When 2 ADHD Coaches Chat

Do do do do do do do. Like I was gonna pull something up to show you, and I don't remember what it was. So if it was important, my brain will tell me.

You'll you'll realize soon as we're done.

Yes. And that's fine. And that's fine.

Hello, hello, hello everyone. Brit and Danielle and D out loud. So we're just chatting today. We don't necessarily have a subject at all. We haven't chatted in a few weeks.

We're just chilling.

We are. We've been doing a lot. Brit is in a play.

Yes, and y'all, not only do I have to learn a Long Island accent, but I have to memorize about a bajillion lines. So I can't complain too much because my, my number one scene partner has like 3 3 times the amount of lines I do.

So, well, that's something at least.

I'll be, I'll be calm. She's crushing it.

That's awesome.

Yeah.

And I was just in Denver at the SIOP conference, spoke with Jessica and Christy, and it was awesome. And Denver was freezing and it was snowing, and I have complaints. And because it was like 80-something when I left here, and then I landed in Denver and it was How?

So I know when I was in Denver, I really struggled with the altitude change on my joints. How was it for you? I—

it was horrible. I was in a lot of extra pain. I was— I took my manual chair, so I was in my manual chair the whole time. So that does help, so that, that my keeping my physical, but my everything hurt the whole time. And sinus Sinus pressure. Oh my gosh. And I knew to take stuff, but ugh. But I mean, I love Denver. I love, love, love Denver.

Denver's a really cool city.

It is. I didn't get to explore as much as I would like to, mostly because freaking cold. But, but we were downtown, downtown in the convention center, and that's just like kind of a cool area to be in. And I love Denver.

Oh yeah.

And the conference was awesome. But somebody put— somebody asked me last week, what are you up to, Danielle? And the list, I just, I had to look at the list again this morning and it's sitting right here next to me because I have to finish up a million things for that list. And I was like, oh my gosh, what am I doing? If all— if you don't know what I'm talking about, I had— I spoke last weekend, I'm speaking in a summit this week, Next week we have an event, or tomorrow we have our first event planning meeting for our Invisible Disability Summit. And then we're getting ready to crowdfund for our app launch. And like, and then Disney trip is next month. And, and a trip to New York in between there to go visit friends and family and do a band reunion. I'm like, what was I thinking? Oh yeah, I'm ADHD. I decided I could do it all.

So say more about the SIOP conference. What—

for people who are unfamiliar, SIOP is the Society for Industrial Organizational Psychologists. So everybody was master's or PhD level, almost everybody was PhD level researchers, but a lot of things around operations and HR and Psychology and marketing and all of that, which is like very, very much. And I got to speak about, on a panel with a couple other PhDs and masters, of navigating dual identities, women with invisible disabilities in professional spaces. And that conversation, it was an open conversation. We asked— it had the audience interact with us a lot.

It was— Fantastic.

Because so many people don't understand what— one, what invisible disabilities really are, because they always focus in on neurodivergence as the only thing. But there's things like dyslexia and migraines and allergies, like allergies to perfume or the various— I mean, there's so many invisible disabilities that just people don't acknowledge. And neurodivergence isn't the only thing out there. Though most everybody on the panel was neurodivergent and chronic illness and, and, and like all of us, as, as most of us with neurodivergence are, have all the comorbidities that exist. Like you look at the ADA list and you go, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Oh, but it was really, really cool. And then Jessica and Christy spoke on The cost of not supporting those with invisible disabilities in the workplace.

Ooh.

That was really cool. So I have a client, like I personally here at NDLA, we have a client who just won a $5 million suit against her company because her manager fired her for taking too many notes. And she asked for time.

You can get fired for that.

Yeah. Oh yeah. No, actually, ADA says no, and she won. But there was another case that Christy found that somebody who, with an invisible disability, going through the interview process, didn't get hired. And they told her why is they didn't think she could handle the workload because of her invisible disability. They actually wrote that. You want to know what that means? This person got a $260,000 payout. In the interview process was never even hired.

Holy shit.

And there are so many others. And then you've got the people with neurodivergence, other invisible disabilities who leave a workplace because of a bad manager. Every person that's not loyal to a company, that costs them about 1.5 to 5 times their salary depending on the level. So you figure if somebody earns $50K, It costs you $100K to get a new employee plus paying the new employee that $50K. So it costs you almost $200,000 to replace an employee rather than supporting them correctly. And then you've got lost work hours and you've got all of the things that happen when you don't support employees correctly. And also does this like It's mostly about learning how to maximize somebody's personal effectiveness. It's not about expensive accommodations or any of that. It's about maximizing personal effectiveness.

And sometimes just like asking why someone is doing something.

Yeah.

Instead of assuming.

Well, and things like maximize everyone's personal effectiveness. Things that maximize people's effectiveness, that help those with invisible disabilities. Have an agenda before a meeting. Stick to the agenda during said meeting.

Oh, God bless.

Use AI to take the transcription of the meeting with all the action points. Share said transcription and action points after said meeting. You want to know how much that would increase the productivity and personal effectiveness of every single person on your team? How hard is that? Especially when all of that's built into pretty much every communication program that exists now, including cell phone calls. I can have AI in a cell phone call to my brother take notes and give me action points after a call.

That's awesome.

And it's just built into all of these systems now. Like, how simple is this? This is not the— none of the things are— I mean, there's always a few things like somebody needs a specific keyboard or a sit-stand desk. Those can cost companies things, but they're far less if you provide them those things than the $200,000 of replacing the employee and training somebody new.

Yeah.

And they're so easy.

It is easy.

Like, seriously, not enough caffeine yet, my dear?

I have caffeine, I'm just chilly. Uh, I don't know why when I'm chilly I yawn.

I do the same thing.

I have a space heater on.

I do not have my space heater on. I did turn the heat on though. We keep going back and forth between heat and air conditioning, heat and air conditioning, heat and air conditioning. It's like every day you change it around here.

The weather is crazy.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

So this time of year, how does the changes in the weather, the weather going up and down, really affect your ADHD specifically? Because I know they affect EDS and all of that, like, majorly. So how does it— how does that roll back and roll downhill to your ADHD?

I actually, I love what I, I like My ADHD likes the season change because it's something new.

Okay.

Um, I also— I'm just, I'm a warm weather girly. Always have been, always will be. So it's nice for me to have the option to go outside a lot more. Um, and that really helps me, like spending time outside really helps me regulate. Um, so now that we're getting to a point in time where it doesn't hurt to be outside and it's like a reasonable option to like go do some work outside, um, or just like take a walk for a break, I love it. I know a lot of my clients really struggle with seasonal transitions, and I tend to struggle more with like fall to winter in terms of ADHD. But my brain is so happy it's getting warmer. What about you?

I love the warm weather. So for all of my chronic illness stuff, the warm weather is so much nicer for me, way nicer. But for my ADHD, I tend to— I love sunlight. Sunlight is like, if I can go outside and sit for 5 minutes 2, 3 times a day, my brain is on fire, like in a good way. And I can process it. Like, I think that maybe seasonal affective, some seasonal affective stuff, because during the rainy season, I'm just, I'm a potato.

I'm a potato.

I just want to sit and read a book and not do anything else and not function. And some days and all of that. But again, I think my physical stuff affects, like—

Absolutely.

It definitely affects that. But right now I'm in hyper creative mode and can't wait to do things and love going outside as much as I can. And, and I don't take walks anymore, but I tool around the neighborhood in my power wheelchair and terrorize the squirrels and stuff. So that's good.

And terrorize the squirrels.

They see me coming and they run for it. And I'm not going to bring them over.

Exactly.

So with clients that really, really struggle with these transitions, what's— what are a couple of the tips that you give them to help them transition into into the next season of weather?

Oh, um, I— one of my favorite tools to talk about with them is one that I learned from you, and that's that good, better, best. Is when we're going into transition, we might have to do more of our good, less of our better, and way less of our best as we are adjusting. Okay, to adjust and not do it at warp speed or perfectly. You can just give yourself time to adjust. So that, and then I like to encourage them to get excited about and make plans for the things they look forward to. In spring, right? Like each season, if you live in a place with seasons, has its own benefits, its own things to do. And if we can get excited about them, and if you live in a place with seasons, reduce some of that dread.

Yeah. For me, I mean, obviously good, better, best, because that's something that I go over. We live in good. Better is Maybe once every couple weeks, and best is a couple times a quarter at best. Yeah, especially for those of us with hormones that change and we have cycles and all that stuff.

Rude.

Those of us in menopause definitely don't hit those best levels very often at all. But that's okay because movement, even if it's only minimal movement, movement on any goals, Intentions, anything like that. It's still movement. So obviously that. But the next thing I talk about a lot is what is your new food obsession for this time of year?

Ooh. What's yours?

For me, this time of year is macaroni salad and deviled eggs.

Oh, I love a deviled egg.

I love deviled eggs. And yes, they're expensive. Eggs are expensive right now. But go to find— go to the farmers markets. Go find a farm that sells eggs on the side of the road. They're way cheaper than the store and they taste better.

Amen.

Even if you have to drive an hour outside the city, which I have to do now because I don't live in farmland, which is so weird for me still. But go find fresh eggs. They're so much better, especially for deviled eggs. Oh my gosh, so much better. Um, but like mac salad, deviled eggs, hot dogs, but not like cheap ballpark franks. I grew up in Western New York where we had Zweigels hots, which are sausage or pork-based hot dogs, and they're like German franks with natural casing on them. They pop open, I'm like, oh, they're so good. So, Brit, if you—

I love one that has a nice like Wegmans.

You're near Wegmans, I think.

Oh yeah, we got Wegmans.

So Zweigels hats at Wegmans.

Zweigel?

Yes, they're so good. So good. Uh, I have to get them when I go to New York, and I'm going to New York in 3 weeks, and I am taking my big cooler and making my husband take the SUV and not cool fun convertible cars so I could take the big cooler to fill it with Zweigel's hot dogs.

You're like, I'm ready.

And New York maple syrup, because that's a necessity too. But the other part is having things to look forward to. And for me, my trip to New York, we're going to Disney World in a month, having those things to look forward. And they don't necessarily have to be big things.

Oh.

They could be the local— the new local farmer's market starts and I can look forward to going to that every Saturday, or I can go hiking in the park now. Set yourself those points, like Brit said, of Things to look forward to.

Amen. And if you're like, I don't know what to look forward to, I don't normally do things, go to your city's website. They will normally tell you like spring festival, whatever this, whatever that.

Go to the art festivals. Go to— we have— because I live near Dothan, Alabama. It's about an hour and a half from me. They have the National Peanut Festival.

Go! That sounds like so much fun.

Just go to those goofy national festivals. And even if you're not physically able to walk around a ton, go bring yourself a camp chair and sit at the edge and just people watch. If that's all you do—

Oh.

I love going to the art festivals and finding a place to sit and just watching people. And I love the fall festivals where everybody's going and buying the stupid scarecrows for their yard and all, trying to figure out why would you put that in your yard. And I just love trying to read people as they walk by me. It's just, it's good.

That's—

It's social interaction with low impact.

I love, I love— we like people watching. We also like dog watching.

I love dog watching.

Because when it starts getting warmer, everyone takes their dog out more.

I love dog watching. We have, um, a Petco that does Saturday, uh, puppy training classes, and they do it out in this little triangle of the lawn out next to the, the store. And we go and get coffee and watch them. We sit in the car and watch the puppies. I mean, That's fantastic.

It is.

And even if you just go to the pet store and watch the fish, things that you don't necessarily need to be highly social or even cost you money.

No, my favorite free activity is scavenger hunt.

Oh, I love doing scavenger hunts.

I love scavenger hunts.

I'm setting up scavenger hunts for Disney World for all of everybody because we're gonna definitely ride some rides as a group. So we need to have something to do as a large group of 12 people standing in line somewhere. And Hidden Mickeys only last about 5 minutes before you find them all.

You can't do that anymore, so I've only ever found a few, but I'm rarely looking. It's always like, oh yeah, somebody has to clue me in.

Like, it has to be the point of standing there has to be to look for the Hidden Mickeys, or I'm not going to because there's too many people to watch. There's too many things going on. The sensory input is on max, and I enjoy— I love that. So I'm always like watching everything else and not paying attention to things like Hidden Mickeys. Yeah, too many other cool things to see, but But what can you do to just get out of your isolation space? Because we, we tend to stick to that isolation a lot because it's just easier.

Yeah.

But it doesn't have to be overwhelming or frustrating or anything to, to go do other things. Go look at fish at the pet store. Go get a cup of coffee and sit on the sidewalk. Outside the coffee shop. It does. You don't have to do things that are high, high planning needs.

No. And you can accommodate yourself if you need, right? Like, take your earphones.

Take your loops with you. Take your earbuds with you. Take your headphones with you. Take fidgets everywhere with you.

Speaking of fidgets, I found a new fidget. What is that? Slimy dill holes. It's slime, so you get the nice like— but the pickles inside are like hard, so you get a different texture. More importantly, it smells like pickles.

Okay, I need a link to that. You have to send me the link to that because holy crow, I would totally I would love that.

I bought it at a local toy store because I'm big into shopping local, but the company is called Kawaii Slime— Kawaii Slime Company.

I'm not opening.

They're based out of Henderson, Nevada.

You can find them on Amazon.

Here. Oh, then when I say it smells like an axolotl cloud slime. I mean, it smells like dill, like fresh dill. I'm obsessed.

I did not find that one, but I found other slimes by them. They got all kinds of them.

We love the slime.

They have bubble tea ones.

Oh, but how did I find this? I went to— so I live in Richmond, Virginia, and we have something called First Fridays. Which is down in like the Arts District, and every first Friday of the month there's like a big festival. Um, and a bunch of vendors come out, so there's food, there's tons of art, there's usually music and performances. Like, there were like fire dancers, and a lot of the stores in that area stay open late. So this was from Little Wish Toys. We stayed open late. Um, and had many neurodivergent adults walk in and be like, this is the best store ever!

That is so cool. Okay, that, that's really— I love stores like that. There's in Leesburg, Virginia, there's a few little quirky stores like that.

Did you say Leesburg, Virginia? I freaking love Leesburg, Virginia.

We— I haven't been there for like 5, 5 years or so, and I really need to like go back because I love Leesburg.

You are absolutely correct, they have amazing— if you guys are ever in downtown Leesburg, like historic Leesburg, super cute. Um, there's also 2 bakeries down there.

I was gonna say, I can't remember the name of the one bakery. Oh, we—

Mom's Apple Pie.

Oh, the apple pie. They're, um, chocolate cream puff thingies that they have.

They're not quite puffs, but the eclairs.

Yes, thank you. That's the word I was thinking of.

Oh yeah, they're huge.

They're massive. Oh, so good.

Um, also, I doubt anyone from there is listening, but Aaron's Silly Putty, I have a bone to pick with you. I can never open your shit.

I can't get into the cans either.

For those of us with, uh, hand weakness and dexterity problems, your product It's so hard to get into.

I always have to have my husband open it for me. Yes, I need— yes, I need better containers for things like that.

My last— well, I spilled my last thing of Aaron's Silly Putty all over my tuxedo at work. That was my fault. Um, but I had to dent my last can like you do with like a pickle jar. Oh, that makes it—

Mom, maybe that would make it easier to get into though.

But then you can't put it back on.

Oh, that's not helpful.

There's got to be— there's got to be a better way, guys. Does it twist or does it just pop off?

I mean, it's supposed to pop off, but maybe twisting it and— I don't know. I can't ever get into them either. I always have to hand it to my husband. I can't get into them.

So see, we need better accessibility.

Accessibility with putty.

Yeah.

And there are a few brands that come like that. Thinking Putty, a couple of them that come in those kinds of cans, and I can't get into them ever. The older I get, I dry them out because I leave them open for too long, and then I dry them out, and that's not good.

And then they get all like hard and weird, and it's like easily unsatisfying. Yes. Yeah, no make new stuff. Stop doing that, guys.

Yeah, exactly. Make them more accessible.

Thank you.

Please, pretty please. Yeah, if you're watching this, anybody who makes Thinking Putty, Aaron's Putty, all of those, all of those amazing brands that are really cool Yeah, love the product inside. Yeah, I just can't get into them.

Yeah, I just can't access them.

And Ziploc bags are not good containers for them because they do dry out in a Ziploc bag too.

Oh, do they?

I've tried that. But I also found recently, as my MS progresses, I couldn't get into my coffee canisters anymore, so I had to buy those OXO ones, OXO ones with the pop Yeah. I love those. And they make them in all different kinds of sizes. So I could put like all of the things I have trouble getting into.

Nice.

Like resealable bags with the zip thingies on them. I can't do those anymore for the most part. I can't get them back open after I seal them. So I'm using— I have so many OXO containers with those little pop thingies on them now because they're—

I love the pop thingy.

They're so easy to get into.

Also, if your like fingers hurt, you can put your little elbow on that.

You can put your elbow on it. You can also push it against the corner of a cabinet or something like that if you're really struggling. So I find them very accommodating.

Ah, I love an accommodating item.

Exactly.

Also, Erin's being petty. Just, just thoughts. Let's just pretend that I don't have hand weakness or dexterity issues. If it's hard to get into, my ADHD ass is gonna give up.

Yeah. Oh yeah, there is that.

Very quickly.

If you're neurodivergent and something's frustrating to get into, forget it.

Forget it. Like, why?

Yep. I mean, an Altoid container, it's metal and it seals, and that's easy to get into.

It is.

Ideas there, Erin.

We love you.

We just, we want to help you.

Yes.

We want to get to the putty easily.

Exactly. I want to support your business. I do. I'll keep buying your shit. I just—

So if you know of a brand of putty or something that's easy to get into and is great for those of us that have some dexterity And strength issues, please let us know below because we would like to know. And Erin, or Thinking Putty, if you're watching this and you want to test on us, we are happy to test out new containers.

We'll do it online. I'll do it on my Instagram and my TikTok.

I love putty. I play with it all the time. Neato is my favorite, like, in-between option though.

Oh, I've never tried Neato.

Oh, I can't get to them easy. I move things around and now they're out of reach right this minute. But they're, they're, um, a little bit like a stress ball, but they stay cool and they've got gel inside of them. And you could really like pull on them and they almost have a putty texture to them. And you can keep rinsing them off so that you can keep them clean if they get yucky and get too much stuff in them. So that's kind of nice.

I like this brand, Jam and Jelly, but I will say I've had this for, um, about a year now and it's kind of losing it.

Yeah, they lose the smell and then they take on a funky smell after a while.

The smell is good here, it's the like texture has really deteriorated. Yeah, it gets—

yeah, but Well, that's good. At least it still smells good, because sometimes the smell— smelly ones can get funky smelling after a while.

Yes, especially if you fuck with them too much.

Yeah, absolutely.

I need— and like, I don't know if this is even possible, but if someone could create like a pet hair resistant—

A what?

A pet hair resistant—

Oh, putty. Oh, or slime.

Yeah, I mean, I think I made that up. I'm not sure that exists.

No, but that should be a thing because holy crap, that is something that happens with all of my putty and my slime because I have a doggy.

So I texted my mom the other day because we grew up in a house with a cat and a dog, and now I have a cat and a dog, and I was like, I understand why you vacuum every day now. Like, I get it. I just thought you were anal retentive.

But like, no, I just bought it.

Never stops.

I just bought a Roomba, so it vacuums everything. Without my Roomba, the vacuuming would never happen.

I think that's fair. Oh, if you want to amuse yourself, put googly eyes on your Roomba.

Um, I got one better. Mine had, except for the dog attacked them too many times, so I've got to replace them. I had, uh, Yoda ears on mine.

Yes. Yeah, give your Roomba personality.

I like my Roomba having a personality. It's entertaining. And when they have ears on it, the dog then like chases it around, and it's exercise for my dog that I don't have to do myself. So that works too.

Our dog loves chasing the Roomba too.

He— but for the most part, when it doesn't have anything on it, he's just like— unless it— we cannot get it to stop taking off with his dog dishes. And shoving his dog dishes around, he gets so upset.

Ours gets stuck on our. We have one of those mats under the dog dish that like absorbs the water because we have a lab mix.

Yeah, very messy.

It keeps getting stuck on that, and I'll just be like.

We have a silicone mat down for just catching little bits of mess because we have a little teeny tiny ten pound dog. But because it's just the silicone mat, it can push. The dishes away, and it will push them all over the kitchen floor and stuff like that. I can't get it to stop doing that no matter what I do. And the dog is so upset.

He's oh whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! My ball! Oh buddy! Poor puppy! Oh buddy!

He's looking at me like now, like what are you talking about, Mom? I'm getting a very dirty look right now. Disturbed the dog. So what is one thing you are looking forward to for this weekend?

Ooh, let me look at my calendar because I live and die by that. I don't have anything on the books, but I guess I could put something there.

Oh, you need to put something. I am getting swag ready for our Disney trip. I've got to put Indie Out Loud stickers on some Disney ears, so I'm gonna be sitting in front of the TV putting Indie Out Loud stickers on things and labeling bags and getting everybody's gift bags ready and all that good I think I'll just be finishing my taxes. My taxes are done. I got them done last week and they got approved. Like, I send them back through— I have a CPA who checks them because I'm paranoid and won't let her do my taxes because that's just me. Um, and then I sent them to her to verify and she checked them and they're all turned in and I'm done.

I did that last year and it felt great.

I am very proud of myself.

Oh yeah, you should be.

Because that's something that is a huge executive function thing for me.

I have so many clients, past and present, I'm like, I'm years behind on my tax returns.

Well, we did— we're going to do, um, next week, uh, and Friday this week And Sunday this weekend, we're going to do body doubling. Let's get our taxes done body doubling. So we're offering that to our community members specifically so that they can get their taxes done and everybody can commiserate together because we need that. We did that last year and it went really, really well and everybody loved it. Somebody asked a few weeks ago, you gonna do that again? I'm like, oh yeah, I can do that. We're gonna help you get your taxes done. And make it entertaining.

Yeah, it'll feel good to get them done.

It does.

It feels— I do mine little bits at a time now because otherwise—

I did. It took me about 2 weeks to do them, but I got them done before April. That's like, usually I'm barely getting them done by midnight on the 15th, you know.

Yeah, that's usually my This will be my last year of doing them single. Oh yeah, well, it's been a while. Um, next year I'll be— I get to do them joint, which means I have to be like super duper organized when I roll up to do Miss Ashley's next year so I don't—

You do.

Ruin my life because taxes are so easy because she has one job.

Well, it makes it easy for her then. Yeah, my husband had— well, no, my husband doesn't. No, that's— I was gonna say no, there are 14 things for him and 37,000 for me.

So, you know, yeah, enough to roll up, ready to go.

Yeah, I hope y'all have a good week. And if you need something, if you're struggling to find something to do, something to look forward to, Low effort but fun things to do. Just reach out and ask. Ask under the video. We will give you a million ideas because we have we have we're good at ideas for other people.

We are.

We really really are good at that.

Stock them to us.

Yeah, exactly. If you need anything, if you need support day to day, we are both here for you. Just let us know. Have a good day, everybody, and we'll maybe see you next week if we both have the energy.