Danielle Ralston shares ADHD strategies from her own experience, including how to tell distraction from self-sabotage, using timers and scheduled breaks for impulses, and why external accountability works better than asking friends or partners to keep you on track.
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So we're talking about managing distractions with ADHD. What are your distractions? I've been asking people all week. Dogs, kids. Those are all like, those are the major ones. Dogs, kids, spouse who works from home. That was another major one. Spouses who work from home can drive a person insane. Drives me nuts. For me right now, it's I'm not feeling well. Pretty much everybody knows I'm going through chemo and I have pneumonia right now and I I'm in a lot of pain and my brain is so foggy from taking all of the medications. I couldn't remember how to spell my name earlier, and I'm really not, I'm not just joking. I had to look up how to spell my name earlier because I could not think of what order the letters went in. There's a few of us here that have those chronic illness things going on that are really a major distraction. And I'm here to tell you that still shouldn't be your excuse for why your business isn't doing well, because there are ways to deal with that. There are really ways to deal with that. We have to choose what's going to benefit us down the road and not just benefit us in the moment. And those are the things that when you're in those only good days, I'm gonna be really honest, today is not even a good day for me. I can't even do all of those things I would normally do on my good day. I did not take a shower today. I just, I didn't have the strength or the energy for that. And that's normally my basic is to get a shower every morning. I just, I couldn't do it. So understanding where your energy level is and what's going to have the most benefit for you outside of today. For me, I paid somebody to do a bunch of things that I needed to have done. I was like, I can't do 'em. It's not gonna get done. People are relying on me to get these things done. I'm gonna make sure somebody else does 'em for me. And yes, that was painful because I am perfectly freaking capable to do the things that I assigned to somebody else. And if as an ADHD person, that drives me nuts. But I also understand that me pushing myself to do those things is gonna do a lot more damage to me. Yeah. And that's something that we always have to keep in mind. You don't have to be going through chemo and have a chronic illness and, or anything for pushing yourself to do things to not be the correct course of action. Forcing yourself to do things is not always the correct course of action. However, allowing your self-sabotage patterns to cut in and keep you from doing things is also not a good thing. There's a difference between distractions, knowing your energy levels, and knowing what you can do, and self-sabotage. So what's the difference between distractions and self-sabotage? So Lauren, sometimes cleaning something as a distraction, and I have used cleaning as self-sabotage. Yep. Oh, I, heck, I've done that. I've definitely done that. But also understanding that sometimes distraction is how we process things too, which adds another level of, I think it was Alyssa that brought this up on Tuesday. Sometimes the distraction is how you process to get through that next level that you're like blocked from. So distracting your brain. Like here's the thing: distracting your brain to process something and doing some other task—not endlessly scrolling on Facebook or TikTok or or whatever it is—is not the same. And and that's something I want to make sure I mention: it's not the same as self-sabotage. It's definitely not the same as a full-on distraction because you're actually using it to optimize how your brain's working right now. And that is an ADHD thing. There are times when I cannot think about something, so I go and I will watch a movie or a TV show I've watched nine thousand times. And you're like, how's that not distraction? My brain needs to process, so I need to watch something that's completely brainless in order for my brain to get back on track and track the creativity loop that I'm stuck in so I can find my way out the other side and do something with it. You have to know the difference when you're ADHD. What is your brain doing? How are you checking in with yourself? Something that I want to encourage you to do if scrolling on social media is the distraction sometimes that you need for your Squirrel brain in order to process, I encourage you to once again use the timers. Knowing and understanding how your brain works is understanding your programming, your patterns. How we do one thing is how we do everything. And if you have a hard time processing and you need a distraction to process, that's just knowing your pattern. And once you know your pattern, then you can use it in a productive way. So what is your pattern? What's your pattern? Alyssa says morning time is terrible. Mornings are my best time ever. I have, so right now, Roy, if you're watching, you're gonna laugh at this. I have Roy doing some work for me and for my agency, and I was like, I need to stay on track with this. Roy is also just as ADHD as I am, and we're kind of ADHD in the same way. So we both challenged each other and we have a challenge going with each other right now. You wanna know what? I'm not distracted. I'm not distracted in any way. Because I know what my pattern is. I know how I get distracted on something, and I created a way to make sure that that doesn't happen. So what are the hard things that you're avoiding? What are the hard things you're avoiding? You have to know what those are in order to prevent distractions and to keep yourself on track. So the first one, there somewhere in here is a breathing video for you. Get out of your own way. Breathing creates more oxygen, which increases your dopamine, which increases all of the motivation chemicals that we need. And that is a necessary thing for us with ADHD. Necessary. Majorly necessary. And if you're not doing that often enough, you're gonna get distracted easier. So freaking breathe and breathe correctly. I could drop that video in here for you guys again after this call. Number 2, get an accountability buddy. One of the suckier things about being ADHD, and I talked about this on an ADHD panel with some other ADHD coaches yesterday, is our penchant for thinking we can do it on our own. And the honest truth is this, this is where there's a difficulty with ADHD. There is, and I'm not just saying that because I sell an accountability mentorship. I'm telling you this because this is the key to being successful. Any ADHD person you talk to, most multi-billionaires are ADHD, multi-millionaires are ADHD. You would ask how they can be so successful and do the thing. They have daily accountability. And your bestie is not the best person. Sorry, your bestie is not good. Your spouse. Significant other is not. Don't add that in. Just, just don't. Take my word for it. Having outside accountability that you invest in, because those free Facebook groups where you can get free body doubling calls all day long, you wanna know, I know so many people that do them and I'm like, oh, how's that helping? Not one person. And I'm not, I know 20 people that do that and not one person does it actually help. Oh, I had this great conversation during body doubling the other day on this body doubling thing I was on. And they go into this long story and I'm like, So what did you get done? Well, nothing. And I laugh every time I hear that. I laugh so hard because that's not what that's for. When you invest in yourself and you invest in the support that's supposed to help you get things done, then you will move to the next level and do the thing. And that is a key for every business owner I know, whether you're ADHD or not. I know a lot of non-ADHD business owners who find the value in that accountability and having it daily. Those are the 2 things. Breathe and get accountability. This is not hard. You just have to get outta your own way to do it. Understanding I have accountability still. It's a little different right now. My accountability is way different right now because it has to be, because I understand what my patterns are. I understand what my energy level is and understand what I need right now so that I can still move ahead. I'm not allowing being sick to totally cripple me. I'm not allowing that to be a distraction. So what is your distraction? What are your coping skills for when you need to distract your brain? Because remember what I've said a few times this week, you need squirrel brain time. How are you giving your squirrel brain time? And what are your excuses versus your, your needs for your body? I want to hear about them below. I'm leaving those questions there. Just answer. I really want to hear about them because I want to walk through how to get out of the way. But there are really only 2 steps. Breathe, and I will drop the breathing video below. And 2, accountability. End of story. It doesn't have to be hard. Have a good day, everybody.
