Change This Language to Stop Using

You know, in my opinion, there's a difference between I can't stop using and I won't stop using. Sounds like a Miley Cyrus song. But one of them is true, right? The other one keeps you sick. Hey, my name is Dallas. I'm a chemsex recovery coach. David Hawkins wrote about this in the book I'm reading, Letting Go. He said most of our I can'ts are really I won'ts. And behind almost every one of them is fear. So I want you to sit with that for a second, because it's the most useful thing anybody has ever handed me. And I can't stop using says that you are a passenger, a victim. It means that the drug has the wheel and you're— there's nothing you can do about it. It sounds humble. It's actually a way of escaping responsibility without admitting that you are choosing. I won't stop is harder to say, but But it's honest, and it means a part of you is still choosing this. There's a reason. There's a reason for it. You have finally found why you keep using. You won't stop. And if there's a reason, there's something to work with, because that's the whole shift here. Because a man who can't stop has nowhere to go. He's a victim of his own chemistry, and nothing he does matters. A man who won't stop has a reason. And reasons can be found and examined and changed and excavated and unpacked. Hawkins said that the fear behind the won't is the thing to look at, not the thing itself. So the question isn't, can't— why can't I stop? You can. That's the uncomfortable news. The question is, what am I getting from not stopping? And what am I afraid of losing if I do stop? Sit with those honest questions, those, the honest version of that. Stop being a victim and stop being an ob— start being an observer. What are you getting from staying where you are? Comment group if you want to have this kind of conversation in my coaching program. Unpack, unpeel, excavate, and let's get to the bottom of it.