In this conversational leadership talk, Speaker A argues that trust is a risk that leaders must willingly take and that it is the leader’s responsibility to earn the trust of their team, not the other way around. The discussion frames hiring as an act of trust—if a leader cannot trust a new hire, they should not have hired them. When hiring mistakes occur, leaders should accept accountability and, if necessary, let under‑performing or uncoachable employees go with dignity and generosity. Coachability is highlighted as the primary criterion for deciding whether to invest further in an employee; if a person is not coachable, the leader should help them transition elsewhere. The talk emphasizes a reciprocal relationship: leaders should provide support, cover, and constructive feedback while also asking for honest feedback from their team to foster mutual growth.
Chapters
Trust is risk, right? And that's all it is. People don't want to take the risk.
Right.
Right? And I've never heard a great leader in my life ever say to their team, prove to me why I should trust you. It is not for the people to prove to us. It is for us to earn their trust. We, unfortunately, it's one of the downsides of being a leader, we have to show up with trust.
No matter what.
That's it. Yeah, right. That's how we show up and have to earn their trust that we actually do have their back, that we actually do want to see them grow, that we actually do think they're competent, that we do want to catch them doing things right as opposed to catching them doing things wrong, that we will practice and working hard on ourselves, letting go. Like, we— they, they have to— we have to earn their trust, not that they're— not the other way around. And remember, we hired them, whether we personally hired them or our companies hired them, we hired them. And so if you don't trust them, then don't hire them. You interview them, you're like, I could trust this person. It's like going on a date. Like, I could fall in love with this person. I mean, it's the same thing.
Yeah.
You know? And if you really don't trust them, then you hired the wrong person.
Right.
And by the way, we sometimes hire the wrong people. Sure. Absolutely happens. And don't make them wrong or bad. We made the mistake. There's some accountability. So if you have to let somebody go, I tend to wait too long. Before I let somebody go.
I think most of us do.
But I do it on purpose because I would— I want to exhaust all of my opportunities. And for me, number one is, are they coachable? If they're having performance issues, are they coachable? If they're having behavioral issues, are they coachable? If they're uncoachable, then I want to help them graduate and I want to help them go somewhere else because they're not happy with me. They're not happy working with us. And I really want them to be happy. And it's rare that— and I'll even go so far as impossible— that I really hate it and they're happy.
Right.
Or vice versa. It just doesn't— it's like a relationship, right? Like, it's never one person, it's both. And so if it gets to the point where it's time for change, then we can let them go with dignity and be generous on the way out, right? We don't have to make them wrong or bad or stupid, right? And we bear some accountability if we hired badly, right? Which is another reason to be generous, because it's on us. But going back to the other part, which is to show up with trust is very, very hard. But it's what we have to do. And I love giving little speeches, you know, which is, I hired you because you're smart. I hired you because you're good at what you do and I see potential in you. I trust, I trust you, right? And I know that I have to earn your trust. And I'm going to earn your trust by trying to be the best coach I can for you, trying to be there for you, give you top cover. When you screw up, let you try again. All I ask in, in return is give me feedback because I'm growing too. I want you to tell me where I can help you more. I need you to tell me where I screwed up.
