Navigating Trust and Support

Still need background music for this.

I know, right?

Hello, hello, hello everyone. It didn't even give us a countdown.

I saw it. It was fast.

This is like really fast. So this is NDLA with Daniella and Jessica. So we're talking about navigating trust and support in And here is why we're bringing this up. We have a specific purpose for this. There are so many organizations out there that offer support to the neurodivergent and hidden disability and disability community as a whole, and you need to be very, very careful. Even those major organizations that seem like they have major funding and are specifically for your disability, may not have your best interests at heart. Unfortunately, we've seen this played out a whole lot lately. I'm not going to name any names of any of the organizations. You need to do your own research. If you need to DM us, if you really have questions, either Jessica or I on LinkedIn, please feel free to DM us or message us. We're happy to answer questions one-on-one, but we're not going to blast companies out here. Here. But Most— there are very few organizations, I'm sorry to say, that actually have your best interests at heart. And I, I really hate saying this because I spend so much time trying to find the right support for clients and corporate organizations as well. Like, I have clients in corporate and managers and stuff like that who ask questions and are asking for big ticket, big thing support. They rarely have the disability community's interests actually at heart. They really do. And it's unfortunate. So we want you to be really, really careful about navigating and finding sources that you can trust for that support.

Yeah. Yeah, just definitely listen is a big one. And I mean, it's something probably all of us heard. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Like, don't fall for razzle dazzle or quick, quick turnaround. Nothing, nothing worth is going to be a snap of the fingers.

Like, so I'm going to, I am going to name some phrases that drive me crazy. And there's some big organizations. They're working towards a cure for us. Those of us that are autistic.

Sorry.

I don't need to be cured. Um, ADHD. I mean, there's, there's a couple organizations that talk about diet and ADHD, and you can cure your ADHD with the right diet. Fine Gold Diet, like, that was what, back in the early '90s? The Fine Gold Diet was huge.

Oh God. Oh gosh, what was the other one?

Oh, there's so many.

But Beachbody Diet, like, there's some weird ones out there.

There's— so any of those things that promise a seemingly impossible result It is impossible seeming for a reason. But there are other big organizations, and there is one organization that I'm actually gonna mention because they've already been blasted in the news and everywhere, is SHRM actually just put out an article about a month ago talking about how they're removing equity from their, from their language because they don't believe that's necessary anymore. And that's a huge problem for those of us, especially with hidden disabilities, Neurodivergent disabilities, autoimmune disorders, things like that. That's a big problem for us because equity is a huge piece of accommodations and support and equality in a workplace. So be really, really careful when you hear some of these, and especially if they have your, your disability name in the title, or things like disability, or things like that in the title. Make sure you're diving in and really looking at them. Really, really closely. Unfortunately, another huge red flag that I see, and this is okay, I don't care whether this is a product for disability or a makeup product or a food item or anything like that, if they hire an influencer to do any speaking engagements for them, any marketing or anything like that, I have learned my tism recognition, pattern recognition, I will tell you every single time that that product is now considered trash, that product, that service, that whatever is considered trash if an influencer is one of their main faces.

Yeah, I'll agree with that one. It's like, it's the razzle-dazzle. It's the putting on the show, but then not being able to truly deliver. And yeah, the show is the sparkly shiny ball and we go, ooh, but we've You've got to like, that's where you need to just take back and like really write yourself a pro, you know, if you're looking at different things, write a pros and cons list. Like truly look at it, look up some reviews, look up, you know, look up what kind of research they're doing. Is it research-based or is it just all talky-talky? What are certifications?

Reach out to others in your community who have maybe seen them speak at a conference, um, seen, seen them do a training before, have been to one of their trainings, like Ask your community, because I will tell you this, our own community, especially in the neurodivergent community, is a wealth of amazing resources, and very, very, very, very few of them are actually the big name resources.

Yeah, definitely. And our community will be blunt.

Yeah, blunt is putting it mildly. That's putting it mildly. So yes, if you message Jessica or I and ask our opinion on something, be aware you're going to get it. But it's really the biggest thing I want to see is like so many in our, in the neurodivergent community and, and even the parenting communities will purchase every app that they can find to try to help them overcome whatever it is that they need help with. The app to help their kids get chores done, the app to help you get more organized. You guys have heard me talk about Motion, the Motion app, 9,000 times. And we spend so much money. I actually have a client who I just had— I do her budget with her once a month, and we just went through her budget for July. She spent $375 trying new apps.

I believe it. Well, and then the worst case is like, then these apps like rope you in, and then trying to cancel them, then you get roped in more.

Yeah, we had to do 3 accountability calls 1 hour, 3 hours of accountability calls to cancel all these apps.

I believe it.

So not only did she spend money on apps, she then paid me to help her with her executive function to cancel all the apps. And is that— does everybody have that ability to do it? No. But how much more money are you going to be paying over time to keep these apps that are hard to delete? And unfortunately, there are coaching apps that do that. There are organization apps that do it, productivity apps that do it, Games, all of these things that are out there and targeting the disability community, the parent community, kids. Kids are targeted highly with apps and stuff like that. But how many are we being targeted with, especially in the neurodivergent community, because we are the new trendy cash cow?

Mm-hmm.

When we could have just asked in our community and said, hey, has anybody tried this app yet? I will guarantee you somebody in a community of at least 10 people, somebody has tried the app. Um, especially if there are ADHD coaches in there. We all try the new apps that come out because, because we're— Because we know, so to know if our community— yeah, somebody's gonna ask me, somebody's gonna—

someone's gonna ask.

Yeah. And I actually have a budget. Yeah, I actually have a budget for those because I have to create a budget for myself. Otherwise I would get every single shiny new thing that I see and I would forget to cancel them as well. But this way I have a specific card that they go on and it's a disposable card so they can't keep Charging me if I decide to let it run out. So that's also a tip as a neurodivergent to use those disposable cards to pay things on, because then you're keeping track of your spending a lot easier. Um, but so many of us are targeted with these things, and, and it's, and it's not just the Apple iPhone apps or Android apps or things like that. They're like, unfortunately, these organizations that are out there to supposedly support us and give us the services and help we need, or, or Or our companies, our companies are being targeted thinking they're hiring the right support system to bring in to help us with accommodations and things like that. And they're hiring somebody who is ableist at best. And I think I lost Jessica. Maybe, maybe we lost Jessica.

I'm still here.

Do-do-do. Okay, well, maybe Jessica will come back. So be really, really careful. And even as a company, and I don't care what level you're at, whether you're a small business, medium business, or multi-billion dollar company, be really careful. And if you're looking to hire a company to come in and support with your DEI initiatives, your accommodations, your, your even productivity and things like that, make sure you're hiring somebody Who is— hopefully she'll come back here. Nope, I think I lost her. Hopefully you'll be able to hire somebody who is more well— maybe, maybe she's coming back. More well supported by the community that you actually need that support for. So all of those things are so, so, so important. And it's something that we often forget about, especially as managers or as As, I mean, just people in the community ourselves, things like that. We need to make sure— oh, she's back, I hope. We need to make sure that as business owners, I mean, I'm a very, very small business owner. I have a team of less than 10. But if you have, if you're a multi-billion dollar company and you're— you need, you even need to be careful as managers and things like that to see who's pitching to you and what their credibility in with the community you want them to work for or what you're hiring them for to make sure their credibility with that community is not good. Because unfortunately, just seeing what could— because we do consulting in corporate world, we see corporate consulting in the corporate consulting area where a corporation will hire a company, bring them in, and all of the policies, everything that they help to set up are creating more issues in the workplace versus coming in and actually helping because they aren't— again, they're very ableist or Or, I mean, there's a million things that could be, but aren't there to actually support the community that you hired them to help make more productive or whatever it is you're hiring them for.

Yeah, unfortunately, I see a lot that there's a lot of individuals that aren't out for the best interests of the disabled community. They're just out for the cash cow. And, and it's a shame. And it happens to more than just the disability community. But it is a big thing right now. I mean, since COVID and more awareness to mental health and, and, you know, oh, we can do this and that virtually. And oh, these apps are going to help.

And oh, we're checking the box that we filled our DEI needs. No, you didn't. You just gave me this thing that I now have to use as your employee that made my job 10 times harder. Okay, I'm gonna go work for somebody else. And, and we have— we as a disability community, as those of us that are in the disability Since COVID have gotten smarter. We're already really, really smart. But that gave us the platform to say, no, this isn't right. I want to work for somebody better. I deserve better. I don't have to continue to suffer.

Yep. And that's the big one is like, find your community. Don't just rely on an app. Don't rely on a single, you know, even a a singular entity. Like, find community, try different things, uh, because even just if, if something comes with a good credential, it doesn't mean it's going to work for you. Like, there's— there are great things out there, and you got to try things out sometimes because everyone needs a little different.

And I, and I know for corporations, they're trying to offer, um, like part of their benefits package, they're trying to offer more and more mental health services and support systems and apps and things to help their their employees by putting them through their shared care systems or something like that. But the one thing that I would— that I've talked to a lot of my clients about, and I've talked to from a consulting standpoint, is don't just have one ADHD coach available in your system. Give them a multitude of it. Even if a company has like 50 coaches, that's not enough because that's one style of coaching. Not everybody is the same. One therapy, one therapist for your whole entire company is not enough therapists for your whole entire company. them BetterHelp, give them Talkify, give them all of the options that are out there— ADHD coaching, autism coaching, life coaching, health coaching, um, gym memberships. I mean, give them multiple options because just because it works for one person, it's not gonna work for everybody. Everybody has different needs, and if you're not actually giving them support for their needs, then you're wasting your money and your time just having this one thing that may not be— For everyone that needs it. I mean, I've worked in situations where I work for the app that's coming into companies more than once. For anybody saying, oh, you're calling out one person— no, I'm not. I'm not calling out any one person. I've done this multiple times in the app where like only 1% of the population that this company will use the thing that's coming in. When if they would have had 3 or 4 different options under that umbrella, You would have gotten 50 to 60% of your employees base to use it. Because what's the statistic that you have based on your limited resource? 73%? Do I have that right?

Yes, 73% in the workforce identify with an invisible disability.

73% of your workforce. So we as companies and, and those in management need to make better decisions for those to get the support that they need. We as the disability community need to be more verbal. We need to be telling our managers, our companies that, hey, this is the thing that I need. This is the support that I need. And we as a community, as a disability community, whether it's an invisible disability, neurodivergence, mental health, whatever it is, chronic illness, whatever it is, make sure that you're reaching out to your community to ask about those the apps, the companies to hire, the therapists to hire. Like, is Talkify good? Do you like Talkify? What do you like about it? What do you not like about it?

BetterHelp—

what do you like about it? What do you don't like about it? Shimmer, Inflow, Envy Out Loud, whatever. Ask people about their experiences because those experiences build trust.

Yeah, and, and, and ask how it helped them, not just did it help you, because Their needs are not your needs. So asking the better questions of like, how did it help you? What did you learn? You know, how do they go about their program? That's going to give you a little better information of— because you know yourself the best— is that's— is that going to work for you?

And, and I've tried like weight loss apps. I've tried a ridiculous amount of them. And I like— I thought Noom sounded really interesting to me because it scientific-based and all of that. But my pattern recognition is so good that I know what my coach was going to say to me before the next call, and I lost interest in it. And I'm not saying that what they were telling me was bad because it wasn't. It was actually very, very good. And when I stepped back and stopped being a neurodivergent pain in the butt about it, they're really, really good. But because I could pattern recognition, it wasn't good for me. But I can tell Jennifer that, and I can tell Jessica that, and I can tell Vida that, and I can tell whoever else. That, hey, this is why I didn't like them. And they'll be like, oh, but that sounds good. I like, I love that. That would be awesome.

That may work for someone else, but yeah, it wasn't good for me. That it wouldn't, it wouldn't work for me. Cause yeah, if I start getting, yep, I get bored. I'm like, okay, if I know what you're going to tell me.

So, so an ADHD coaching app that is for me, the goal-oriented, I'm very goal-oriented. However, coaching that is only goal-oriented and we're only reviewing the 3 goals that I talked about last time, totally not for me because I know what you're going to talk about. I know what we're going to do. There's no interest and there's nothing that you can tell me that I don't already know, partially because I'm a coach and I'm a know-it-all.

Never, Danielle, never.

Not at all. But think about these things because understanding the mechanics of how something works and why it works for some people and why it doesn't for others, one, it builds trust. Like, I will tell you that there are a couple coaching apps that are fantastic, and I have referred some of my clients to them because they would be a better fit than working with me. This is where the neurodivergent community is really cool. But I'll also tell you about that app I used that was absolutely horrible and took advantage of me and doesn't— doesn't— that makes everything difficult to cancel, do, change anything. I'm going to tell you all about that. And we have a social media software that we use that we really don't need, but I will continue to use them until I go bankrupt or until the day I die. Because every 3 months, if I haven't used them enough times, they reach out to me and say, hey, you only used this 4 times in the last month. How you doing? Do you want to still pay us? We're going to cancel if you don't answer us.

Yeah, that, that is way better.

That's huge. But just something as simple as that is really helpful. And I, I know that's something that I try to do in Neurodivergent— in NDL Loud. I will admit I'm not awesome at it because I can't afford the big fancy software to flag those things. And I might not notice for a few months, but I try at least. But, but if somebody comes to me and say, hey, I haven't been in, in like 3 months, I've given 2 people refunds because they haven't been in there. Well, I'm not best with the mechanics of it. I know my community and I know what they need.

Yeah. And that's what's terrible about these ones that take advantage is that It's, it's gaslighting, it's ableistic. And that's what they're toting that they're against and helping. And it's like, yeah, Danielle knows, there's a couple I've called out and had big words with.

But, but again, if we can navigate the trust factor as a community, talk about that trust factor. Hey, I just worked with, and I, I'm not telling you what the software is right now. I worked with the social media software. As an entrepreneur, they are fantastic. And this is what they did for me. If I just started talking about that more often, how am I going to help this company be even more amazing to my community?

Mm-hmm.

Find the right support that works for you. And don't automatically trust somebody because they're new and shiny and have an influencer. Because if they do, and as again, autism pattern recognition, influencer is involved, And if they want to earn my trust, then they're gonna have to really work at it. If they have influencer marketing as a big part of their marketing, or influencers speaking at their events, things like that. Now there are events that will pay an influencer to come in to speak to generate interest. Like I will know Chad has a Holderness. What's his Holderness?

I'm actually excited about that because I am really excited about that because like I started watching I was watching them before they became big. Like, I was like, oh my gosh.

I've been watching them for years.

Yeah.

And they're hilarious. He is freaking amazing. And I love the book. I mean, I don't look at the book as a true full picture of ADHD, but I love it because it's his personal story and it's hilarious. And it made— so I'm looking forward to him speaking, but he's not representing the brand.

No, no. He's just coming there to be entertainment.

And I'm sure he's going to be really entertaining. And I will be— I don't usually like big crowded rooms, the keynote speaker things. I will be front and center for that one.

Yeah, me too.

Last year I hid in the back of the hallway.

Because I'll need to be next to someone because I don't do well with big people.

Yeah, you and I will be huddled together in our own bubble. We will create our own protective bubble, uh, But understanding that those things are needed though. We know what support is needed. We know what support we need. And if we start talking about that more and talking about the companies, I don't care if they're a multi-billion dollar company or a tiny little, tiny little, tiny little company that you work with that is helping you and is making your life easier, less overwhelming in whatever area. Is it grocery shopping? I talk about the Dumpling app for grocery shopping because the Dumpling shoppers are amazing and I love them and they're way better than Instacart. And it's It's awesome and it's easy. I love that. But I'm gonna tell you, Instacart is a nightmare to me because I have to go through every single item and choose alternatives, and that's too much executive functioning skills for me. But are they the most popular and probably cheaper? Yeah. So understanding what works well and what doesn't is a big part of understanding what we need as a community. But again, if we aren't talking about it, We don't know who to trust. We don't know who to trust. We continue to perpetuate these ableist companies. Yep, it's really sad.

Find your community.

It's always find your community. Come join us at Indie Allowed. We've got all kinds of options. It's on our website. Just come join us. We have free, we have paid, whatever you need, we got you. But there are so many. There are some really, really great ones on LinkedIn and Facebook, and I know Jessica's got a few others, and there's, um, well, the other ones have just totally gone out of my head right now, and I can't even think of his real name. All I could think of was his nickname, Druids Community. Oh well. So yeah, Druids.

Yeah, I can't think of it. Oh man, now that's gonna bother me.

There are many other ADHD communities that are fantastic and amazing out there than just mine. I just ADHD brain fart. Um, ask. Jessica and I are always happy to share because I know Jessica and I talked and she put a list together of the ones that she was thinking of. I've got a list of mine. Like, I'm happy to share somebody else's stuff with you if that's going to be your better fit because there are communities. There's the ADHD men's community, all men, only men.

Yeah.

Fantastic organization. I met some of those guys last year at CHADD. They're awesome. And I've been able to I've worked with them a couple times now on a couple different things. They're amazing. But find who you need. Find your right community before you start hiring. Find that app, do the thing, find your community first so that you can maybe spend less money and buy things that are more supportive and better for you.

Yep.

Have an awesome day. If you have questions, message us. We're tagged under the video. We're here. We're always available to you. Please ask questions because Because we're not just promoting ourselves. We want a better community for everyone. And whatever, whatever that means, let us know. And if we don't have the information, you better believe Jessica and I will go down every rabbit hole until we find the information for you, because we like doing that. And we also will hyperfocus on it. So let us know, because we will help you find what you need. Have an amazing day.

Bye.