The Power of Setting Goals with Kara Helms and Ladies Kickin Assets

Welcome, welcome, welcome. We are so excited to have you join us again today. We have got an incredible, incredible guest, Kara Helms. The amazing Kara Helms. Um, we are going to kind of deep dive into this amazing goals retreat that you and your husband set up. And it is one of my favorite events. It is such a powerful, powerful event. But thank you for joining us today, and thank you all for joining Robin and I.

Yes, thank you for having me. I am super excited to talk about goals. It is my favorite thing.

Oh, gosh. You know, I never even set goals. I mean, not really. You know, I have always had the what are the things that we resolution? You know, and I've. I've stopped doing that. And here, you know, last year, after going to my first goals retreat, you know, goal setting, actually. I mean, you can actually see my gigantic list of goals. I mean, it's. It's so much more powerful than resolutions.

Yes, definitely. 100%. I got thinking about goals. Robert and I were actually talking about goals. We talk about goals all the time. But one of the things we talked about was something that hit me. I said, you know, who sets goals and why do people set goals? What is it that drives somebody to set a goal? Is it just to obtain something and okay, next. Or is a goal something that helps you become better at your craft, better at who you are, better in your family, and therefore you do obtain all those wonderful things that come in a line with setting a goal? I think it is really important that people think about, why am I setting this goal? Why do I want this? What are others getting out of it, and what is going to happen to me once I obtain this goal? So we have that conversation a lot, especially when you have teenage boys and they want all the things, okay, well, what is your why? We get back to the why. It is so important to understand the root of your goals.

No, I love that. So Robert said, when the why is clear, the how becomes obvious, which was, you know, obviously from the amazing Jim Rohn. And so that's one of the things that I really had to kind of step back and figure out over this last bit of time was, okay, here's this, you know, gigantic list of goals. Why do I want that? Why am I trying to create that? And. And it really does, you know, when we had to set our personal mission statements, that is really powerful because that is what tells you who you are and what you're trying to. Why you're trying to accomplish those things.

Yes, and that is hard, too, coming up with your personal Mission statement. The average person has not really thought about what that really means. And all the work that goes into your personal mission statement, it doesn't. You can't create. Well, you can if you are spot on, on who you are and your direction, but a lot of times it takes time and effort and just a deep dive to create that personal mission statement. And I know so many people in my circle who, once they have their personal mission statement, then they have their family mission statement and they have it on the wall for everybody to see and ask, well, what is that? And so it's nice when you have a coming together within yourself and within your family with a personal mission statement.

I think one of the things that you lightly touched on is taking time to deep dive. It's not something that you can scribble out typically, if it's your first go at that. I think what makes the goals retreat such a powerful experience is that you really are put in a setting where you're not having any disruptions. You don't have any phones going off, you're focused. There's allocated dedicated time to sit and just think. And so many of us are so busy with good things, you know, and we, we know that, you know, you have to let go of the good to usher in the great. Right, which is powerful, but you also have to allocate time to think and give yourself permission to think. And then you have to have moments where you can even put some of your deepest, deepest desires down on paper that you might even be afraid to tell someone else. Yes, get it out there so that you can see. Okay, now what is my why for that? Is it because I'm trying to keep up with the folks I'm hanging out with? Or is it because it gives back to the community? Or is it personal development? Or is it just because it's a doodad and I want it? You know, I mean, what, what is your why on all of these things? And I think the time piece of figuring out why takes sometimes years. I know over the last couple of years that I've participated in the goals, and Courtney, you and I have had this conversation. The next year becomes easier because maybe some of the big pieces aren't quite different, but your why behind them, because you've changed, your heart has changed is what is different. And so I think that's how we are evolving into that next better person or self.

Right? You know, you've touched on a few things, Robin, and your timing is perfect because I came across this quote that I think is Perfect. And I was hoping I'd be able to read this and I want to read it really quick because I think it's great. You're suffering from self doubt while others are intimidated by your full potential. So we suffer from, oh my gosh, what are people going to think if I write this down? What are people going to think if I accomplish this? And they're, you know, those types of people are intimidated by your full potential because they know you're going to go after it and get it. And it helps you really understand who your support team is. Who are those people that are not intimidated by you, but your cheerleaders?

And that's why that process. Yeah, five people you spend the most time with are so critical.

100%. 100%. I mean, I look at my circle of friends lately and a lot of them have blonde hair. And I said to Robert the other day, I said, wait, I might have blonde hair. Because these women that I'm surrounding myself with are amazing, uplifting, spiritual go getters. And those are the people that drive me. And that is what I recommend more than anything to people. And in your family too. It's hard when you have family members that are the people that are like, oh, you'll never do that, or and you want to be able to share all your goodness with your family. And there are those in your family that you can't. But you know, like the saying is, you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family. Just go back to remember who you're surrounding yourself with. I could. Whoever you're surrounding yourself with, with friends, I can tell you the direction in your life you're going to be going.

Oh, that's powerful right there.

Definitely.

So powerful.

Write that nugget down. That's a good one.

Well, I have, I have my goals book out and I have so many things tabbed and they're, I mean the whole thing is just chock full of a bazillion different nuggets. But it's so, it's so funny. You know, last year when I went to goals, there were a lot of questions. You know, my personal miss statement, I didn't get that filled out. There were some things I. Like you said, Robin. I needed time to really think on that. And, and I've grown so much over this last year that when I went to goals this year, I know what I'm trying to accomplish. I started out very narrow minded. It was just something I wanted to do for myself and my family. And, you know, that grew To I want to help my friends. And then that grew to, holy cow, I can help the whole world. You know, I'm going to change the world.

Yes.

And. And it's funny how that has evolved in such a short time period. But, you know, when you. When you know why you want to do it, it's so much easier to figure out that path. So now I'm really sitting on, focused on, okay, here are my top 20, the things that I really want to get accomplished. What does that roadmap look like, and how am I going to get that done? And some of them, I have to kind of start with the end and go backwards and figure out what that path is going to look like.

Right.

And so, yeah, you know, setting your goals, it's like that little stair step. You know, you set your goal, you make your plan, you get to work, you stick to it, and you reach that goal. And it's really, you know, and just as important as setting those goals at the end of the year is reflecting back on what you set to see where you got and how you got there.

Right, Right.

Yes.

And measurement in yourself, not against the others, you know, the other.

And why didn't I accomplish some of those goals that I thought o, those are the ones.

Right.

So many times at the goals retreat, I get into conversations with people who. They come to the retreat, and they come time and time again, and they tell me about some of the goals that they set out to accomplish that they're like, you know what? I thought that was important at the time. But the other goals that I started to work on helped me to evolve into this person that surprised me. And so my top goals no longer became my top goals. I am doing things that are changing my mindset and therefore helping others and giving back and taking me in a direction I never thought was possible. So a lot of times when people set goals, they are like, oh, I want the car, I want the house, I want the vacation, blah, blah. And it is all these gumballs, as we call it in our house nuggets. But the root goals, then from there, filter, and you start focusing on those more root goals. And those top ones, they just seem to. These ones down here are what's in your heart. Right. The ones at the top are up here. They're front of mine. You're like, oh, you know, I got to keep up with the Joneses.

Oh, gosh. And it's so funny. I feel like that even has shifted so much. And the things that I thought were important aren't Nearly as important. And not only that, but sometimes, you know, God has a different plan for us. And the things that we. The path that we thought we were on, we might still be on that path, but we might be getting there in a different way. So we just kind of have to pivot and shift our thinking and, you know, and. And as far as, you know, maybe not reaching those goals, sometimes we set these big, you know, hairy, od, audacious goals and we might not hit them. We. Maybe we get halfway there, but that's a huge accomplishment, too. Had you not set that, you never even would have gotten halfway. And so there's just something about setting goals that. That works in your mind, that causes your. Your subconscious to help you make choices and do things that are going to help you accomplish those goals. The mind is so powerful.

Absolutely. Because you're dreaming about them, you're thinking about them, or you're thinking about them and you don't realize you're thinking about them. I mean, at the end of the.

Day, about only 2% of our population sets out to write down goals. Can you imagine if that number was higher? And that is one of the things that is so important to Robert and I and the real estate guys in reaching this younger generation. So if only 2% is setting goals, what kind of example are we setting for this younger generation coming up? So for us, getting that younger generation going in, setting goals or just other types of education that they're not either getting at home or they're not getting at school is such an important thing. And it's.

Yeah, we never set goals in school.

That sits on our hearts. That. Yeah, it's so important.

No, we do.

I want to grow that number.

Yeah, we did, like New Year's resolutions, you know, and those were. Those were things that we'd go around and at the dining room table when I was, you know, younger, even into my 20s, you know, and talk about, gosh, even into my 30s, you know. And we thought we were really, really doing something wonderful by identifying those things, you know, and so it's really different and amazing how, you know, it goes back to who are you hanging out with? Who's pouring into you? What's your educational track? What's your support track? Because you only know what you know with, who you're hanging out with and what they know. And even if it's good and harmless and, you know, great, it doesn't unlock your full potential. Right.

And you need to understand where your pods of your circles, like, I can hang out with These people for a little while every six months.

Exactly.

You know, you need to learn in yourself how to turn it on and turn it off. Right when to say when.

Yes. Well. And I tell you, one of the other things that has had such a big impact and shift on my thinking is that it is none of my business what other people think of me, which is a big deal. And I struggled with that for a little while. And just maybe, you know, I. You hear people talk a lot about this imposter syndrome, and there for a little bit, it was like, gosh, I am surrounded by all these incredible people. Like, do I deserve to be in this room with these people?

Deserve to be.

No, absolutely.

I deserve to be here 100%.

But I struggled with that for a little bit because this was people that, you know, have gone out and done such incredible things, and here I am, new in this space, and it's like, gosh, what. What do I have to offer? Because, you know, we're always trying to bring value and, you know, help others. And so I struggled with that. And that fear of rejection is real. And I tell you what, that is one of those things that I have written down and affirmed, like, I am getting rid of that fear of rejection. I'm not going to worry about what other people think of me because you know what? Not everybody's going to like. Not everybody's going to like what I have to say. And that's okay.

That's okay. And, Kara, you overcame one of those things this past year at goals. You want to talk about that? I'm so proud of you.

Me too.

I'm so proud of you. Yeah, well, I did. I had a stretch goal. It wasn't a big bhag. A big, hairy, audacious goal, but it was a stretch goal. And simply that just means doing something out of your comfort zone. And so this year at goals, I opened the event, I went up on stage and I introduced the event, and I talked a little bit about the event and I talked about some examples. And I loved. Was going back 18 years ago, almost 19 years ago, when Russ said to me, hey, I need you to introduce this. This event. It was, I think, landlord boot camp or something like that. And he knew that, you know, I did a lot of modeling way back when my prior life. So I was always up on a stage, but I never spoke. I just, you know, walked. Right. I can't walk, so I. I'm like, okay. And so I went up there and it was a complete disaster. Like, pull the hook out get her off the stage. Horrible.

I can't even believe that. Like, that's even hard for me to even think. Ask Robert.

It was horrible. So, literally, I was like, okay, covers. I'm not doing that again. Don't ask me. I never said that, though. But it was so bad. They never asked me to come back. So then lately, the past, I don't know, year two years, I don't know why, but I just have been feeling like, you know, I think I could do this again. There's something about getting older. There's something about going back to what Courtney said. It's none of my business what you think of me, and I have to get over that, too, because, you know, haters are going to hate and lovers are going to love, and, you know, you just have to figure out who your camp is and forget about the haters. But that's hard. It's easy to say. Hard to do. So back in August, I said to Robert, I said, you know, this has been on my heart for quite a while. And I just, you know, I. I think I want to open up goals. And he was like, what? Really?

He goes, I would love that.

And I said, really? And he said, I just know how you probably felt about the one time you did it, and. And literally, I'm not even joking. It was 18 years ago, so it's taken a long time. So, anyway, I went up there. I can't say I knocked it out of the park, but I feel good enough that I would love to do it again if Robert will have me. We'll see. But it was fun, and I was nervous as I'll get out. But we had a very special moment prior to me going up on stage, and it was really surreal. God really had a hand in this. So the reception was going on outside. There was nobody in the room but Robert, my two boys, and myself. Oh. And we were all sitting there, and we were sitting on the stage, and I said, I'd like to. To pray. And the room was dark and quiet, and everything just went quiet. And we prayed for. Just over the event, we prayed over all the people that we could hear outside having a great time. We prayed over me, and it was just beautiful. And I really think my confidence and my ability to get back up on that stage is because of my belief in God, my faith, my passion for my church, and all the people that I surround myself with now who look at me and go, that was really great, Kara. You did a really great job. Or, you know what? That was really great. Maybe do this, this, and this next. And you know what? I am good with that. I am good with the people that I trust in my life to give me good criticism, not destructive. Yes, thank you. They're not trying to knock me down. They're trying to bring me back up.

Yes, yes, yes.

And that is the difference.

Yes, absolutely.

So, yes, thank you for asking about that. It was. It was really fun. And, you know, who knows? Who knows? We'll see.

Yeah, but you're very natural. You're very natural with that, and you do such a great job. You're very thoughtful in your work and your actions, and you just carry yourself so amazingly well. So I think you're incredible. I'm so honored to be your friend.

Me too. Me too. So I want to just quickly talk about Three is a Charm. So for our listeners today, you don't know, but Kara was our very first podcast interview, and she graciously said, yes, I would love to have you guys interview me. Which was. We were just. Just thought that was so special. And we did not run. We did not post that.

That's probably a good thing.

And no.

Well, for all of us, I would love to say what a pleasure it is to come back essentially one year later. And we tried last week when you.

And Courtney ice capac.

And so we. We worked on our recording and we were wi fi was crazy. So Three is a charm. So I am thrilled that we are finally getting a recording and that this one is going to go live. And I'm just.

We've come so far. This was a goal.

Yeah, it was.

And, you know, we've hit some really cool milestones, which, you know, that part of some of those things are on my goal list for this year. My ever growing goal sheet that I can keep adding.

Yeah. Yes, we all have that.

So, anyway, I just want to say thank you for being so flexible and pivoting with us and being available on the front side when we started this, and we were. I was stumbling over even introducing ourselves as ladies Kicking Assets. And, you know, we're about empowering women. And I know you are in that same way about that very same passionate, you know, piece of empowering women with financial education and helping women feel comfortable in their skin.

Yeah.

And, you know, having the ability to take action, it's a choice that brings.

Me to something totally a little bit different. So yesterday in church, we had. We're going through a series right now called Good Gifts, Bad God. And the premise of that is that we have gifts and they. They make Great gifts, but they make. We can't idolize those things. And so, you know, it's one of those things. And, you know, I overthink everything to death. That is just what I do. It is. You know, one of these days, maybe I won't be that person, but probably not. So what I sit there and thought about this giant list of goals that I have, and I thought, okay, am I coming from the right place in that. You know, how. How do we make sure that those goals are coming from a good place and they're not. We're not idolizing them. We're not idolizing money or success or. You know, one of the things I literally prayed about yesterday was, you know, if I'm making something, an idol, you know, for God to. To show me that and, And. And make me aware. So I just wanted to kind of bring that up and. Have y' all thought about anything like that? Does that ever enter. Really do think that I come from a good place. I give all the glory to God and everything that I do. I'm so grateful and thankful, but I just. I've been thinking about that since yesterday.

It's very powerful, for sure. Well, are you idolizing and why?

Right.

And yeah, you're not hearing from your one true God about these things that you are obtaining and holding like this. You've got to redesign your priorities. Well, you got here.

You can't hold like this. It's like this.

It's.

Oh, that's.

That's good.

That's true. It's never this. And when it is this, that's when it's. You know, it goes back to the blessings come in and the blessings come out. We are simply conduits.

Yeah.

You know, when you think of yourself in that way, because everything comes from the Lord, the good and the bad. He absolutely never promised that it was going to be perfect and amazing. Sometimes people look at. At many of us and they're like, oh, everything seems so amazing and wonderful and.

Well, that's part of the problem with social media. You know, I love the little.

And it's not. It's not amazing. It's. It's. But it's. What do we do with that?

They're lessons.

Yeah.

God gives us lessons to better ourselves. Absolutely. We absolutely have to learn from those lessons to make things better.

Yes. Yes.

We don't have the bad if we only know good. It's not harder to appreciate it as.

Much when you haven't gone through. And nobody learns anything in the good times. You learn everything. In the hard times and the challenges and the things that we have to work through.

Through.

I learned some things in the good. I learned some things in the good.

I mean, I guess that was probably a wrong statement.

I think at the goals retreat, one of the powerful things that we do, just kind of thinking about what we're saying here is having people pick a word.

Yes.

That is encompassing of, you know, where they're at now or where they've been or where they're going.

Yes.

And I think that's such a powerful exercise. When you're talking about good versus bad, you get that word and you zero in on that and you're like, ok. And it helps you stay, I think, focused. For instance, my word. This year I had a couple things that I'm like, what is my word? What is my word? I've got to let go this year, and I have to have faith because I've got. My baby boy is graduating this year and turning 18. So I've got to let go and have faith that God has a hand in all the things. When I was looking at all the words, the most incredible thing happened. I'm not even kidding. Everything went fuzzy around all the other words, except for this one word. And it was bright as the day. And I looked at it and I looked up and I said, really? And my word was ready.

Yes. Oh, I just got chills.

I have to be ready. I have to be ready for the good. I have to be ready for the bad. And I have to be ready. I have to armor up for all that is coming to guide my family, to guide my boys, to guide my friends, to guide myself. And I just thought, wow. Ready? It never would have ever occurred to me that that was going to be my word. Ooh.

But it's so fitting.

But, yes, it really was. But just the experience of it all was very fascinating.

It was one of those supernatural moments.

It was.

You won't forget that.

It was amazing. I loved it.

Oh, I love that. Well, Robin, what's your word?

I have my. Oh.

I love that.

I have to get a copy of that from you because I don't have one. Oh, look at your board.

My vision board.

I'm very.

But my word is radiance for 2023. My word was joy last year.

Okay.

Word is radiance. And so I tied some scripture to that. You know, we were in Kyle Wilson's group, and there was a lady really kind of talking about thinking back in December about your word and tying scripture to that and declaring that and so my scripture comes from Isaiah 60, verses 1 through 5. And so I just kind of put that here. But my word is a powerful word for me and my family and sort of where my goals in general are going this year, which is moving from generational wealth to legacy. Legacy is a very important piece in my journey with stewarding the things that we're stewarding and I'm personally stewarding. And so my goals are more from that perspective than. Anyway, just I could go on about it.

Oh, legacy is so important. Legacy is something that you instill in your family and your children that they will carry on forever. You can give them a huge amount of money and inheritance, and that's not going to teach them anything.

Yeah.

But a legacy will live on and on and on. I love that so much.

I do, too.

That's awesome.

Go, Courtney.

Okay. Well, you know, last year, you know, I'm kind of newer to all of this goal setting, and last year, my word was overcome, and, you know, I wanted to overcome, you know, that fear of rejection and do I belong here? And overcoming, you know, the obstacles of learning how to get involved in the syndication space and, you know, just overcoming a lot of, you know, limits that I had placed on myself. And this year, my word is breakthrough. So I am. Am just going to break through all of these goals that I have set. I'm going to break right through, you know, those limits that I had placed on myself. And this is really a year of, you know, last year, I really was kind of figuring out where I was going and where I was headed, what I wanted to accomplish, why. And this year is really about building and laying really amazing foundations. And, you know, part of my personal mission statement is to create a, you know, real wealth, which involves health and finances and a lot of things that are encompassed in that for my family, and then to spread that to as many other people as I can. Because if we don't have health, all the money in the world doesn't matter.

Yeah.

No. And. And in the things that we're doing, we're changing not only my life and my family's lives, but other people's lives as well. And that is one of the most amazing feelings ever. So, you know, I'm really trying to lay some groundwork this year into making that happen so that I can eventually, you know, bring my children into this. And it's really exciting. I am really excited. You know, I, I. The year has just started off with a bang, and it's. It's awesome. I cannot wait to See, I told my husband Yesterday, I said, 2023 is going to be the most amazing year. I am so excited. I don't know how in the heck we're already in February, but either. I don't.

Yeah.

It is. So, anyway, so I'm excited about this year. I'm excited that I've gotten very clear on, you know, my personal mission statement, why I want to accomplish those things. I have some gumballs in there. You know, a few little things.

You have to. You need rewards.

You have to celebrate.

You have to celebrate.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's kind of funny because I kept telling myself, okay, once I reach this goal, I'm going to reward myself with this. And I keep moving the goal post bag.

Everybody handles it differently.

That's okay, too.

I do buy the shoes. I do reward myself. That's true. You do buy the shoes. I do like the shoes.

So I do want to include one more thing. Our time is.

Yes, it is.

But in terms of celebrating and gumballs and all the things and changing your mindset, how do I change my habits to obtain certain goals? And one of the things we did last year was a Create youe Future journal. And in that journal we have a page that you can just make up yourself. But it is 100 days to a better habit, basically.

Yeah.

And I strongly encourage this for anybody who wants to create a new habit, who wants to break a bad habit. For me personally, I do not like to exercise. I just don't. But this is on my wall, and I do 100 days to a good habit of exercising or doing something. And every couple, I don't know, two weeks or whatever, I'm like, yay, I celebrate something. I made it this far. But this 100 day to habit can be anything. It can be the smallest of things or whatever you want it to be. But it is really powerful. And anybody can create a form like this. You don't need something that is already written out. You can get a piece of paper and just put a bunch of numbers on there or mark the numbers down yourself.

And instead of xing them off or crossing them out, you put a V on them for victory.

You put a star on that, you celebrate it. Don't exit out unless it's like something that you, you know, market with an appropriate marking, you know, a celebratory marking or. But it's important. I think it's a very powerful exercise. John Asaroff is the creator of this. This actual one here.

There's just something powerful about writing something down and Then. Then visually seeing it. Which is why, you know, my. My goals are, you know, I've got my. My gigantic page, but then I have, you know, my smaller, you know, number that sits in my daily planner and I look at it every single day. There's just something powerful about writing that and visually seeing it.

It is. It's true.

Absolutely. You know, I've got my whiteboard right here and every day I look.

Love a whiteboard.

My scripture that says I can do all things through Christ, who gives me the strength that I need.

Yes.

And that is forefront. I see that right when I sit down here in the morning. I am like, ok, I got this. So just little snippets around your office or, you know, 100 days to a good habit. Just writing things down and surrounding yourself with the people that will raise you up. Powerful.

Powerful.

Yeah.

So good.

You have shared with us some of the most amazing re highlights, if you will, from Goals. And I think these are some really tangible things that our viewers and listeners can take away and also can look at attending next year's goals, which is going to be in Dallas.

In Dallas. We're so excited.

January, what is it, the 8th? It's something like that. They can go to the.

It's this. It's the second weekend in January. Yes. Go to goalsrecht.com.

Yeah, I'll include the link in the show notes. That way people can click on it. I highly recommend it. It's so powerful.

Yes. No, well, you know, no, I'm just getting that from my memory. You know, I don't even know what changed and day by.

Yes, we're very excited to have it in Dallas. You know, a mutual location. You know, Dallas weather can be a little sketchy, but the good Lord will have us in his hands.

But the airport's easy to get in and out of and, you know, dfw.

So, yeah, yeah, we're excited. We're gonna. We're gonna sell it out again.

Yes. Yes. Well, thank you so much, Kara. Really appreciate it.

Thank you, guys.

Yes. This was awesome.

The amazing Tara Helms.

Yes.

Thank you, Courtney and Robin.

All right. Go out and have an amazing day and set goals. It's powerful. It changes your life.

It does.

Yes. And we ask our. Our listeners to like and subscribe to Ladies Kicking Assets. And you can find Kara's events that are listed on the website for therealestateguys.com. did I get that correct? I believe I did. Yes, I did. All right, Love to all. Bye. Bye.