Create Your best Life With Rex - Jairek Robbins

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Welcome, everybody, to create your best life with Rex. I am Rex Sykes.

I am your host.

My co host is Danny Walsh. And today we're welcoming bestselling author and performance coach Jerick Robbins. Now, Fast company calls him inspiring and says he will make your life less ordinary. But Forbes says Jericho will teach you how to succeed. And Deepak Chopra, if you've heard of him, will advise you to go to Jerich to help create meaning and fulfillment in your life. And Brian Tracy, author of 93 books, applauds Jared's ability to teach people how to develop meaning and purpose and then to make the them have a difference in their lives and make a difference in the lives of others. So if you're looking for ways to level up your life and business jerk's your guy. So let's get started. I'm going to bring Jared up and Danny Walsh.

Hey, how we doing? Rex Jarek, please. So pleased to have you here. This is, like, going to be a lot of fun, right? How's everybody doing this this fine morning? Evening? I think we're in different areas of the world, right?

Yeah. So if you're listening live and you have a chat room available to you, go ahead and say hi in the chat room or tell us where you're from at the same time. And we're going to get going with our conversation with Jerich. But sometimes, depending on where you are, the chats don't show up. We may or may not see it, but we'll, we'll work on all of that. Jericho, how are you today?

Blessed. Blessed on this end. And yourself?

Oh, blessed too, sir. And blessed to be with you and Danny, too. And, and to be able to make this happen for everybody who's watching, both live and in the replay. So why don't we, why don't we do this? I mean, you have an incredible biography and incredible legacy of, of leaving a track record of success and coaching people for many, many years. Now, how about we just briefly, how did you get started? What was it that drove you to want to help people the way you're helping people?

Lots of different things. I think there were some mentors I had growing up, three of them at least. That gave me a really great set of insights. One I always lean on. First was my grandmother. She's someone who worked extremely hard, and she raised five kids as a mom. And then she, you know, after she raised all five kids, she went to work. And back in those days, she was a secretary at the Chamber of Commerce, and then she got into sales and for the past probably 25 plus years, she's been the number one sales rep in every single company she's worked with. And so she landed up on the company cover of Newsweek magazine and as the key to the city for businesswoman of the year of Los Angeles. She absolutely dominated everything she did. And I remember as a kid growing up where she was the first person to put me in a suit and teach me a presentation, and I used to do envelope licking and stamping and writing with her to send birthday cards to clients and stuff like that as a five year old kid. And I remember those moments. And I remember sitting in her office and she had a wall that from floor to ceiling was covered in plaques and awards of everything she had won and accomplished. And I remember talking to her and just asking, like, why'd you do this? Like, you're clearly the best at everything you do. Like, why this? And she says, you know, when she was a little kid, she remembers living on a part of town where she told two stories that just stuck in my mind forever, where at one point she went to go swimming in the one town swimming pool. And it was segregated, so they let the black and brown kids swim first. Which we were in that category. She was in that category. And then afterwards when they got out, they'd empty the pool and bleach it before they let the white kids swim. I was like, wow, that's an interesting experience. And she goes, oh yeah. I remember her father, my great grandpa was doing really well. He was a tailor and then had other businesses and investment properties. And he, he was getting ready to buy an investment property on a part of town that was considered not where brown people bought properties. And he bought one and they told him not to. And he was stubborn and resilient and he did it anyways. And the next day they burned it down. Oh Lord, like, holy smokes. And I asked her, I was like, you know, what does all that mean to you? Because that can mean a million things. And she goes, you know, what it meant to me was take the cards you're dealt and learn how to play them to win. I was like, wow, that's a great lesson. I mean, I could have come up with all kinds of really bad meanings from those two situations. And I was frustrated. I'm like, I wasn't even around. And I was like, oh, how could they do that? And then that thought of this. What did she take from it? What she took from it was, take the cards you're dealt and play them to win. And it doesn't matter what you're dealt. Take it and learn how to win with it. I love that.

I mean, that is such a powerful message in a condensed form that anyone can keep in mind and remember and apply to their lives. But also the experiences that you had and that she had.

Yeah, luckily, I didn't have them. I think I would have dealt with them much differently. My grandfather, luckily knew how to keep his cool and was able to go through those moments without being phased, but continue moving forward regardless of the obstacle or circumstance. And my grandma had some of that, too, because in her circumstance with the pool, she was able to keep her cool and navigate through it. And both of them, regardless of circumstance, still found a way to win.

So I'm gonna. I'm gonna reveal something right off the bat that I think just right there in your opening story. You've revealed so much of what people can do to make a difference in their own life from this moment forward. I mean, to stay cool to, you know, understand that you've been dealt certain cards and then play to win. I mean, very concise, powerful message. And you said there were other mentors, too, or.

Yeah, there are three. My. My mom. I'd put her in the. The next space there. And she was someone who just had the biggest heart in the world. And I'll never forget, she was not good with numbers or math or money. And she was good at math. She just wasn't good with money. And I remember, you know, different things happened in her life, and towards the end of her life, I was trying to help as much as I could under the circumstances she was in. And I remember, you know, I was going through her numbers, trying to figure out how to even things out or get her in a better position. And I'd look at her credit cards, and she had them all maxed out, which is not a good place to be. She, you know, 26% interest or something on cards. I'm like, what are you.

What are you doing?

But she was such a giver. I remember she'd pay off $500 of a, you know, $3,000 credit card and say, Honey, I have 500 available if you need anything.

Wow.

Like, that's. That's not how it works, Mom. And, you know, I remember her being so giving. Take that card and go buy $50 worth of gift cards to, you know, a little restaurant in $5 increments. And when she drive around town, she'd hand them out to homeless people so at least they can get some food. Wow. I Just be like, wow, like you're not in the position to do that at all. And that was the point. She says, you know, it's not the position you're in. If you care, you care and you'll find a way to take care of others.

That's beautiful.

I was like, that's, that's really important. It's not the position you're in. It's if you care, you'll find a way to take care of others. And I wouldn't recommend that financial position to anybody. I certainly worked hard not to be in that position. And she was inspiration to that as well, of seeing how hard it was and seeing how uncomfortable it always was to be like, hey, I'm a bust my face to make sure I don't have to land up there. Luckily, I was able to help when she was towards the end of her life there. But it was a beautiful lesson of regardless of the circumstance, if you care, you care. And if you want to find a way to help others, you will. And I just thought it was such a neat lesson. It was an inspiration. And so the drive to win, caring. And then the third one was, you know, my dad, where he grew up, and he was a troublemaker as a kid. He got kicked out of the house by my grandma. And I verified the story. He was, he was being a pain, but he got kicked out at 17 for his own doings. And he was living in his car, trying to figure stuff out, working as a janitor, going to school, high school in the day, and, you know, doing janitor work at night and working if, you know, sleeping a few hours a night, which he still maintained somehow in his 60s. But he was someone who went from just a kid trying to figure his life out to, you know, now he just got done. And the way to measure how well he's done, I think is how much he's given. He just got done with a 10 year. It was a 10 year plan to deliver a hundred million meals. No, I'm sorry, 100 million meals a year for 10 years. So a billion meals through Feed America and he was able to successfully complete that within eight years. So they, they finished two years ahead of schedule. They already delivered a billion meals through Feed America and then they upped the game. They said, why not go more? So now they're doing 100 billion meals through Feed America and figuring out how long it'll take them to hit that one. And what's wild is I always look at him, he's done extraordinarily well in all facets of life. And I look at him as a range of possibilities of if you can start where he was and get to where he is. And he's not even done. He's only 62, or. What is it, 2004? 64. If you can get that far in life, then it just represents what's possible. And so I've always looked at him as representing possibility. What's possible, it's out there. If he can do it, I can do it. If one person can figure it out, you can figure it out. And so I've always looked at those three. Be determined to win, care way beyond just yourself, and know that it's possible if you really want to go for it.

Wow, that is. That's truly beautiful. And I love the fact that two of the mentors of the three are. Are women and. And servants with a heart. And then your dad, I. I haven't seen your dad in person in years. I mean, we. We have traveled in some of the same circles and have some of the same friends and do some of the same work. But, yeah, I was going to say he's absolutely not. Not done yet. So where he goes from here is amazing. But that said, you know, and I. I want to, in a moment, open it up for you to talk about what's really near and dear to your heart, instead of me just asking questions. But, you know, I grew up in Hollywood with a lot of celebrities, a lot of powerful people, and some of the children managed to flourish in spite of their parents, and others seem to, you know, flourish or don't flourish because they think they're their parents, children, you know, I mean, there's expectation is putting on. Put on people who come from others, who are doing things or who have fame or celebrity. And yet you've carved your own way and you're making your own mark, and you're doing remarkable work all around the world as your. As your own person. I understand that it's not in isolation, but. But you have. So how do you. How. How. What advice would you give to somebody, you know, who is. Or could come from a situation like yours? And of course, not everybody does, but.

Yeah, I learned that's no different. I went to school with kids who were from Oklahoma, and their parents happened to start from scratch and build the largest construction company in the city. And they had the same issues in a different way, clearly, a different part of the country. But then I went and lived in a village in Uganda, and I was teaching organic farming. And if you meet the Village chief, son or daughter, they have the same issue. It's just. It's something that happens regardless of where you are. It looks very different in different parts of the world. You know, I remember as a kid just observing all the different rank and file of how people fall into their position. And a lot of it has to do with psychology and the story you're telling yourself, where if you're telling yourself a story that because of this, life is always going to be that way, or because of this, life will never be that way, whatever story you're telling yourself, you're going to find a way to make it true for yourself. And so I looked at that story and, you know, I didn't have a story of being special that wasn't. I've had lots of people tell me that over the years, and I just kind of shrug and I'm like, well, I'm goofy. If you're calling me special for that, that's one thing. But I don't. I don't see it that way. I remember I was actually trying to figure out branding and marketing, and I. I spoke at a conference in Toronto, and Seth Godin happened to be speaking there. And I'm like, oh, this dude's like the king of branding and marketing. And I'd love to ask him, like, how would you do it? I mean, and so there's a backstory here. I wanted to get him on my podcast to interview him because I thought he was great. And I had a friend who worked with them on a major corporate campaign of advertising, and she knew his email, so she emailed him. She's like, don't worry, I'll get him on the show. And it turns out he actually reads his email personally. And she emailed him every single day asking for him to come on my behalf. I would not have done that. Sorry, Seth. And after, I don't know, 30, 40, 50 emails, he finally wrote back. He said, listen, I checked it out. I don't want to be rude, but I'm more papa bear, not baby bear, if you know what I mean. And she was like, he's rude. Like, she knew him, so she was upset because he wouldn't do it. And so I was like, I'll leave him alone. I'm not going to bug Seth. I think he's great. I love his books. I love his stuff. I'm not going to bug him. And so we're at the conference. I just arrived and I was speaking later. Seth was, like, about to go on stage, and my friend said, you got to meet him. He's going to love you. I was like, oh, I don't know if he's gonna love me. And she took me to the dressing room, and they knocked, and he came out and he says, hi. I was like, hey, first off, I'm gonna clear the air. I'm sorry. My friend emailed you a bazillion times. He goes, that's all right. May I help you? I said, I don't want anything from you. I just. My friend Teresa wanted to introduce me. I just wanted to say hi. Can't wait to hear you speak. He goes, great, See you there. I was like, okay, good. He's very cordial for the amount of time we bugged him, but went out, listen to his speech. It was wonderful. And I had done some research where I found out that his son actually works in his mailroom at one of his companies. I was like, well, that's interesting. The purple cow guy. Stand out. Be different. Have your own brand. Be unique. I was like, but his son worked for him. I'm like, that's normal. But I didn't expect it. I thought he would have taught his son to, like, be different. Stand out. Go do your own thing. And for whatever reason, that was a circumstance. So I remember after he was done speaking, he did Q and A. And I was like, oh, I got a question. And he, you know, he picked on me. He's like, yes, sir. And I said, if you were trying to help your son brand themselves in the marketplace to stand out, to be different, to be unique, what tips might you offer him? And he looked at me and he kind of smiled funny. And he said, I don't think this is anything to do with me or my son. I think this has everything to do with you and your circumstance. Young man, 50. 50. I kind of wanted to know what you'd say to your own son, but I'll take Seth advice on marketing and branding. I was like, sure, what about me? And he said something beautiful. He said, listen, I know you are. I've gone through all your stuff online, everything I could find. It's good. It's really good. He said, if you want to know what makes you different in the space that you're in, it's the fact that you care. He said, I could see it genuinely. All your videos, all your podcasts, all your blogs, everything you're doing, I can see that you genuinely care. That makes you very different in your space, because not everyone does. I was like, cool. And I remember being like, thanks, Seth. And I was so excited. And then I remember sitting there with my journal, trying to think like, how the heck do you write that on the front page of a website? I mean, if I went to a website and it said I care, I'd be like, bull. If you cared, you wouldn't have to tell me you care. I was like, that was the best worst marketing advice I ever got. I mean, it's probably great. I just don't know how to use it. And I laughed. And it was just one of those unique moments where having someone else give you feedback on what makes you uniquely you is always helpful. I got very lucky that my feedback came from someone I accidentally pestered or my team pestered. But he's one of the best in the world at giving that insight of looking at a brand and saying, well, what does make this brand different? And so he was gracious enough to peek at mine and look at everything we were up to. And he identified for me what made me different, what was my superpower? The fact that I genuinely care. And so if I were to pay forward any insight to others, I'd ask them to find someone who can give them an outside perspective on what their superpowers are. Wow.

I love that. And I love that. You know, what I. What I really love and I really appreciate is your dad is known for powerhouse stuff. Know, and I mean, he can do other things, but I mean, he's. He's really known for. For being somebody who kind of whoops up a crowd.

But.

But what I'm saying is, is that we're connecting here at such a human level, and, and your presence is powerful and yet caring and calm, and it's just really, you know, delightful to be here in your presence. It's. It's like you feel the energy through the screen, you know, kind of. And you've said so many wonderful things going, I'm going to go back and then come forward. You know, when I was talking about the Hollywood experiences and stuff, I was the poor kid and everybody else was celebrity sons. I didn't have a celebrity family. So I would be around these people who would complain because they go, well, you don't understand. I'm so. And so's kid, or I'm this and that and the other thing, or, or they want to see my dad or my mom, they don't want to see me. And I'm going, I'm just trying to get in too, you know, I mean, but I think I can do it. And you who have all of this stuff are complaining about what can't happen and why you don't get it and everything else. And so what I, what I appreciate is the fact that you said, you know, if. What story you tell yourself is really, really important, because if you're telling yourself you can't do it because of family or friends or circumstances or events in the world or because you're not skilled or talented enough or don't know enough, that has an incredible impact on, on us as people are, on you as a person. So the fact that you didn't let any of that stop you. And second, you know, you have, you have moved through major on mark, major on brewing, and then still went to someone like Seth Godin or some, you know, I mean, in other words, you're still curious and you're willing to, to go to people and have people give you advice. So I got a question, though. Is. Is. And, and I don't want to put you on the spot, but he still.

Hasn'T been on the podcast, if you were wondering.

No, no, I was gonna say. Can you say. Can I quote you on that?

Oh, no, I thought you were curious if you ever came on the show. I'm like, no, has not been on the show.

No, but, but no. I mean, in other words, when somebody says that in public about you and go. The difference between you and so many other people, Jarek, is that you care. I mean, that's like a quotable moment. I mean, I don't want. You, you, you don't want to do it gratuitously, but you want, you know, or obsequiously, but it is a public statement that someone made about you that I would think, you know, could be part of a quote or testimonial or bio thing or just.

Yeah, I didn't want to pester him anymore. I had moved on to the next one. I was not in the mood to be like, Seth, can I use that? I mean, he wouldn't come on the show. I doubt he would appreciate me quoting him. And, and I'm glad to share the story. And I, I don't know if he's. It's crossed paths with him yet, but that's just me recounting an event that happened in Toronto.

Yeah, but I'm glad that. I'm glad with your answer because you are demonstrating respect for other people. That's important for myself and, and the audience to understand that when you're dealing with people, you know, be respectful and, and if, if you're not getting through a certain way that you know, being a pest isn't really going to help anyone.

No.

So I appreciate that. I'm going to ask Danny if he has any questions. But before we even do that, I want to say it's jerichrobbins.com right. We can put that up so that everybody knows how to reach you. And, and I. So I'm. I'm loving this, Jerry. Appreciate it. Thank you. There we go. Yep.

Websites on the screen and, and what an amazing intro. What an interesting story. And I guess there's other stories that will come out throughout the, the duration of this conversation, but we talked about this story that people tell themselves. Right. And. And Rex has just touched on that. You've mentioned that. And you also mentioned being the best you can be. So is there a conflict? There is. I want to be the best. But I've got this story that I'm now telling myself and there's a bunch of people who might be in that kind of loop. I want to be the best. But there's this thing. What can folks do to kind of like unplug that thing and tell themselves a different story so they can be the best? That would be something that I'd. I'd certainly like to know.

Yeah. Though at that stage of consciousness, at that stage of life when someone's concerned with being the best, what they're really trying to answer the question is, is, am I enough? And it's a, it's a big question. It's a question that most people struggle with. If you want to know what comes before trying to be the best, it's often, do I have enough? Do I have enough, you know, to survive, to live? There's a lot of people around the world, especially right now, that are struggling with answering the question, do I have enough to just live the day to day life? I want to. They're a single parent who has a child and trying to work and trying to survive, trying to get groceries and have an apartment or a house and have a nanny. Like they're just trying to have enough. The second layer is once we feel like we have enough, meaning the foundation set, then we often go to am I loved enough? So I have enough to live the life I want to live, but am I loved enough? What does that mean? It starts with self love. Do you love yourself? Do you appreciate yourself? Do you honor yourself? And have you learned to have so much love from within that you can share it with others? Have you found other people to share that love and connection with? And then eventually the third layer, there's seven. But the third layer is, am I enough as a human being? Not have I done enough? Not have I accomplished enough? But the concept of am I enough? And so if people were thinking about that, it often reflects out in their life as accomplishment, achievement, trying to get the next thing and the next thing and the next thing. What someday they'll come across is a realization that if you're out there climbing mountains and you're scaling the next peak, and I don't care if it's Mount Fuji or Kilimanjaro or even Mount Everest, the big one, at some point, you realize when you've gotten to enough mountain peaks that there's only three things at the top of that mountain. A great view, thin air, a feeling of accomplishment, and I guess the fourth, a walk back down. That's it. And what happens is when someone finally gets satiated enough of climbing mountains, they no longer really sit there wondering if they're enough. They're proud of themselves because they've scaled the mountains, metaphorically, of whatever it is they're after in life. Most people spend a lot of time on their first mountain. And their first mountain is what I can get from life. So they're constantly trying to prove that they're enough because they've acquired. Acquired enough from life. At some point, not all of them, but at some point, life will kick you off that first mountain, and you land in this place called the Valley of Despair. Which sounds highly motivational and inspirational, but it's a. It's a moment where you question everything, where you say, you know, I've been going after these giant goals to. To figure out what enough is. And. And I've gone after one thing, and then I got to the peak of that mountain, and then I went after another thing. I got to the peak of that mountain, then I got to the peak of this mountain. And it's great. You know, I'm proud of myself. I feel accomplished. But it's just a great view, thin air, and feeling of accomplishment. That's really. That's it. No matter how many times I do it or how many places I do it. And then at some point, moment, either a tragedy happens that just kicks you off the side of the mountain, which I had one of those. I had a doctor tell me, because I had malaria, that I had six days left to live. That was something that kind of smacked me off the side of that first mountain. For other people, they just hit the peak so many times that it no longer does much of anything for them. And they Go through that valley, and some revert back to the first mountain, thinking, but if I just did this one other thing, then, then I'd be enough. But for others, they evolve, and they find something called the second mountain. And the second mountain is what I can give to life. And where the joy starts to come from is when you figured out you can scale a mountain. The real joy, if you've ever watched someone, isn't walking up the same mountain again, but it's watching the face of someone else who never thought it was possible for them to get to the top of that mountain. When you help guide them up that mountain, and you turn and watch their face for those final few steps, and you see their entire world light up, because they just realize what's possible for someone like them. And in that moment, you find that second mountain feeling, which is like, wow. I mean, it felt good getting the top myself, but this feels unbelievable. Helping someone else get to the top. This is really cool. And oftentimes, a new addiction forms where people then start to really get excited to bring others up that mountain. Usually after that, if you want a couple more layers of this stack, level four. After we figure out how to fulfill that feeling of being enough, then we usually question everything. People call it a midlife crisis, a transformation. It's where we sit down and we're like, okay, at five minutes old, I was given a religion, a tribe, a country, a citizenship. I was told what to believe and who I was meant to be. And all of a sudden, at some stage of life, when you realize you have enough, you are enough, and you're loved enough, you start to transform or have a moment of transformation where you kind of question everything. What am I doing? What is this all for? What was the point of this? Does any of this matter? Do I even care? Does anyone else even care? Who am I? What's really important to me? And what happens? There is a moment of transformation, clarity, where you figure out who you really are, what you're really made to do, and where you really want to go. From that stage, you go up one more level, which is level five, where you start living in alignment.

Your.

Your calendar starts matching your values. And when I say that for most people, I ask them what's most important to you, and they're like, well, you know, the important stuff. Like, no, what is the important stuff? And oftentimes, depending on where you are in the world, you're here, like, health, family, God, being a good person, working hard, making a difference, accomplishment, achievement, all these things, you go Great. Show me your calendar. Give me your calendar. And shade in the colors that represent those values. And for some reason, you see a calendar that just has this big red color of work shaded out in the majority of all the moments of all the days. And then somewhere above work and below work, and maybe for an hour in the middle of the day, you have one or two other colors called stuff I care about. Now I smile. I'm like, you're full of crap. You're telling me that's what's most important to you. And then your most precious resource, the one you can't get back, you can get money back, you can't get time back, your most precious resource, you invest into something other than what's most important to you. After transformation comes alignment, where people start to take their calendar, their most precious resource, and align it with everything actually what's most important to them. From there, it becomes community building. We, you know, you start seeking out others who've had this bold transformation who live in alignment with their values, and you try to create a tribe. And the final piece is contribution. How do you, how do you take what you've learned and experienced and just find a way to share it? Wow.

You know, I, I'm, I'm, I'm touched. And I am very pleased that you shared that. And Danny, thanks for asking the question, but I'm so pleased that you shared it. You know, I'm fairly critical of a lot of the people who are names today in the personal development or self improvement field because so often, first they talk about how bad circumstances are and how we need something in order to get through them. And then oftentimes it's, well, if you want to feel important, you have to work really, really, really hard and do all these things, to have all these status symbols and houses and the jewelry and everything else in order to be an important person or a successful person or fulfilled or happy person. And yet, as you know, and, and many of us who've been around people who are extremely successful, many of them are not fulfilled by pursuing all the things that they spent their entire life pursuing. They get to the top of the mountain, like you say, and it's a great view and maybe a sense of accomplishment, but there's, there's like, okay, now what? I'm here and I don't feel fulfilled and I'm not. And so what you have shared with us that I think is so beautiful and truly important is the idea that if you begin with the idea that you're fulfilled and your story is that you're fulfilled, then you will naturally do the right things or come along or understand that circumstances will provide ways for you to adjust so that you can transform, so that you have what you want. And in doing that, you understand also that it's not just about you having what you want, but contributing to others so that they too can have a better life. And like you said, money can come and go and everything else can come and go, but you can't get your time back. And yet so many people chase the destination without realizing that the way to the destination is all that we really have. But what you just shared is that if you're not right here, present in the moment, living a well lived life of, of harmony for yourself and others, and you know, what are you kind of like, what are you doing? And, and, and you do it in such a way that you're not, there's no fear mongering, there's, you know, you're not preaching, you're just sharing from your heart. And I really do appreciate that. So with that in mind, I do want to ask you if there's something that you want to say because we're in a situation where, you know, there's a limited amount of time and you know, you're in front of press or people a lot, you know, you question and, and as there is, you know, there's oftentimes people ask the same questions over and over again because it's kind of top of the brain. But there may be things that are truly also important to you that you want to share that no one thinks to ask. And I want to give you that opportunity if there's something that you really like people to know that they may not know or.

Nothing in particular. I spent a lot of time usually just asking questions with people. There was a time in my life when I had lots of stuff to say and I was trying to tell all my stuff to everybody else. But oftentimes I've learned to be just very curious. And luckily I've gathered lots of stuff that's helpful. And so everything I've shared, I've learned from somewhere, someone. None of it was me on a rock having an epiphany and a download like, oh my gosh, I finally got it. Me learning from other people and other books and resources and courses and classes and everything in between. And I do my best to just gather as much as I can. And my, my goal or one of my statements I make to myself is I'd hate to meet someone whose life or Business is on the line and I don't have anything that would help in that moment. And so my goal is to constantly be a collector and aggregator of everything I can get my hands on with the hope that if I do run into someone when it does matter, that it'll. It'll make it to them. Lucky. I've been lucky enough. I wrote a book and I had the dream of all authors to, you know, be the New York Times bestseller and have the, the international world renowned stuff go happen and all the millions of copies sold. And it launched and it did not do that. Not even close. I made myself feel better by realizing the average author only sells, I think, 1500 copies of their book ever. So I was like, okay, I did better than that. But I'm nowhere close to the numbers I was dreaming of. And I remember feeling a little let down of like, oh, I really thought this one would have done something special. I really put my heart and soul into it. And writing is not my greatest gift in life. So it took a lot of effort and I was proud of all the effort and time and energy went into doing it. And then I remember it went out and I was like, well, fail my way to success, you know, it went out, it sold a few, 10 something, 20,000 copies or something. And I was like, okay, better than the average, but nowhere close to what I dreamed of. And there was a few people, though, who just loved it, like it was their thing. They read it, they. They would always keep 10 copies on hand. So when they're, you know, moving through life, they'd run into someone, they're like, oh, you gotta read this one. And they just hand it out to people and they tell me, they're like, look. And they'd always text me or email me a little picture of their stack of books they always have sitting there at any moment they could give to someone. And I remember, I don't know, it was five, six years after I'd written it. Just a letter came in the mail and I opened it and the letter said, Dear Mr. Robbins, I wanted to thank you for the book you wrote, a little background. I'm an airman. I was deployed X amount of times. I'm, you know, currently back in the United States. I've been having horrible PTSD syndromes. And for the last week of my life, every night I've sat with my fireman, my mouth wanting to pull the trigger, not imagining I could live like this any longer. I talked to a chief master sergeant and they recommended I read your book. They gave me a copy. And I just wanted to write this letter and say thank you for the work you did, because it reminded me of the reason why I want to keep living beautiful. And I remember sitting down.

In.

Just thinking, wow. I had originally felt so disappointed about the results that I was measuring. And it was a stage of life where I was trying to figure out, am I enough? And then I remember reading that letter and instantly knowing if that's the only copy that was ever circulated and that's the only human who ever read it. And that was the purpose of three months of my life putting into something so that one person could get it at the moment they needed, with the message they needed. It was all worth it. And I remember sitting there and just realizing all the accolades I was trying to get or all the accomplishments or the checkboxes or the lists or the acknowledgments, and I was like, none of that is really what enough is. I was like, what if enough was just reaching the person who needs it most at the moment they need it with the message they need. And I said, I don't know who they are, where they are, what they're going through, but I hope what I share would find them at the exact moment they needed it.

Now that's, you know, truly amazing. And there's so many people out there who are resistant or reluctant or afraid to actually go forward with an idea or a book or a. A message, a podcast, something that's, like, deep inside of them, it's like this thing's screaming to get out. Right. But for some reasons, this resistance, what you've just said, shows the importance of allowing that to come out and facilitating that. Because if all that did is save one life, how many accolades do you need? Right. So what. What can we say to the folks who might be resistant based on what you've just shared with us? Because, yeah, there's ideas that are hiding inside of people that have got the potential to have such an impact. Maybe we could, like, guide that out.

What's.

What's the thinking around that?

Yeah. I tell them to write down three statements on a piece of paper. I have enough. I'm loved enough. I am enough. And then beside those statements, I asked them to write out what do they think needs to happen for those to be true. Because when they can fill up that foundational perspective and experience of self, then what I've noticed, and I don't know if it's everybody, but I've noticed a trend that most people, when they feel like they have enough. They are enough, and they're loved enough. The only thing they want to do is help other people feel that way.

That is so beautiful. You know, again, a great question, Danny, and wow, how powerful. I want to share something that, that helped me put some of, kind of what you're describing in perspective. I shared a story in a program one time, something that had happened to me, something that I had observed and very unique story and everything else. And I, I told it a lot in workshops. But many years later, I'm sitting actually on a bus stop in Los Angeles, and I sit next to this guy, and he's actually from Ukraine. I mean, I know there's stuff going on in the world right now, but he's from Ukraine. And he starts talking, and we were talking, and. And he starts to share this story. That's my story. And he said he had heard it from somebody in Ukraine. He just wanted to share while we were talking this, this incident that he had learned from someone. And it was. I mean, in spite of the fact that telephone game is always, you know, somehow this. The story gets perverted or just changed. This was almost verbatim. And I was like, oh, my God, this thing that I shared has gone all the way around the world and influenced people that I have no idea. But now I'm sitting in a bus stop hearing from a guy who said that this story had. Had impacted him. And I went, we have no idea our reach. You know, we. We want to, you know, sell lots of books or do lots of programs or make lots of cash or whatever. But if you impact one person, somebody very near and dear to me said, you can light a million candles off of one candle, but your candle has to be lit first. And, and that I just always remember is that in what you were saying is this person who's. Who's, you know, has his weapon in his mouth and not knowing what to do, his life has changed because someone said, hey, you know, read Jarek's book. And how could it be any better than that? You know what I mean? I mean, I just think that's so, so powerful and so incredible. I want to make a real quick segue, though, for a moment and say that if you're watching this live or in replay, please do leave comments. You know, you can always ask questions. Do reach out to Jared. He's got programs. We're going to talk about that in a moment, too. But if you're enjoying this, let, let he. And let Danny and I know that you're enjoying this. Because I sure am and I hope you are too. I know you are too.

So there's so many good comments. I'm picking up different sources. You'll kind of see me scanning around. Catherine is in the chat. That's better than a million copies. You said the life. Jordan's in the chat saying, 10 year old said, believe in yourself. There's loads of things being quoted back. Allison's in the palms in there. Just people astounded. So excited. So much good feedback coming through and it's, you know, an awesome group of leaders honored to break an arrow with my neck now from West a dynamite there. So if there's context around that, feel free. But there's so much, so much love pouring out right now. So many people excited to see this. It's a pleasure to, to have you on the show and thanks everybody. Keep the comments coming. We've talked a lot about being curious over the last few days and you mentioned it earlier and do you think that people are resistant to curiosity and they go about the life in a certain way or curiosity doesn't just come naturally? Talk to us a little bit about that.

No, I think someone said we have three brains. We have the, you know, a head brain, a heart brain and a gut brain. And they said, but most people only live from their head brain because they've had some trauma in their life that's disconnected them from their heart and their gut. I thought about that after I heard it and I said that's very true. It's observably true. Through people I've met and places I've been, just I've observed that. And for most people when, when you hear this, they're afraid. They have fear. It's often they haven't learned how to trust that inner guide. They haven't learned how to listen to that gut brain and that heart brain. And because they've never learned to listen to it, they don't know that they have one of the most advanced operating systems or steering systems on earth already built in. So much so I remember I was doing some training for the special operators in the Air Force and I went and they put me through a day and a half of their training in return for some of my training. It was a trade and it was cool. I got to shoot all their guns, which were super cool. They put me in some of their vehicles and drove me around. They, they, one of the funnest parts was they tied me up and threw me in the pool and taught me how to drown proof myself and I had to learn their swimming techniques and all kinds of stuff and really, really a wonderful humans. And one of the things that. That happened there was just. Well, there's two parts. Something just sprung into my head. Realizing the sacrifice these people make was unclear to me before I had gone there. But the concept of. I remember sitting with their training commander and he showed me this board that had all their names of who was active deploying right now. And they had them in yellow, red and green colors. And they said, when they come back, we have them do a psychological evaluation, a physical evaluation, an emotional evaluation, a physical evaluation, everything. And then they get rated by all the doctors and performance specialists and coaches and all the people they talk with on either green, yellow, or red. And then we have certain protocols and systems set up and processes set up to nurture them back in the green. And he said something next that kind of broke my heart. He said, the problem is no matter how many times we get them back to green, they'll never be the same shade of green ever again in their life. I was like, wow, like, these people are willing to give up a part of themselves forever in this process. And I looked at that, I was like, that's eye opening this for me. Heartbreaking of just thinking, wow, this person's giving up layers of themselves. And I've also noticed this in. In motherhood. Totally different, you know, situation in life, but just as intense, where if you watch moms, for some reason, these people are willing to give up sleep, give up sanity at some level, give up their body, give up all these parts so that this child can have the opportunity to have this great life. And I looked at it and I was like, wow, the human spirit is incredible. Of service to others willing to go through all this so that someone or something else has the chance at a better life, whether it's protecting it or nurturing it and growing it. But what was interesting is where does that disconnect happen? At what point, what trauma showed up that caused someone to lose or be detached from that gut brain or from that heart brain, from those instincts. One of the neat things I saw when we were there is we got to sit in some of their simulators and see how they train them and all their stuff. And one of the cool pieces, the gear I saw, because I was just fascinated by it, was the pilots had this little thing that went under their tongue. I was like, what is that? That's weird. And they said, oh, that's a sensor that's under the tongue. So that if the body Senses fear, the saliva amount changes and the plane will automatically bank. I was like, that's wild. And I said, what would cause that? They're like, well, let's say you're a fighter jet pilot. Your nervous system will know a missile's been fired at you long before your brain ever has a chance to cognitively process it. And if we wait for the pilot's brain to realize what's going on, they'll be dead. So we created this sensor that as soon as the body emits a fear response, the plane will automatically bank out of the way. I think that's incredible. And so when you talk about fear, fear is an incredible signal coming from our nervous system that's speaking very loudly to us. But most of us don't know how to use it and don't understand why it's there. Therefore, we allow it to. When it pops up, we go, oh, not today. And just walk away from something instead of, ah, what is this telling me? In the pilot's case, it's warning them that something dangerous is coming and it helps them move out of the way. For most people though, I just saw a quote that made me laugh. It said it was just someone making a comment. It's like, I wish my nervous system would realize that fight or flight is should be applied in a life or death situation. Not responding to an email, I started laughing. I said, what's funny is nowadays people have fight, flight, fallen or freeze show up when an email pops up or a text message comes through, or they see someone's name pop up on their phone and they're like. And they freak out. And so there's a lot of work to be done there. It's one of my favorite pieces of work to do with people at Somatic, where you figure out what is the stimulus that's causing the response and you have to cognitively do a little work on is this an accurate response for what's actually happening? Most of the time it's not. And then we gotta say, okay, what's the work we need to do? 1, it could be, what's the trauma that needs to heal? One of my friends shared with me the other week, she said, healing happens automatically in the presence of an empathetic other. And I said, that's a very powerful phrase. I said, what does that mean? She goes, so often people are in the healing spaces or healing fields and they think they have to do something to heal another person. The reality is healing happens automatically in the presence of an empathetic other, meaning you don't have to do anything. You just have to have empathy and be present and hold space and the healing will happen automatically. The body is an incredible mechanism that knows exactly what to do. I said, that is really powerful to think about because for all of us who are trying to help people and we think we have to do something or say something, it's like, no, you don't. You have to hold space and be able to be empathetic and listen, and it's very powerful. And so healing happens in the presence of an empathetic other. And so helping figure out what needs to happen so that people have the space in their life to hold space for other people. I always draw a circle and I shade it in and I shade self, work, kids, life, money, sports, books, learning, whatever else you're into. And I fill up all the space. And I say, the reason that people are struggling with healing is because all the people around us are filling all of their space with all this stuff. I said, what would happen if all of us chose to carve a little bit of that space just to help others heal? And you don't have to do anything. You just have to be willing to share that space for a moment and healing will happen automatically.

That is so beautiful. You know, there's been studies done in, in, you know, with mirror neurons and being in the presence of a. Of a role model, like learning golfing or swimming or something, and, and watching them in, in their presence, as opposed to a video, but even with video, but being in their presence and watching them, we, you know, we resonate. We go through the micro muscle movements, you know, that they go through. And that's just a minor example of what you're talking about with holding space and being available for another person. And you don't have to talk and you don't have to do anything but be authentic, you know, and allow people to be who they are. I want to ask because I. It came to mind, you know, almost 100 years ago, Napoleon Hill wrote, you know, laws of Success and of course, think and Grow Rich. And he's got two stories in the book essentially about what came to be known as the placebo effect. And one story is about a gentleman who's. Who's doing some things that aren't very good. And he gets caught and they, they take him off and he goes, this will be the death of me. This will be the death of me. This will be the death of me. And he ends up dying. Anecdotal, of course, but. But that he ends up Dying. And another gentleman that Hill writes about is a guy who's on his last moments, and they all go, he's gonna die. He's, you know, then they rush him into the hospital. He says, I'll see you in a little bit. And of course he survives. And we've started with talking about the stories that, that we tell ourselves or the beliefs that we have about ourselves and what we're capable of, we're not capable of. And when we talk about trauma and we talk about something, some people seem to carry trauma around or they believe it's in their body, or they believe, you know, whatever the, whatever the reason for it is. And then there are those who go, yeah, that happened to me, and it's done. You know, I mean, in other words, we could argue that, well, for different people, different things occur. Or it could be that maybe there's a mechanism of releasing and letting go and, and being in the presence of a healer without any, you know, activity going on, but just that connection and that resonance allows people to, to heal. You know, when you said they will never be the same shade of green, that certainly could be true. Or maybe they will be the same shade of green or a different, but more. I don't want to say improve, but, but because they release what's there, their shade of green is now perfect for them. And what do you, what do you. What would you say to those people who are encountering or facing those kinds of difficulties? Because you've said so many beautiful things and I think, I think it's very powerful.

Sure. Well, there's, there's research about this. And so I certainly believe in the power of mindset and belief and all those pieces. And there's research with women, specifically, where there was a group working with type A, extremely high achievement focused women. And to give an example of what would classify, it's a woman who is a mother of four, married, and a wife who built a $30 million a year corporation with 15 plus employees that she ran as the CEO and then on Thursday she'd moonlight as a emergency ER doctor to keep her medical skills up. So extremely driven, doing it all. And not like, oh, I have, you know, nannies with my kids. Like, she was there with the kids and at the work and at the ER and with the husband, like she was doing everything. And what they found out was, if you think of this concept of three circles, there's that comfort zone in the middle, there's a growth zone that exists, and then there's a breaking zone. And what I have observed is the longer you stay in the growth zone, the further out the breaking zone gets. But it's a bit of a game where you have to learn how to operate in the edge of that growth zone without crossing the braking zone. And when you can do that, you expand what you're capable of. And so like, there's tactical breathing, which is a, you know, 3163 seconds in, hold for one, out for six, hold for zero, repeat, 3160. But you don't practice that when you're in chaos. You practice that when you're going for a walk in the morning and you're eating breakfast and you're learning and you're doing everything else. And the goal is, can you build that practice in your nervous system so that under stress and you don't fall the level of what you want, you follow the level of what you've practiced. And so when you fall the level of 3160, that's supposed to be the default breathwork you fall into, which allows the world to slow down you to see clearly and operate under a place of stability, calmness, and focus. What's wild that I learned. You mentioned the beginning. My dad's very high energy and excitement. And so I was expecting when I met the Navy seals who's former clients of mine, or the special operators in the Air Force or the pararescue jumpers, I always admit these are elite. They're the best, they're the most extreme. I was expecting them to be high energy. And I've never met calmer people in my entire life. They're all stoically calm at all times. And one of my friends, he's a former client and a friend, he wrote a whole book on fear and the mind and calm. And he used to train the snipers for the Navy SEALs. And one of the analogies he gives is, he says, you know, during training you can only miss once, and then you're out of training. And so each morning you, they wake you up at a random time, they give you a random location with a random target, and you might be three miles away or five miles away, you don't know. And you wake up at 2 in the morning, you're only allowed to take one shot, meaning you can't calibrate your rifle. You get one shot, and you have to get there and hit that shot by a certain time or you're out. And so he said there's this moment where you wake up and if you sprint there, your heart's going to be going a million miles an hour, and it's going to be very hard to focus because your breath is just going. If you walk slowly, then you won't have a lot of time to set up and calibrate properly. So you're just going to have to set up quickly and shoot. And he said, so every person has to gauge how quickly am I going to move versus how much time I'm going to take to set up to properly be able to hit the shot. And he said, that's an equation every person does a little bit differently. We all have to find our difference of how much time do we need to prepare versus how much time we need to get there to still be able to execute and hit it as intended. And so that thought becomes a practice of, can you set up the right rhythms in your life that if you want to go after and accomplish a very specific and finite target, that you put the right things in place to prepare yourself to be there? But this is where all of us are unique. Some of us will choose to run there and then do some breath work to calm and then shoot. Others of us will choose to walk there and then calibrate quickly and fire. All of us have a different pattern. Coming back to something we said earlier, I love doing that work, that when something comes up, whether it's fear or pain or the past, how do you help people heal that so that's not something they're fiddling with when they're trying to execute. How do you help people work through that? Coming back one more layer to the growth zone versus breaking zone. So let's say the first time you went to do this exercise, you know, it took you five minutes to pull it off. If you did round two, can you do it in four minutes and 57 seconds? Can you shave off one or two seconds each round? For most people, we try to take these giant strides and these giant leaps of improvement. And we don't realize if we did it for 100 days and every day we just shaved off one second, at some point we will find the true breaking zone, the edge of what's possible. And you can call that a plateau, you can call that the break zone. You'll find a point in which no matter how hard you go or how creative you are or how much effort you put in, that's the current, Max. And I use the word current because currently that's as fast as far and as quick you can get it done. At some point with practice, over time, you'll get to A point where, ah, that max has now gotten better. I have a new workout device I have and the first day I got it, I gave all out effort, everything I had to do a 2000 meter sprint and it took me 13 minutes and 50 something seconds. Day two, it take me 10 minutes and something. Day three, it took me nine minutes and something. Today that takes me seven minutes and 41 seconds. And it's not because I magically got more skilled. It's because I was willing to find my edge over and over and over and over again. And every day it gets just a little bit better than the day before. And the key is for improvement. I found out I don't have to go 10 times faster than the day before. All I have to do is maintain one second quicker on each 500 meters and I'll get the best I've ever gotten. And so it's a micro adjustment in the right direction, maintained over periods of time where all of a sudden massive results show up.

Beautiful. Very beautiful. Jerrick, I want to be very respectful of your time and simply say I'd love to do this again when you're available and we can do that, but you have something that you'd like to share or something coming up or things that people know, you know, want to know about in terms of how they can can get to you and get in your presence and be around you or study with you or they're welcome to go online.

We train some of the the world's best performance coaches through Performance Coach University. Going back to, you know, at a stage of my life when I wanted to be enough, I was the one who wanted to be doing the work to show people what difference I could make in their lives. I've hit a stage in life where I no longer measure our success by my own client testimonials. I now measure our success by our coaches out there in the world with their own coaching business and their client testimonials to know if we've really beat, you know, built out great coaches and great leaders. And so one of my great prides is getting emails from our coaches saying, hey, I just got this from my client. Look, look at what I did for them. Look, look at the difference I made. And I'm so proud. We have hundreds of them all over the world who are doing incredible work with some really wonderful people out there.

Well, right there, you know, you have stood head and shoulders over many because some people want lots of followers so that they are at the pinnacle and the followers continue to follow and Other people, like many parents, want their children to do better than they do. And. And you want the people who you've helped or to treat, taught or coach to be. Not just stand on your shoulders, but to do. To go further than you or I could ever go or any of us could ever go alone. Because it's like people who run a regular race, you know, they hand off the baton and somebody else runs it in and. But yet they both win when that happens. So that's really cool. That's very powerful. And what you're doing is helping transform the world, you know, and people, by people. If you only do it one person at a time, who reads your book is still successful. That's. That's truly, truly wonderful.

That's right.

So cool.

Danny, you want to say something?

Just. Just so many great takeaways from that and so many folks who are repeating and getting on board. Multiple people sharing the same comments and the same points that you've made. And Jericho, it's been a pleasure to have you on, obviously, mindful of time, and we are over. Maybe we can do it again. It's been a lot of fun and we've put the website up a few times and it's so amazing to hear the stories, hear the journey, and to see how you go the extra mile for other people. So for me, a pleasure. Any closing remarks? Anything else? Because what a show.

No, thank you. Thank you for having me. It was great to be here.

Great to have you here. So thank you. We'll close out the show. We'll see you in just a moment. And. And everybody, if you're enjoying this, do share it out. Continue to leave comments in the chat room while we're live, but also in replay. Thank you. Thank you.

Thanks so much, everybody. Jared, pleasure. We'll see everybody next.