ADHD & Sleep

There we go. So we tried to go live previously and we had a crash. So we are trying again. So we are talking ADHD and sleep. So why do we struggle so much with sleep?

So we struggle so much with sleep. I think the most important kind of thing that interferes with our sleep, it's things that stem from our executive functioning. So things like, you know, actually getting yourself prepared to go to sleep, transitioning from Work to, you know, if you're transitioning from work to, you know, after the day to going to bed, sometimes we can get stuck there. Another thing that we do, well, if we're taking medication or if we drink caffeine or if we're eating sugary things, anything that's really going to like stimulate us, even if it's, you know, a stimulant and it's trying to calm us down, any of those things when we're trying to go to sleep, that can really interfere with our sleep. If we're hyperactive, either like mentally or physically, that can also interfere with our sleep. You know, a lot of people complain that when they are trying to go to sleep, they, they're bored. And yeah, going to sleep is kind of boring if you're not like exhausted by the end of the— at the end of the day, you, you know, your brain's kind of spinning. You're like, I just, you know, you have that itch in your body where you're like, I just need to move. Um, you know, that can really interfere with your sleep too. But I think something, and this is unique to all humans, but people with ADHD especially do it. Humans are the only organism that deprive themselves of their sleep for specific, for a social reason. Other organisms will not do that. They will, some will deprive themselves of sleep, um, for like a safety reason. But no other organism will deprive themselves of sleep for a social reason. So like going out on a Friday night, you know, staying on your phone and like doom scrolling or just watching TV. All of these things are, you know, social reasons why we would avoid going to sleep or like, you know, procrastinate going to sleep. So bedtime procrastination is a huge thing that we Struggle with. So yeah, those are definitely some reasons why we struggle with sleep. There's a lot of them.

I, I know that, like, I have a few clients, and this is something I, um, have talked about— excuse me— many times with my clients, is revenge sleep procrastination. They were stressed out, they were overwhelmed during the day, they They have sensory overwhelm. They're exhausted, but they didn't get to do the thing that they wanted to do. So they're going to stay up and they purposely do it to themselves, which always blows my mind.

You know, I think I'm actually struggling with that right now a lot. And, you know, I do know a lot about sleep. I will not sit here and say that my sleep is perfect. I work on it all the time. I would say it's better than most, but like I said, I work on it. But I think the revenge bedtime procrastination, I think because my thing that I really, if I don't get it during the day, it's like I really miss it is— Watching like my comfort TV shows. So watching like, you know, things that I've watched over and over and over again, whether it's like trashy or like, you know, trashy as like Kardashians, or like, you know, as nice and wholesome as Modern Family or Big Bang Theory, you know, just— And if I don't get— if I don't feel like I have sufficient time to like sit and just kind of, I guess, decompress doing that Then, but I think the reason why, or at least one reason why I think some people struggle with this or struggle with it more than others, is if we're not necessarily fulfilled during the day. Um, you know, if you're not doing— if you're kind of more stressed out, if you're, um, maybe trying to push yourself outside of your comfort zone, um, if you're Maybe still in the job market and trying to, you know, maybe we're working a job that's not really 100% fulfilling. You know, all of these things, I think if you're not filling your cup up in other ways that are, you know, really nourishing for yourself, we can use these kind of band-aid masking— not masking behaviors, but like band-aid behaviors instead of You know, really stitching the problem together, like doom scrolling, like, um, using these bedtime procrastination behaviors. Um, yeah, so it's not really fixing the problem, it's just kind of slapping a Band-Aid on it when you really need to.

Well, and I think that comes back to our— and I think it was you and I that— I don't remember, I think it was you and I that talked about it— that there are healthy ways to find dopamine and there are unhealthy ways to find dopamine.

Absolutely.

And that Oppositional defiance or PDA, whatever you want to call it. I'm old school, so I still call it ODD. That we have uniquely built into being ADHD is really—it really helps us to see and understand why we do what we do because we are dopamine seeking. Everything is dopamine seeking, endorphin seeking, or serotonin. Whatever of the hormones. hormone is that you need. And unfortunately, we go to the things that, that's the easiest— doom scrolling, staying up and playing video games really late, whatever it is, not eating right, so therefore our meds don't work right, which then contributes to restless sleep, whatever it is. So I think learning our energy and our patterns is a huge part of that.

Yeah. And also, you know, Embracing your energy and your patterns. You know, I— it's funny, you know, I— and I say this with a lot of, with a lot of compassion because it's really hard to, you know, it— I think it's a great privilege to be able to make your schedule, organize your schedule in a way that really suits you. So if, say, I'm a morning person, I really like getting up in the morning, doing my thing, and just, you know, if I had to work late at night, that's really hard for me because I'm just not there. But then take my partner who's a night owl, um, he could work like late, late, late into the night, but he works an early morning job. Um, and so I think that really tends to interfere, um, with, I think, not only our creativity But just our functioning in general. So yeah, I think any way you can like structure your life around your natural strengths and your natural cycles, I think that is, you know, it's really good to listen intuitively to your body. And with your sleep, you know, um, that also includes, you know, getting the proper amount of sleep. So Most, most adult humans, um, you know, need 7 to 8 hours of sleep. Most. Some need more. Some, very few, can survive with less. And that doesn't mean people can survive on 3 hours of sleep. Um, it's no. Um, so if you're one of those person— people that are like, I function on 6 hours of sleep and I'm great, Um, the thing is, you don't actually know how much it's impacting you. Um, try getting— try getting those 7 to 8 hours of sleep. Um, and, you know, especially if you're around someone a lot of the time, try getting 7 to 8 hours of sleep and then asking them, hey, do you notice anything different about me? Um, it's a lot easier for other people to notice our behavioral changes than Ourselves.

And, and the other thing that— and, and I can't remember what it stands for, but Coach Britt around here calls it HALT. Like, have you eaten? Are you angry? Are you tired? Have you drank any water? Have you gotten up and moved your body? All of those things also are good questions to ask when it comes to sleep. Have you eaten? Have you hydrated enough? Have you moved your body? Are you too warm? Are you too cold? Like, all of those things Again, is understanding your patterns.

Yeah, yeah. And you know, it's funny, sometimes, um, I'll forget to, you know, I'll forget to drink water, I'll forget to eat lunch, I'll push it, push it off, push it off, push it off, and then I'll be like, I'm really tired, I want to take a nap. But I don't actually need that nap. What I really needed was A peanut butter jelly sandwich. I needed, I needed my lunch. Um, and I think, you know, be very— I'm also not gonna sit here and be like, sleep all the time. We need a, you know, adequate amount of sleep. Napping occasionally is good, um, if you're an adult. If you're a child or a teenager or in school, that's a different, um, that's a different conversation. But if you're like your average adult Chances are you probably have to work during the day, so you're probably not going to be able to get that nap anyways. But, um, you know, by listening to your body but making sure you answer all of those health questions, yeah, that's also going to improve your sleep. I mean, have you ever laid down in bed and been like, crud, I'm really thirsty?

Oh, all the time. Absolutely. I'm like, oh, I have a bed Side water bottle, and part of my bedtime routine is I fill it with ice and water before I go to bed every night because I will yeah wake up or not be able to fall asleep and need a cold drink. Absolutely, it's gonna happen nine nights out of ten. So I have it next to me to get out of bed. I also have a notebook next to my bed so that I can write down whatever is buzzing in my head. So that I can go to sleep because I'll be thinking, oh, I don't want to forget that. And if I don't write it down, I will stay awake thinking, I don't want to forget that, I don't want to forget that, I don't want to forget that. And like, I will get into rejection sensitivity because of it.

Yeah. And you know, I think that's a really important thing to bring up because no, it's really good to write things down, but then I could kind of hear people saying, well, why not just write it down on your phone? Don't, don't do that. Do not pick up your phone.

I encourage people to pick up their Kindle if they need to read something or do because they can't sleep. I encourage you to grab your Kindle and there is a setting that it's a black background with low light and all of that, no blue, no blue light, all of that, which is okay to use. Yeah. The other thing is if you're really struggling to sleep, I suggest you get a coloring book out and color with your wrong hand, your non-dominant hand.

Oh, okay.

It tires your brain out.

Oh, okay. Well, I'll add on top of that. So something that I know I definitely used to do as a teenager and as a college student was a lot of people like to use their beds for things besides sleeping. Um, your bed should really be used for, um, 2 things. Like, one, sleeping. 2, sex, if you choose to have sex. But it should be used for like those 2 things only.

Mm-hmm.

Um, and the reason why is because you want to train your brain to associate getting in your bed with sleeping, especially if you struggle with sleeping. Um, one of the first things I would ask you— I'm not a sleep clinician, I'm not a diagnostician, but one of the first things I would ask you is, do you, do you, do you use your bed for things besides sleep? You know, do you lay in bed and scroll on your phone before sleep? What do you do before bed? You know, are you in your bed before you go to sleep, and are you trying to be awake during that time? What I would do if you're trying to fall asleep, get up out of bed, move to someplace that you associate with being awake. So with me, that's you know, my couch, or I'll— I like to sit on my floor sometimes and read. Um, but like, I will get up out of my bed, grab that coloring book, color with your non-dominant hand, but remove yourself from your bed so that when you're tired, when you start to get sleepy again, then move yourself to your bed.

Back to your bed. Yeah. And don't turn lights on in your house if you're removing yourself from your bed.

Yeah.

Don't turn the lights on. Keep it very low. Keep it— yeah, get a reading light if you need to color or something. The idea is you do not— you don't want to have wide spectrum lights. You don't want blue light. You don't want to turn your TV on. All of those things.

Yeah, yeah. So really, really, really resist that urge to turn on the TV. That's one of my biggest urges to resist. Um, but yeah, yeah. And then I think another resource for sleep, I think it's really important to be educated on sleep. And one of my favorite resources as a scientist, but also as a sleep lover and like a general public member, I think this book, Why We Sleep by Dr. Matthew Walker. He also has a lot of YouTube videos from talks that he's done. He is a fantastic, fantastic, fantastic researcher. He does a lot of different topics on sleep and a bunch of different things, including ADHD, but he also writes in a way that is easy to understand. He puts a lot of information in here, but he really does a good job of, you know, not making it a lot of scientific jargon, making it very scientifically accurate, But, you know, making it not a pain in the butt to read. And he's British, so if you like a British accent, that's also fun to listen to him talk.

It is a good book. It is a good book. His— in any of his content is really, really so informational and so helpful. If you have more questions about sleep, if you don't understand yourself and are having a hard time finding your patterns or recognizing your patterns, Patterns. If you are a parent of a child who's not sleeping and you're really struggling with that, reach out to us. We have so many tips and tricks, and I think each of us coaches have a very different way of looking at it and have a different batch of tips and tricks. So if Katie's doesn't work, you can try mine, and if mine doesn't work, you can try Brit's, and if Brit's doesn't work, we've got Vita. We have so many tips and tricks because we are all neurodivergent brains here on the team, so we understand That we're unique and we need different ways to do things. So if you have questions, please reach out. Please reach out. Ask a question under this video. Email us at info@ndoutloud. We are happy to answer your questions at any time and happy to work with you and help you get better sleep and your kids get better sleep because it's so important for all of the things.

Yes, it is.

Have an amazing night.

Good night, guys. Bye.