In this conversational YouTube episode, Danielle Ralston and co‑host Vita dissect the toxic promises of the "girl boss" and high‑ticket coaching industry, especially as experienced by neurodivergent entrepreneurs. They begin by recounting a client’s distress over being sold the unrealistic goal of a six‑ or seven‑figure business, highlighting the mismatch between promised annual revenue and the mistaken expectation of monthly six‑figures. The duo explains that many neurodivergent individuals possess a strong internal sense of justice, which makes the unfairness of these promises especially painful. They discuss how pricing must align with personal comfort and integrity, sharing their own evolution from low‑ticket monthly subscriptions to a $1,999 group program, and contrasting this with other ADHD programs ranging from $100 to $500 per month. They critique mid‑ticket (high‑ticket) clients as often entitled and difficult, while noting that truly high‑ticket clients can be hands‑off and respectful. The conversation moves to sales ethics, introducing an "80/20/20" value‑based sales framework that can be applied in short daily sessions. They argue that the market is saturated with identical service models and inflated prices, making it hard for newcomers to succeed. Real‑world anecdotes illustrate that expensive coaches do not guarantee better outcomes; a $20,000 coach offered less value than a $200 coach, and a high‑ticket coach’s collapse led to a class‑action lawsuit. The hosts stress operating with integrity, listening to community feedback, and adapting business practices while staying true to one’s sense of justice. The episode concludes with a call for listeners to reflect on their desired business identity and to ask questions openly.
Chapters
We are talking about why boss girl land is BS, and I have a reason. I had a coaching call with somebody this morning who was extremely frustrated, distraught, thought she was a horrible, horrible business owner, ready to give up because she has been sold this bill of sale that she has to be a 6 and 7-figure business owner. And she had 2 issues wrong with this. One, she wasn't making it, so therefore she was a terrible person, not hitting 6 and 7 figures consistently in her business. And for some reason, she also thought that she had to hit 6 figures a month in her business. And I'm like, no, when those people are talking about that, they mean a year. So first of all, that's not obtainable or reality. And the second thing was she felt dirty doing that. Yeah, it's very bro marketing. It's very toxic. Girl boss world is extremely toxic. So for our men in here, you know what I mean when I say girl boss. And I don't mean that anybody should operate like that. So here's what I wanna say about it. We have a huge, huge, huge sense of justice. Can you explain what that means and break that down for people, Evita?
So basically we are internally Wonder Woman or Captain America, whatever it is that you relate to the most, right? I can remember as a kid seeing things and that's not fair. That's not supposed to be that because what we do as NeuroDivergent People is we are constantly trying to figure out the source code. Right, we're trying to figure out the code for the game, for life, whatever. We need the pattern that they expect us to behave in and once we learn it, then we do this. Little kids do this all the time, right?
Mm-hmm.
Because people lay down a rule and the kids will follow the rule, but when the parent doesn't follow the rule, the kids are like, hey, you said we weren't allowed to cuss, but you're cussing and I have done this myself. This is no shame to parents out there. They're like, well, when you don't have an answer for your kid that really is good, you're just like, well, do as I say, not as I do, right? For people with a really strong sense of justice, we are never able to wrap our minds around that. We are told that life is supposed to be fair, which is the biggest crock of shit that anyone ever tells us, because life is inherently not fair. So when we see things that are not fair, then it just grates on our internal sense of justice. Even if you don't say anything about it, even if you've suppressed that, it irks us to neurological level and it makes us unwell around that stuff, mentally, emotionally, physically. And so a lot of times when we see these things that are unjust, eventually we gravitate away from that, but while you're trying to push yourself into the box where this is happening, it's not going to fit right for you.
Right, and The 6, 7-figure big boss girl lifestyle is not one that is easy. It is not easy to do consistently. And there's a million things about it that just aren't easy, especially when you're neurodivergent. But the other part of it is, it's trying to push that does become scammy. It really does become scammy. The sales don't feel right. And we feel like we can't do it and we're doing something wrong all of the time.
Wait.
It's just not a good fit. It's just not a good fit. And the reality is, as an entrepreneur, we obviously want to earn as much money as we can. Hello, what's the point of owning a business if you don't? But the part of that is understanding what's obtainable for you, what's actionable for you, and what feels good. Charging somebody $150 an hour may not actually feel good. You may not feel fair. Now, Vayda and I are a perfect example of this, and I'm going to bring this up. We charge $1,999 for our main group program. I know of at least 4 or 5 other ADHD group programs that offer less than we're offering or about the same that we're offering that start at $250 a month, $100 a month, $500 a month. Yes, there's an ADHD program out there that charges $500 a month and they are getting people at that rate and that's fine. They could charge whatever you want, but that did not feel good to Vita and I. And I want to remind y'all, somebody who's been following me a while, I was charging $297 a month for the same thing. Or no, we were charging $497 a month for the same thing before. And that did not feel good to me. It was not aligned. I had a lot of issues with that. I charge $1,999 for that now.
The other thing is on your pricing, there are a lot of us that we undervalue ourselves quite a bit. And so there's a lot going into when you're setting your pricing. But when I started my VA business and then it moved into coaching, this is what I did. went into groups and I answered questions and I gave value. And then if people wanted to work with me, they came to me. I was fishing with integrity. I was putting stuff there. I wasn't like, hey, join my group for $19.97 a month, join for $150. And you see those out there. It's one of the reasons I hate LinkedIn with a fiery passion, because every time I'm like, oh, this person looks okay, they have lots of mutuals, I'll add them. I immediately get a DM that's like, hey, have you just started Have you thought about joining my coaching program? And I'm like, piss off. If I wanted to join it, I'd come find you. So give value. And as you get established and you're like, I'm good with this price, it is okay to price hike, but you're not going to do it $19 to $200, right? You're going to do incrementally. And it's a ratio of time and effort, right? How much time do you have? How much money do you need to make? And in between. And the people that are good clients you will find you and we'll work with that. Now I will tell you, I had big ticket prices and I signed clients at those big ticket prices. And you want to know, some of those clients were the worst clients I've ever had.
Oh my gosh. Every time I've ever had a client that was one of my big— no, that's not true. I had big ticket clients that were so hands-off because they knew the value of what they were getting and I didn't have to fight for it. Explain. They were amazing. My mid-ticket clients, which in the online boss girl world they call high-ticket, $500 a month clients, those are the worst freaking clients I have ever had in my life. Every single one of them.
I agree. My thought is, is that client isn't— they're not at the low-middle income level, right? But they're not at the super high earning level. So they're in this flux between middle income and rich.
And they're faking the girl boss life. They say that they're girl bosses. They say they have lots of money, but they aren't actually living that way. So therefore every dime is a problem.
And the clients that I've had in that economic band that are problems are very entitled. They want everything and they want something for nothing, right? They want more than even if you establish like these are the expectations for this amount of money, they want more and they're constantly testing the fence. And I have served out contracts and then said, okay, you know, I'm booked up. So I didn't have room for them after that. And there have been a couple where I have refunded their money because it just— I was going to be miserable. And if I wanted to be miserable, I would have stayed at my day job.
Exactly.
So here's the thing.
When you own a business, you could charge whatever the crap you want. You could charge it how you want. Sell the way you want. There are some rules that go with doing certain kinds of sales. I teach you guys the 80/20/20 rule, the value-based sales rules. That works. You could do that in 15 minutes or less a day. It's very low-key effort.
It's really easy.
It has a lot of integrity despite what some ADHDers have told me in the past. There's a lot of integrity behind doing that that way. But we also have to understand That you're not going to be a successful business owner just by automatically jumping into charging high tickets. I don't care whether you're a coach or a VA or whatever. And I think part of the issue with the online world now, and I've gone down this rabbit trail with a group of people that know way more than me, that are, are very, very, very, very smart and very financially, fiscally knowledgeable. And I actually had a long conversation with my financial planner a couple of weeks ago. About how the reason why the online world is flooded and so few people can find success in owning an online service-based business is because they all are doing the same thing. They do the same thing, they do it the same way, and they are charging ridiculous prices. So not for nothing, $40— if you're a basic VA, $40 an hour is too much money because—
It—
I can go hire somebody locally to me. To be a VA for $12 an hour. I think that's a little low, but that is a reality. So why would I hire an online person when I can hire a local person for a hell of a lot less?
And once you get to $40 an hour, you're really charging OBM prices anyway.
Even $30 an hour, too much. I'm sorry. That's too much a VA unless you are OBM or a high-tech person. And now I say that I have an agency, we charge between $30 and $40 an hour, but we are all OBMs. And coaches that come out of the gate, never coaching before and coming out of their coaching programs and charging $250 an hour. And that's BS because if you were a therapist, you want to know what a therapist comes out of college earning? $25 an hour.
And the pricing is really all over. So that was one of the hardest things when I started my VA business was to try to figure out price. And that's why they told me all the research that I could find is it was better to charge And then you just get really good at time management because people—
Mm-hmm.
Their minds around like a combo meal, a package, stuff like that. And then it was up to you to make sure that that package was priced appropriately for the hour, the money that you needed to make for the time you spent. And, but still, I would look at these, these big, and big ticket, thousands of dollars For 1 hour of coaching, or people, $10,000 packages. And my jaw would just drop because I'm looking at this person's life, their whatever they're putting out on social media. And I'm like, are they showing me that they are— they have enough knowledge to warrant $1,000 an hour? Are they creating these in their own life? And a lot of them are not. And I found out there's lots of tricks. And these ladies Which, respect the hustle, but these ladies are presenting basically a highlight reel marketed specifically to prey on a lot of insecurities. People are biting and doing it. And that to me, that goes against every fiber of my being. Sales, like, go in and you're like, here's my package, do you want to be part of my group? And I'm like, hell no, I haven't even said hello to this person. And I may miss out on sales because of the way I, I do things, but I think that I, at the end of the day, I can sleep with myself. I can sleep. I'm okay with the impact that I've made.
So part of why we're having this conversation today, and obviously today is Tip Tuesday for the entrepreneurs, is because I had a call this morning and somebody called me out on spending— I spent 2 years trying to go after that 6, 7-figure coaching life. And I I paired myself and worked with, I worked with coaches. I hired a couple high-ticket coaches. You wouldn't know what they got me, next to nothing. I will tell you, I've hired a $20,000 package coach. I've hired a $200 package coach. I have not gotten any more out of the $20,000 coach than the $200 coach. Actually, the $200 coach is freaking amazing, and she actually helped me figure out what I wanted more for myself out of my business—
Right.
Than the $20,000 coach did. Because the $20,000 coach wanted me to follow their rules, their way, only their way. And that just didn't work. My brain does not work like that. We all know that. But it's understanding that you can earn what, what is comfortable. You can make a comfortable living at $20 and $30 and $40 an hour. You can make a comfortable living doing that. You do have to understand how to scale, and you have to understand how to do packages, and you have to understand how to create volume and maybe do a group program and maybe sell digital downloads. And there are lots of pieces to owning a business, but you don't have to do them outside of your integrity because when you do operate outside of integrity, bad things happen in the long term, in the long run. And I see this happen. I saw this happen very recently. And no, I'm not giving names to a very, very high-ticket coach. And not only one, did she unable to keep up the hustle. 2, when she crashed and burned, she actually took a bunch of clients with her and now she is getting sued By every single one of them. She has a class action lawsuit against her.
Wow.
So really think about, don't just hire somebody because they're a high ticket person. Don't do that. Number 2, really operate in your own integrity in your business. Who do you wanna be? Who do you want to be perceived as? Because it feels yucky when somebody comes back to you and says, this isn't what you preach, or this isn't what you used to say, or this is— that sucks. And I'm in that position a lot lately because I, Operated outside of my own integrity for a while. I followed the shiny balls.
And it's okay, guys. And we all— like, that's what we do, right? We try things, we make mistakes. Here is where the resiliency comes in. So Danielle's having to fight in the face of RST and, and lots of things that are going on internally, and then justify why, where she's caused It's not like a mistake that you've made on the back end that nobody sees. This was very public and she's having to talk about it and own it. And we're trying to learn from us. That's our goal. Learn from us. That's what coaches do, right? Learn from us and the mistakes we've made, because I can save you a lot of frustration, time, and effort. Absolutely.
I'm owning it a lot more than I would like to. And things keep coming up even 6 months later, somebody could Still comes to me. This morning somebody came to me and said, hey, and I was like, wow, I didn't even see that. And wow, I'm really sorry about that. And I can't change what I did in the past, but here, this is how I can help now. But this person came to me and asked for me to change something. I love that. I love that somebody felt comfortable enough to do that. That's freaking amazing.
But see, that speaks to the community that you've built, that people would be willing to come and tell you this doesn't feel super great to me. Can we change this?
And understand that when you are, especially as a coach or, or in a service for any kind of service provider, cuz coaches are service providers, understand that your integrity is a big part of who you are and what you do. So how are you gonna operate in that? Now we can have chaos around that. We cannot know what tasks to do day to day. We can't—
all of those things are still true when you're ADHD. Neurodivergent, and it's fine.
And we can find, we can fix that. That's what we can help with, but operate where you're comfortable and where your sense of justice is. And it all comes back to that sense of justice for us. So I hope that you guys have an amazing day today. If you have questions, if you want to know more, all of these things, always ask below. I'm always happy to answer the questions. I'm trying to be an open book about everything. And I'm always happy to answer your questions. Have an amazing day today. How do you want to be in your business? What do you want to be? Who do you want to look like? What do you want people to say about you behind closed doors? That's the point of this call. Have an amazing day, everyone.
