Courage Comes From Trust | Simon Sinek

I think courage is external, right? The reason someone has courage to jump out of an airplane is because there's a parachute on their back. It's the external thing.

A world famous trapeze artist would never try a brand new death defying act for the first time without a net. It's the net that gives them the courage. The Navy SEALs are considered one of the highest performing organizations on the planet. And a former SEAL was asked what kind of person makes it into the seals? And he said, I can't tell you the kind of person that makes it in, but I can tell you the kind of person that doesn't make it in. He said the star college athletes who have never really been tested to the core of their being, none of them make it in, he said. The preening leaders who like to delegate everything, none of them make it in, he says the guys who show up with hulking muscles covered in tattoos because they want to show you how tough they are, none of them make it in, he said. Some of the guys who make it in are skinny and scrawny, he said. Some of the guys who make it in, you see them shivering out of fear, he said. But every single one of the guys who makes it in, when they're emotionally exhausted, when they're physically exhausted, when they have absolutely nothing left to give, somehow, some way, they're able to dig down deep inside themselves to find the energy to help the guy next to them. In other words, the reason these organizations and these people have the courage to do remarkable things is not because of their internal strength. It's because they have the absolute confidence that there is someone to the left of them and someone to the right of them that cares about them. And they all know that. And it's the quality of the relationships that we maintain professionally and personally that give us the courage to do difficult things.

Isaac Stern, the famous violinist, said music is what happens between the notes. Well, something like trust happens between the meetings. You know, few people think about the importance of building trust when they go to work. Or what do I need to do today to build trust with somebody? Like, it doesn't really go through people's minds, but we have chit chat as we walk into the meeting. We have chit chat when we walk out of the meeting and we see somebody in the hall. They're like, oh, meant to tell you something. Or you knock on someone's door and be like, got a minute? And all those little innocuous interactions over the course of time, like any relationship build trust. It's about setting up the computer, setting up Zoom and having a work session with somebody. You know, like we're not working on the same thing, but I want to work with somebody. A work buddy or having a lunch with somebody over Zoom, or Monday morning Huddle where we talk about what's on our heart and minds, but we do not talk business on purpose. Or Friday cocktails that are just voluntary. But the most important one is to just pick up the phone and call people and say, how are you? That level of empathy, just check in on someone. And I think we neglect it because we get mired in the day to day. But, you know, one of, you know, if you're organized or disorganized, you know, literally keep a list of your team on a little card next to your computer and just, you know, go through it and have I called this person in a while and talk to this person. I'm just going to call and check in. It doesn't matter if something's wrong or not wrong. Just check in on them. You know, don't wait for something to break and let people know that there's connection and there's a way to reach out and say, I need help.

Because if. And the most important thing is for leaders to be honest and open about their need to ask for help and that that'll work.