go after incredible opportunities. And in the process of writing this book, I've also come up against so many different opportunities, so many different challenges that have caused an identity upgrade. And then I did not expect that to also happen when I launched the book. I don't know why I didn't think of it, but like, it just wasn't even in my mind of like, oh, I'm then going to have challenges or hesitations or insecurities about calling myself an author, then about calling myself a bestselling author. And I was definitely challenged on that few times over the last week and a half. So in Brisbane, my beautiful friend Rosie, who interviewed me for the book launch party, she introduced me with the titled best selling author. And as I was walking to the front of the room, it was, I was so awkward. I was so awkward. And I watched back that video and was like, oh my gosh, that was so awkward. And I even said it out loud. I was like, oh my gosh, it feels so awkward to be introduced. And I was like, why? Like, why is that? Like, everything that she said is true and yet I hadn't upgraded that part of my identity for it to feel part of who I was. And so it felt uncomfortable. Almost like a suit I was putting on that was the wrong size. Right? And so it was, it was so fascinating that through that conversation and through the conversations that I even had on that night, I was really nervous. I did not know what to expect. I felt uncomfortable with the attention being on me. And so what I mean by that is, and it might sound random for me to say that because you've probably seen me speak in other places before, you've seen me speak in, on stages and you've seen me speak on other people's podcasts and you've seen me speak at events and workshops, and yet this was different. This was different because all eyes were on me for the work that I had done, for celebrating me, for getting this book out into the world. And that felt really uncomfortable because normally what I'm doing is I'm standing in front of a room and I'm teaching. I'm focused on the audience, right. I'm not focused on me. And a lot of the questions were very much personal questions about my journey and about how I've experienced the imposter syndrome and felt really vulnerable. And so with that, I felt exposed, and with that became fear and so anxiety and nerves. And so that first event in Brisbane, I was really nervous the whole time, and I felt uncomfortable even talking about certain things. And I was having, like, the inner chatter go crazy, because I was like, oh, that I want to hear this. And then when I read a section of the book, I read it so fast because I was like, people don't want to hear me read. Like, this sounds ridiculous. And like, are people going to get bored? And at the end, everyone was like, no, that was a really nice part of the night. But also, you spoke really, really fast. And so I learned from that. And so when I watched back the videos the next couple of days and then I headed to Melbourne for the next event, I was like, okay, I'm going to approach this differently. And secondly, I know what to expect now. And I think that that's probably when, you know, it was a whirlwind bringing the book to life. And so I had this. These reference points of the first event. Knowing exactly what to expect. Yes, it was going to be different. Different people. My family were attending the Melbourne one, and I also had someone who was interviewing me that we're not super close. Like, whereas Rosie, like, we're super close and we can. And we've spoken in front of rooms before, and so we bounce off each other really easily. And with Jackie, I'd only had been interviewed her with her on a podcast, so we hadn't spent a lot of time together. So it was one of those things that I was like, also not sure what she was going to ask. And yet I did not feel as nervous at the Melbourne event. And it's honestly because your brain has new reference points of, like, you survived, you did okay, you can do better, and you know what to expect now. And so even, like at the Brisbane one, I was like, so awkward with signing people's books. Like, what is with that? Like, I'm not sure if anybody Else noticed it, but it felt really uncomfortable. And I even kept voicing it. I was like, I feel so weird. Like, does anybody really want to sign my book? Like, it felt like I really wasn't owning the new identity that I was stepping into. I wasn't owning that I was willing to be seen, that I was seeing myself as an expert, because even that doesn't feel. That shoe doesn't fit right. And I said this at the Melbourne event. Like, actually. And I said, at the Warrior event, you don't have to call yourself an expert. And the thing that I kept saying to myself when I was writing the book, because I kept coming up against that expert status kind of imposter syndrome again and again, I asked myself, like, can you contribute to this conversation? And the answer was always yes. And so I had to bring myself back to that and in order for me to stay focused. And so it felt uncomfortable to even consider myself as an expert. And even when I talk about other experts talking about this or other successful people really talking about imposter syndrome, I brought that to the surface and actually shared how I think about things differently. And so what ended up happening is that over the course of running those three events and being interviewed and speaking about it, there was a shift in my confidence. There was a shift in my ability to acknowledge and accept the fact that I have a written book. And it was so funny because my friend Carissa, who interviewed me on the. At the Warrior event, she was like, holding the book up and she's like, but you are. You are an author. Like, look, you wrote this. This is a physical book that you wrote. It's got your name on it. It was hilarious. It was like a. She was being funny, but, like, it made me stop and be like, yeah, actually, like, I've got to stop ignoring it or downplaying it. And I think that that's one of the things that when it comes to becoming a go to person your industry becomes, when it comes to, like, owning your space and taking up space, you've got to own your accomplishments. And women have this really awful way of going about downplaying their own successes and their own accomplishments. So they use language like just or only right? Or we downplay it or we try to, like, make it seem not such a big a deal. And yet writing a book is a bloody big deal. Like, it takes so much time and energy to create something that's actually worthwhile reading. And the beautiful feedback that I've been getting about the fact that it's really well written and then it keeps you engaged, and it makes you want to read the whole thing at once. Like, one of the most magical moments that I had at the Melbourne book launch was, well, there's. There was many, but, like, one of the biggest ones was my niece was there, who's 19, 20, and she was, like, so excited. She's like, I can't believe you've written a book. And she's like, I can't wait to read this. And she said that I've actually started writing a book and I haven't told anybody. And so we started talking about it, and I was like, well, let me know if you need help with the publishing process. Like, let me know if you have any questions, because I'm here for you. And I like, you can absolutely do this. Like, if I can do this, you can do this. And she was so blown away by the fact that someone in her family has written a book, and it was so beautiful to have that conversation. And then the next day, no, maybe it was like, two days later, I got a message from her, and she was like, I've already finished the book. And I was like, what? How? And she's like, I literally finished the book. I absorbed it. I got so stuck into it, and it was so well written, and it just kept me engaged, and every part of it was so relatable. And. And she's like, it's so interesting how you and I think so alike. And I was just so blessed by that beautiful conversation to be like, I can't believe this has made a positive impact on my beautiful niece. And, like, when you have the concept of writing the book and who you think about reading it, like, I wrote it for the high achievers. I wrote it for women in business that are pursuing big lives. And I did not think about the smaller impacts that it would have. And then at the Melbourne event, I actually ended up crying because I read the acknowledgments, and the acknowledgments are really hard to read because I took the time to really think about who I wanted to acknowledge in the process of writing this book. And obviously, my parents are really important to me. And so, obviously, I lost my dad recently, a couple of years ago, and saying that out loud and being like, I hope that they're proud of me made me, like, fully tear up. It was so, so full on. Anyway, so it was such an incredible experience, going to Melbourne, running two book launch events, having so many incredible conversations with incredible people, getting to sign people's books, celebrate the book and be celebrated. There was this absolute identity upgrade of really owning and feeling confident and being like, yes, I have a best selling book, Yes, I am an author. And being willing to receive that celebration, I think that's the other part of the identity upgrade is that something that I'm really working on at the moment is really being open to receiving. And that receiving piece is really massive when it comes to all forms of abundance. But we're so usually quite uncomfortable when it comes to receiving. So I felt super uncomfortable at the Brisbane event being celebrated and then the Melbourne one started to become less awkward or less uncomfortable. And then by the time I got to Warragul, I was like owning it and that was so fun. So I wanted to share that with you because in the action creates reference points for your brain to be like, it's totally safe for me to receive this. It's totally safe for this to happen. And you create these safe spaces once you've experienced something and then you do it again and again. So I want you to know this from a place of whatever you're scared to do. Taking the action will create the reference points in order for you to feel less uncomfortable and more confident. And I know that seems really trite to say, but sometimes we need that reminder. We need that reminder. It's natural for you to not feel comfortable in new spaces and new environments and new experiences. So for me, even though I've run many events before, even though I've spoken in front of people before, I still felt super uncomfortable because the focus had shifted more to be more of a personal conversation rather than a business conversation. And so I really hope that everyone that attended the events found what I shared valuable. And I hope that they absolutely love the book. And I'm so excited to see the impact that this book will have on all the beautiful people that are reading it. If you haven't got your copy yet, you can absolutely grab your copy. I'll pop a link in the show notes, grab your copy. You can find it on Amazon and all the big book retailers as well. So grab that and let me know what you think. And there are incredible resources in part of the book as well. So just FYI, if you are reading it and you don't know what I'm talking about, there is a link that I mentioned as part of the superpower activations that give you access to multiple bonuses, one being a recorded visualization that I created as part of your future self upgrade. Secondly, the superpower activations built out in a beautiful PDF. So that way you can make sure that you're implementing what I'm teaching you as well as 32 mindset reframes as well as a private podcast. This has 12 powerhouse episodes and God, I had so much fun recording that. That podcast is. It's a private podcast. You can only access it via the link in the book, so make sure you grab your copy and that podcast is your next level unlocked. So we dive into all the strategies because we do so much of the mindset work in the book, I then dive into the strategies. All right, so today I want to talk to you a little bit more about why you're afraid to be seen, even though you want to be known on a bigger scale. This is a conversation I've been having a lot recently, especially women who are joining the next level Mastermind. There is an element of hesitation, procrastination that is truly just showing up as fear, right? We have fear around showing up confidently and being able to own our space, but also to show up on a more regular basis or start to communicate from that place of confidence and owning your message and using polarizing content to really show your points of difference. So, and the reason why we do this is to become their authority. So if you've been saying that you want to be known, you want to make an impact, you want to attract aligned clients and you want to grow your visibility, putting yourself out there is an action step that creates that result, right? So you know you have to put yourself out there. But what are the actual hidden fears that are keeping most ambitious women playing small? I'm going to talk about that today. So if you find yourself self sabotaging, shrinking or procrastinating on those visibility activities and opportunities, then this episode is definitely for you because you cannot become the go to authority in your industry if you are hiding. You've got to take up space, you've got to own your expert status, and you've got to speak from confidence from that aligned congruent space of embodiment. So here's some of the signs that could be showing up that you are afraid of being seen. One, you get stuck in perfecting or overthinking instead of just getting it out there, right? Instead of just hitting publish, hitting post, getting it out there. If that is showing up for you, then there's some type of fear underlying that that's causing you to not put it out there, right? To not be seen. And this is normal, right? It's normal for you to experience visibility fears because especially with social media, because when you're putting yourself out there. You're opening yourself up to the judgment, you're opening yourself up to the rejection. You're opening yourself up to possible negative consequences because we know that it's going out to the masses. Right? Another, another sign that you could be hiding is if you're over prepping before launching. This is a constant one that I see so much, and I actually helped a client of mine through this in the next level, Mastermind, the last round, she had a lot of visibility fears, and we actually had to uncover what the core fear was and shift it so then she can show up more confidently. And now she doesn't even overthink. She just like, yep, that's great. Put it out there. Yep, that's great. Put it out there. And she's showing up really consistently now, which is amazing. The third one is if you keep staying in your safe zone of referrals instead of actually marketing yourself effectively, if you're marketing still just to your ideal client, but you're not owning your own thought leadership, that's another one that I see on a regular basis. And the last one there is like not put. Not putting yourself out there, actually not putting yourself forward to grab opportunities. So I had this as well with another client of mine in the next level, Mastermind. I gave her an opportunity that I found, and it was because I went and looked for the opportunity. A lot of the time we sit and we wait and we think, oh, I'll be asked to speak at these events or I will be, you know, invited to be a part of this thing. No, a lot of the time those opportunities come from you pitching yourself. So if you are not pitching yourself, if you're not creating those relationships, if you're not building that network and putting yourself forward and being like, hey, I can add value to your audience, I can add value to your community. Have you thought about having this on your podcast? I could absolutely speak to this. By you putting yourself forward and going after those opportunities. That's how you get seen. You cannot expect more and more people to find you if you're not willing to put yourself out there and put yourself, make yourself open to that rejection. Because without asking, you never ever get a yes. You have to keep asking. So maybe you also experience this in like the push, pull kind of phase. And we're really wanting to be seen, but we have a fear of being judged or we're procrastinating on doing all the things that we're keeping ourselves busy instead of actually focused on doing the more needle Moving activities. So that's where it's important that you acknowledge, like, where am I sabotaging myself? Am I keeping busy behind the business because I don't want to show up on camera? Or am I telling myself I have to have a full face of makeup or whatever? Like, there's so many filters out there anyway. That's not even a real excuse when we have those subconscious fears of, like, if more people see me, I'm going to be rejected, or more people see me, I'm going to be judged, I'm going to be called out, I'm going to be seen as a fraud. Like, all of this is normal when you're putting yourself out there more. But just like I shared with, like, the confidence building that happened from putting myself out there over those three events is that for you to become more comfortable, you have to show up, you have to create new reference points where your brain's like, oh, it's safe for me to show up and be seen. If we're not creating those reference points, that you will always stay in your comfort zone. Right? Because you're wanting to avoid feeling uncomfortable, feeling the fear and doing it anyway. So what other fears holding you back? What are you telling yourself? What's your brain throwing at you that's causing you to feel that you're not safe to put yourself out there? Are you fearing being told you'll be wrong? Are you fearing that people will reject you? Are you fearing that you're going to get trolled? Are you fearing that you. You won't be seen as the expert? Are you fearing that you will be judged, rejected? Like, really uncovering that fear is so important because otherwise you will not move beyond it. We've got to recognize that that fear is going to show up. We've got to reframe the thought patterns that we're having around it, right? There is absolutely going to be positives from you putting yourself out there. And if you just keep focusing on the negatives, you will always keep yourself stuck in fear. We've got to reframe that to be like, look at the impact that you could be making. You've got to be part of, like, even actually, Even actually had a recent client say to me, like, oh, there's just so much noise, right? There's just so many people talking about. And I just don't want to be seen as one of those people that is just adding more to the noise. And I was like, but if what you are saying is going to be valuable to your ideal client, it's going to make a positive impact, then you owe it to your ideal client to share it, right? You are not going to be part of the noise if you start to consider what you're putting out there and putting valuable pieces of content out there. Right? Don't add to the noise. Don't just post for the sake of posting. Create incredible content that people want to listen to, people want to be a part of, people want to read. That's where you got to change the game. And you've also got to remind yourself too that if you are a genuine human person that has integrity and is doing a great job, then you also owe it to your ideal client to put yourself out there to become an option for someone to work with you. Because if you're not, they're going to go to the charlatan, they're going to go to the other people that just market themselves more consistently. And you don't want that. So you need to reframe what is going to be the best way, best thing to tell yourself in order for you to put yourself out there and challenge yourself to show up. Because without that, you're going to always keep yourself playing small and stuck. Then the next piece is like owning your thought leadership, which is honestly like a journey. We've got to feel comfortable communicating. We've got to put ourselves out there, develop our confidence. Right? Develop your confidence. It doesn't come overnight. It's not something that you're born with. You must develop it. And so over all the even, like, I found this too with the launch events, like, I was sharing different stories and I was like, oh, I really need to cement that exact story that I really want to share that is in relation to different parts of the book. Right? So it comes with practice and intentionality. And I think that sometimes people get too stuck in the prepping or the planning for it instead of just using the action that you're going to take to refine. And so the more that you do it, the easier it becomes. And so I had to, like, practice. Like the day before I went to the Melbourne event, I was rereading parts of the book. So I was like making sure that I was staying on message with what I had shared in the book and also prepping for the questions as well. But I was still taking the action is probably what I'm trying to say here. Like, don't let the visibility activities come far beyond the planning process. They need to be part of your prepping and refining. Right? So the way that I do this with regards to the book is sharing online, sharing snippets, jumping on the podcast, talking about it, and using my visibility activities to refine. So the more you do that, not only are you growing your visibility, like, my reach has grown so much in the last month. I've had so many more new followers. I'm finally getting to 5,000 followers, which I know sounds really little, but for someone who has never bought followers, for someone who has actively built my network over the years of my business, to actually get to 5,000 followers, hopefully this month is like, crazy cool. Like, and they're real, genuine people. Like, I just know, like, every time I see the followers come through, I check them out and I'm like, cool. They look amazing. That absolutely look like dream clients. So awesome that I'm attracting the right people. And if anything that comes across that followers list that doesn't does not look like an ideal client if it's a guy. And if they're not in business, usually there's like a whole bunch of spam accounts that often happen. I go straight in and I make them unfollow, follow. So I remove them as a follower. So I'm actively removing people from my following now. I could not do that. I could just literally fill my audience with people who are random, just I know that are never going to interact or engage with my content just for the vanity metrics of like, getting to the highest numbers. But that's not going to serve the growth of my business at all, at all. So I always just go in and remove followers and then once a month I go in and clean up just to make sure that I haven't missed any and. And just remove a whole bunch of followers. So then it's actually really engaged people that are filled with my ideal client that I want to engage with, that I want to chat with. So sorry, let I digress a little bit. So coming back to, like, uncovering what your fears are, addressing those fears, reframing your mindset, and then creating opportunities for you to put yourself out there and develop new reference points for you to be seen, it is safe for you to be seen. Now, some of these fears that we've uncovered can actually come from past experiences. So a lot of the time when I'm doing NLP processes with my clients, we're uncovering one of the root causes of that fear. So usually that'll go back to childhood or go back to teenage years when we're first putting ourselves out there first, sharing our opinions and creating a new adult Persona as we're stepping out into the world, right? So we go back to those moments and release the unprocessed emotions that were connected to that experience or the belief systems that were developed from that moment, right? So we usually have experiences that then we have a belief system that gets developed in that moment where we believe something about ourselves or we believe something about the world. And then we carry that belief system into our adult years. And so when we go back and actually release that, it allows us to have a new clean slate and allows us to release some of that fear that's no longer attached to the present situation. So we can actually show up and put ourselves out there and create new reference points that it's absolutely safe to, to go after what you want and put yourself out there. So with that we create then iconic presence. It is so key when you're starting to scale your business, right? You've gone, you built your six figures, you have created a really cool calendar of amazing clients and now you want to scale it. Your iconic presence must be part of your strategy because if you want to be seen, you want to be known, and you want your sales conversions to be much easier, then having built that trust and credibility with your audience and becoming really iconic in the way that people follow you, want to be connected to you want to know who you are and what you're up to is really, really key. So working on your thought leadership as part of your iconic presence is really key in order to, for you to make scaling so much easier, right? Because when you have more eyes on your business, the conversions become so much easier. So if you're at that stage of business and you really would like support for that, because we work on your expert positioning, we work on your sales messaging, we work on your thought leadership in order for you to create that iconic presence and also the time management to support that. Because I know how busy it can get when it comes to scaling your business, then that's what the next level mastermind is all about. So we're working on your identity upgrade over our six months together. We are upgrading your identity to really own your space, to be able to be that go to person, to become known and in demand, working on all the mindset upgrades that you need in order to really step in and own that space. And then we build it into your sales strategy. We work on a 12 month sales strategy in order for you to scale your business to the next level, whatever that looks like for you with your scalable offer. So whether it's starting a scalable offer, whether it's improving the sales process of your scalable offer or whether it is working on scaling with a team. Either way, whatever it is, that's okay. I have worked with so many different people across so many different industries that I really make sure that I create a really unique sales strategy for you so then you can scale in a way that feels right for you and for your business. So if you feel called to be part of the next level Mastermind intake is currently open and we're starting on the 23rd of June, so come and check it out. The link in the show notes will give you all the information that you need and feel free to send me a DM if you have any questions. If you'd love to have a chat with me first, you're more than welcome to do that because I always love doing that as well. And I look forward to supporting you over the next six months because it's time for you to step in and own your space and be seen. Cannot wait to support you. Hope you've enjoyed today's episode and I hope you enjoy the rest of your week. Thank you for listening. And if you found any value out of this episode, make sure you hit the follow button so you get access to the episodes as soon as you they are live. And make sure you come hang out with me on Instagram. You can find me at Christine Corcoran Underscore Coach have an incredible week.