When ADHD Coaches Get Together...

That's all I want to think about. That's all I want to do.

Absolutely.

Okay, are we going live? Are we going live today or not? It's spinning. There we go, we're live-ish on some of the platforms. Maybe I'm not on all, I don't know. Good morning, everyone. This is Danielle and Britt again with Enzi Out Loud. We're so happy to have you here. And I've got to tell you something. Something happened that is such an ADHD thing, and I had to call Miss Britt out on it. So I asked her on our live last week, when we're done, we always chat for a few minutes. And I said to her, what are your plans for this weekend? And she told me just general, like, whatever things. She neglected to tell me she was getting married this last weekend.

I literally— did not cross my mind.

That is such an ADHD thing.

Now, to be fair, to be fair, I did not— it's not like I had spent months planning a wedding, you know. I literally— this was our legal ceremony to like get on insurance and like change my name. Um, And so I didn't have to do any thinking about it. It was like, I've got the paperwork, you know, 50 days ago. I showed up, I wore a pink tutu, and, uh, it was fantastic. It was maybe a 3-minute ceremony, like maybe. And then I went out shopping and ate sushi with my wife. It was like bada bing bada boom, we're done.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she neglected to say anything until we all started seeing pictures on social media this weekend and went Hey, wait!

Yes, big wedding to follow.

But yes, and we knew that that was coming like down the line.

Officially, I get that. So, and now I have— thank you. I now have the most generic '90s ladies girly name, but my name is officially Brittany Nicole Wilson.

Oh my gosh, Britt Wilson, I love that. I actually do love that.

I moved down in the alphabet, but it's okay.

Yes, and the pink tutu was fantastic. The tutu girls here in DLA totally approve.

I did feel like I was channeling you for a second because I— after we went to the ceremony and it was a, it was a giant It's actually really cool. A gentleman by the name of Ben and his partner Lauren, they organized for free. He is a— what's the word I'm looking for? He's an officiant.

Okay.

She has— she's a woman of many talents. They organized a giant free, like, essentially like protest wedding. Excuse me. In Virginia. So that couples could get married before the inauguration. Not trying to get political, just letting you know what was going on. But it was really cool because they set everything up for us. And also it was a bunch of queer folks getting married. So a giant pink tutu was like perhaps one of the least exciting things.

It was still definitely ND@Loud approved.

Oh yeah, we, we had fun. Um, it was awesome. And if no one here has ever been to Roanoke, Virginia, it was a groovy little place.

Roanoke has got some really cool stuff going on, so that's, that's very cool.

We had to leave pretty early the next day because, um, snow was coming. We didn't want to get stuck on the roads or stuck in the ice. And like, for anybody who is from the mid-80s, The farther away from Northern Virginia you get, when it snows, I mean, they're not good at it either. The worse the driving gets. We were like, we're getting out. But I would love to go back and spend some time there. We met some amazing people, had some great food, went to some cute little shops. Shout out to La Di Da. Oh my God, let me show you what I got. Because this is very like, it's this like beautiful shop full of like all these cool clothes and like jewelry and like my neurodivergent partner and I I'm so excited about this, it's not even funny. This stained glass Bigfoot.

Oh my gosh, okay.

Isn't that fantastic?

That is awesome.

I know.

Okay, so this is what happened when ADHD coaches get together and one of them forgot that she was getting married this last weekend. So yeah, today we really are just talking about everything and everything being ADHD. So I gotta share where I'm stuck right now. I'm going to Disney the week of January 20th.

Yay!

Do you think my brain wants to do anything else than talk about it and plan for it and do all of the things?

No. Absolutely not.

And I have to function. We have a team meeting tonight. And by the way, Miss Brit, if you are available, I will send you the invite because I forgot to include you.

Sorry. I'm gonna have to watch the recording because I have to review.

And it's like, I have to focus on that. And I have to create the agenda so that the team full of neurodivergent people stays on track. Because The conversations will go haywire and we will accomplish nothing if I don't.

Um, but I don't wanna. Maybe you could dress up in some of your ears and do it.

I can. I had ears on earlier, so— and they're all like—

Not surprised. They're all right here. And you guys don't know, and you should know, uh, Danielle has an amazing assortment of ears. Yes, I do.

And I have some of them packed. I have my outfits planned with a bag and ears and sweatshirts and, and all of the things that match. And I've got them all planned out and I took pictures of them because my team is like, what are you wearing to Disney? And I'm like, oh, I have this planned out here.

You Disneybound?

Yes, um, sort of. I, I don't fully dress up as characters, but like for Hollywood Studios, for anybody that knows me and knows I love Star Wars, I have a Star Wars 1977 Millennium Falcon t-shirt. And I have a blue— it's leggings with a skort over the top of it so that it's very cute. It's very '90s Madonna looking, and I just— it makes me very happy with— because I can't wear a tutu everywhere because they're itchy and they do get uncomfortable after a while.

They're not practical for a lot of situations.

Yes, but this is as close as I can get. So I have a blue tutu with blue stripes down it to look like Han Solo's pants, and I have, uh, R2-D2 sparkly ears because, I mean, they can't just be plain, they have to be sparkly. And I have a New Hope backpack from the movie, and I even have white and black sneakers to wear to— yeah, like my whole vibe, everything matches. So I don't quite Disneybound, but I have outfits that match.

But there's like, there's themes.

There is themes.

There's intention.

Yes, like for Epcot, I have a, um, white Disney bag that has Mickey Mouse ears on it, and it's a white bag that's all of the Mickey Mouse heads on it and red accents on it. So I'm wearing a red and white striped shirt and a red and white polka dot skirt and leggings, so everything coordinates and matches.

Oh, I love that.

I love Disney, for those that didn't know that already. If you know me at all, it's just because it's so much dopamine. It's one of those places that is— I'm free to be dopamine-seeking all day long because I am sensory, a sensory-seeking ADHDer. So it's—

It's a sensory-seeking crew.

So it fulfills my need and I'm in a whole entire bubble for a whole entire week.

So. Is, uh, is your husband sensory seeking or is he very much like overly—

He overly gets overly stimulated. He likes, um, touch. He is touch seeking, but that is about the only sensory thing that he is. People, noise, Mind you, this is the husband who has been on stages for 30-plus years and plays drums and, and guitar. And he can handle that. That's his space where it's okay. But other than that, no crowds, no smells, like all of the things get to be too much. So Disney is his idea of a nightmare. And my husband is also the very practical, logical autistic side. So Disney does not make any sense to him because it's a lot of money to So yeah, stupid mouse, as he puts it. Uh, he doesn't like— that does not compute to him. He's way too logical for, for the Disney vibe thing.

So, uh, that is— that makes me laugh.

We are so opposite on those things.

My, my wife, uh, is also very much like— gets overstimulated very, very easily. Um, And so she mentioned perhaps wanting to run one of the Disney races. She's a runner, and I was like, please, please, please run a Disney race. I will go with you. I will run around Disney World while you do a run. Please let me do it.

I think they have a Disney race next week, or maybe it was last week. It's very quick. It's very—

we have them, remember?

They have like 2 or 3 a year.

There's one that coordinates with the Food and Wine Festival usually.

Yes. And yep, the, the— we're going for the Art Festival in Epcot. So we're, you know what, we're very looking forward to that. So what?

Um, something that I always talk about in terms of Disney and ADHD is that like whoever designed Walt Disney World And it's many, many people. Um, but they do experiences correctly. So I always say that, like, when I am creating an experience for myself, whether it's like crafting a room or hosting a party or whatever, my ADHD brain, it's helpful for me to be like, what if this was Disney World? Because they keep you interested and invested. The whole time. It's fully immersive. So like when you go to Magic Kingdom, it's really like the way it's designed is, uh, out of sight, out of mind, right?

Mm-hmm.

So if you're in Liberty Square, you can't really see anything else except for the castle, which you can see from a lot of places. But like when you're in a space, you're in a space and you don't really have the opportunity to get distracted by the other space, but also there's all these opportunities to do things. So like, I think about waiting in line for the, um, oh, the Seven Dwarves cart.

Oh, the Mine Train. Yeah.

The Mine Train. There is interactive stuff the whole way through the line, right? Like, you don't have as many opportunities to check out or like get bored because there's usually a bunch of stuff there to like pull your attention. And I think it's genius. I know it's to keep kids entertained. Okay. I know it's quote unquote the magic of Disney World for kids, but it is brilliant.

It's so— it's way more than that. As somebody who got to talk to some of the neurologic team at Disney, so Disney is designed To incorporate all of the senses. They don't leave your touch, smell, visual, hearing— everything is coordinated together so you're always immersed. And even in between each area, in the biggest area that you really— there are 2 major areas that this really— you can, if you're paying attention to it, really see the transition is in between regular Hollywood Studios and going into Galaxy's Edge, you've got a whole long tunnel that you walk through that has one sound, and it takes you from the Hollywood glitz and glamour of Hollywood Studios into a new world. Mm-hmm. And it's bringing your— it's actually calming you down. And this sound is the sound that I've been using for about 3 years with clients to help them with focus and getting things done. And this particular sound has a 4-hour loop on YouTube, um, and it's— it is the pitch that it's like everything about it is meant to calm your senses down and reset you for something else. So it's a transition sound.

Brilliant.

And the other place that they do this is actually in Magic Kingdom as you're walking down Main Street.

Yes, yes.

And you go from Very happy. Like, as soon as you cross security, you've got all of the happy Disney Mickey Mouse sounds, all of those things. And as you progress through the park, they're changing your mood by changing the music, not to mention the sound and the textures that you're walking on, because the textures from Main Street switch around the castle, and then they switch when you go into Adventureland and, and like all of the lands. The texture of the ground changes.

It's brilliant.

So it's, it's really, it's meant to take you through those transitions, which is why it's not overwhelming for most neurodivergent people, because it transitions you.

That's so cool.

And that the science behind it is just makes my, my—

No, I love that.

And I love it.

And I think, you know, like, Not only is it fantastic for a lot of neurodivergent people, but, like, everyone loves that shit.

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Everybody.

Now, I, I know, like, like, my, my wife would probably need a lot of breaks from an environment like that, and that's fine. Um, but still, like, it's so— can we apply this more places, please? Like, I keep saying, like, If the DMV was more like Disney World, people would go. It would not be such a painful experience. Let's just give me something to do while I'm waiting.

Mm-hmm.

That's it. That's it. It does not have to be— put some coffee out.

It doesn't have to be like—

I don't know. Yes.

Or, or purposefully Uncomfortable. I, I actually think that some things are purposefully uncomfortable.

It feels like it.

Like a dentist office could be a lot more relaxing and, and inviting to some, even somebody who has health anxiety and all of those things, if they just stopped painting everything the hospital blue or green or whatever that most everything is painted Which we all hate the color of. It's not soothing in any way. I don't know who decided those color— those beigey greens and blues and all of that were calming. They aren't.

And that's just for neurodivergent people. They aren't anymore.

Yeah. And the music, Muzak or elevator music, is not calming. I just find, as a musician, I find that stuff really annoying because it's bad.

It's just— Well, and it's, it's too looped.

Mm-hmm. The noises are looped and they're not calming sounds. Like, they're agitating and everybody feels that, not just a neurodivergent person, though of course those of us that are neurodivergent are going to pick up on that in 1.23 seconds versus a neurotypical may sit there for 20 minutes and not know until they notice. But everybody feels that and the fish tanks are not A soothing thing. I mean, they give me something to stare at for a little bit, but they're really not relaxing or calming. There's so many things that could be made relaxing and calming, and just nobody does.

Our local art museum, the VMFA, the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts, which if anybody likes art, it's one of the best art museums in the country, like That's good. They just went through a process of making their museum more autism-friendly, which is really cool. And so yes, while we are shitting on doctors' offices who fuck it up, I want to point out a business that is doing it right. And like, now you can go up to the front desk and request fidget toys. While you go through.

That's amazing.

And they've like got new lighting levels and like all these different things to help accommodate all of their patrons, which I think is really cool.

There's a lot of things in your area of the world that are doing— are, are slowly switching to do things right. Um, the Creator Institute does like conferences well. They do sensory-friendly conferences and stuff, which is such, such a thing. And I know that's something that I've talked about a lot, especially after doing things like a CHAD conference, which is for neurodivergent people and is not neurodivergent-friendly. And, and unfortunately, a lot of the companies that plan these things, like, You don't, you don't just put on a conference and not hire outside help to like, okay, I've planned things, I've been the outside help, and I'm hiring outside help this time to plan ours. They aren't, they aren't trained to be sensory friendly. Like nobody is changing how things are done. And we need to, because we don't just have neurodivergent people, we have people with invisible illnesses that, and Like mast cell activation. Somebody wearing perfume at a conference can send somebody into a mast cell attack. Uh, somebody like foods, drinks, not proper— like, there are so many things that can cause things for people that aren't necessarily neurodivergent, other disabilities, things like that. And very few conferences are set up for somebody who's hearing impaired or deaf.

I just think of like a lot of the harsh lighting I see at places, and like I remember when I used to get terrible migraines and I'm like, this would set me off.

Mm-hmm.

I can't imagine.

There's too much of that.

And there's so many of these conferences, you can't— there's no easy access to a bathroom, which is just a problem for everyone.

If you're a woman, that's a problem. I mean, just in general, that's a problem.

Yeah.

There's no easy access to bathrooms. There's— if you need a mobility aid, most of these conference rooms are set up with tables like really, really close together, and you can't get through with a walker or a wheelchair or even a cane or crutches or things like that. And they're just— so many things are just not set up the way they should be. I mean, ADA compliance, for some reason conferences don't follow. ADA compliance stuff.

And that is extra insulting when it is a conference like CHAD.

Yes, extremely. It's extremely insulting. And the cool thing is I'm speaking at the SOIP conference, which is the Society of International Operational Psychologists, um, and we put in a request to make sure I can get on stage with a wheelchair or a mobility aid. And they're like, oh, you don't have to put in a special request for that. They've already It's already there.

What a concept.

And, and I talked to— because we're going to stay in an Airbnb as a team, I'm like, okay, I, I have some things that I need. And the coordinator for the conference was able to point us to a couple buildings that were right across the street, some condos that have elevator access and mobile— like all of the things that I would need. Like this conference is acknowledging and has things already figured out for stuff like that. There's not— that's not normal.

I mean, I think it just goes to show how little our society values people with disabilities, which is insane because if you live long enough, you will develop a disability.

It is the only— it is the only group of people that you can join in any minute.

At any time. Anytime.

And, and it could be something as simple as— and I've talked to a few women about this— getting menopause can create some major invisible disability issues. And that's just menopause, not to mention those of us that have autoimmune disorders and, and all of the things.

And think about pregnancy and all the ways that can change and disable the human body.

Absolutely.

Oh my God, there's so many.

There's so many things, and I obviously am just learning to— I've always had mast cell and EDS, and, and they've always caused a few issues, but I— now that I have to always have mobility aids, now I'm learning that I was horrified how inaccessible CHAD was to me and other people like me. I was not the only one there with mobility aids. Not at all. And a lot of things were just difficult. And I was talking to one woman who was an amputee and has been for a long time. Like, she was like, I don't actually really even think about it anymore. I just— it's how I have to navigate everything in life. I'm like, no, this is ridiculous. Yes, I'm new to having this, but this is ridiculous. This should not be how everyday life is. We have ADA laws for a reason. Why aren't— I understand not every situation being fully accessible because I mean, it— okay, little tiny stores, little tiny shops, they don't— not everything has to be—

You can't just throw an elevator in a lot of historic buildings, right?

But most things, it— that should be the exception. Not the, the norm. And I'm learning that. So things like CHAD is not the only conference that I've gone to in the last year that's made me think of this. But that's the reason why we're doing our own conference in 2026, because too many people with invisible disabilities don't have a safe conference space to go to. And there's way more than us— of us than people think. So what is— what's one of the bigger topics you're talking about with clients, like, over the last week now that people are trying to recover from holidays?

Everyone's like, I want to get back on schedule. Like, figuring out what the hell that actually means.

Get back on a schedule that you were hoping to get on before the thing that threw off your schedule, threw off your schedule.

Yeah. And it's interesting because a lot of my clients, like, it's just that time of year and everybody was just at events where they were surrounded by people. A lot of my clients are in this place of, okay, I would really like to get back to a more regular structured schedule now that the holidays are over, but also now I'm sick.

Mm-hmm.

Um, but just trying to remind everyone that they're There's not a rush, right? You're not— you don't need to wake up tomorrow and immediately put in— like, heal, rest, start small. ADHD brains, they're, you know, a hallmark of our executive dysfunction is cognitive inflexibility. That means we like to say, I'm gonna go balls to the wall or do nothing. It can be in the middle and most likely will be in the middle, but we got to embrace that middle.

Mm-hmm. And I think the big thing I've been talking about is micro changes. We're not making big changes. Let's slowly transition into what you want life to look like. Slowly transition. Like, what is one thing you can change today? One thing, one thing in And don't— my biggest, like, changing how you're eating, because everybody wants to lose weight and I need to get healthy in the new year, because that's very typical even for ADHDers. And I said, okay, so let's change the version of the thing you're eating. So instead of eating actual Cheez-Its, let's go get the all-natural ones. Let's not take away Cheez-Its. Yeah.

Some of my favorite, um, Nutritionists and dietitians always talk about like adding goodness as opposed to taking away what you consider bad, like adding nutrition, right? Like if you're gonna— if you want Cheez-Its, great. Can you pair them with like some fiber, right? You pair them with a piece of fruit.

So the cool thing about even just changing the version of the Cheez-Its you're eating They're not going to taste exactly the same, but your body is going to still be happy that you're honoring the fact that it wants something, and you're not going to want to eat as many because they don't taste the same, which actually does a few different things for you when you're doing it. And the other thing I always— the other suggestion I always have for somebody who wants to change their eating habits is for everything that you're going to eat, get 4 grapes and eat 4 grapes, or eat a handful of peanuts with it, whatever it is. I don't care if it's pizza. I don't care if it's a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. Fine, have that bag of Cool Ranch Doritos, but have a handful of something healthy to go with it. Yeah, just don't deny yourself the things.

No, because again, we are so susceptible to that. Um, you know, binge eating disorder is the most common eating disorder seen in people with ADHD. I believe it's the most common eating disorder seen throughout the population. I could be wrong about that. But I know it is the most common thing with ADHD. And again, we, we are really susceptible to those feast and famine cycles. And it's not sustainable. It is simply not sustainable for anyone, but especially us. One of my favorite questions that some coaches I know used to ask Is what's— how would this be improved? Or like, how could you improve this by 1% today?

Yes. I love that.

1% improvement. And it's like, oh, that is so—

That's simple. Like, everybody can handle a 1% improvement, which is why I say don't deny yourself the cheeses or the Doritos. Eat the baked Doritos versus the regular Doritos. You're getting It's healthier. It's a healthier version. Eat one bite of an apple with your candy bar. I mean, don't stop denying ourselves. And I think that's one of the big things that the nutrition— like you said, the nutrition world gets wrong. And it's not just for neurodivergents. Stop denying. When you deny yourselves, you're more likely to binge eat, you're more likely to give up, you're more likely to gain weight instead of losing weight. I saw some stat a couple weeks ago, and I wish I would have written it down, that the get healthy in January equals like— it was over 40%, 44% of people who deny themselves all of January gain all of the weight plus 10% in February.

That's horrific and sounds very stressful on a body.

Yeah, it's not good for anybody. Definitely not good for an ADHDer to add to that shame spiral that we're always feeling anyway.

Oh, and I just need to say this, uh, because every diet season— we have now and then we have spring when everyone's like, I'm getting ready for my vacation. Um, I— unless your medical doctor has specifically approved this, a 1,200-calorie diet Is not appropriate for anyone but a toddler.

Yes. I don't know where that— I want to know where that 1,200 calories thing came from.

I heard it was huge in the '90s. I mean, like, you're guaranteed to— if you stick to it, you're guaranteed to lose weight because you are grossly undernourishing yourself.

Yeah, you're also going to cause yourself malnourishment issues. I just— I don't understand that stuff. It doesn't make sense to me. No, don't— I don't know. And this is where ADHD coaches talk about everything and everything. You never know what we're going to be talking about. So I hope you guys have gotten something out of what we are talking about and you understand that we're here to support you to do it better. Because it's not about like, if you want to change your diet in January, we're here. We can help you do it in a healthy way.

In a sustainable way.

And I don't care whether you're neurodivergent or not. We can help you even if you're not neurodivergent. But if you enjoy our conversations, join us every Tuesday. We go live at the same time. Okay, most every week. We are ADHD with chronic illness. So we may or may not show up live every single week, but we try.

We do our best. We do.

We do. And Brittany is amazing at reminding me to give myself grace on this stuff. I hope that you have an amazing week. If you like these conversations, if you have something you want us to talk about, let us know. Have an amazing one, everyone.

Bye.