Speaker B offers a technique for people-pleasers: always say "let me get back to you" before committing to anything, even if you plan to say yes. The pause, even just a few hours, lets you check your schedule and priorities instead of reflexively agreeing. Do it in extreme at first until the habit sticks.
Can you please share some of the tricks and techniques that you teach to actually help the people pleasers?
Mm-hmm. One that I really love is, uh, let me get back to you. And so I think for people who are really trying to work on this behavior, having a rule for themselves, a challenge that whenever anyone asks them for anything, they have to say, let me get back to you, even if they think that they're going to do it.
No matter what. No matter what. Because it's a practice.
It's a practice and it's building the muscle.
And you learn when to deploy it later, but right now do it in extreme.
Yes, because the knee-jerk answer is always yes. You know, and in the moment it feels like an authentic yes. And so creating a little bit of that distance of just for 24 hours or for 2 hours or whatever it is, I'm gonna actually check in with myself. I'm gonna check in with my to-do list. I'm gonna look at my schedule. I'm gonna check in with someone else and see what I need to actually get the information that I need. Can I say yes to this and actually take this on?
Okay, so for somebody who wants to overcome people pleasing, one of the first techniques, always, it starts extreme, it'll find its pacing later, is let me get back to you whenever anything's asked.
