July 2 Disability Pride Month

Good morning, everyone. Good morning, good morning, good morning. Okay, I've got all of the lives going. I've got TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, and YouTube all at the same time. So I hope you're having an amazing day today. Today is July 2nd. How is it possibly July? I don't understand. Crazy that it is July already. So what did it take for me to have pride in who I was? It is Disability Pride Month. And while that's not a hugely celebrated, like Hidden Disability Pride Month, which is in October, or ADHD Month or Autism Month or any of those other things, what did it take for me to have pride in who I was as someone who has a hidden disability? I actually have both hidden disabilities now and visible disabilities, being in a wheelchair because of my MS. So I've kind of crossed over recently. And being disabled is the— hi, Mary Beth! Being disabled is the only, the only area of life that you can join in a second. A car accident, a brain injury, sickness, all of those things could, could Move you into visible disability. And so many of us are always so embarrassed by our ADHD or our autism, embarrassed by who we are, what we do, how we do things. And we also, also hear those negative words about ourselves. You're lazy, you're stupid. Why can't you just get things done? Get a new planner. It'll solve all your issues. You know, all of these negative things that we hear all of the time. How long did it take for me to have pride in who I was? Years. I'm not gonna lie. And I've been a neurodivergent coach for 20, 25 years. Yeah. Um, and I still, it took me a long time to have pride in, in who I was, in my disability specifically. And Why is that? Because it took me a long time to learn, and I hope that you can learn from my mistakes and have less issues. Hi, Shawna. Hi, Stonewitch. Hi, Cheeto. Hi, Donovan. Um, learn from— yeah, those negative things really do become integral thoughts, uh, and parts of who we are. All of those negative things that we think about ourselves, that people say about us. And it took me a long time to overcome Yeah. That negative messaging. Again, you've heard me say this a million times, a neurodivergent child or a child with a hidden disability, including diabetes, dyslexia, migraines, all of these things, hear 20,000 more negative words by the time they're 10 years old than another child. 20,000 more. So as adults, how many more negative things have we heard than A neurotypical adult? Millions. And, and, and I'm probably not too far off. Millions. We've probably heard millions of things. And well, you're like, well, that's just an excuse. Or like, I hear so many negative things about even saying that. Hello, ADHD, ADHD former teacher. Um, All of us having all of that negative stuff becomes part of our makeup, and it takes a long time and a lot of work to separate what people have said about us and what that becomes in part of us. When I say part of us, comes part of our personality, those— that shame, that frustration, that hate on ourselves, and what We are frustrated with all of the time that it's hard for us to see beyond. So why do I have pride in my disability? I'm ADHD. That means my brain works 900,000 times, depending on the day, faster than yours. I'm parsing, absorbing 900,000 more pieces of information than you ever even notice in your world. Does that overwhelm me? Yes, it does. Yes, it does, but I know now how to filter that and how to use that 99% of the time. There's 1% of the time that I cannot filter those things and I get overwhelmed and that's okay. Good morning, Lauren. But it's so important for us to understand that there are ways to overcome and be less overwhelmed, less frustrated. Less angry with ourselves, hate ourselves less, have less shame, all of those things when we have the right type of messaging. And where do we find the right type of messaging? You're going to hear me say this 900,000 times. What are my 3 keys to success? Community, body doubling, and accountability. So where are— where is success for me in this messaging to myself? Community. Other people who get me, who understand how my brain works, who understand how Mary Beth's brain works and how Lauren's brain works, and understanding how we work, understanding ourselves, understanding how our own brains work. And my brain works vastly different than the 135 members of our community. Everybody works differently, but I needed to learn how I worked, how to optimize how I work, how to optimize my personal effectiveness. Now my personal Personal effectiveness has different levels. I have 3 levels of personal effectiveness. I have a good day, I have a better day, and I have my best days. And on a good day is my real minimums. I might only get 1 thing done on a good day. On a better day, I'm getting 500 things done. On my best day, that's my day that my ADHD, my autism are working in sync with each other and I have routines and I can do all of the things. But I also had to learn to understand, especially with, as I've aged with MS and perimenopause and all of that. That I can't do what I did 5 years ago too. Well, I can't even do what I did a year ago. I need to evaluate every single day, what is my energy level? What is my processing level today? Is my ADHD winning? Is my autism winning? Is my MS winning? Um, what's on my schedule today? What are the must-dos and what can I filter out? Because I can only handle the minimum today. So that might mean that I kind of wash my face and under my arms and that's the end of my shower for the day. On my best day, I could take an everything shower. On my best day, I could do the dishes and vacuum the house and do the laundry and fold the laundry and put it away all in the same day and, and, and, and, and, and as an entrepreneur, I could do 900,000 more things. But on the days that I'm not doing awesome, I just can't do as much and that's okay. And having that level of acceptance was a big thing. And where did I learn that? I didn't learn that from— I've had 32 coaches. I've had life coaches and business coaches and ADHD coaches and autism coaches and health coaches and all of this. I never learned that from a coach. I learned that from my community, to accept myself where I am in this moment today, not who I want to be, who— not who somebody told me I should be, but accepting myself for who I am and where I am today. That was a big part of having pride in who I was and who I am is accepting myself. How are you going to accept yourself today? What messaging are you going to filter out and say, nope, that doesn't belong to me. That's somebody else's opinion. Where is your pride in yourself today? I want you to really think about that. Let me know where your pride is in yourself today, what you love about your ADHD, your autism, your MS, your POTS, your EDS, whatever it is that you're dealing with today. What do you have pride in today? Tell me all about it.