Clegg shares a story about missing a friend's cry for help in texts, then describes a simple ritual: when someone struggles, ask "do you have eight minutes?" for a short call to listen. Small practices of presence matter more than grand gestures.
Eight minutes.
Friend of mine, I went to her house for dinner. Hadn't seen her in a couple weeks, and just sort of catching up. I said, what? How have you been? She goes, last week was really, really rough. She told me what happened. I said, why didn't you call me? She goes, I did. I'm like, you didn't. She's like, I did. I pull up my phone to prove to her that she didn't. And there in the text, it says, what are you doing? Want to come over? Wanna have dinner on Thursday? I'm like, you mean these texts? The one that sound like every other text you've ever sent me? How do I know that that's a cry for help?
And so she'd read this article that said that when somebody's in need, all they need is eight minutes of attention from a friend. To feel not alone. Not to solve a problem, but just to feel not alone. And so we came up with a shorthand with each other, which is when we're in need, we text each other and say, do you have eight minutes?
What that means is, I need you. Anyone can out of a meeting or step out of whatever they're doing for eight minutes to call a friend and say, are you okay? You're not going to solve it. You're not going to. You'll get with them later, for an hour, two hours, whatever they need, but just long enough to feel not alone. And the people who feel guilty calling you because they don't want to bother you or interrupt you, nobody feels guilty for taking eight minutes. So my ask is, adopt these little practices and be better friends to your friends.
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