Finding Your WHY

Each of us, how do we actually build our own personal brands? Because that's what takes us forward. That's what gives us the reason to wake up every day. And that's an important part. So you want to talk about that?

Absolutely. So it starts with why.

A why is fundamentally an origin story where you come from. All of us, our why is fully formed.

By the time we're in our mid to late teens. Because we are all products of how we grew up. The experiences we had when we were young molded us into who we are today. And you are who you are. There's no changing who you are. The question is whether you're making decisions that are in balance with who you are or out of balance. We call that stress, or we call it flow, if it works in the right direction. So I can give you simple and fun little exercise that will help you learn your why. It may not be exact, but it'll get you in the ballpark. Right? Find a friend you love and who loves you. The kind of friend who you know. You could call them at 3 o' clock in the morning, and if they called you at 3 o' clock in the morning, you'll be there for them. Do not do this with a spouse. Do not do this with a sibling. Do not do this with a parent. Those relationships are too close and they think they know everything about you already. Right. Do it with a best friend. And ask them this simple why are we friends? And they're going to look at you like you're crazy. Because the part of the brain that controls our feelings, like love and loyalty and trust, the limbic brain doesn't control language. So we struggle to put those feelings into words. But then, ironically, you actually stop asking the question why? Because the question why is an emotional question and we need rational answers. So you say, come on, what specifically is it about me that I know you would be there for me no matter what? And they'll struggle. I don't know. Of course they know. They just don't have the part of the brain that controls language. I don't know, they'll say. And they'll start describing you. You're honest. You're always there for me when I need you. And you'll have to play devil's advocate. You have to say, that's just the definition of a friend. What specifically is it about me that I know you'd be there for me no matter what? Don't help them. Don't let anybody help them. Let them go through the stress and they'll go through this process a few times. Why are you asking me this? I don't know. And eventually they'll give up, and eventually they'll start talking about themselves. And this is what my friend said to me. I don't know, Simon. All I know is that I can sit in a room with you. I don't even have to talk to you. And I get inspired, and I got goosebumps. In fact, I'm getting them right now, because what they said, what they articulated, was the reason, the value I feel in their lives. That's what they said. And the reason I had an emotional response is because that's my why. And if you do it with multiple friends, which I did, you get almost the exact answer. Because your why is the thing you give to the world when you're operating at your natural best. And it's the value you have in people's lives, whether they're your friends or your teammates. So you can go through this exercise. It's a lot of fun. It'll help you get in the ballpark. And then the only thing is, you have to learn to start with why.