ADHD, Life, School, Parenting, Teaching ....

It's the tism in me. It's like, like people, I could take care of all of you if you would shut up, do what I needed you to do, and no one made a mess.

Good morning, everyone. So you will see a new face on here on LinkedIn and Facebook with us, uh, YouTube channel, but she's not a new face to us. This is the amazing Brit. We all coached together previously. And now we're all in our own worlds doing our own things. But we have to catch up with one another. And the only way that we can make sure that we're going to catch up with one another is if we schedule a live and use it for social media content. So here we are.

Yeah.

So we're habit stacking.

Yeah, exactly. Habit stacking at its best. So Brit, you are now coaching for Shimmer.

Shimmer and my private business, yes.

That's so cool. And you also went back to school.

I did. I'm getting my master's degree, uh, with the University of St. Thomas in Minneapolis, Minnesota. They have a really cool program for working adults, so it's set up where you take one really, really intense Semester of one class that is condensed into 6 weeks at a time.

Okay, you're doing much harder than I am. So I am in school, um, and I am actually doing an adult ed program, and I'm going through certificate pieces to one, get my first— my, okay, my master's, another master's degree, my 5th, um, and then I am working towards my PhD in behavioral psychology. So I'm doing all of these things and Brit is doing it the easier way and I'm dumb. So that's another conversation totally because I never can do things the easy way because that's— I'm also autistic. That's what it is. And Vida has a new coaching job.

I do.

I do. I got hired as a coach for DONE. And I want to hear all about it. Yeah, it, it looks amazing. So people can— people that are already working with Dunn, if they decide that they want to do ADHD coaching, then they get referred out to the coaches that are on the roster and, and we get to meet with them. It's really, it's really awesome.

Oh my God.

So everybody's doing cool things.

We're all doing cool things. And I have a couple job interviews for some like, uh, executive function teaching type stuff, like with kids. So, you know, it's been, it's been some dry times for a lot of people, but it's like school's starting back. And honestly, okay, January and August are like when things just start in this world because—

Yes. Previous to that is just dead. So we've had a really dead time, but we're watching things pick up. We've had, like, in the group program at ADHD Upgrade, in the last week we've had 4 new users sign up and we've got things are moving and popping there. And we, we have 90 leads who wanted to start once their kids went back to school. So we've got— I'm reaching out to all of them and talking to them again. So it's— But June and July have been like, nobody's talking to me. Even my own clients are all going on vacation.

Yeah. And I'm not talking to my own clients.

I was like, which was nice with school stuff because it allowed me to get into the flow of school because I started mid-June and to get into the flow before work got crazy again.

Yeah.

So what is one of the coolest conversations you've had with a client lately, or the craziest? Coolest or craziest, your pick.

Uh, okay, let me, let me get a private visual for myself.

I have to, I have to do the same thing. Okay, craziest conversation I've had with myself is I have a school teacher who just started. She started 2 weeks ago getting her room ready and all of that stuff and realized her department was lacking 4 teachers.

Oh yeah. It's— so I mean, I'm going to dust off my soapbox here for a second. There is a tremendous teacher shortage in the country. Tremendous. And part of it has to do with the way Americans view educators. Part of it has to do with the way, um, parents view sending their kids to public versus private versus homeschool, you know. Um, but people are like, oh my God, we don't have enough teachers, and it's like, oh, I wonder why, you know. So But you know what we have a lot of that we don't need?

Politicians.

Yeah, again, just a soapbox, just a soapbox. But okay, there are, there are some states that have teacher surpluses, but that's really very few. New York State is generally one that has a teacher surplus, but Like in the Midwest and places like that, people are leaving education because— and here's the thing, especially because a lot of neurodivergent people are teachers— people are leaving education because it's not a good work-life balance and they burn out. They burn out hard.

I saw a news article for my state that I live in now, obviously not from here. Alabama needs 12 special education teachers in one school district.

12. Yeah.

How are they encouraging people with those skill sets to come in, if at all?

Well, okay, in Alabama I saw that they're offering a $3,000, uh, payout in the first 60 days if they take the job. So, so they are doing something. But I look at that, and as an ex— I'm not a school teacher, never have been— but as an ex- parent of a kid in school, that means how many kids are 504 plans, IEPs are not being followed for the first few weeks of school because there aren't teachers to support it.

Um, even if there are teachers to support it, nobody's getting services the first 2 weeks of school even though they're supposed to, and it's a federal law. I'm just real talk here. I don't teach in the district anymore, so I can tell everybody the tea. But okay, so there's a teacher shortage All subjects, and math and science are big areas of teacher shortage. Special education is huge. Some states are giving bonuses. The federal government will— does have a loan forgiveness program for teachers that work in those subject areas where they need people, and/or if you work in a low-income school. But Okay, it's like they can get them there, but the level of support while they're there, like the retention rate for teachers is horrible. And then, okay, so epidemic-wise, like colleges are closing their teacher colleges or teacher training programs because they're not getting enough people in. There are, but and now they're, but it's the way we view education because people in this country are like, well, anybody can teach, you're just a glorified babysitter. So we do have some pipelines to education people that, um, in the state of Oklahoma you can get emergency certified if you already have a bachelor's degree. It can be in any subject, and they will work with you to get you in as a teacher. But as someone who spent 15 years in the classroom and administration and everything, I, I don't necessarily mind that, but the level of training, the level of support, and then the level of community support is the reason that teachers are leaving the profession. I can go be a manager at a gas station and make double my yearly teacher salary. That's horrible.

That's disgusting.

And I have a master's degree.

And don't get me wrong, I think if you work a job, you deserve to make a living on what you work. So I'm all about gas station people working at a gas station making—

Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just— I'm trying to put this in perspective for people, right?

If you are in a position that requires more training, more education, and At times, I'm sure a lot more energy. And you can go do something else and make more money. So of course.

Well, and with most teachers being neurodivergent themselves, how much executive function and overwhelm is in a position like that, that they then don't have for their own families and stuff? Gas station, it's the same thing over and over and over again. There's no thought process.

Well, and I read an article. It was a woman that was— she wasn't a teacher, but she worked at like a high-profile corporate job, and she burnt out, and she went and got a job at Target making $15 an hour. But the whole article was about how it was the best decision she ever made, because guess what happens when she clocks out at work?

She's done.

She's done. Like, she's done. And I just— there's so many problems with education, and I, I actually I'm on the, the education committee for CHAD this year. So that's kind of cool. And there just aren't— I mean, we already know that there's not enough support for neurodivergent children in the school system. But let you know, there are definitely not enough support for a neurodivergent teacher. But if we're trying to get teachers trained, if we're trying to get support people trained, community trained, to better serve our neurodivergent community. Well, all the good, like all of the teachers that, not all of them, a great many of the teachers that are really, really good are leaving, because they just cannot maintain their personal, emotional, physical, and mental health. In that profession, it's horrible.

And I know that we all have teachers as clients, or have in the past had teachers as clients, and all of them—I mean, I've got three right now—and they're all in beginning of the school year panic, executive dysfunction spiral, RSD spirals, like all of the things. One of my—one of my clients just keeps sending me TikTok. After reel after reel after reel of parents complaining about sharing supplies in the classroom. Because this is my life every single day.

Why am I doing this? I just don't— okay, I think a lot of things in this world could be fixed with an honest conversation, and I think that educators and parents and— okay, people get really emotional And then they don't listen to each other. It's like, no, we need to sit down and problem solve. This is the state of our education system. How can we fix it? How can we band together to fix it? Do you have the capacity to be supportive and fix it, or do you just want to sit in your armchair and complain because teachers didn't teach your a child a life skill that really kind of falls on you as the parent. So I'm more worried as a, as a teacher in a building, my job is to make sure your kid can read and comprehend, do math, pass these state standards. And I can, I can lay state standards out on a table. There is very few schools have social-emotional learning, and very few schools like There's no life skills in there. There's no manners. There's no this. There's no that because that's a parent's job unless we put it into the school curriculum. But it takes a village. It's not and it's not one person's problem. It's everybody's problem because these kids grow up and then they are adults.

And then they're really everybody's problem. So Brit, coolest story, craziest story right now?

Coolest is definitely— I have a newer client, and I'm working really hard. I want to make sure I don't reveal any personal details. I have a really cool client. For those of you who don't know me super well, I'm an ADHD coach. I specialize in working with the LGBTQ population and the chronic I had a client come to me who is a part of the chronically ill population. On top of that, they happen to be, um, an expert in, uh, the chronic illness that I live with.

Oh wow.

Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. And sometimes we get on rabbit holes where they tell me cool stuff about industry, and I'm— it's my job to bring us back. But, uh, it's really cool, um, to see the awareness of, um, EDS growing and meeting people who are committed to supporting this community. And I feel lucky that I get to be a supporter.

That is really cool.

Yeah, I'm like, can we just schedule a time to talk that's not coaching? It's just like, right, hey you, but like, I want to learn everything you know because you're so smart.

I love when you get clients that are just like, oh my gosh. And I think that's something that most people think that they're not going to get. Think that coaches don't have is that we, we are the experts in everything that we do with our clients. And the answer is no. Hell no. I have my own coach, like, because I need somebody who can— basically, I need somebody to remind me to eat, drink, sleep, and do the things I tell all my clients to do. And one of the best, maybe worst things I could have ever possibly done, the coach I'm working with right now, Was one of my past clients. This woman repeats back my crap to me, my exact words, so often. And I'm trying to decide— I've— and I told her this the other day— I'm still trying to decide if hiring you was the best idea or the absolute worst idea, because it's really annoying. You're really, really obnoxious. And she goes, yeah, I know, isn't it awesome?

Because now I can do it to you.

I'm here for it.

But we as coaches are learning from our clients every single day. Like, I'll have a client share an app with me. I'll have a client share a protocol that I've never heard of, or a book, or a— or, or, or, or, or whatever. I mean, I have PhD— I have a couple PhD clients who I learn from every single time I talk to them.

Yeah, it's— I I don't know how I've done it, but I've, uh, over the years had an assortment of just some of the most brilliant clients, many of whom are experts in their field. And I'm just like, they're so cool. And then I have to remind them every time they're like, I'm like, hey, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, no. You forgot to take your socks out of the wash. Okay.

Yeah.

We just— we all need daily reminders to do the basic things in life because we're so smart in some other area that that takes all of our executive function skills in and therefore remembering to take a shower, brush our teeth, eat, oh, drink water when I need it, you know, take my medication, like take your meds, Danielle. I know this. I've been taking them for something years, and I still forget every day. Many a moon. Many, many, many moons. So what is the biggest thing that you're looking forward to over the next couple months in your business?

Well, um. So, like all neurodivergent people that— okay, like, I know what all the fancy schmancy coaches tell you to do, like, just focus on one thing. But I'm living like 75 lives at a time. Okay. So, uh, I have our coaching stuff, we have our corporate consulting stuff, we have Teaching stuff. And then I have my podcast, and the podcast is growing. And growing. Yeah, it's a comedy sex podcast. And yes, just full awareness, it is graphic, but it's a comedy podcast. It's about sex, okay guys? I mean, come on. But it is hilarious and it is growing, and we've got some really cool collaborations coming up. with some different companies in the sex positivity space. We have some collaborations with other influencers and creators in that space. And like I said, I feel like so many things can be fixed with a conversation. And, uh, I really, really want to show people that sex is not scary, you know. And I'm just— I'm talking about regular everyday sex. I'm not talking about like if you have sexual trauma, like that's like, that's legit. But this is for just like in the other box, right? And then I also got signed as a founding author for a, um, spicy— a spicy, um, publishing company. So, um, that's going to be coming up too.

Yeah.

Um, so I have— so Vida and I are actually sharing, um, at CHAD our habit, habit-building program that we've got, our Dope 66 program. We're actually— we get a table for like 2 or 3 hours or something like that to share with all of the CHAD attendees. So we're going and doing that. And of course We're spending a day at Disneyland when we go because that's our—

we've got to do that.

So we've got that coming up. We've got obviously all of the things that we've got and we reworked some of our pricing around here. So we've got chat-only coaching and we have one-on-one coaching now. So we've got all of the things and cool fun toys for us to play with as coaches, which makes my little tech brain so happy. Um, I'm trying to think of what else. And then just school, honestly, for me, that's just— that's my main, main, main focus other than CHAD and normal day-to-day business stuff.

I am also speaking on the LGBTQ panel at CHAD. And so I'm very excited about that. And I will be working with Dueling Minds, which is a nonprofit for They're going to be at Chad, and I will be in and around their table too. So, which is like, I mean, I know that when our clients come to us and they're like, I'm so overwhelmed, I have all these things, and I'm like, I need you to pare it down to basics and let's just breathe and then build back up. Sometimes I have to take my own advice, which life has been ultra crazy for me all summer long, and I was still trying to do the things, and I finally I think a month ago, I just told Danielle, I was like, I cannot do anything except exist. And so we hit pause on a lot of stuff. But generally, those things are only temporary if you really accept that this is what's going on and I have to take a break and you take the break and then you can jump back into stuff. But if you keep pushing, pushing, pushing, Then you're gonna burn out. Then you're not going to be doing stuff for 6 months because you're burnt out, or you're going to be in the hospital, or you're going to be whatever. So life is a marathon and you have to learn to rest.

Amen. Um, so Britt, what are you up to?

Um, yeah, I just hired a VA in my private business, which I had been putting off for a while. And I finally— I'm working with a business coach, and she's awesome. And she had some suggestions for me, and I kept putting them off, kept putting them off, kept putting them off. And then I realized, oh, these are delegation things.

Oh.

Oh, I'm, I'm gonna put them off, but somebody else will do them. Um, so I started working with a VA. I'm very excited, she's super cool. Um, and then also my private business, uh, well, I guess I'm starting another business because—

Of course, because why not?

Um, so with my dear, uh, friend Larissa Miller, she's an amazing accountant and she specializes in working with Female solopreneurs with ADHD. She's awesome. Um, we are creating a workshop— not a workshop, a retreat in upstate New York for that exact demographic, women with ADHD who are either just starting their private business, or who like want to, and they have no idea what to do, or they're in it, but it's like crumbling down around them because they jumped in with that ADHD all-or-nothing mindset. And now they're like, I am panicking. Um, that'll be in September of 2025. But in this next month, we are going to start Marketing campaign for that. So I'm looking forward to that.

You have to share the link with us so we can share it with our audience. We definitely will. Absolutely will. In upstate New York, I might have to make a trip back home to go to.

It'll be in Caro, South Caro, which for the longest time I thought was called Cairo. Cairo. Cairo. Very kind local informed me that that's in Egypt and this is Cairo. I was like, oh, sorry, but he was super cool about it. Um, so yeah, I'm looking forward to starting that. Our company is called the Pajama Preneurs because, listen, I love a retreat. I love a woo-woo mindset, whatever, as much as the next girly pop, but But, um, this ain't that. Like, Larissa and I show up to our meetings in our pajamas with like our snacks and our coffee spilled all over the place. Totally the vibe of this.

Yeah.

We're not gonna do yoga on a beach. No shade if that's what you like to do, go for it. But we're gonna be like sitting around a campfire eating s'mores and like having real fun.

I love that. And, and as long as you're not doing yoga and things like that, that makes me want to go because those— that is not my thing. Eating s'mores around the campfire, that I can do.

I'm really, really good at yoga because of the EDS. I'm super bendy.

Careful.

Yes. So, so my problem is that, yes, I am very good at yoga. But that means dislocations and ripped tendons and, you know, things like that.

Well, you're supposed to stop the stretch when you hear the crunch or feel the burn.

But if you don't hear a crunch or feel a burn—

Yeah, that's what they told me the last time I dislocated my hip, and I was like, but it just kind of Like popped out, right?

It's not like I was like, no, I can get it, force it.

It was just like, that's a daily occurrence around here. I dislocate something at least once a week.

Yeah, it's at least that the, the information about EDS, the knowledge about EDS in the state of Oklahoma is Lacking.

Yeah. Well, no, the US is just lacking, honestly.

Swedes are on top of it. I'll tell you what.

As somebody who's like been like— I've known I had the EDS and POTS and all of these things, I actually have had to have more extensive testing, and I am looking at not being EDS and having MS instead. But then there was the discussion, but these symptoms don't match this thing, but they match this thing still. Is it possible to have both? And when I have a doctor tell me in the absolute tone, no, it's not possible to have both, I call BS. So now you look for the next doctor to tell you, just to like be willing to look at all of the things at the same time.

As someone who was assessed for MS, it is Absolutely possible. Oh, I know that. I was like, that's insane because I've met many doctors who are like, yeah, you can have both.

The joys of— yeah, the joys of the US and medical care. Don't get me started on that. But anyway, so what are— what is One of the biggest tips that is working great for you right now?

You know, I, I get like everybody else. I always want the shiny new thing, right? That like, oh, this app is gonna work and this thing is going to keep me organized. And especially when I was teaching, I would— I was always looking for something to keep me organized because in my mind, the story I was telling myself was that I just wasn't very organized. And then one day I was talking to other teachers and they were like, we just don't know how you do it. You're so organized. So like, I thought I was failing and I was killing it, but I was just using a notepad and a to-do list. And yeah, it looked crazy sometimes. And then I would get into it and I would build Excel sheets, like, to where I could house all my information, which I'm really fucking good at, by the way. But there were coping mechanisms that I built myself. So I guess I am just going back to basics because I was so overwhelmed and I had to, like, pause on things. I'm just doing— starting with my paper to-do list. I want to use all the fancy apps and Google Tasks and Todoist and all that bullshit, but I don't look at it. So I'm just doing a paper list.

For me right now, and I actually just did a training on this for our art community, is using my second brain system, which is just really cute printouts that I glue inside of a bullet journal to track my days. And I write everything down. Everything goes in there. I use pretty Post-it notes and they go on the page for the day for whatever today is. I rewrite everything in my Google Calendar for the day because if I don't engage with an appointment, I won't remember that the appointment exists. So I do that. But my second system is I use Artful Agenda, which is a really pretty layout on my desktop or on my phone that kind of just syncs with my Google Calendar. But I can keep all of my routine tasks in there.

Yeah.

And I can check them off every day and it repopulates them for the next day if they're daily tasks or weekly tasks or whatever, it repopulates it. Which it is like $10 a month or $5 a month or something like that. So it's that the combination of those 2 things keep me on track, but I handwrite everything in my second brain every day because if I don't, I don't remember diddly squat ever. Like I have zero memory capabilities of anything. And I can look at my Google Calendar every 5 minutes and go, I have an appointment in 5 minutes and I still would miss it.

That's where I'm at.

Yes. I will say for me, the tip that's working right now is aggressive accountability. Um, I, like many ADHDers, we all have like one or two things that like we just really struggled doing. For me, it was getting into a fitness routine, um, which as I age is becoming much more important, uh, because for those of you who don't know, even though we keep talking about EDS, Um, the condition that we live with is progressive and will continue to get worse. And one of the best ways you can prevent further injury or further deterioration is to build a strong core and build your muscles to help protect your joints and ligaments. Um, so that's been something I've been wanting to do, and listen, it's been decades that I've been It's fine.

So what are you— what are you doing? I like— because like we all—

yeah, so I have been walking.

I've just been walking because it was the easiest, and I do love swimming when my joints are getting like hurt.

Yeah, I have joined a, um, a fitness program with a personal trainer in my area. It's a 9-week program, and she is also a certified pain management specialist. Um, I made sure I spoke with her on the phone before I joined the program to let her know like, hey, here's what's going on with me. Like, I'm not going to be doing high-intensity interval training. I'm not going to be jumping and I'm not going to be running. I'm not going to be lifting super heavy. Like, all of these things are going to hurt me more than they're going to help me. She was like, yeah, it's fine by me. You don't, you don't need to do any of those things too. Take care of your body. Um, so I joined a 9-week group. So not only do I have the accountability of the trainer— she's amazing— but also the entire group of people that are in the class. We check in with each other every day on an app. We see each other in person 3 times a week. Um, And like, now I want to show up because there's people who I said I would be there for. And people who inspire me. Like, there's this one woman in my class, her name is Haley. She's a beast. She will do like squats with like a 50-pound dumbbell, and I'm like, I want to be you when I grow up. So having that aggressive accountability is the only thing that has worked for me.

I mean, I have that, but I have that in a weird way because as a coach in our group program, I am everybody else's accountability person. We have unlimited body double. I'm in body doubling with people in our group right now. And so I'm doing it for somebody else all day long. We lost her.

We lost Britt.

So I'm doing accountability for somebody else all day long, and they always ask me the same questions I'm asking them. So that helps. And it makes me feel bad if I don't participate in the things that I'm making them do. So therefore I do them.

Right. I have a whole story I'll have to tell you and Britt when we're not live about My advice that I give other people biting me in the butt, and I have to take it.

I saw your Instagram post.

Yeah. Oh, Lord have mercy!

So I love that.

We definitely need to have a conversation about that later because that was on my list of oh my gosh, I need to ask White about that one. Yeah.

Yeah. So I'm going to have some adventures this year.

Yeah. I was talking about providing accountability in our group. So because I provide accountability in the group, they ask me the same questions I'm asking them. So therefore I feel hypocritical and stupid if I don't participate. And therefore I have built in accountability for everything. And then I have Vida and then I have my bestie Gina and then God bless. And then we have you, Britt. And Britt, always Britt. So I love talking to you guys. I know, we have—

we don't do it enough anymore.

Well, we scheduled a recurring time every Tuesday to do this. Yeah, now we can go live and chat and catch up with each other and share crazy things that we're learning as coaches or in school. Or as parents, or Vida in her podcast is, is learning things and doing things. And we're going to have a conversation after we're done going live, so don't leave, Brit, because you've got to be part of this conversation. Um, and if you want to check out Vida's podcast, what is your podcast name, Vida?

It's Sex Symbol Podcast, and it comes out every week, and it's just me and My— one of my vanilla friends, we're in our 40s and 50s, and we're just talking like the real talk about sex that people have when no one's around. Like, how do you do this? How do you do that? I have so many questions. Like, these are things that you can ask people, you know, ask a friend, stuff like that. And, uh, we are not experts, we are just people. So that's what makes it funny.

So as somebody who has issues with those conversations, as in I don't do well having those conversations with others, and I'm definitely not asking a friend, listening to the podcast is very helpful. Just saying.

Right. And that's the other thing. People can learn from us and use my misadventures as cautionary tales. And, uh, you know, I explore.

Where can we find you? On the YouTube video, we do have a link to Brit's LinkedIn profile. But Brit, tell everybody where to find you online.

Hi, you can find me on Facebook, Instagram, and, uh, why is the word TikTok? Uh, Your ADHD Fairy Dad Mentor.

And she's awesome. She has a lot of amazing content. Check her out. Lots of tips, lots of tricks. Go check her out. And obviously you can find us on ND Out Loud all of the places. Because we are literally all over the places. You guys all have an amazing rest of your week and Britt, don't go away.

Okay, I'm staying.