Madeline Mann shares how assuming coworkers want what you want backfired, from a vague retreat plan to an unwanted mechanical camel centerpiece. She recommends three fixes: write a personal user manual of your preferences, use DISC assessments, and run quick surveys to learn what others actually need.
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Hey everyone, this is Self made Millennial. I'm Madeline Mann and today we're talking about how to decipher the different personalities that you work with to understand exactly how to treat them the way they want to be treated. I'll give examples from my own life where I totally misjudged the wants and needs of others. It was not my best look and I will give practical advice on how to figure out what different people who you work with prefer so that you can be an exceptional manager and co worker. Now, I don't know about you, but when I was growing up I was taught golden rule, treat others the way you want to be treated. And so I took that advice with me into the professional world. And yeah, it, it was not good advice. I feel a little betrayed by it, honestly. So to articulate how treat others the way you want to be treated has bitten me in the butt professionally. Here are a few examples. I planned an entire company retreat and employees didn't need to do anything except for show up, enjoy the ride. Everything was laid out for them. But yet I had certain employees who found it very stressful that they did not have access to the full schedule events, even though I would tell them, hey, here's what's coming up next. Not having all the details gave them a lot of anxiety, which is something I personally didn't relate to. So I didn't think to make sure to take care of them in that way. The next year I made schedules. They were detailed. Most of the employees barely even looked at them. But for those who it mattered, it made a big difference. I'm just so glad that those people felt comfortable enough to take tell me that it was bothering them as well as me to notice who was feeling weird about it and make a change for the future. Another example is I was helping to throw a company party and I wanted there to be something really cool as the centerpiece of the event. And since the party was on a Wednesday hump day, I thought it would be the best to get a mechanical camel that was a challenge to ride.
I thought it was the coolest idea ever and I hoped it wouldn't be too crowded so that I would have a chance to ride it that night. Well, I'm telling you right now, I did not have any problem getting on that camel because almost no one wanted to ride it. It was empty most of the night. People seemed nervous and shy about it, and I realized maybe looking goofy holding onto a plastic camel is not something that most people are comfortable doing in a public setting. I personally could not understand why people didn't love it, but that's because I was too stuck in my own weird head to get it. So I've learned my lesson. I generally do a little bit more asking around before booking a glorious main event like that okay, so how to be better at treating others the way they want to be treated? Well, here are three things that you can start doing today. First, create your own user manual and ask others on your team to do the same. How do you like to communicate? Which situations do you thrive in? What situations make you uncomfortable? Do you love public speaking? Hate it when the whole office celebrates your birthday? You're freaked out by staplers. Write it down. The second tip is to take behavioral assessments. Now disc is my favorite one, but there's all kinds of different assessments that you and your team can take for disc. For example, if you tell me what your disc style is, I will immediately become a better communicator with you because some people want you to be extremely detailed, others will tune you out if you can't say your full idea in one sentence. And assessments like this make it crystal clear what kind of person you're talking to so you can adjust your communication style to fit them. And the third tip is Be a survey dork. I am a five time platinum survey dork myself. I am always shooting those suckers out to get feedback and it has become a huge source of awareness for me. It could even be a one question poll that you shoot off in slack like do you like yoga? See what you're working with, understand what people like or simply ask people directed questions one on one such as would you like more or less detail in this email next time? Great. So the next video for you to watch is my number one tip for giving critical feedback and it also squashes conventional knowledge. You need to have this tip in your back pocket so that you can give tough feedback to anyone. Make sure you hit a like on this video and subscribe to the channel. Thanks so much everyone. Wi Fi High five.
