Adjusting to Fall

Or maybe not.

Maybe. Maybe.

Hello?

Mine says it's waiting.

There we go. We are live on YouTube and now it's counting down. I don't know why it goes live before it counts down. I haven't figured that out. Good morning, everyone. This is Danielle and Coach Britt. We are talking all things adjusting to fall because transitions suck when you're ADHD.

Yes, they do.

They very much suck. So I love— well, there are certain kinds of transitions that I absolutely love. Other transitions drive me insane. Clothing transitions drive me insane. Having to change the clothes. I hate being cold, so I'm going to definitely change into warmer clothes when it gets cold out, but that transition from a sensory standpoint into wearing different clothing—

Is rough.

Can send me over the edge. So it, it, for like a week, I'm really agitated and all of the things.

That's fascinating. My issue is not with clothing, it's with the literal air on my face.

Mm-hmm. I used to live where it hurt to breathe outside, so I don't do that anymore because it hurt to breathe outside and I hate that. Uh, so that I understand, I very much understand that. But for the other thing that, like, the transition that's always— was when I lived in the north, I should say— really hard for me is that transition in weather because my body being chronic, having chronic illnesses, those transitions were horrible.

Oh, they're friggin rough.

And like you said, it's raining right now. Is it cold and rainy or just kind of rainy?

It's, it's like just starting to drop temperature. The rain, I will say, like when it, when we have like a cold snap, that's horrific. I don't recommend that for anyone, um, but it's, it's the, it's the atmospheric pressure, the barometric pressure that like messes with me. Trying to be PG.

Yes, well, yeah, unfortunately you got to be at least a little nice, though we do have a not safe for kids on YouTube. I gave up with that because neither Vida or I are very careful sometimes, uh. But those transitions are really hard. And then if you have children who have gone back to school or in the process of going back to school and that transition of that, and if they play sports or if you have like different things that happen in the different seasons, that can add to frustration, agitation, just overall overwhelm, but not being able to like necessarily put your finger on why you're overwhelmed.

Yes. And sometimes the novelty of the new season can cloud some of that overwhelm. And then when it wears off, you're like, ah! Like, I know right now I'm very excited about— like, I was just telling you before we went live, like, the crunchy leaves. Like, ah! I don't know about y'all, but that's like such a sensory—

The smell. The smell of the crunchy leaves, the being able to walk in them. I, I love that, even though I've got a put a sweater and warmer clothes on. I still love that so much. My husband surprised me with a last-minute trip to New York, Western New York, so I get to go to Apple Umkin Festival this weekend and Naples Grape Festival. I get grape cookies and grape pie filling. Hmm, will they let me back on the plane with grape pie filling in a carry-on in a mason jar? I wonder. I need to figure that out. I think so. I'm not sure if that's considered a fruit or like a It's a spread at that point because it's canned in a canning jar. Because I know fresh fruit, I can't travel with fresh fruit, but I could travel with filling, right?

Probably. I don't know.

I'm gonna Google.

I have to Google that.

Yeah. That's a rabbit hole that I will go down later today. So, um, what are some of the things that you do to help your— you transition mentally and physically?

Physically, I've, I've just started doing this, um, because it's taken me 33, almost 34 years to figure this out. Um, physically, I have just kind of like lowered my expectations of my body and what it's capable of, um, during a seasonal transition. I will say summer to fall is not so bad. I do have a couple weeks where I'm like Fall to winter and winter to spring kill me. Every year they just kill me. I can't stand those transitions. Um, so I just kind of lower my expectations and go into it constantly reminding myself, like, my body may say no today more than it's gonna say yes, and that will ease as we get more Stable temperatures, more stable weather conditions. And so just keeping aware of that and understanding that, like, I may not get to my entire to-do list, especially the things that are very physical. And that's okay. So just having a lot of grace, fostering awareness. I also like to find the things that I really look forward to in a season. Because it can be really frustrating to feel overwhelmed. But if I can put a fun spin on it, then I get excited. Despite being very basic sometimes, fall is not my favorite season. It's actually summer. So I'm a little sad to see summer go. But there's so much to look forward to in fall. The city I live in— I live in Richmond, Virginia. is so big on holidays. Like, seriously, I think like August 1st some people started putting up their Halloween decorations. So it feels like every day there's more and more like crazy Halloween decor to enjoy. So that's really fun. Looking forward to all those holidays. Getting to see friends and family I don't normally see. I love to decorate. So like October 1st at midnight, if I can, I'll be Throwing up all my Halloween decor, starting to play more scary movies, seasonal stuff. So finding things I really enjoy and using those as anchors. So for example, transition is hard, but if I can put certain things in place that can help ground me. So one year I watched a scary movie every single night at around the same time. And it was fun. It got me invested in the season, but it also— I had something to look forward to and I had something to ground me. It was like, all right, every night at around this time I'm gonna do this thing, and that's kind of like helps reorient. Mm-hmm.

I kind of look at those as my, my goal points. For each season as things are changing. I do the same thing. And, and something that I've really struggled with is we moved 4 years ago. We moved out. So Dr. Jessica just messaged me and she said, yes, in a carry-on I can take things as long as they're not liquid. So I could take pie filling and stuff home. Okay. Now anyway, answer question answered. Um, but for me, especially when moving south, I've had that transition for me in certain seasons has caused actually a lot. I don't want to say depression, but some agitation and stuff for me because I don't, I don't have transitions now to tell me when something is changing. And because my time and spatial awareness sucks, that not having those seasons has actually caused me a lot of frustration and agitation. And like I said, I don't quite want to call it depression, but maybe a little bit even because I don't have those transitions. We go from 90 degrees to 50, rainy, crappy, and then we go back to warm weather. We don't really have— we have maybe 3, 4 days of fall, 2, 3 days of spring. We don't really have seasonal changes here. They may last 2, 3 days, a week at most. So I don't have that, which is not enough time for me to transition my mental—

Ooh.

At all, like at all. So having that, Having that change has, has been a— or lack of it has been a big deal for me. So my husband, like I said, gifted me with a trip to New York because it's— that is such a big deal to me. But knowing that those changes are happening, so having those goal points of I do this in this season and things are going to change, and I start planning those. I'm a planner, those of you that don't know. All of that is planning notebooks and journals and stuff like that. Because I have to process it, like write it down to process it out. So I process temperature changes, season changes, decorate— like I know what I'm going to do for decorations for fall. I was going to do it this weekend, but I'm traveling this weekend, so it's gonna have to wait until next weekend. Um, but like having all of these things for me to look forward to and to plan on mentally way ahead of time.

Yeah.

I have to like have a thought process and map it out ahead of time, even if 90% of the time whatever I map out is not what I actually do, because then my future me looks at past me and goes, what the hell were you thinking, Danielle? You don't actually make crafts, you buy things already done. And it's perfectly fine, but why did you write down that you were creating 50 things and going to get the sewing machine out? And you are not going to do that. But I plan on it and it makes me feel better.

I will say another thing that helps me in fall is like any sort of transition. If I can up my accountability around me, makes my life so much easier. So much easier. I will say it's a little bit easier in fall and winter because there's so much coming together sort of culturally in the States that it's much easier to be held accountable to things. Can be a little bit harder in spring and summer, but any way that I can up my accountability helps keep me a little more grounded.

And I know, and this is recognizing my patterns, like, like the planning ahead, way ahead, is a pattern I know. I need to have. So it took me, it took me probably 20 years to understand that I needed to have a pattern for transitions, like even transitioning between client calls, because there are days— actually not anymore, but I, at one point I was having like 14, 15 client calls a day. And transitioning between those can be really, really hard. So transitioning between clients or all of that. So I had to come up with systems and things to— Adjust to those transitions.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Absolutely.

So during the day, what are some of your favorite ways to transition?

Literally, so this is what I tell all my clients too, is most of my transitions need a physical and an auditory component. Because otherwise I feel kind of stuck in limbo.

Okay.

So like 9 times out of 10 for me, that looks like just kind of like getting up, leaving the room, and coming back if I'm doing something at my computer. And either like something in my ears, like a song break, or more often than not, I'll just say to myself like, okay, I'm done with sending emails. When I come back, I'm gonna start messaging my clients or whatever it is. Just like saying it out loud is so powerful for me. And also, you know, this is a little chronic illness, a little ADHD, but sometimes I need like a full reset. And that's when a nap— whoo! When I feel like I can't do anything anymore, it usually means I need a nap or I need a snack. And so naps and snacks for the win.

For me, walking out of my office, shutting the door behind me, going and making myself a drink. I don't care if it's getting a new cup. With a cup of water, like getting something different than what I was drinking out of previously in the day, getting a new cup of coffee, like literally a new mug.

Yes.

And I would say half the time I'm reheating the coffee I let sit for too long, but I'm putting it in a new mug.

Yes, ma'am.

Um, I, I will change my shirt.

Yes.

Something will be like off and I need to change my shirt. I have started my day completely over. I've taken a 15-minute nap, or at least a 15-minute lay down, close my eyes. I've set my alarm for the same alarm sound I have for the morning. I get up, I go through my whole entire morning routine again, as in getting a shower, redoing my makeup. I mean, on a really tough day when I just can't do it, going through my whole entire morning routine again. allows me to restart, and it could be 4 o'clock in the afternoon, and it will allow me to finish my day by doing that.

Yeah, absolutely.

I mean, that's an extreme thing. Usually walking out, making myself a new cup of coffee, a new— getting a new water bottle. My husband is always complaining because I've got 9,000 water bottles and tumblers and all kinds of things around here. I'm like, but I could use 6 a day. And he's like, I don't understand, because he uses the same cup. For everything, every single day.

Well, it's like I need the novelty.

I need something different. I need a different color. I need a different straw. I need a different texture to hold on to. I, I need to light a new candle. I need to change the color on the lights in my office. I need it to change for me to feel like I can move on.

So something I keep at my desk usually is a pair of earrings. I have one right here. And usually like a lipstick or a lip gloss, because sometimes it's like I just need to change what I look like to like help me move on to the next part of the day.

Well, like I said, change my shirt. Like there's something about— I will change my headbands if I'm feeling like particularly like, oh my gosh, today will not end. I will put a pair of Mickey ears on or Star Wars ears on. I will— I mean, what? It doesn't have to be. I think one of the things that we forget is it does not have to always be— you don't have to push through.

No, no, you can change.

You can do the new thing. Brute forcing never works. One, ever, ever. That adds to my overwhelm. It adds to my burnout. If I'm brute forcing myself, that means I'm going to hit burnout probably 48 hours. Like, I'm not kidding. Like, it's pretty— when I'm to the point where I'm brute forcing. So not brute forcing is a huge deal. And sometimes it means I'm done for the day and I need to cancel my calls. I need to redo. I need to step back. I need to go take a 12-hour nap because that's what my body needs. So what is right now with this adjusting to fall, what is the biggest food thing or drink thing or whatever that you're looking forward to for fall?

Oh, oh, okay. I was like, I don't know everything. Um, So if anyone doesn't know this, I'm a slut for a bakery, and my favorite pastime bar none is going to a small local bakery. Just this last Saturday, my favorite of all the bakeries just started unleashing their fall flavors. So I'm just really excited to see all the fall flavors coming out. They had a bacon chive Scone. So the things are getting heartier. They had, um, this new like butternut squash goat cheese with the balsamic reduction like galette. Oh, fall flavors at bakeries and, and all how creative bakers get with their love.

Fall is when people get super creative. I I, I'm looking forward to— as I've said at the beginning of this, I'm looking forward to soup season. I, I have been watching this girl on TikTok who has 30, 30 days, 30 days of soup recipes, hearty soup recipes, and I've made probably 4 of them. Mind you, it is 97 outside still, so I turned the air conditioning up. And I've been making sourdough bread and soup because it is fall, darn it, and I am going to eat hearty soup. But like I talked about going up north and I'm getting apple pie and apple cookies and grape pie. So I'm from Finger Lakes wine country area. So grape pie filling is— and they make sugar cookies out of like these tart things out of the grape pie filling. And it was so good. And obviously, I can only carry so much home doing carry-on. But I found out from one of our listeners, Dr. Jessica, that I could take it home with me. So I'm very excited. But I love all the baked goods. Pumpkin— I don't like pumpkin drinks. That's— they're OK, whatever.

Neither here nor there.

They're not that bad or whatever. But pumpkin pie and pumpkin bread and pumpkin cookies and pumpkin cream Cheese brownies. If you've not ever had brown pumpkin cream cheese brownies, that, that's a thing. Um, but breads, like hearty breads, and I like a pumpkin beer. Pumpkin beer. Okay, I don't drink beer, so okay. Though I have had— coming from the north, I've had pumpkin hard cider, pumpkin cinnamon hard cider.

That sounds good to me. It was really good.

It was really, really good. It was fantastic. And now I'm gonna have to look for— see if that brewery has that while I'm there anyway. Um, but things like that, just— they're things I really look forward to, but I make them myself. I, I mean, living in the South, there's Starbucks pumpkin spice coffee is about all I got for pumpkin, like, fall things there, because fall is not a thing. I mean, it's just not. They don't have That kind of stuff here. So, so I'll make it myself, darn it.

Heck yeah. Oh heck yeah.

What's your hyperfocus right now?

What isn't my hyperfocus right now is probably a better question. Um, I would say recently it's looking at— I, I'm in like, I'm not planning to buy a house right now. Like, just so we're clear, that is like years off for me. But heck if I haven't been scrolling all the available houses in my area for hours on end.

I have been watching, um, the million-dollar houses down on Gulf Shores and Orange Beach and Pensacola, Perdido Beach, all of that. We're years off of buying a $5 million house for investment purposes. Like, I say years, it's never gonna happen. Um, but I watch all the videos anyway. So watching a ton of that because we are looking at investing in property down there and are doing all of those kind of things. But I still watch the $5 million house videos and go, oh my gosh, I want that. There was one I saw yesterday that I want to have an ADHD retreat at, like, so bad. It is a 6-bedroom, 6 completely separate bedrooms with their own bathrooms for every bedroom. And its own private pool that overlooks the beach. So you are like 200 steps from the ocean in your own pool, which makes me feel like I'm at the ocean without having the sand and water, the ick, sensory ick.

The ocean ick.

I love sitting on the beach. I love sitting in the sand, but I don't like getting wet and then touching the sand because then sensory ick. Um, but Yeah, pool looking at beach, on the beach, like literally on the beach in the pool.

Seeing beach, just not touching beach.

Yes, I love the sand, don't like the wet with the sand. Um, but just knowing that those things— like, I know, like I said, I'm never buying a $5.5 million house. It's not happening. My husband just was like, why are we watching these? And I'm like, because they're pretty.

Stop.

Because I said we are, darn it.

I'm over here like favoriting houses like they aren't gonna sell in the next 2, 3 years.

Years? Yeah.

I'm like, oh, I could buy that one.

Yeah, totally. I totally—

yeah, I just renewed the lease on my apartment.

Yeah, cannot— am not going to do that. I am not buying a $5.5 million house. Like, like it's never— but I love watching those extreme homes. Things all of like I love that stuff even though I'm never going to own one of those homes because mostly I look at them and go oh my gosh I'd have to clean that no thank you like an eighty thousand square foot house I look at them and I'm like oh my gosh that's so pretty it looks like a castle I love all those rooms nope I'm not getting that because I'd have to clean it. But it doesn't stop me from hyper-focusing on watching them.

That being said, if you have the means to buy a $5 million house, you probably are going to hire someone to clean it.

This is true, very true. But that's automatically where I go every time I look at one of these places. They're like, oh my gosh, I wouldn't want to clean that. So what, what is One piece of advice that you have for somebody this week, something that you've come across for yourself.

Ooh, something that I've come across for myself. My brain is like, all the things. I think it's just a reminder. This is something I already do, but there is so much power in a brain dump. If you are feeling overwhelmed, go ahead, dump your brain. Just dump it. Just dump it. Just get it all out on paper. Yeah, that's my recommendation slash reminder. The brain dump exists and it can be really cathartic.

Just because I have it on my brain dump doesn't mean I have to do it today. That's my piece of advice right now because I've been feeling like really overwhelmed by my list lately. But just because it's on my brain dump doesn't mean I have to do it today. It can be planned. And I tell people this all the time, like, anybody in my membership is laughing at me and they're like, you tell us to do XYZ. Yes, but I've been struggling with that lately and haven't been able to do it myself. Just because I can help you doesn't mean I can help myself. But it's just remembering that just because I wrote it down doesn't mean I have to do it right now.

Exactly.

Or at all. No, it's just a thought in my head. It doesn't mean it has to have action— does not need to be taken on it.

Exactly.

I hope you all have an amazing week. Uh, Brit and I will be back next week. We're here. Hopefully Vida will be able to get back to joining us again at some point soon.

I miss Vida.

Um, but I, I hope you all have an amazing week. If you are having trouble Adjusting to fall, you're having trouble just adjusting to transitions, you're overwhelmed, you're feeling burnt out, reach out to Brit or I. We are both more than happy to help you and give you the support that you need because both of us have a passion for it. We don't just live with ADHD. We help those with it as well.

And we like, like, we like doing that.

It's our passion. When I say it's our passion, like life revolves around that for both of us. So we don't talk about real— yeah, that's the real hyperfocus that we should talk about at some point. Have an amazing day.