Codie Sanchez on why people cast you as the villain to escape their own guilt. Your boundaries become arrogance, your silence becomes hostility. The loudest voice wins the narrative, so stop defending yourself and build a character that doesn't need explaining.
Chapters
Like it or not, somebody's going to make you the villain at some point. Why? Because if you're the bad guy, they don't have to feel guilty. Like, if you're the problem, they don't have to reflect. So you'll notice they modify your story. The boundary that you've set becomes your arrogance. And I learned this one in public. I once posted that I think we've taken boundaries too far and that sometimes you show up for the people you love even when it's inconvenient. By the next morning, villain. Your quiet becomes hostility. Your distance becomes betrayal. The hard part is that none of that has to be true. It just helps keep their conscious comfortable. People who'd never met me, oh, they knew exactly who I was. You know, you could have written the thread defending yourself afterwards, but the truth is I didn't. You don't, because I learned the deeper version of this. Every deal that goes sideways has two stories. The person who behaved worst usually tells theirs the loudest, and I've heard versions of me that I didn't even recognize. So make sure you're not the person who defends yourself to correct the record. Be the person who knows your own character that doesn't need an explanation. And the people who know you too We'll respect you even more for it.
