How To Show Up for Your Friends

A friend of mine, his friend lost his dad. And when he heard the news, he texted his friend. He says, "I can only imagine what you're going through. I'm sure you're overwhelmed with the inundated, you're being inundated with warm feelings. I just want you to know that I'm here for you and I love you. And I'm gonna call you." 'Every single day at 9:45 AM to check up on you. You do not have to pick up, but you can always expect a call from me.' He called the next day at 9:45. He did not pick up. He called the next day at 9:45. He did not pick up. He did call the next day at 9:45. He did not pick up. After a week, his friend picked up. They talked for a while. This went on for 4 months. My friend called every single day. At 9:45 to— I mean, that to me, to put in his schedule, he just put it in his schedule. Just dial it up. It was 15 minutes to call his friend to check up on him. He didn't always pick up, but every day was that phone call. And if that— and that is proof that you don't have to have an hour. It doesn't have to be excessive, but just the regularity that you, you know, without a shadow of a doubt that somebody is there who loves you, even if you don't talk to them, the confidence that somebody's there for you. And this is what I think the crux of friendship is, which is we do not keep score in friendship, right? Which is, I did 7 things for you, you've only done 2 for me, right? We don't keep score. In fact, what true friendship is, is if you do 50 things for me and I do nothing for you, You still walk around with the absolute confidence that the one time you need me, the answer— that I'll be there. And it's that. It's the absolute belief that the friend will be there for you at 9:45 no matter what.