Why Kindness Is Not A Weakness | Robin Sharma

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Sharma. And I'm really happy to welcome you to this mastery session, which is called why Kindness is Not a Weakness. In this episode, I'm going to walk you through my philosophy on why the heroes are kind. In this episode, I'm going to share my insights on why kindness wins. In this episode, I'm going to offer to you why the the world needs more kindness and compassion, more empathy and relatability to bring on audacity.

We live in a world where the dominant message of society is, if you want to be a leader, be sort of mean, be aggressive. You got to thump your chest a little more. If you want to lead the field, you got to speak a little bit louder. You've got to be all about me versus just thinking about we. And so what I want to offer to you right now is simply a reminder, because your wisest part knows the truth. You know, on the last hour of your last day, when you reflect on your life, if you were not kind, I think you're going to feel heartbroken. One of my mentors when I was a young lawyer was a judge and a very special man. I learned so much from him. I was so incredibly influenced by his commitment to excellence, by his integrity, and by his outright honor. And a few years ago, he had retired and I made the trek back to where he was living. And we spent two glorious hours together where we remembered, you know, our best times when I was working for him. And towards the end of our conversation, I asked him for advice, you know, like, what's most important? What are the best lessons you've learned from life? What suggestions do you have for me as I go forward, as I pursue my mountaintops? And he said this, and he said, you know, he spoke of excellence and he spoke of honesty. And then at the very end of our conversation, he said, and Robin, please always remember to be kind. He said, oh, Robin, it's so important to be kind. And then he reached over and he did something he'd never done. He hugged me and he said, robin, I love you.

A few months later, I received a message from my assistant that said, this gentleman, and I use that word intentionally, this gentleman, because he was a true gentleman. He had passed away, and that meeting was the last meeting that I was blessed to experience with him.

Oh, Robin, always be kind. Kindness is not a weakness. You know, anyone can be aggressive because often aggression comes from insecurity. And beneath insecurity is fear. When we are in a low grade fear, we're contracted, our hearts are closed, we're not Intimate with our empathy. When you're scared, you contract. You do anything required to be safe. I'm going deep in this episode because I know you want to go deep. You don't want light insights that you see in all these social media posts. Dream big, be happy. Happy. Grind and win. Depth is important right now. If you're on the field in hot pursuit of outright personal mastery and true leadership. If you really want to get real results, forget superficiality, let's go to granularity and let's get deep. And so one of the things I want to say to you is we resist our kindest selves only when we're scared. When we're scared, it's all about we go into survival. I could get into the neurobiology of it. I could talk about limbic hijack. Your limbic system is the survival part of your brain. When you get scared, you naturally go into survival. Fight, flight, freeze, and literally your perception narrows, your heartbeat increases, and it becomes all about staying safe. Now here's the powerful point. There are a lot of people who have experienced so much trauma in their life. Famous leaders, famous titans, or people that you know personally. They've experienced so much pain, so much loss, so much trauma, that their daily normal is a state of fear. And because they're in a state of fear, they're living not in their higher part of their brain and their higher part of their humanity. They're living in constant limbic hijack, which means their perception is narrow and their hearts are closed. They're just trying to feel safe. I hope that makes sense. I believe it's a profound point. As you do the inner work, you know, my four interior empires, this is not the episode where I want to share it with you because I want to stay focused on kindness.

As a reflection of strength. And if you're interested, read my book, the 5am Club. You'll learn the 4 Interior Empires model, which is transformational, which is the foundation of all exterior empires. Here's the key. One of the four interior empires is heart set. And as you start to not only work on your mindset, everyone's saying it's all mindset. Everything's mindset. Attitude is everything. I'm a disruptor. Mindset is only 25% of the personal mastery equation. You can have a great psychology if you don't have a strong heart set, if you haven't purified your emotionality, then your heart is closed. And the people with closed hearts are not the people that write the symphonies that change the world or Create the products that change the world, or build the families that upgrade their lifestyles and that build the movements that inspire our civilizations. And so your heart set and working on your trauma and looking at your repressed pain, I call the whole concept but the hurt. Well, we all develop this well of hurt as we leave the perfection and innocence of our childhoods. And there's this loss of innocence as we go out in the world. Our dreams get betrayed, we experience loss, we experience failure, we get disappointed, we get hurt by people. And what happens is all this pain builds up inside of us. And then society says, don't feel it. And so it gets greater. And we don't realize that to heal a wound, we need to feel a wound. To heal a wound, we need to feel a wound. And instead of doing that, instead of feeling all these toxic feelings and releasing them, because when you take the shadow and bring it into the sunlight of feeling and awareness, you'll release it instead. What most people on the planet do is we swallow all the pain, disappointment, frustration, and we think it's not there. But it blocks our creativity, blocks our productivity, blocks our performance.

It blocks our authenticity. So just remember that people who are in pain do painful things.

People who are frightened, are aggressive, often loud, bang their chest, selfish. They're really interested in having a lot of fame and fortune in the world because deep within them is a scared little child that is just trying to feel safe. And they have hypnotized and brainwashed themselves to thinking if they get the yacht and all the social media likes and a big house and a high position in the world, they're going to be loved and feel safer. What I suggest to you is play a different game of leadership. Go in to yourself and explore that pain. Ask yourself why you might not be compassionate to people. Ask yourself maybe why you're not expressing your truest self to your friends, co workers, strangers. Ask yourself, am I insecure? Ask yourself why you're not a merchant of kindness. Ask yourself why you're not the most positive person in every room that you're in and start exploring the insecurity, exploring the repressed pain, exploring the hurt so you leave limbic hijack and living a life designed to make you just feel safe in the world. And you actually go into the world as a leader and as a hero.

Because it's the giver that wins the most. You know, the more I work with love, with the intention of love, the more influence I have, the more I try to give to my family, give to my friends, give to the people around me give to the world. The more the world replies to my kindness. I've discovered life has an awesome accounting system. And we get from life not what we take. We get from life what we give. It's so counterintuitive. The ego says take. That's why the ego is our voice of insecurity and fear. We all have a higher nature. We all have a primal hero deep within us. I get very deep into it. If you're interested, read the 5am Club. I get deep into how to be a genius. How to build a relationship with your primal hero. It's a lot more than a book about the morning routine of history makers right now. I simply want to remind you.

You have a deeper nature, a higher order and a primal genius living inside of you right now. And that deeper genius and hero is all about being kind and being loving and bringing great value to as many as people as possible. And the true history makers understand that, that the more people you help, the more your life gets upgraded in ways that you cannot imagine. It is just stunning to me how when you make it about being kind and that doesn't just mean hugging people or doing nice things for people or being compassionate to people, doing work that is beautiful and poetic so that it serves your customers is being kind. Taking the time to help a stranger in need is being kind.

Taking the time in your busiest day to listen to a family member who just needs listening is kind. Sitting down with an industry peer who could be, quote unquote your competitor and saying, here's how I did it. Here is the opportunity for you. Here is what I would do if I were you. Here are my contacts.

That kind of kindness to an industry peer not only helps that other human being, believe me, that kindness will come back to you 100x. Just because the world doesn't think like that doesn't mean you shouldn't have the bravery to live like that if it feels right for you. So to wrap this up with a bow. Kindness is not a manifestation or a habit of weak people. Nelson Mandela went through 27 years of incarceration, 18 years on Rob an island. He was tortured. He was asked to dig a grave and lay in it. And then he was urinated on and laughed at. And yet when he emerged from prison.

What did he do? The jailer that kept him in prison was invited to his inauguration when Mandela became president of South Africa because Nelson Mandela had built and fortified kindness within him. And he was asked, why would you do that? And he said, because if I didn't I would still be in prison. If you have not built that that universe of strength within you so that you have the power to be kind, well then you're still in prison and we all are and the world will be less of a place but for your full on expression of kindness. So I hope this Mastery Session has helped you a lot. I've given my heart and soul in this one, so I hope you feel how much I care and I really want to help you. Here's what I would encourage you to do. If you have found this Mastery Session valuable, please share it with three people as quickly as possible and then start the conversation with them about everything that you learned. Number two, if you would like me to mentor you and you want to go 100x deeper into this kind of material that I've shared on, whether it's neuroscience or the philosophy or greatness, if you really want to multiply and accelerate your productivity, if you really want to bring your fire and your primitive and primal heroism to the world and you're tired of playing small and you're tired of limiting yourself, well, then I would love to work with you if you're that kind of person. And there is information below on my monthly mentoring program. It's absolutely world class. It's called Circle of Legends. And if you feel you want to work at Legendary and live that heroic life that I truly believe you're destined to live, check out the information below in Circle of Legends and I'd love to be of service to you in the program. Finally, if you haven't read my book the 5am Club, I spent four years of hard labor working on the 5am Club and essentially it's 33033 pages of me distilling the best ideas I've learned over two decades working with billionaires and companies like Starbucks, General Electric, Nike, Microsoft, IBM and organizations like NASA and Young Presidents Organization. And so read the 5am Club. I promise you it will be a tool for transformation and a manifesto for absolute mastery. To find the book, you can find it online or just go over to the 5am Club.

And I'm really excited to share that after you finish the book. At the end of the book there is a free and I want to emphasize free because I really want to help you lock in the 5am Club habit. It is the mother of all habits. You get your morning right, your days will be right. Your days are world class. You'll have world class weeks, quarters and years. The single best move you can make is to join the 5am Club run the 202020 formula that I walk you through in the as you begin your day so you handcraft your life and I'm excited to share. At the end of the book you will find details for a free 66 day online program where after you finish the book for 66 days, which is the period of time required to install a new habit, I will literally mentor you through morning mastery meditations and videos at no charge for 66 days until you reach the point that researchers call automaticity where it actually becomes easy easier to get up at 5am than not to get up at 5am Final thing I want to share with you. A portion of my royalties on every copy of the 5am club sold goes to fight leprosy on the planet. It's a violent affliction. I am all in to help fight leprosy as much as I humanly can. So when you invest in a copy of the 5am club, you not only invest in your growth and transformation, you invest in helping a child with leprosy live a better life. Okay, so thank you so much and I'll see you in the next Mastery Session and be great. Hi, this is Robin Sharma. I hope you received great value from this Mastery Session. If you'd like to receive potent training videos, blog posts, learning tools and information on my two live events, Personal Mastery Academy and my flagship four day experience, the Titan Summit, go ahead and visit robinsharma.com.