When ADHDers Connect #adhdmanagement #productivitytips #neurodivergentlife #adhdplanning

Just so you know, we just started this and you might not have seen it live, or maybe it did because sometimes it counts down after it's already gone live. Yes, we think LinkedIn is ADHD. Hi, I'm Danielle with Indie Out Loud and I have Shay Woodward with me today. And we originally were getting together to do a couple quick videos that she signed up to do with me. We're doing some ADHD in the street type videos and sharing tips and tricks and showing people that you can have success with ADHD. And we had so much fun talking before we went live, I decided we just have to do this now. So Shay is a master certified coach and she works with ADHDers. Can you tell us more about who you are and what you do?

Well, I'm a mom of a blended family of 9, and I've been coaching for the last 2 years with ADHD people. And it's been a blast, and I have 19 grandkids. I know that's a lot. I know I get that expression most of the time, but I'm still a crochet bunny, you know, grandma that just loves to spend time with the grandkids and the family and be able to help people get that light bulb moment to be able to be like, oh, I'm okay, I'm ADHD, and that's just fine. So there we go. That's mostly what I do.

So Shay is like the second half, the other part of my brain. We were talking about planning and some of our favorite tips for planning, and we both use bullet journals and create what we want and decorate as we want and do what we want, how we want, because traditional planners don't work for us. And I was sharing, showing her how I do my studies in my schoolwork because I'm back in school. And she was giggling that, oh, that's so cool that I do that in my planner. And like, we connected on every level because we do so many things the same way. So what is one of your favorite things that you do with your clients, like types of discussions or things that you really help them— like to help them with?

That's a really good question. I think the biggest one recently has been they just can't feel like they can get anything done. And I'm like, okay. And they look at me like, but I'm supposed to have all this stuff done. And I say, okay, so why are you stressing on it? It's not going to go away if you don't do it. So what are you going to do to take care of it? And they actually sit there and just look at me like I am the weirdest person in the world. Like, actually, we're going to get something done? Yes. So I teach them, take your timer. And if a timer is too distracting, because I've had a couple clients where they look at the timer instead of Focusing on what they need to get done. I say do it until you get bored and then go find something else to do. Either find another task that you can bounce back and forth with, or like take that minute and then take 5. So do 15 with the work, 5 with nothing, and go back to it again. Because what's happening is you're rewarding that work, which is what we need. We need that dopamine hit to make it more exciting for us. Or I say, make it fun. Turn on some music, dance around the house, do something that encourages you to do it. And once they started doing that, the one that said, I can't use a timer, found that she was doing on average about 20 minutes of the work, stepping away, going to another one, doing 20 minutes there and coming back. So what she found is she actually got it done. She decreased the clutter in her house. And within months, she got rid of half of the stuff that was clogging up all of her, her storage area. So that's just one quick thing that I've been working with. But I've notice a lot more people are having issues with clutter or stacks or piles. So we just find tips that work for them.

Yeah. And I think that's one of the biggest things that I always find is find what works for them. And it's not— there is no one size fits all. Just because I have something that works for me, you have something that works for you, doesn't mean it's gonna always work for a client. Or it could be just one of the things in their toolbox. So like the planning thing we were talking about earlier, I always have 5 Okay, to 20 planners. But my one tip to everybody is if you like to try different planners and you like to have— always buy an undated.

Right.

Because if you buy an undated one, you can bounce around. And some days I want my bullet journal and other days I want— right, I did a brand deal for Erin Condren a while back and I love her planners, but I don't always want this style planner. I want to create my own thing. I want to color, I want to whatever. Whatever the thing is, or I want the purple planner, or I want the thing that's got the really smooth paper.

Right. Or maybe you want to be able to put stickers on there, or you want to be able to have a thin one, not a fat one.

Right, right, exactly. So, I mean, and it's a combination of what's a sensory overwhelm, what's, what's an emotional overwhelm, what's a physical overwhelm, right? How do you do things? And allowing ourselves to do it whatever way works best for us. I know.

That's the third part. It's teaching them to take their brain thoughts and their processes and say, come on, tell me what feels good, what doesn't feel good. Oh, you tried it and you hated it? That's okay. You don't have to push yourself through it to keep doing it to accommodate someone else.

Stop trying to live other people's lives their way.

Yes, and get out of the square box. You don't need to be in that box. You're not made to fit into that box. You're made to be you, not this box of what everybody else is trying to tell you you are. Absolutely.

So ND Out Loud, we're all about living life out loud our own way. So I so much enjoyed having Shay with me today, and I want you to go check her out. Check her out on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, all of the things. Her links will be eventually below. They aren't right now because I— BeLive only lets me put, put so much stuff in the description. So, Shay.

Yes.

What is one thing that you are looking for? Who's your ideal client? What's the one person you're looking for? Who are you looking to work for?

Right now, my ideal client is working with women that are between like the ages of 30 and 55. Because look, the reality is, is that Women are finally being diagnosed with the ADHD, and they're being diagnosed later in age. And then they're like, oh, that makes sense on everything. But now they're like, what do I do? So this is where I can come in and help them to be able— let's just get and move it through a process. You're just fine. There's nothing wrong with you. You're not broken. So my ideal client is working with them, but eventually I'm coming to help those teens because if they can walk of school, they won't have to deal with that mess as they grow up because they'll already have tools.

That is amazing. We have Laura on our team. If you haven't checked her out, she's a family sociologist and has written a book for teens on being ADHD. So check her out. But Shay already has 9 examples of how she lives every day. So I don't think she has to wait to go after the teens. I think she just needs to Do that now?

Thankfully, they're older. So the youngest is 18 now.

So good. Living through— we've lived, we've lived it, and we have successful kids now. So what is one of your favorite tools that you use right now out in the world as an ADHDer? What's your favorite tool right now?

Well, my favorite tool is actually my planner, because it keeps me on task. It keeps me moving forward. And I look forward to getting into it, but it's a combination. There's not just one thing that works, and that's what Danielle said earlier. So my combination is this: I have a calendar on here and I keep my thoughts in here. The 2 together have made me be able to build a business. Guys, you can do this. It's, it's hard, but it's not hard if you know how to step into your processes, know where your limits are, and be able to handle those stressful moments. You do that, it's— nothing's impossible. You can get through anything. And don't forget about the ADHD community. That's your support.

Yep. So my, my tools are always my planner, my planner, because it's my second brain. And you guys, if you follow me for a while, you know, I talk about having a second brain. My second brain is my lifeline. But my second one is the community, my community, and The Allowed, because without them, I would not stay on track every day, I would be all over the place. Like today, we had a special free open body doubling for everyone, even our free members in our community. And we've been body doubling all day. You want to know how much stuff I've gotten done today?

Amazing.

There's so many extra people body doubling, and I'm all excited as the person running it that my energy has been huge. But every single person that's attended today is like, I got 5, 5 more tasks done than I thought I could do in that time. This is amazing.

Do you know what's scary? Do you know what's scary? I didn't even know what that was until just like 8 months ago.

Body doubling is such a huge part. Like, I, I'm not gonna do— because I didn't ask anybody in my body doubling if I could do it, but I have 4 people in body doubling with me down here. I always have it on an iPad separate from my computer because if it was on my computer, I'd get distracted by it. So it's on a separate screen. It's right here. And we were all day long. And we start at 7 AM, we go to 5 PM Central every day, because that's what— that is my number one key to being successful is I have ADHDers to hang out with and commiserate with, to vent to, and I get support. I mean, I've been doing this a long time, but a couple of my ADHDers have taught me things in the last week. Because I didn't think about looking at it that way, or Or thinking about it in that particular way. I got stuck in somebody else's box.

Mm-hmm. Yes, that lovely box that we have.

Well, and so I'm also autistic, so I'm ADHD and autistic. So sometimes my brain is very overly complicated engineering something when I just needed to go from here to here and not here to over there and up there and down here and over there.

Yes. Can I add one more thing, Danielle? I think the biggest thing that helps me get through the day is having the tools, right? Whatever the tool is for that day, but also having some fun. You guys find a moment of fun. I mean, yeah, we were just talking about how many cups we have in our office. I only have right now, but normally I have like 3 to 5. Oh, now see, she's gonna— she's showing off now. She got 4.

This one's empty.

But the reality is, is that we have tools set up for the way that we need to be for that day. Hey, I need a drink of water all the time. I have my cup with, you know, something in that. And then I also might have a protein shake, or I might have a smoothie, or I might have— and I could have them all over my desk, but that's my tool for me. Somebody else walks in and is like, oh my gosh, what's your problem? You've got so many cups on your desk. Yes, so that's mine. It's fun.

It's how I remember to feed myself, drink, keep myself caffeinated, all of those things. But I also have fidget— I mean, I've been fidgeting the whole entire time we're on. I have toys on my desk. These are actually illustrations that I use, but I have a blah blah button. I used to have an It's Easy Staples button, but I think my husband took it away because it made noise. My husband also works from home across the hall.

So yeah.

I really want the goat that makes noise when you squeeze him and he falls down. The Fainting Goat.

Oh my gosh.

Yes. At Barnes Noble so many times, and I want him, and my husband keeps telling me no.

And then find fun.

I will get to Barnes Noble by myself.

Ah, that's the key— by yourself.

That just hasn't happened recently. Uh, so if you have tools, if you need something, reach out to Shay, reach out to me. We are here to help you. We're here to help you have fun with your ADHD. It doesn't have to be boring, and you don't have to be somebody's Ideal of what that's supposed to look like.

I don't fit it, and I'm glad.

I definitely don't fit it. Have an amazing day. Thank you for joining us, and check us out.