More on The Millennial Question

And I would stand there on the stage and sort of like, sort of like. And so I needed an answer. And so both with my own research, well, research, sort of observation, talking to people, I had lots of conversations. I talked to high school kids and college kids and recent college grads. And I started listening to them and asking them questions in a different way so that I could better empathize and understand what they were going through. I also talked to friends who were going through similar things, and I fashioned an answer. And when I started sharing this answer, I got some amazing responses. First of all, the millennials who were sitting in the audience would nod their heads. And it was really kind of intense for me because they would come up to me afterwards and say, thank you. They no longer felt it was them, they no longer felt alone. And they thought that some of the issues that they were dealing with, with struggling with relationships or depression, they thought it was them and it allowed them to take a huge weight off their shoulders that they could actually ask for help, which, quite frankly, was really, really inspiring. So the background of the whole answer to that question came from the fact that I needed an answer. Apparently it was bugging people. And I think that's one of the reasons it sort of went so viral as well, people asking this question. Now, I have to say I'm really proud with the fact that it has tied. Touched a nerve. I've been hearing from friends and from strangers that they're putting their phones away more often when they go out with their families, with their friends. I've heard, we've had some emails that people are now banning cell phones in conference rooms, which is wonderful. In fact, just this morning, I heard from a dear friend who he now turns his phone off at 7 o' clock at night, which I love. And if somebody wants to get hold of him, they can call him, which is wonderful. Call him at home, in other words. It's having an impact. I'm really proud of that. Even amongst my own friends, I find that we're more sensitive to each other. Bringing phones to the dinner table or to a conference table. Now, of course, this is much bigger than cell phones. This is about relationships. And that goes to the next point. I think some people were very angry that, or at least concerned that I left millennials. That took millennials off the hook, that I said to them that I, you know, that it's not their fault. And the fact of the matter is, that's true. Every single generation is subject to issues of their own upbringing. For example, can we really hold it against those who grew up in the Great Depression that they were a little more miserly than the rest of us, A little more penny pinching the rest of us. I mean, they grew up in the Depression, for heaven's sakes. Or the Boomer generation who are very cynical of leadership positions. Well, they grew up during the Vietnam War and during Richard Nixon. Every generation is affected by the environments in which they grow up. And the question was about millennials. And the point is that we have to have empathy, not just for millennials, for anybody. People are who they are because of the environments in which they grow up with. That doesn't excuse them, but it allows us to have empathy for the situation in which they grew up in. The same goes here. Of course, millennials have a lot of work to do. Only they can take responsibility for their own behavior. But what we're saying is the way we treat them or the way we think about them, and maybe the way we label them, let's have a little more empathy for the environment in which they grew up. That for people like me who are older, didn't grow up that way. I have a memory of a time before cell phones, before email. I went to college and email was just beginning. So the point is, I didn't grow up the same way. And I cannot relate to how they're growing up. It's just about empathy. That's all it is. And I think it's a good practice for everyone to have a little more empathy for everyone else. But of course, millennials have a lot of responsibility for their own behavior. And they have to take action and do the heavy lifting, hard work, learn the patience to learn how to build the relationships and overcome some of the challenges they feel. So then it gets to corporate responsibility. I made the point that companies bear a lot of the responsibility here to build environments in which millennials can thrive. And that's still the case. I mean, the fact of the matter is, as I learned when I did all the research from Leaders Eat Last is that one of the primary responsibilities of leaders is to build other leaders to take care of people. This has nothing to do with millennials. This has to do with good leadership. Good leaders teach other people how to become leaders. And I find that the best companies have robust and remarkable leadership programs. And I don't mean teaching skills. I mean teaching things like work skills, hard skills. I mean teaching things like human skills, like listening or communication or conflict resolution, things like that. That's what the best companies do. In other words, we are asking companies to please just do what they're supposed to be doing. This is not about companies picking up the slack for Millennials. This is about companies doing what they're supposed to be doing for all their employees. It will probably have an even more powerful impact on the Millennial generation, however, given the environment in which they grew up. So, yes, companies still have a responsibility to develop systems programs, trainings, peer reviews, new kinds of incentive programs that are different from all of the things that came with us from the 80s and 90s that are for all employees, not just millennials, but millennials will benefit a lot. So finally, I have to say, and I think some people have probably heard me say this before.

I joke that the bookshop has an entire section called Self Help, and it has no section called Help Others. And I think one of the things that this, the popularity of this question to this, the answer to this millennial question has done is it's proven to me that we need a new industry. We need an industry called the Help Others industry, where we practice empathy on a regular basis, that we share ideas, we write books, we write articles, all about how we can empathize and help others go through life. And by the way, if everybody's reading those articles, those books, watching those videos, that means that they're going to help us, too. I mean, wouldn't you want to go to work in a place where everybody in that company is preoccupied with helping each other succeed rather than just stabbing each other in the back to help themselves succeed? And quite frankly, I think this is wonderful. So here's what I'm committing to do. I want to keep learning about the subject. I don't consider myself an expert on any of these subjects. I consider myself a student on these subjects. And when something sparks my mind, I become curious and I start asking people and investigating and researching. And that's what I'm going to keep doing. So as I have more ideas, as I have more to share, as I learn more, I'll pop up on one of these every now and then, or write a blog or something, and I'll share whatever I know for the benefit of all of us. And please, please, please keep writing in email us or post on Facebook. Tell us what you're learning, tell us some of the experiences. If you have a criticism, absolutely give it to us, but make it constructive. Please help us what we can learn. This is all about all of us trying to make our world, our companies, our populations better. That's what it's about. This is about all of us. We can all take responsibilities for ourselves and we can all help others take responsibility for themselves also. So let us work together. Let's be the catalyst for building the Help Others industry. What a wonderful way to start the year. We're going to build an industry together. Thank you very much. And I will probably do one of these again soon as I keep learning. So, yeah, thanks very much and thanks for helping me spread the message. I can't tell you how powerful it's been the past few days and it's going to be an amazing year. Happy New Year, everyone.