Codie Sanchez explains how to stand up for yourself without losing control. Harvard research shows the calmest negotiators win, not the angriest ones. When you get triggered, cortisol spikes and shuts down your rational thinking, so pause and breathe before you respond.
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Here's a hard truth I was thinking about today. You are going to have to put people in their place sometimes. It's not going to feel good, but if you don't do it, you will live a life where other people, well, they walk all over you. And actually, Harvard found this to be true even in negotiations. The people who got the best outcomes, they weren't the most fired up, they were the most calm that actually held their ground. And here's why. When you're triggered, cortisol floods your system, right? And this prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain that actually thinks, checks out. You're not in control anymore, your emotions are. Are. That's how you lose. The people who actually get what they want in any room, any conversation, they wait. They don't get upset when they have to put somebody in their place. They take a moment, then they speak, and they hold their ground. But if you do it when you're not grounded, when you haven't taken a big deep breath, well, then you're not actually putting somebody in your place. You're crashing out. And all they're gonna remember is that you lost it, not, oh, I think I'm gonna give them what they want because now they look like they really need it. It was the hardest lesson for me to learn in the beginning. So do not give up ground, but don't get emotional about it. Let them think that you're cool even when you're kicking like crazy, a duck underwater underneath.
