ADHD Disrupt with Stephanie Scheller

Perfect, perfect, perfect. Speaking of which, what is your language tolerance for your platform? I will usually avoid the F-bomb, but, um—

Uh, we have zero language tolerance, so as in say whatever the fuck you want.

Oh, okay. I thought that was like— I was like, is that a— is that a kid even thing? Hi!

Hello everyone, I'm Danielle and this is Stephanie, and we are here to talk about ADHD Disrupt, which I am so freaking excited about. Um, I get to speak at this conference that Stephanie— or summit that Stephanie is putting on May 24th. I'm super excited about it because one, we don't know the person that introduced us.

I know, that's hilarious. That still kills me a little bit.

Like, that somebody introduced us and connects— connected us, and we, of course, being ADHD, we're like, oh yeah, I'll talk to another ADHD person, that's not a problem. Got on the call and she went— Stephanie went, so who introduced us? I'm like, I don't know, I thought they knew you.

Yeah, and I'm like, yeah, no, I don't know this person. And the funniest thing was like they'd sent me a friend connection request, but then they never replied to any of my like, hey, how did you find me? So like, I don't know. But you know what, this is social media, this is how it works. So This is totally how it works.

So we met and we only talked for 15 minutes and we talked about her summit coming up and I'm like, oh, that sounds so cool. I wish I would have been able to get in on that because I'm doing a lot of speaking this year. And that was the end of it. That was the end of the 15-minute call. She had to jump. I had to jump. And the next day I get an email from Stephanie going, I opened up a spot for you.

It was like, because we'd already— I like literally about the day we met, I think was the day after I set the agenda. And so I'd already sent out all the speaker offer letters and you and I were chatting and it was content that I'd wanted to fit into the event. But one, I didn't have a speaker for it. And two, I was like, I just don't have room in the agenda. So I went to my co-producer and I was like, hey, so I think we're going to do like a 6-hour event instead of a 5-hour event. He was like, okay. So that was—

Sure, why not?

Yeah.

And so here I am, and now I get to speak, and I am so excited because one of my— I'm fangirling because Dr. Hollywell is speaking at the same event that I am. And as a, uh, as somebody who lost everything last October, you guys have heard me talk about this a million times. I started over from scratch everywhere online. I have literally started over from scratch everywhere online. So I have zero, like next to zero following everywhere, or I did a month ago. I've been working hard at getting everything up, but I get to speak with Dr. Hollywell. That's just like the coolest thing ever.

It's, it's really funny sometimes. Like I will do outreach. It really is reassuring to me to see. So we've worked so hard to build like the Grow Disrupt brand and what we represent and the people know us. And so reaching this point where I can reach out to some of these speakers now and like get responses is always just a little bit like, did that just happen? Like, you know, this was definitely one of them that I was like, hey, we're doing this event. Like, I got an email back like, I don't know, 2 hours later, and I was like, cool, he answered me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was, it was definitely a, I did not expect to get a response moment, and I did, and that was I'm super excited.

So tell us why Grow Disrupt and ADHD Disrupt.

So why Grow Disrupt? Grow Disrupt originally started because, well, let's be honest, it started because I have like the 18-month itch, except I just reinvented my business every 18 months. So like I just started a new business every 18 months, which is a really terrible way to build a sustainable business. Um, so I ended up starting to do events back in like, like, like Build Your Business style conferences in 2017. And what I found was I could reinvent the conference so I could have some structures and systems and things that were the same, and I could put that on someone else on the team so I don't get bored with it. Um, but I could have all these pieces that I could reinvent every single year. And so now we have a business that I've been running since 2017. I haven't had to go reinvent myself or start a new business and come up with all brand new ways of doing everything. And what happened was in 2020, when we— obviously 2020 was not a great year to be an events company. And then we doubled in size. And so we were trying to figure out what the heck happened. And we realized that we'd accidentally— like, I just remember I had a list of all of the things that made our events special because I was sitting here and there was 2 sides to it, right? I was like, okay, so we did a lot of marketing. But also people showed up for live in-person events at a time when no one wanted to leave the house. What did we do? And so I was sitting there and I was like, what did we do with our events that created that level of fanaticism? And so I had a list of all the things we do at our events. And like, I listed out everything, every stupid thing that I did on purpose, but I didn't always know why, like 5 chairs at each table. And I had no idea why I did 5 chairs at each table. I just knew that was the secret sauce that I found that worked. And I just remember sitting here and it was like an afternoon and like my brain was like— and I was just scrolling on like TikTok and I ended up like scrolling through ADHD Talk. And I just remember like watching a video and being like, oh, I didn't know I did that because of my ADHD. Next one. I didn't know I did that either. And then there was like this moment of like 3 or 4 videos in, all of a sudden looking and looking and realizing every single item on the list was because of my own ADHD. Like, we just tried to keep Stephanie focused at the event. And so that was when we were like, oh, so that's why Grow Disrupt was literally Stephanie was trying not to be bored with her life. And so she ended up putting on events that would keep her from being bored. Um, so there's the short answer. And then ADHD Disrupt really came about because I've had all these people. So all of our events have always been about how do you grow your business? Like you're a business owner. How do you grow your business? And how do you learn this stuff in a way that makes sense for your brain? But starting, I guess, 2022, 2023, I have had people pestering me for, okay, so when are you going to do an event for how to manage your ADHD, Seth? Because you don't act like someone with ADHD. No one would believe you have ADHD. And also, you've learned all this crazy stuff about how to manage other people's ADHD. Like you manage people's ADHD. ADHD for them at your events? And I was like, oh, no one wants to learn about that. Um, but then people kept asking, so eventually I was like, okay, well, I guess what if we did this event? And the response was overwhelming. So that's why ADHD Disrupt was like— everyone was just begging, pestering me for it, and I was like, all right, let's, let's do an event on how do you manage your ADHD, how do you make it truly make it your superpower.

And so Here we go. So I am speaking about getting past executive dysfunction. This is what my passion is about. And I, I talk about this all the time and how to decrease the overwhelm so that executive dysfunction doesn't impact us quite as much. Because that's, that's how I do all of the things I do every day is because I've learned how to get past my executive dysfunction.

Most things. Right.

Not perfectly.

It's not as simple as like, I was chatting with a lady earlier. I was actually telling her about you and what you're gonna be talking about at the event because I was like, she, she, the things she was saying to me, I was like, you really probably should at least come to this event to hear Danielle talk about getting there because she's like beating herself up for why can't I just do it? Why don't I just do it? And I was like, here's the thing. Like, you're just one, you're making it worse beating yourself up for, for not, because it's not as simple as just being like, oh, I'm just gonna get past executive. It's not that. That's not how it works. Right.

So anyhow, yeah, there isn't getting past executive dysfunction. It's understanding your executive dysfunction and knowing how to cater to today's version of it.

I love the way you just said that.

Because today's version doesn't look like tomorrow's version, didn't look like yesterday's version, and it's not going to look like next month's version. And understanding patterns and energy and overwhelm and all of the things is how you get past your executive dysfunction. And that's And people, whenever I tell a client that in our first session, they just look at me and their eyes glaze over like, you have got to be kidding me.

Did you— weren't you going to give me a secret weapon? Silver bullets? What's— come on.

I actually am. I actually have 3 keys, the 3 keys, and one of them is breathing.

Well, good. I'm pretty good at that one. I'm assuming probably not the same way you're talking about.

Not the way you might think, because you want to know what ADHDers do? We hunch over, we're working on the thing, and we hold our freaking breath.

Um, switching to a chair that forces me to sit back was one of the best things that I did, because you're right. And, and then at the end of the day, back hurts, everything hurts. You can't freak— can't even stand up.

I have a sit-stand, and this area of my desk goes up and down. This I can sit at and I have a walking pad under it. There are, there are a lot of things to staff your executive dysfunction. And I'm going to be talking about staffing your executive dysfunction because staffing can look like a million things with executive dysfunction and a walking pad, breathing right, taking a break and starting my day over when my day is terrible.

I need to get better at that one. I know I need to do that. And then I don't do it as well as I should all the time.

So there's, there's a lot of things that we can do, and there are a lot of tips that I'll give you in this. But so when ADHDers get together, we're insane. But when ADHDers get together, they share some of the most amazing tips and tricks. Christina and I did a live 2 weeks ago, I think now, for talking about ADHD Disrupt, because Christina is one of the other speakers, and she's talking about DOPA menus, which is something I've been talking about for like 20 years. And I'm like, oh, I can't wait to hear somebody else talk about this because I want to hear her version.

Oh, I'm so excited. I'm so excited. Honestly, I just put on this event because I wanted to learn from all of y'all and I needed an excuse.

Okay, that's why I'm going to Disney World and taking people to Disney World.

Isn't that why all of us do anything, basically? Like, and then here's the thing, we, we do that and then we just really kick ass at it because we obsess over every detail. We're like, I want to do this thing. So I'm going to bring a bunch of people along for the ride with me and then we just do it really well. So I'm, I'm cool. I'm down with this.

I mean, I am going to Disney World and taking ND adults with me to Disney World to teach them how to, one, staff their executive dysfunction, two, get out of overwhelm. And so I can hyperfocus on Disney science and neurological science for months on end. That's why I'm taking you to Disney World.

Yeah. Oh my gosh.

But that's why we do things. Like, I had something pretty major happen 3 weeks ago, and I went, I could build a better mousetrap. I can make this better. Okay, and 3 weeks later, it's done, and I'm ready to move on. And Vita and I call it the Tuesdayisms. It's Tuesday and autism, ADHD all mixed together. And every Tuesday, we, we just do something new and decide, this isn't that hard, we could just do it.

Yeah, right. We have a terrible tendency to do that on pretty much any— and I say terrible, it's one of those like superpowers. Either we end up over our head or we end up finding something we are just badass at.

Mostly. So now I will say that 99% of the time when I do it, I end up something I'm badass at because I know how to staff the executive dysfunction where I fail at. And that's, that's why it's not because I'm better than anybody else or anything like that. It's that I just know This is what I can't handle. I can't do it on my own. I always staff the things I'm bad at, and I know to ask for help. I'm gonna tell it like that's one of the biggest things with being ADHD is I ask for help. 5-minute or less rule.

Oh, I like that. I don't think I've ever put it down to a 5-minute or less rule. Mine is, is second try. So I'll try something and then I'll try it again. And if it's not working by the second try, move on. But I like the idea of having a 5-minute thing to it? Because sometimes that first try and second try ends up being 10, 15 minutes long.

So, so 5-minute rule: when I'm learning to do something new, if I cannot find the resources to do it— it doesn't mean I've actually completed it in 5 minutes— if I can't find the exact resources or haven't decided what platform to use, what thing to use, or whatever in 5 minutes or less, I ask somebody else. And I only ask a max of 3 people. I do not go to a Facebook group to ask the question.

Uh, oh, speaking of, sorry, um, you said something earlier and I was gonna ask because I was on Reddit and someone was asking about the walking pads for ADHDers. So you said you have one. Is that helpful? Because they were like, is it actually helpful? And I was like, well, I don't know.

Oh my gosh, is it helpful! Oh my gosh. When— so one, it increases my focus time because I'm doing something. You need multi-sensory input most of the time, right? So walking while writing or designing or doing something— I can't do walking and coaching. same time. I've tried that and I almost knocked my teeth out. So don't do that.

Fair.

So if it's something that takes a lot of executive function skills where you don't walk, but if it's something that you're just plodding along and doing the thing, walking helps me get the thing done, especially my hard things. 2, it increases my energy instead of having that afternoon crash because I've used too many of my spoons. It actually increased like Brings back some of my spoons that I've been missing some through the day. And I have some major chronic health issues, so I'm saying this as somebody with EDS and POTS and some major autoimmune issues, and walking has solved many of those afternoon major brain issues that I used to have all the time.

Oh, okay. I have been, uh, I've thought about getting the, the walking pads. I don't know that I have enough room with where my— I have to look into it a little bit more. It hasn't been high on the priority list. But one, I will go back to that individual on Reddit and, and let them know because I, I remember looking at it and being like, I have no input for you. I'm so sorry.

Mine folds in half. So my— mine, when it's not in use, folds in half, which is fantastic.

So it gets out of the way. Okay, helpful. Um, you said something else. Oh, the other thing you said earlier was, um, when ADHD people get together, crazy things happen, which is so true. I did a trading last week, I think, and it was like 200 ADHDers. And what was amazing was like, I would be talking on something and I could see the chat going by and someone would ask a question, and sometimes I could answer it and sometimes I couldn't because 200 people, that's a lot of questions flying by. But what was really fascinating to me was like, every time I did not get a question, people would be popping into the chat with answers and ideas and resources and solutions and studies. It was just so Cool to see. I had so many people reach out and be like, that was amazing, I've never had that experience before. I was like, you've never been around your people before, have you?

Yeah, you have to be in a community, like, and that's what I— we do here at NDLR. We have our own online community, and it's— I will tell you that when— if RSD is struck today and you can't get out of it and you are stuck Really stuck and can't get out of it, come in and just say, hi, I'm really struggling today. And you don't even have to tell anybody why. Somebody is going to send you a meme or a video or a GIF or a song or something and help you start to get out of that. And in my community, somebody was really struggling last week, like heart-wrenching struggling. And 7 people said, hey, let's get on a body doubling call, just out of the blue. Oh, it was 11 PM. And they got on a call with this. And they— I guess they were on till 4 AM.

It's, it's interesting to me to watch how this community and this community, the neurodivergent community, the ADHD community, as a whole, I think we've all struggled on our own for so long. And we've all kind of felt like we were screwing it up. And we weren't as good. And so It, it never ceases to amaze me just how supportive everyone really is of each other. Just, it's, it's really cool.

It's really— And it's also, um, you know, the, the, the GIF or meme or whatever, get in, I don't have time to explain, just get in.

Oh yeah.

That is ADHD world, because if something bad happens Yeah, everybody's like, you're ride or die. Who do I have to be? Who would I have to be beat up? What do you need? Do you need coffee? Do you need ice cream? Do you need to cry? What do you need? How do you need us to provide you support?

Let's go. Yep, yep. We are, uh, we're really good at providing that for other people, which is why we have to be around all those other people so that other people can then provide that for us, because we're not always good at doing that for ourselves.

We're actually— especially the more high achieving you are The harder that is for us. Yeah. Yeah, I'm really— yeah, I joke that I have an online community because somebody needs to support me like I support everybody else, because I don't— I won't ask for it. I'll forget to ask for it, right? I will preach it all day long to everybody else, but I won't ask for it for myself.

That's, that's the whole joke we have with these events is we were literally just trying to build the event that could keep Steph's attention. Like, We, we all build. Here's the cool thing about that, right? I think a lot of times I talk to a lot of ADHD entrepreneurs and obviously because that's what the bulk of our events have been for. But we frequently build the thing that we need and then realize we're not that special. And a lot of other people needed it too. Like, not, not that special in a bad way. Like, like there's just a lot of other people dealing with the same situation. That kind of came out wrong.

So we did a vendor event. Vida and I went to a vendor event in Nashville this weekend and our table was covered in coloring sheets and crayons and fidgets. And a couple of like people walked by and they just kind of gave us dirty looks. And I— we found every neurodivergent adult, child, whatever there, and they hung out with us. We had, after talking to the vendors that were there, we have a community for post follow-up. We had 250 really amazing conversations with neurodivergence. You want to know how many other conversations most of the other vendors had? 20, 30.

Yeah, not that many because— hey, so all right, you said the coloring papers and stuff, so I'm in the midst of coloring this in, so don't— but this is our note-taking guide for Isn't that awesome?

That's awesome. I don't know where my coloring sheets went.

I'm so excited. Like, so I'm coloring it in so we have a sample version for everyone, but I'm like, this is the kind of— I love this kind of stuff because it gets the brain engaged. And it was really funny because I am part of a, like, a CEO group, and I think I'm not the only person with ADHD in the room. I'm just the only person who embraces it. So like, I bring stuff to do coloring and like taking notes throughout the day. And like, for a while there, I was like, oh my God, these guys must think I'm like such a child. And one of them finally came up to me and was like, I just have to say, I love watching you work. Like, you're obviously paying attention, but you're coloring and you're like, you're so talented. And I was just laughing. I was like, the only reason I'm paying attention is because I'm—

Because I am coloring. I, I have thinking putty in my hands right now because I can't Dude, dude, this kid out.

I have literally this little worry stone that I'm just sitting here with. I should be, I should be playing with, um, our— yeah, I'm so— this thing is so— so I usually wouldn't call like a stress tool, a stress ball, a, um, a fidget, but there's something about this one that it's just like running your fingers over it because it has texture. It does, and it's so soft. I literally just sit here just playing with this stupid braid. See, like, it's— we're so weird and so cool.

We are amazing and awesome and wonderful, and that's why we create events like these. This is why we create events like these. So I will tell you, Disney, we're teaching— we have somebody coming in and teaching a Zentangle class, which is meditation, doodling. And he's a certified instructor. He's an art teacher and a certified instructor. And that's the first thing that we're teaching them in Disney World.

I feel like Zentangles are— those are what I used to— I don't think I have it up here, but I have— oh, I do, but I'm not— I won't pull it up on my, like, my Supernote. I actually have one of my notebooks on there is just Zentangles, and I'll just pull it up and just like keep running, just keep building. And they're so fantastic because you just keep like, just keep growing around it all the way. It's—

And it's not a perfectionism thing.

I know.

It teaches you to get outside of your perfectionism. It teaches you to occupy the separate half of your brain while focusing on the thing you need to. It is so soothing. And then I can go back and color it in.

Oh, I've never colored it in. I've never colored in my zentangles. I've only ever like drawn them and kept moving on. So, um, I'll have to try.

But then you can go back and color in. I don't have one in front of me, but our coloring sheets Our, our logo with Zentangle behind it.

Nice. I feel like, you know, that's one of the things that I— we're told, right? We have to kind of slow down our brain and do, you know, be more— and I'm like, here's the thing, we retain more information. Like, the reason we started doing these silly coloring things is because there's actual studies showing that more information is retained when you're activating both sides of the brain. So you're activating the brain through the colors and through the drawing. And then there's also room to write in your takeaways, right? So you're getting— you're staying more engaged. It's just, I, I would love to continue to see more people embracing this and recognizing, like, the fact that I sat there in that room of CEOs and for a moment was like, oh my God, I should put away my coloring stuff. And then I was like, no, I don't need their approval. I'm gonna do my own thing. And if they don't like it, someone can bring it up to me, and then I will happily give them the study showing them why they're wrong.

So I have— one of my secrets is I have 2 sets of AirPod Pros. And okay, in one I'm listening to— and my favorite thing right now because I'm stuck on Disney science is I'm listening to Galaxy's Edge music as you walk into Galaxy's Edge in Disney World in one side, and I'm— I've got Stephanie in the other.

That's brilliant. I never thought to do that. Um, But now I feel like I need to go get some more headphones.

And some days you'll see me with one earbud in and one Beats in because I have to have—

because I kill something separate going on. You know what someone recommended to me the other day that was like a game changer lifesaver at an event I went to? He said, just put in the headphones and then do the feed through. So I have the Pixel Pros and it will feed through basically just the voices so you can hear it, but it's— it really mutes out everything. It was like the most amazing— I don't remember what event I was at, but I just remember I was just reaching a point of just panic and overwhelm and just being like, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore. And I was like, okay, I'll put that— and I put the headphones in and it was like the best, like, dulling of the senses. So I've used them for that, but I've never thought to use them for like having something We need multi-sensory input a lot.

So that's something I'm going to teach people and is part of executive dysfunction is how to do multi-sensory input. And my favorite thing is the new Loop earplugs that are the clicks. So you can choose what level, so you could choose—

I've been hearing about these.

To have a different level in each ear if you need.

Oh, interesting.

So I totally block out sound sometimes, like in public, in one ear and, and have it just toned down and the other— that really helps. The other thing that can really help when you're overwhelmed is, you know, those goofy heart-shaped sunglasses that you can buy at the dollar store for little kids that are all different colors?

Yeah.

Find the color that you need to dull down the world around you so that you can function and be on, on camera or in the grocery store or whatever. Get yourself different colored lenses and it is amazing.

That's kind of funny. I, um, I have noticed I will use, um, I use my glasses as like my, my focusing, and I'll end up walking out of the house with like my blue light glasses on, and my husband's like—

But it helps with fluorescent lights and things like that.

It does. It actually— I'm always really quite impressed at how much of a difference it makes, and especially like by the end of the day when my brain is ready to Mm-hmm.

But look at things through purple glasses or yellow glasses or red glasses or green glasses, and it—

that's funny—

looking, staring at your computer, all of those things, it tones down sensory. And I have the whole— I don't have them, they're in my bedroom right now because I was showing somebody something else. Um, and depending on the day you're having, change the color of the world around you.

Ah, so there's some really fun— I need to get this study from Sky, but there's some really fun studies about how Neurodivergence and sensory are more sensory sensitive. So stuff like those colors really do make a difference. Like, I never really— when I set up the lighting behind me, I didn't realize it was for my ADHD, for my— like, that it was how I helped control setting up the space and control, like, how I engage with the space. But we've really— it's amazing how sensitive we are to everything from colors to sound to— it's The more I learn, the more interested I am, and the more I really do wonder how on earth I survived childhood through adolescence to adulthood.

I don't know how I did it, but I did it, and it was hard. I mean, that sound right now on TikTok, I'm like, I could do that for 900,000 things. There was—

so I, I do, I do know one thing. So like when I started to have my, my panic attack, whatever event we were at, I, I realized what I've always done that I never knew is I would make the excuse I have to go to the bathroom and I would go to the very like last stall and just lock myself in there until I got everything back under control. And I never like, it never connected that's what I was doing, but that's what I would go do. It's, it's just, it's really interesting to me how many ways I've accommodated myself.

So they make these, um, these, they, uh, I just use this so that you can't see the disc. There's a metal disc in here and they make them that either that snapping the metal disc makes this super hot, or they make versions that make flipping the little disc makes it super cold. And to reset this, all I got to do is boil it in water, um, for the hot one. So I have a cold one and a hot one. So sometimes because of my autoimmune issues, I get so cold that I start shaking and I can't help it. So if I go like this and I stick it right here, it helps like break the— and it calms my sensory needs down. If I get the one that's cold, if I'm having a bad day and I go like this, Or put it against my neck to reset my vagus nerve.

Oh, interesting.

And I have the, the cold ones that I have are like tiny hand— they're, uh, hippo-shaped ones, um, because they make little good ones.

Because they have to be fun.

Well, I had to be fun. And exactly, but I, but I could take those to a conference with me. I could take them anywhere with me.

That's awesome.

And they help reset my needs.

I, I, I greatly appreciate people are becoming more and more, um, accepting of that stuff and more and more willing to like be like, okay, this is just what I need to be my best version of myself. That was really the whole point of ADHD Disrupt was like, I've learned that it's okay to do what I need to do to be the best version of myself. I want other people to be able to do the same because so often we're sitting here feeling like we can't do it. We have to put ourselves in whatever box. And I, I want other people to feel like they have that, that, that space. And sometimes it just comes down to having the, the verbiage, like the language, to be able to say, this is what I need if you want me to be my best, the best version of myself. And so I don't know why I would want to hide that.

Sometimes it's something as simple as— Vida and I show up and do conferences. We did CHAD last year in tutus and crowns. And just showing up as what we— we want to be fun. We want to be ND out loud. There's a reason why our company is named ND Out Loud, because—

Right.

Why not be neurodivergent out loud? Because I want you to know who I am, what I stand for, and what I'm doing. And by being willing ourselves to stand out and do that, we gather. Gather our community and we bring them in and give them the confidence and courage to do the same for themselves.

When we give, we give— yes, that's what I was exactly what I was going to say. I was going to say we give, we give other people permission to do the same. And it's funny that we feel like we need permission, but we do as humans. And so I have no problem being willing to be that, that person.

Preach, sister, because it's the same way we are, which is why I— we connected so well. Because, because I can't just be myself. I can't— well, I can just be myself, but I can't try to be what other people think I should be, because the minute I do that is the minute I'm not a functional neurodivergent human, because I'm masking.

Right.

The more I'm masking, the less functional I am. The less functional I am, the more overwhelmed I am. The more overwhelmed I am, The more executive dysfunction I have, the more executive dysfunction I have, the more chaos there is. Yeah.

Well, when it comes down to capacity, the more you have to mask, the less energy you have to do. My life got so much easier when I stopped feeling like I had to mask, feeling like I had to put energy into, you know, and it was really funny because I remember when I met Christina, I was still learning a lot of stuff, but I'd heard all this masking stuff and I was really starting to let down a lot of my own masks, but I didn't realize that's what I was doing. And I remember asking her at one point, she explained, oh, it's all these things that you do to, to, you know, basically appear neurotypical. And I was like, those are all the things that have like been draining me, that I feel like I have to be this version of myself, and I don't. And Mm-hmm. um, it's again, it's just how— it's having that verbiage. It's like, okay, so yeah, I can take the mask off and I can embrace it. And again, if I'm not a fit for everyone, I'm not a fit for everyone, and I'm not a fit for anyone.

I don't want to be a fit for everyone because it's boring.

I had someone ask me, um, at a training yesterday, they were like, how do we market without missing people? And I was like, the whole point is you should be missing people.

You want to filter out those that don't belong.

Yeah, like, I was like, I think what you're asking me is how do I market without missing someone who would be a good They were like, yes. I was like, okay, that's, that's different. You want to miss— you want your marketing to be a little bit polarizing. You want people to look at it and be— and it's, it's always funny whenever I do trainings for the front of the room and I tell people what we do. I do a lot of training on marketing because that's what I get a lot of questions on. I get training, I get questions on marketing and on space design. So I do a lot of trainings on marketing and I'll share our message as Grow Disrupt, which is all about like You are an incredible visionary who's changing the world around you, but sometimes you lose sight of what makes you special. And we create space for you to not just reconnect to it, but also to be able to internalize and use the tools that will help you be what you're meant to be. And I can always tell when I get to that point in the training who my people are, because you'll watch the faces either go, or what are you talking about? Yeah. Like they're like, I'm sitting here being like, you need an emotionally evocative marketing message. And you could just watch it. There's very few in between. Everyone is either like, oh my God, I just felt seen. Or is she talking about like, how is that emotional?

Yeah. I get a lot of eye rolls. I get a lot of whatever. And I think the biggest thing for me, I've been interviewing coaches for the last week to hire. 2 new coaches. And I, I had a woman who I interviewed yesterday— no, maybe it was Monday— that sent me a message today, well, I don't understand how you're gonna do that. You just showed up at the meeting so unprofessional. And I'm like looking back like, what did I have on on Monday? So I went looking at my lives to see what I had on on Monday. I think I forgot to take off my, um, R2-D2 ears before For the interview, um, because I had my R2-D2 ears on Monday. And I'm like, that's perfectly fine. She goes, well, you just don't understand how business works. And of course, a little bit of RSD because of things that have been going on just creeped up a little for a couple minutes for me. And then you want to know what? I closed 5 sales today. You want to know how I closed 5 sales today? Off of the live I did.

I was gonna ask if you wore the R2-D2 ears.

No, I just had these ones on, a headband on today, but But be yourself. I think that, that is one of the biggest lessons that it took me a long time to learn in business. I've been doing this 25 years, so I'm old at this. And be yourself. And when you're neurodivergent, being yourself just means something completely different than the rest of the world. And that's okay.

And I think there's a couple sides to that, right? One is getting to know yourself so that you can lean in. And that just requires, you know, consistent, like, taking time to really understand yourself. And then the other, the other thing is remembering that a lot of times, first of all, I'm not saying this is always the case, not necessarily saying this is even the case with the lady you chatted with, but a lot of times when people have a really strong emotional reaction, it's because they, they, they—

Wish.

They wish they could be, or they see something in themselves that they don't like, right? And so you end up with someone who gets mad about, um, you know, and again, not saying, but I'm just using your example, like, oh, she's wearing the ears, and they're mad because they want to wear the ears, but they feel like they shouldn't. And so they're following. And so you— and so it, it doesn't make it easier, I don't think, to deal with that rejection. And especially with people, I mean— It is really funny to me, right? Like, I'm, I'm such a contrarian sometimes, and I've always been a, you know, screw it, I'm doing whatever I want. Um, and then when we did have our discovery in 2021 that our events were built for ADHD people, and I went to my board and I said, hey y'all, I think this is like— I say my board like I have like a board of mentors that I, I rely on. And I went to them, I said, hey, I think this is our differentiator. And I had like 3 of them that were like, oh my God, don't tell any— And I was like, oh, why? And they were like, well, no one's gonna go to an event that's gonna diagnose them as ADHD. And like, I didn't— so I didn't tell anyone. We didn't tell anyone that that was what we're doing till 2022. And it was the weirdest thing for me to realize that I'd fallen prey to what I always thought I would catch. But I think that's the problem, is that sometimes we don't realize we're that we're dealing with something that really shouldn't be impacting us, that they— it's the ones that come in kind of in a sneaky way that start messing with you. Absolutely. That can screw with your energy and your ability to embrace who you are, and then you start falling back into masking. And to your point, it leads to the ugly cycle.

Yeah, and it does. But I think that is why ADHD disrupts, so that we can see our patterns, we can recognize ourselves, we can find ourselves in other people and find our community. And I am so grateful that you are creating a summit for this that is going to be so much fun. And I can't wait to take part in it. She's got cool fidgets and a scent, and I can't wait to get my scents and pens.

And the pens that keep going viral on TikTok.

Did you see that? Yes, I have.

Ah, I am dying laughing. I have been arguing for these pens forever, and the fact that they keep going viral on TikTok, I'm just— I'm dying. I'm laughing. And the funniest thing is people are like, well, where do I get a copy of the pen? Where do I get one of the pens? I'm like, buy a ticket to ADHD Disrupt and buy a VIP box. I've told people, I'm like, I'll even throw 2 pens in your box for you, just for you. Like, but they— yeah, absolutely, I have pens. With the event. Just terrible. Um, but I have been laughing. It's, it's not— I, I love—

I got a similar pen at another event, and I— it's in my bedroom because that's where I journal.

These are the pens that I use for all of our— like, they're in all of my journals. I have them literally every— I've been laughing just noticing how many of these pens are literally everywhere, and we've been using these pens for forever. So I have like all different colors and versions and variations. I guess I only have 2 up here right now, but I literally have like every color they've ever come in at this point because I just have so many of these pens and they're amazing.

They really are.

They write so smooth.

Yes, absolutely. Okay, well, thank you so much for joining because we could talk about the pens and all the other things a million— for a million hours. But we do have to tie up. Stephanie, we could talk for hours. We need to do this again, even outside of ADHD Disrupt, because I love collaborating and being able to talk with other people in our space who get it. And I own a marketing agency too and work with indie business owners. So Steph and I could like also go down those rabbit trails for quite a while if we wanted to. We did good today though.

We did good.

We stayed on topic.

We did. We stayed on. We stayed very much on topic. I'm very impressed with ourselves.

We did good. I hope That you all join us. There's a link below. Please join us. We want to see you there and get all the cool fidgets and scent and coffee and all of the things. I can't wait to get my box. And we're looking forward to seeing you there and just sharing all of the things with Dr. Hollywell and all of the other speakers because, yeah, I can't wait to learn from all the other speakers. And I've been doing this a long time, y'all. I've been a coach for 25 years, so I'm looking forward to learning from all of these amazing people. especially again fangirling over Dr. Hollywell. So we— I am so happy that Stephanie put this together and she was willing to join me live, and maybe we'll have to do this again soon.

That sounds great. Yeah, I would love to. I will tell anyone who's on the fence or even looking at it, one, check it out. If it speaks to you, join us. Pull— trust your gut and pull the trigger on it. If it doesn't speak to you, then don't. Like, that's fine. I've never been—

it's not for everyone, and that's fine.

No. Um, but if it does, if it piques your interest, if it gets like It will be— it will be— even, even if you are only able to do the general access and you just want the content, like, plug in, check out the platform, and enjoy the game. Like, it will be unlike anything you've ever experienced in an event like this. I absolutely guarantee it. It's gonna be fun. So hit the link.

It's good. Absolutely. Have an amazing day, everyone. Thank you for joining me, Stephanie, and we will see you next time that I'm out here being ND Out Loud. Have a good one.