How Long Will You Suffer? 💥 The Moment Your Marriage Changes

All right, guys, let's, let's get started here. So let's start with talking about why you're actually here. So most of you think you're here because you want to save your marriage, and there is certainly an element of truth to that, but the deeper underlying problem that you are looking to solve actually is you, you're suffering and you want the suffering to stop. You want the pain to go away, and I know that because the problems within your marriage have been there for a long time, and you didn't actually take the action to do anything significant about it until the suffering became enough to where you actually wanted that suffering to go away. So you're here because you want the pain to stop. So the, the thing to understand here is it's a quote from Seneca, which I love, which is, he who suffers before it is necessary suffers more than is necessary. And that is absolutely true in my experience of life. So most of the things that I've worried about in my life never, never actually happened. At all. And the things that I did worry about, or, or the things that I actually should have worried about, really didn't enter into my mind. So again, let's, uh, turn my thing on here. We suffer more often in imagination than in reality. And if the goal is to stop suffering, which it is, I'm sure, then we need to address that. So my mission here, period, in life, not just in this program or on this video or this call, is to liberate men from thinking that creates suffering and to replace it with beliefs that create transformation and liberation. So ultimately what I'm saying here is your suffering is your own creation, and that's a beautiful thing because when you understand that your suffering is being created at your own hand, that puts the solution at your own hand, in your own hands as well. So the real solution here is the 30-day negative negativity diet. So if we want to stop the suffering, and ironically The byproduct of the— of this is this gives you the very best chance of saving your marriage, because when, when you're a pit of negativity, you're nothing. You're basically just a giant shit magnet. Nobody wants to be around the negative person. Nobody wants to be involved. Nobody wants a negative employee. Nobody wants somebody raining on their parade. Nobody likes the person with a problem for every solution. This is a very undesirable characteristic and personality trait. And as long as you're a giant shit magnet, all you're going to do is attract more shit. So I, I guarantee you go and you go into any Facebook group and you start posting negative stuff, man, you're gonna, you're gonna attract a bunch of negative people that agree with you. So the key to saving your marriage, man, is there's only one way to save your marriage, and that's you've got to attract your wife back into it. You can't control her back, you can't manipulate her back, you can't force her back legally. The only way you can get her back is to attract her back to you, and the only way you can become— the only way you can attract her back is to become an attractive person. And let me pose the question to you: someone that's negative about everything all the time, is that, is that an attractive person? Someone who's consistently in victim mentality? Someone who's got a problem for every solution? Someone who blames everybody and everything for for their problems. Somebody who finds the negative outcome at the the the storm in every silver lining. Let me ask you: Is that an attractive personality? Is that somebody that you want to be around? And the answer to that question for anyone who's struggling with it is no, no it isn't. So I know the the question I'm going to get is like well how do I become an attractive person, Cody? If I if if that's what I have to do. Well you eliminate all negativity from your life, right? So the purpose here isn't about. Positive thinking. I think I can, I think I can, happy clappy, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's just amateur psychology, and that's— that comes from people that don't have the vocabulary or the understanding to actually articulate something meaningful. So when somebody doesn't understand how to explain something or they don't understand a situation, they just use vague language. Be positive, be attractive. This, this doesn't tell you anything. Right? So hopefully we're going to give you something useful here that allows you to actually implement this, and that is the 30-Day Negativity Diet. So understand negativity is not an emotion. It's not an emotion you experience. It's a distortion of reality. It's exaggeration. It's catastrophizing. It's projecting. It's victim language. It's mental noise that weakens your authority. And again, The key hypothesis to keep in mind through this entire presentation, measure everything against the idea that if I'm going to— if I'm going to save my marriage, I have to attract my wife back. And the only way I can attract her back is to become an attractive person. To ask— measure everything against that baseline standard. Is victim language, playing the victim, attractive? It's creating a bunch of mental noise. That weakens your authority and puts you in a place of disempowerment? Is that attractive? Is exaggeration, catastrophizing, projecting negative outcomes onto situations that haven't happened yet— is that attractive or unattractive? It becomes very binary, right? We're going to talk about binary decisions in a little bit, but if your goal is to become attractive, then the question is, is this behavior right now attractive or unattractive to another person? It's not about, you know, the, the We were joking about mustaches and stuff. It's not about physical attraction. It's about, are you pleasant to be around? So what also happens is polluted inputs corrupt your decision-making process. Your life is nothing more than the accumulation of decisions. I can look at the life that you have now, and I can look at the decisions that you've made. I can look at your financial situation and look at your financial decisions. I can look at your employment or business situations, and it's a collection of decisions that you've made. I can look at your body and your health, and I can see the decisions that you've made around food and exercise and all of these things. Your decision— your life is nothing more than a collection of decisions, and trash in, trash out. And if trash is coming out right now, and By virtue of the fact you're on this call, you're watching this video, it is. Your marriage is in a situation where it's showing a series of bad decisions. It's showing— it's the accumulation, and it's the output of a bunch of bad decisions that have been made. And if you want to change that, you've got to change the input. Change the input, change the output. If a man's inputs are polluted, his decisions are also corrupted. And the inputs here are the thoughts that go into your mind. This is the input. You have to change what's going on between the ears if you want to change what's going on in the marriage. There's no way to affect the marriage. The marriage is like a mirror of you. And the problem is many men, many, many men on this call right now, you look, you're looking at the mirror demanding that the mirror changes. The mirror is incapable of change. It cannot change. It can only reflect what it's seeing. If you want that mirror to reflect a hand going from here to here, you have to change, and then the mirror reflects the change that you have made. Everything that you're seeing in life is merely a reflection of the decisions that you have made to this point. I.e., your body is a, as I've said, is a reflection of the decisions that you've made around food, exercise, and health. You cannot change that. That is the mirror. Your body is the mirror right now. You cannot change what you are seeing in physical reality till you change what is stood in front of the mirror. The mirror will not show a man who's trim and in shape without you changing your inputs. So success requires clean inputs, and the negativity diet produces that. So the law behind this, right? Identity governs behavior, and behavior governs outcome. You will categorically not act in a way that is inconsistent with your identity. And let me prove that to you. So how how many people here actually truly believe that murder is wrong? How many watching this video believe that murder is wrong? How many of you actually engage in it ever or? Or have engaged in it or would engage in it? Never. None of us would, right? I'm assuming because that is a genuine internal identity belief. We genuinely believe that murder is wrong at every fiber in our being. There's not one ounce of doubt that says any circumstance where that is right. That is our identity. And when our identity is secure like that, that outcome is never, ever, ever, ever, ever going to happen under any circumstances. Now let's look at another one that's a little bit less nefarious than that— lying. Many of us— how many of us would say lying is wrong? But ultimately, we tell lies, little white lies, lies to help others, to protect other people's feelings. Lying's lying. It doesn't matter. It's like if you're telling lies, you don't believe that lying is wrong. You don't believe it. That is not an identity that you hold that is governing your behavior. If you want to know what your identity truly is, look at what— look at this— look at the outcomes that you will never ever violate. And the truth of the matter is, if you, if you are happy to get aggressive with your wife verbally, if you're happy to shout, if you're happy to control, if you're happy to manipulate, if you're happy to control people with your moods, any of these things, deep down inside your identity says this is absolutely okay. And until that changes, until you understand that your behavior governs your outcome, nothing is— you are not going to become attractive to anybody or anything, let alone attractive enough to your wife to come back into the marriage. So understand that your behavior governs— the identity governs behavior, and behavior governs the outcome. So here's what happens. Negativity hijacks your identity. That's the first thing that it hijacks and takes over. So negativity will reliably break your discipline. It will, it will reliably amplify emotional negative reasoning, and it will destroy any leadership authority that you actually have. When you, when you, when you start engaging in negativity and you move into victim blame, lack of ownership. This destroys any leadership authority that you have. Everybody wants to be led. Everybody wants somebody further down the road than them to shine light onto the path, to give guidance. Everybody desires that, and we naturally gravitate towards those who show strong leadership. Negativity destroys that. Negativity creates reaction. When a man is negative, he defaults to reaction. He's not responding, he is now reacting. When you interpret thoughts in your mind, situations in your mind in a negative way, that's the corrupted input, and it's going to produce a corrupted output, which is reaction, not response. Reaction breaks stewardship. When his reaction is— when he's reaction-based, he loses stewardship over his decisions. When you're in fear, when you're in scarcity, when you're in loss, you cannot steward your resources as you hope to, as you would want to. You steward your leadership as your scarcity, fear, and sense of loss will permit you. Or in other words, you let— you let the smaller part of your personality control You're not— you let your personality, the fear, control what you want to do with your resources. And resources is not just money. It's just a good example of how these resources work. How many of us want to give more than we do? How many of us want to do more with our resources than we do, yet fear stands in the way? Yet fear stops us. How many of us have a bigger vision for life? How many of us know that we could achieve more, but the reality is we will never step into that future that we've been promised, because reaction-based decision-making is controlling you. Fear-based decision-making coming out of negative interpretation, loss, scarcity— if I do this, I'm going to lose, if I do that, I'm never going to get this, blah blah blah— it's controlling your decision. Your mind has been hijacked by something that does not have your best interests at heart. I can assure you of that. So when stewardship breaks, stewardship of your thoughts, stewardship of your actions, stewardship of your resources, it's just a matter of time before drift takes over, and drift results in nothing that you want to experience. So the 30-day negativity diet is very, very simple. Cut the inputs that are causing unnecessary suffering. Get them out of your life. Suffer only when it's necessary. Worry about the things when they show up. So let's talk about what actually counts as negativity, because again, precision is important. Accuracy matters here. Don't— we're not going to be vague. Let's define it. Internal negativity is complaining. I don't know. Who wants to be around someone who just doesn't know anything? What should I do? I don't know. How does this work? I don't know. Etc. Self-pity, overwhelm, imagined future failures that haven't happened. All of these things are negativity. Rumination loops, just going over negative events over and over and over again and just creating more and more negative stories, replaying past grievances that have happened, or even worse, replaying Grievances that have not happened yet, internal arguments with imaginary opponents, probably your wife at this point. I talk to men and they go, I hate arguing, and I'm like, no, you don't. You can't get it. Your wife doesn't even have to be present for you to argue with her. How many times have you sat in the car and rehearsed arguments that haven't happened yet on the way home? How many times have you replayed past arguments over and over and over again? If there's no real argument in the present, you'll create one in the future or replay one in the past. You can't tell me that you hate arguing when you do it all the time when there's nothing to argue about. External negativity, right? What is that? Complaining out loud. If you want to destroy your future, if you want to destroy your health, if you want to destroy your finances, your relationship with them, complain. Fastest way to destroy a relationship is complain. Go to a restaurant and complain about their food. And see what kind of service you get moving forward. See how they feel about you. Criticism without proposed correction. What's your plan? Am I saying that we just ignore reality here? No, but negativity is criticism without a proposed correction, without a proposed plan. Come in and say, here is a demonstrable situation, Cody. This is a problem. That's negative, and here is the plan to fix it. That is positivity. That is progress. That is moving forward. Gossip. Stop gossiping. If it doesn't concern you, don't concern yourself with it. Sarcasm. Problem with sarcasm is people don't know when you're being sarcastic because you were raised in a different environment. You were raised to different standards. My, my, my family, my in-laws, for example, are from, from Lebanon. They're from the Middle East, and they do not understand sarcasm at all. They take the words you speak literally. Everything you say, they take as being true, whereas I'm quite sarcastic and I like to have a bit of a laugh with people, but I have to be aware of my environment, right? When I'm talking to my in-laws, I can't be sarcastic with them. And in the wider environment, we don't know how people are taking things. And if it can be taken as negative, don't say it. Don't think it. Passive aggression. Blame. Victim language. It's not my fault. Cynicism disguised as realism. The number of times where I'll talk to a man and he will just vomit negativity all over me, and I'll say, you're being very negative, and he's like, I'm just being real. Okay, well, is that attractive? Keep in mind, we're attracted— the goal here is to attract the wife back. Is vomiting negativity all over the place and calling it realism, is that an attractive behavior? I'll leave that with you to decide. Environmental negativity, news, social media scrolling, YouTube doom commentary— all of this stuff. Again, let me explain to you what is going on in the media. It is a battle for your mind, and negativity is alluring. It's addictive. When you look at what is going on in the political environment Understand that this is a battle for your mind. They are trying to take control of your mind to progress their agenda, whoever they are. Doesn't matter which side, what you support. Every side is, is in a fight for your mind, to control your mind, to put you on their schedule, and the easiest way to do that is through negativity. To create hate, to create division, to create scandal. All of these things— name-calling— do not engage in it. It's not— it's just not going to help you at all. Music or entertainment built on aggression, despair, or nihilism. The song Everything Whatever brings me one step closer to the edge. And I'm about to break. I had a friend who's going through a divorce, and that was his theme song. I'm about to— all he heard over and over again with rhythm and beat and melody and hypnotic trance-like qualities was, I'm about to break. I'm about to break. I'm about to break. Did that help him? Conversations with people who trade in fear, drama, or chaos. Again, the news media—that's their language. They trade in fear, they trade in drama, and they trade in chaos. They work on a divide and conquer. The battle is for your mind. If you speak negativity into the world, you will attract what you are. You will attract other people. Who, who trade in, in fear, drama, and chaos. If you speak positivity, hope, transformation, promise, you will attract those people. So the standard here is if, if any input pollutes your clarity, get it out of your life. Cut it off ruthlessly and replace it. So the replacement protocol here is The diet, the 30-day diet is a subtraction, not a replacement. Nobody watching this video, nobody on this call right now really needs to add anything to their life to attract their wife back, to become attractive. You were attractive enough for her to say yes. It's not that something was missing and it now has to be added. Many of you are looking for additions. It's not an addition that's going to help you. It's, it's a subtraction. Behaviors have come in, attitudes have come in, and negativity are like weed seeds. They grow easily and effortlessly. You don't have to plant them, they just show up. If you are not actively cultivating your mind, if you are not actively monitoring the gate to your mind, it will naturally and effortlessly fill itself with weed seeds. Weeds will grow, thorns, bracken will grow. Snakes, spiders, and every other creepy crawly you want nothing to do with will move into your mind, and you will create an environment that is very unpleasant for anyone else to be around. The goal here is not to add any skill that you don't have. You don't have to learn how to have a conversation. You don't have to learn how to do anything. All I'm asking is that we learn how to subtract the negative thinking. Get it out. The results here are from subtraction, getting out the negative, not adding something new. So we replace the negativity with neutral observation instead of emotional interpretation. What are the facts? What can we state? What do we know for a fact? I hear all the time, my wife did this, therefore it means she's doing this, she's doing that, she's here, she's done this, she's done that. It's like And you got all of that from an SMS text message because she didn't put an X at the end of it? All we can say is she sent you a text message. That's all we can say. But instead of that, we go into spiraling and out of control because we, we extrapolate and interpret and expand, and we allow just— And earthquake of negativity to come into our lives. And remember, the man who suffers before it is necessary suffers more than is necessary. When you take something that actually is just a simple fact— what do we actually know? She sent you a text message and you've decided that it was short or cold or whatever. All the suffering that now has come from that, you've done that at your own hand. You've created that suffering because of your negative interpretation of what this means, which in fact you don't know what it means. You have no idea. Nobody knows what it means apart from her, and she might not even know what it means truthfully, if anything. So move to binary framing, binary choice framing, instead of spiraling. What do I know for a fact about this? Nothing. I know nothing. You get a text message, the binary choice is, don't— do I— what do I know about— do I know something or do I know nothing? I know nothing. And the man that goes, well, I do know, Cody, I think I do know— well, then I'm afraid there's not much help in you, because when you take something that's unknowable and you claim to know what is unknowable We call that delusion. We call that the God complex, and that's not attractive. So we want to we want to replace the negativity with action identification instead of storytelling. Simply label the behavior. She sent a text message. That's it. Don't create a story around it. And we want to, we want to replace the negativity with authority language. I think, I believe, all of these wishy-washy, I'm trying, I'll give it a go, with language such as I know, I will, I will not. Interpret negatively events that I have no idea and nobody could know what it means with storytelling that spirals into negativity. I will not do that. Versus weak language: I will— I'll try, Cody. I'll do my best. I'll try. That's a man who's going to fail. Who, who wants— what's more attractive? Again, baseline. Let's measure this against the binary baseline. I'll try versus I will. I'll do my best to get that done for you versus I will have it done by 3 PM. Which is attractive? Which is unattractive? So the authority language starts with here's what is. Here's what is. I got a text message that said Can you please pick the kids up? That's all you know. She communicated, can you please pick the kids up? That's all you know. That's what is. It's not, can you please pick the kids up and I don't want to see you, so I'm not going to be there because I'm out doing something else with somebody else, and blah blah blah blah blah. Here's what I am doing now. I am now no longer going to interpret negatively. Here's what will happen next. Here's what happens next. Authority language versus, I'm going to try and get to something today. The result of this is it builds internal strength and internal order inside of you. You're a man that's out of control right now, that's in a— that's in a state of internal chaos. Is a man that's in a state of internal chaos attractive or unattractive to those around him? Uh, internal order is required. I say it all the time, stability is required here if she's going to come back. We are all attracted to stability. Who likes an unstable property market? Who likes an unstable Uh, stock market? Who likes unstable fuel prices? Who likes an unstable boss? Who likes unstable employees? Who likes instability in their life? Who's attracted to instability? Stability is attractive. And the way we build that internal stability is through— we have to create internal order. If we want better outputs in the world, we need better inputs internally. If we want to see order in our marriage, we need order internally. The marriage is simply a reflection of the man. If the man is in chaos, the marriage is in chaos. If the man starts to return to a state of internal order, it gives the marriage the chance to return to a state of external order. So This is what fixes the man. This is what fixes men, right? So let's do it. This is the negativity diet. Let's put some rules in place. Rule number one is zero tolerance, right? Power language. We have zero tolerance. We have zero tolerance of negative thoughts. Any negativity resets the clock to day one. You got to do this for 30 days straight. There are no exceptions. Again, power language. There are some exceptions. There are a few exceptions. There are situations where no. Power language says there are no exceptions. There is no I slipped, but I slipped, but it's understandable. I slipped, but it's not my fault. No. What we do is we observe the situation. We we state the situation, and we take the correct action. I slipped. End off. What do you do if you slip? You reset the clock to day 1. It's binary. It's straightforward. It's simple. I slipped, but here's my story. Here's— I slipped, but here's my excuse. I slipped, but it's not my fault. Couldn't care less about anything after I slipped. Couldn't care less. You can just stop at that and move to the next stage, which is the action that your behavior is now going to produce. Back to day 1. This is a 30-day enforcement cycle, right? So rule number 2 is keep a daily log, one entry per day. Let's make this realistic. You can do it on your phone. I've got a little note-taking device on my phone. Simple. This doesn't have to be complicated, right? So I only— you don't need to write a book. It's binary, right? Binary. Every day you write, did you maintain the diet? And it's binary, yes or no. Yes, you did, or no, you didn't. That's it. Be honest with yourself because you're going to see from this, the goal is to see just how negative you've actually become, to see just how negative the inputs are into your mind. This will help you understand the outputs. And then we want to log what was the point of failure. What was the point of failure? That's it. Or what— or in other words, the point of failure was the trigger. What triggered you to be negative? This is important. I failed today. Yes, the trigger point was I got a call from my property management agent saying a tenant moved out. Okay. Scarcity kicked in, fear kicked in, fear of loss kicked in. I started to project a future. The tenant's moving out, I'm never going to get another tenant, I've got a mortgage on that property, interest rates are going to go up, I've got to get a tenant in here, I'm going to lose that property, I'm going to go bankrupt, my whole life is ruined, it's over, I'm done, I may as well just end it now. Or from, Cody, your tenant's moving out, would you like me to start advertising for a new one? The fact of the matter is the tenant has moved out. That's it. They haven't even moved out. I got bloody 30 days to sort it out. Yeah, I create this huge dialogue. When I, when I log the point of failure, I can start to see my weaknesses and start to see what I need to work on and be aware of. When I, when I see a phone call and it says management, agent, I prepare myself. Cody, you have a tendency at this point to go into negativity. This is where— this is the battle for you today. This is your cross to bear today. Hold it together. Hold it together! Do not give in! Keep it factual! No journaling, no emotional dumping, don't care about the story, don't care about how you felt! Did you— were you negative today? Yes or no? What was the trigger or triggers? That's it! We want to find the patterns here! Rule 3. Accountability! We want to share failures, not excuses. We want to share facts, not feelings, and we want to see the patterns, not the stories. Yes, I was negative today, but it was because— Don't care. All we want to know are the facts. That's it. And what are the patterns that start to show up here? When you eliminate the stories, you start to see the patterns that are triggering you. that are causing the negativity. You can't fight an enemy you can't see. You can't win it. You can't win a battle when the enemy refuses to get on the battlefield. You have to name the enemy. You have to, you have to name the triggers. You have to recognize the triggers. This is how you do it. Rule number 4 is environmental control. If a man keeps the same environment, he will fail. If nothing changes, nothing changes. And again, this is, this is a problem that many face. Many on this call face. You don't want to change. You want the situation to change. You're the man looking at the mirror, demanding that the image in the mirror changes, not understanding that the image— the mirror is incapable of change, cannot change. Only when you change does the mirror change. So my advice here is alter one environmental factor, and a minimum of one, but we want to keep this believable. We want to keep this doable, right? Don't overwhelm yourself. Change one environmental factor immediately. Unfollow CNN or Fox News, whatever your flavor is. Mute conversations in your— start to, when you, when you go to YouTube, click do not show this channel. Delete anything that's negative. Get negativity out of your life. Get anything that is trying to control your mind, get you on their agenda, and is using negativity to do that, get it out of your life. The fastest way to change your life is to change your environment, and the way we do that is we alter environmental factors immediately. We can all do this. There's not one person watching this right now that cannot change at least one environmental factor right now. Block somebody, decline an invitation, Replace what you watch with something else. Watch— replace the 3 hours a day you watch the news with personal development. Do something. If nothing changes, nothing changes. I tell my wife when she wants to change something in her life, I'm like, do something different. What? Anything. I don't care. Many of you will be asking that question. Well, what do I change, Cody? What do I change right now? Anything. I don't care. I don't care. Go to bed half an hour earlier. Get up half an hour earlier. Brush your teeth in the morning instead of at night. Brush your teeth in the morning and at night if you're not doing that. Anything. It doesn't matter. Just get in the habit of getting out of the habit. Change one thing in your life, because if nothing changes, nothing changes. Rule number 5 is the 10-second rule. So let's be real here. Like, we Negative thoughts are going to come into your mind. That's inevitable. We're human beings, and it's not a— you know, we want to make this challenge possible, right? Achievable. It's unrealistic to say you're not going to have a single solitary negative thought in the next 30 days. But the rule is catch it, challenge it, change it. 10-second rule is the moment you notice a negative thought coming into your mind, you have 10 seconds to replace it with another one, with a better one, a positive thought. So we can find ourselves—I do it all the time—where I'm ruminating or having a negative thought, and I've been there for a few seconds, maybe ten seconds. Any more than that, it becomes self-indulgent. At that point, you're enjoying the negativity; you're indulging in it; you're wallowing in it. So you have ten seconds to catch it and replace it. If you don't do it in the ten seconds, we're back to day one. So yeah, you miss the ten seconds; the challenge resets. So again, I know many of you are screaming right now. Well, how do I change the thought, Cody? When I when I find that negative thought, how do I change it? Well, here's how you do it. When you catch a negative thought, you don't accept your first interpretation as a fact. This is the problem. I'm using the text message as an example. You get the text message, you negatively interpret, and then you stamp fact over the top of it. It's not a fact. It's your negative interpretation is all it is. The the fact is you got a text message. Everything else is a reflection of you, not the situation. Reflects reflects accurately on you. Reflects nothing of the situation. So ask yourself. Oh oh sorry. So you've got to. You're not trying to prove the negative thoughts wrong. You're breaking the assumption that that thought must be right, is all we're doing here. And the way you do that is you ask the question, well, what else could this mean, right? That, that's how you do this. You ask yourself the question, what else could this mean? I missed a slide there, sorry, confused myself. So when you catch a negative thought, don't accept it. Ask yourself, what else could this mean? Because the goal is not to prove the negative thought wrong. Is to break the assumption that it must be right. Right now, you just assume that your negative thoughts are right. They must be right. You get a text message, you come up with a negative interpretation, and it just— you just assume that that's what it is. You must be right. All we're looking to do is assume— is to break that assumption and, and put some doubt into the situation. Well, that's one possible outcome, but what are some other possible outcomes? Might mean she's just busy. Might mean that she's driving. Might mean that she's in a conversation with somebody else. Might mean she's on the phone and she put somebody on hold, sent the message quickly because it popped into her mind. There's a dozen reasons that she could have sent you a shortcut text message. It doesn't mean she's out banging some other dude right now. So what can you expect realistically if you do this? Well, within 7 to 10 days, you're going to see some very predictable shifts, right? The expected effects is your lower internal noise levels are going to decrease dramatically. You're going to become more decisive. You're going to become more effective. You're going to become less emotionally reactive to the situations. You're going to create much more bandwidth for problem solving. So a key point to understand here is your state controls everything. If you are in a negative state, you are going to take negative actions and you're going to create more negativity. You have to— if, if you want to be attractive, you have to find a way to create a positive internal state. Because an orange tree will only ever produce oranges, a lemon tree will only ever produce lemons, an orange tree will never produce lemons, and vice versa. The eternal internal state that you are in, you will produce more of. If you're in a state of anxiety and you act out of that state of anxiety, you will only create more anxiety. If you're in a state of fear, you will only create more fear. Never did a man acting out of anger create peace. Never did a man acting out of fear create gratefulness. Never did a man acting out of anxiety reduce that anxiety. It only produces more. And you have to recognize the state that you're in. If you're in a negative state, you're just going to produce more and more negativity. The biggest impact, the highest— the smallest hinge that swings the biggest door is your state. Everything comes out of your state, and the 30-day negative negativity diet is the way to permanently transform that state into a positive, productive one that gives you the best chance of the results that you look— so looking for. So again, more expected effects, improved self-command, less mental friction in your own head, a sharper sense of awareness as to what's going on. Clearer moral and strategic judgment on the situations that you're facing. Because ultimately negativity is a tax, it's a bandwidth tax. As long as you're being negative and you're engaging in negativity, it is consuming a huge amount of bandwidth. You only have a certain amount of ability to process information and act, and that negativity is all-consuming. It consumes virtually, if not 100%, of your mental processing and bandwidth that you have available, and it is a huge, huge, huge tax to pay. When you are able to move to a state of clarity, etc., to a more positive place, you free up a huge amount of bandwidth to actually process what's going on and choose a course of action that's productive versus acting like a monkey with a machine gun because you've created an internal world that is so negative that You're terrified. You, you're terrified by your own thoughts. So our goal here is to remove that bad negativity bandwidth tax and to simply reclaim your capacity. You have a huge amount of capacity to act positively on the situation, but you simply can't do it right now because you're just consumed with the negativity tax that I've just talked about. So we of course have a choice here. We can, we can do this or we cannot do this. And talking about doing it or saying I'm gonna do it or thinking you've done it when you haven't is also non-compliance. So the consequence of non-compliance, or in other words, just not doing it, is, uh, it's going to be, uh— oh, sorry, I've lost it here. I've lost my slide. Well, it's going to be a continued loss of, uh, Bandwidth, you're going to continue to produce more negativity. You're going to continue to escalate the situation. You're going to continue to negatively interpret, which results in escalation. You're going to continue to push your wife further and further away, etc., etc. So what happens if if you can't do this? If you can't go thirty days without negativity, is you're dealing. You're not dealing with habits anymore. You're dealing with a man in a state of identity malfunction. Your identity is malfunctioning at this point, at least in terms of the outcome of I'm trying to save my marriage here. I want to win my wife back. If you can't do the 30 days, which ultimately will go beyond that—30, 60, 100—we're just setting it at 30. Ultimately, we want to move into this permanently. You're dealing with a man whose identity malfunction is he's addicted to chaos. He has a total. dependent on emotional stimulation. He's unwilling to enforce internal boundaries within himself. And that identity malfunction ends up— it breaks your wealth, it breaks your health, it breaks your marriage, it breaks your spiritual connection with whatever you believe, it destroys your leadership with precision. It destroys everything with precision. Negativity is the most destructive thing you can engage in in your life. So what we're talking about here is the negativity diet. It is actually— then it— this is the repair to that. This is the repair to the, uh, the identity damage that's happened here. And what we've just revealed here is actually the causes that are actually causing your suffering. Not your wife is not causing your suffering. The situation is not causing your suffering. We've got negative inputs that are producing negative outputs, is all that's going on. So the question here that I'm going to leave you with is, what has negativity cost you in the last 12 months? What's it cost you more than— you know, let's go longer than that. What, what is the bill? What price are you paying for this? Sit down and think about it. What is— what actions have you taken that were irreversible because you negatively interpreted a situation, then you went into full-blown escalation and you just couldn't walk it back? Damage that you've done with your wife, with your children, with people around you. When you sit down and you count the cost, it's astronomical. And the reason I say that is because negativity is easy. Changing your psychology and your identity to a man who is positive and seeks out what is positive in this world, not what is negative— this takes work, this takes effort. It's not effort-free. And as I said at the beginning, many of you will only take action— unfortunately, men as a whole only take action when the cost of action is lower than the cost of inaction. When the cost of doing the work actually, or the pain of doing the work, is actually less than the pain of staying where you are. It becomes, it becomes— we only take action when, when we find that staying where we are is more painful than taking the action. So figure out what this has cost you in the last 12 months and decide if you want to escalate this and continue with that, or decide if you want a different outcome. If you want a different outcome, this is the pathway to it. So that's the end of that. Let me jump over to Q&A.