In this conversational coaching session, Danielle Ralston and Fida discuss practical, low‑friction systems that help adults with ADHD reduce daily overwhelm, shame, and "ADHD tax." They begin by sharing personal tipping points—diagnosis and early self‑realization—that shifted their self‑perception. The dialogue moves through several client transformation stories, highlighting simple yet powerful interventions such as organizing fridge items in clear bins, outsourcing meal prep, and using a "dimmer switch" metaphor for morning and evening routines. Both coaches then detail their own productivity frameworks: color‑coded task prioritization (green/yellow/red or green/purple/pink), time‑blocking on digital calendars, and complementary paper planners. They also discuss managing external obligations like taxes, emphasizing early filing and the anxiety it can provoke. Throughout, the speakers stress the importance of accountability, neurodivergent support networks, and tailoring systems to individual preferences, offering a toolbox of concrete strategies for ADHD adults to implement immediately.
Chapters
Good morning, everyone. Look who I have with me today. She's gonna start doing some more lives, and actually, hopefully after the summit, she'll start doing a couple days a week so that I don't have to do them every single day, which is awesome. I love having somebody who can help and do all of these things. So today is the Bing Points. So stories, because it is possible to thrive with ADHD. You can upgrade your ADHD, which is what obviously we're all about here. Last week, I shared some of my tipping points and the things that helped me start finding success and less frustration with my own chaos. So what was, like, your tipping point to be less frustrated with yourself all the time?
I think maybe just the diagnosis. Like, I mean, And you don't have to be officially diagnosed. You can be self-diagnosed. But just the fact that, so I'm not just like incompetent or forgetful or lazy or whatever. Like I do have something going on in my brain and I actually was more successful than my neurotypical counterparts at my job specifically because I was trying not to drown in Like my ADHD symptoms.
Same. I was always high achieving. I mean, at 25 I had 2 college degrees, had been working like full-time in the corporate world since I was 16, and started my own business like at 25 because I was determined that I was not gonna live the life my mother lived. And so of course I did all of the things. But doesn't mean I didn't live in chaos and couldn't, didn't struggle all the time. So again, I shared my tipping point last week and you can find the video on that. What's one of your favorite client stories, like client transformation stories of them getting it and just feeling so much less frustrated with themselves?
I have this really sweet older woman that is a client and every week when we sit down and talk, the tips and the tricks that I'm giving her are just so simple. But she has been on her own with this, feeling so much shame her whole life that when we talk about, like, for instance, she's stressed so much about meal prep and getting things and groceries and this. So it was in her budget to do a meal service. So we outsourced that. And just that one small thing, it was a total game changer for her. So now every time we meet, I kind of feel like it's just, I get like a dopamine rush too every time I help her. So right now we're working on like nighttime routines and morning routines. So at night it's like we have a dimmer switch and we need to slowly turn your dimmer switch down. So less and less energy so that it soothes you to sleep. And I was like, in the morning, if you're slow to wake up, we just need to gradually turn your dimmer switch up. And she was like, I just never would have thought of it that way. This is life changer. And so it is really, really helping her, but it also is so validating as a coach because it's like, yes, I helped someone. Because these are things that I have done for myself and trial and error found, and then I use for myself, for my kids. But when I give them to clients and it really hits them with relief, Oh, those are my favorite.
I think one of my favorite stories, and this was, I have an ADHD coach who is my client, and she's actually a massive ADHD influencer. And I said to her one day, she was really struggling with throwing food out in her fridge. She would have her Friday her, when she, because she would grocery shop on Friday, would be a very different her than a Wednesday her. Because Wednesday her did not have the energy or remember that she bought the groceries. And I'm like, oh, this is a really easy tip. Put all of your meals in clear bins when you grocery shop. Bring them home and organize them in meals in clear bins and put all of your produce in the door and put all your condiments in the drawers in your fridge. She was so excited, like a month later, that she had used all of the groceries she had bought for a whole entire month that she did a TikTok video and tagged me in it. She's like, why didn't I know this? I'm an ADHD coach. Why wasn't this something that occurred to me? And when somebody else does that and they're like, this is like the coolest thing ever. And I'm like, yeah, it, it was a 2-second tip. Right. And I think of those things and go, yeah, whatever. The funny thing is, is she tags me in the video and my husband's sitting next to me, watch that. And he's like, why don't we do that? Shut up.
But that highlights that we can solve other people's problems. Sometimes we just can't solve our own.
Yeah. So now we do that in our fridge and things aren't getting thrown out again because I, even though I could give that tip to somebody else, I forget it.
Yeah. I mean, it's hard. It's hard because we need other people to keep us accountable. And I have this theory, just a theory. So just like you, I'm ADHD. I feel like autistic people collect other neurodivergent people and that so do ADHDers. Like we, like recognizes like, but I guarantee you that every autistic person has one severely ADHD friend. And that is my husband. He is my severely ADHD person. So at our house, I am the ringleader. So if I can't make the system work, nobody else in this house is gonna be like, hey mom, I thought we were doing this. Or, hey babe, thought we were doing this.
Like.
No, no, it is on me. And I think that for a lot of women that that is another level of stress on top of already trying to manage like just work life, parenting life. And then like, how did I end up like the business manager for our family? You know, I wish I could outsource that. I need an assistant. But so like I said, these systems that you and I have developed and stuff, these are things that we just developed to survive. They're very easy fixes. Yeah, of course.
Absolutely. A funny thing is, like with Kelly, when Kelly did the video, the TikTok video, I was like, my husband's like, yeah, why don't we do that? I'm like, we used to do that when, when our son was little, we would do that. And he's like, oh yeah, I remember. Why don't we do that anymore? I said, no, why don't we? You're the adult here too. My husband is ASD, for those that don't know. So there's the ASDer, the AuDHDer, and my son ADHD. So we had systems and things that we did when he was younger and we have forgotten them, but I remember them by coaching. So it does remind me, and it's so cool to see when clients just, something clicks for clients and they can feel less frustrated with themselves or less shame or less ADHD tax because food in a fridge is a major ADHD tax for a lot of ADHDers.
Food, laundry, late bills, taxes, and that we haven't even touched on that. And I know it's so early. The tax season is only 2 months, like the deadline is only 2 months away. And I am hypervigilant about this because my mom always misses it. My mom always misses the tax deadline and has to file an extension.
So yeah, I'm like paranoid about taxes, and I have a 1099 that should have been here last month and still isn't here the 15th of this month. So I'm gonna just do it myself because I'm sick of waiting for somebody else to do what their job was supposed to be. And taxes, that's one of those things that I am So overly paranoid about that I get it done like really, really fast. And the fact that it's February 15th and I still haven't done my taxes is causing me a ton of anxiety.
I always try to get mine early no matter what. I try to get everything turned in by the end of February so that it is in the tax guy's hands. And then if he takes time, like it's still like there's time.
Exactly.
But this year, because I'm an entrepreneur, my taxes are a little bit different than when I worked a traditional job. So, and that's another thing that like my Um, her taxes, it wasn't like just taking your W-2 down to the tax prep guy. Like, her and my dad have multiple businesses and things like that. So she always felt— one, she had anxiety, so she dicked around because she would procrastinate and she wouldn't do it. And then she felt like she needed to go through and figure everything up because they got more money back when she figured it out.
Exactly. So what was your tipping point? What was a tool or a tip or something that was just life-changing for you? I want to hear what your tools and systems that you've created for yourself are below, because every one of us has our own things that we do. So I wanna hear about your systems below. Start sharing tips and tricks with everyone because maybe there's something I need today.
So my favorite tipping point, the thing that I created for myself, is when I was teaching, I got super hyper-focused on scheduling and time blocking because if I did not schedule time for it, the task was in the ether. It was not going to happen if there was not time scheduled for it. And people are like, oh, that sounds weird. And I'm like, roll with me here. So every morning I was making a to-do list anyway. I started going through and I would label them green, yellow, and red. Green tasks take minutes. Yellow tasks take hours and red tasks take days. So red tasks are really projects that are multi-level things. That's why they take days. And we can break those up later. But instead of getting bogged down in procrastination about the whole to-do list, I'd break it up in colors and then I would schedule an hour on my calendar and just work on green tasks. How many green tasks can I knock out in an hour? And in an hour I was done. Like I was done with it. I didn't have to be— think about it or whatever. And then I would schedule an hour on my calendar. Mm-hmm. For yellow tasks, and I would do the same thing. I'm telling you, my to-do list would just, it would vanish. And if you are consistently doing that every day or weekly, a lot of the things that we put off can very easily be accomplished. But right, the other thing is you have to put it on your calendar. Like several months ago, I needed to go get the tag for my car. And I kept saying like, oh, I'll go do it in between meetings. Like I wasn't using my system. I was like, oh, I'll go, I'll go between meetings. Didn't get done. And I'm like, okay, I am going to put time on my calendar. So I scheduled an hour because you have to go to the tag agency and who knows how long they take. So I scheduled an hour, I overscheduled time, and then I went and I took care of it in 15 minutes. And then guess what? I had 45 minutes of free time on my calendar I could use for whatever I wanted. But it didn't get done until I put it on the calendar.
For me, everything is, we use Trello for organizing project tasks and stuff as a team here and my personal stuff. I hand stuff to my personal assistant, and then I use daily planning, which you guys have seen my videos of me using my, my bullet journal or my regular planner, depending on what works for me today. And I color code. I don't use red, yellow, and green because yuck. I use green, purple, and pink. But okay.
So it seems to be more fun for you, but it's still, you just need 3 colors.
I prioritize things and I make sure first I write down all of my appointments so I can see them written out because my Google Calendar does not help me process time very well. And so I have to write down my 10 things and those are color coded a certain way for each business. And then I added my tasks and I can get my tasks done every single day this way.
I use both. I use my Google Calendar and I color code it in there.
Yes.
But I also have to have a paper copy. And a lot of people are like, oh my God, that's so much to keep up with.
And it is.
You gotta do what works best for you. But for me, because we live in this virtual world.
Right.
I have to have the Google Calendar because I need like links to meetings. I need the reminders. I need all that stuff.
Yeah.
But actual budgeting the time is done on my paper calendar.
Yep, exactly. I can't process time unless I handwrite it out. Well, Fida and I have to go. We both have coaching sessions. You have an amazing day today. If you have any questions about this, anything like that, you're going to start seeing events drop in here this afternoon because that's on my task list. To get everybody's speaking events in here in the Facebook group. Have an amazing day, everyone.
