It's Time to Flarp...

Unless we need to cut it out, we're not cutting it out.

What? Just straight running?

Yeah, it's raw, authentic.

Wait, are you serious?

This is the Howdy Podcast. Carly, welcome.

Hi. Hi.

Are you nervous? A little.

Should I raise this? I feel normally I'm pretty short.

You can, just a little bit. How does it sound, Mike?

Oh, do I not need to? You can bring it closer to you.

Yeah, you can pull it up a little bit.

And how does one do that? Oh, oh, it just takes a little—

yeah, a little oomph. Little, little oomph on my little skinny Amazon table.

I thought it was TJ Maxx.

It's starting to strain.

If you, uh, want to donate a table, my Venmo will be in the show handle. Is that what's called show notes? Sorry, I'm new to this podcast.

Credits? No.

Welcome to the Howdy Podcast.

Thanks for having me, Darren.

Glad to have you. So I hear you are into coffee.

Love it. Good stuff. I am.

So for those of all of my thousands of listeners, what do you do?

Like, so, um, I've got a mobile coffee bar. So not a coffee shop.

Okay.

You don't have a brick and mortar.

Okay.

We have a trailer. It's kind of retro style. It was custom built. A company in Nashville, Tennessee makes them out, AeroBuilt.

Wow.

So that was made in 2020. And then in this past summer, we built out a coffee cart. So that's also used for catering events indoors. So we're just basically coffee shop on wheels. We go anywhere the people are.

So do you have a like a personal favorite coffee drink, or?

I am boring. I really like just like classic black coffee, but we live in Texas, so people love sugar, and so we sell a lot of that.

Okay, so if you were in the mountains for 3 days with no cell service and you had to go hunt— I mean, not hunt, hunt, gather your beans Do you know what kind of beans you would try to gather?

I'd have to be like in Costa Rica or something.

Okay, okay, fine, we'll be in Costa Rica.

I would not know where to begin, so I'm gonna leave that to the pros.

But I thought you were the pro.

You got a good point, great point there.

I'm just kidding, she's a pro, guys. She actually served coffee at our wedding. Oh yeah, me and Katie. Good time.

They trusted me. Yeah, before we had the carts, we were just like shambly setting up on tables.

Yeah.

So, okay, so why did you choose the coffee business?

It's just been the dream. Like, I worked in coffee shops in high school and in college. Always just loved it. Loved the atmosphere. Loved just, I don't know. And people made fun of me in college. They were like, what are you going to do as your career? And I'm like, well, I don't know. I just want to have a coffee shop someday, which seemed like really far-fetched and like wasn't something that could be really profitable or anything like that. And this kind of just fell in my lap and felt like it was the right thing.

So have you ever thought about serving the beans as a snack?

Like chocolate-covered espresso beans, maybe? I've had kids ask if they could just eat them straight up.

Is that what you eat for breakfast?

I mean, meal of a champion, for sure.

Coffee beans?

For sure.

Okay, so we always like to do games with our guests.

Okay.

And this is more of a challenge more than a game.

I see some weird stuff going on over there, so—

So there's this paper sack, for those of you who can't see, with some straws sticking out of it, and Carly's been like, "What the heck is that?" Well, they're covered, so like I can't see what's going on. So we're actually gonna do a challenge. Can you guess the challenge?

I hope it's not some nasty beverages.

She doesn't know.

Or oat milk. Can't do that.

So it's tradition on the Howdy Podcast to have these drinks. Um, if you smell anything weird, don't be alarmed, it's just the sulfur.

Yum.

I'm just kidding. Okay, I'm gonna bring these drinks out here and I'm gonna set them just, I guess, right in front of you where they can see it. I just thought of this. She can see this on the screen.

I won't look, like, trust me, I guess.

Okay, okay, you gotta close your eyes.

Oh, okay. Why? Because you mean that's gonna like turn around and then I could see it on this?

Yeah. So, oh, okay, that's open.

All right, close my eyes now. Is it like a guessing game? Am I guessing?

Okay, okay, okay.

I won't look at the screen.

Don't look at the screen. Okay, so this is gonna— I guess it's called which one is coffee. So you're gonna have to guess which one is coffee.

Did you make the coffee?

You just kind of guess which one tastes like coffee. Don't look at the screen.

Okay, I'm not. Okay, I'm so bad at these.

You have to lean forward.

Oh, that's like—

yeah, these chairs are sinkers. He really Oh my God, you really have me reclining here.

Oh, okay.

Oh, bendy straws! I love bendy straws. Okay, so I guess just left to right.

All right, all right, we're going left to right. You kind of got a glimpse of the drinks, so go ahead and start on the left. And so before you drink it, just be thinking, is this coffee or is this not coffee? And you're just gonna say, this is not coffee, or this is coffee. Okay, why do you look so nervous?

Because, I mean, you could put some funky stuff in this.

I'm not gonna kill it.

Is there a barf bag somewhere?

I mean, we could find one. Mike, can you get us a barf bag? Also, can you put some smoke in the room when you get a second, please? So tradition here, tradition here on Howdy Podcast is we bully Michael. So, oh, if there's, if there's anything, if there's anything that you've been like holding in—

there's the sulfur—

if you've been like angry at all and like just wanted to just like lash out on somebody, now's your time. Okay, to Michael.

For Michael. Yeah, yeah. Okay, let's get this, uh, all right, taste test is beginning.

Go ahead and taste that first drink.

Not coffee, I hope.

Okay, what is it?

Water.

Okay.

Water with zero fizz. Super flat.

Okay.

All right.

Now I'm feeling good about that. Thanks, Aaron. That was sweet. That wasn't—

That was a good one.

Okay. Definitely not coffee.

Okay.

What is it?

Juicy.

Wow.

I don't know what.

Is it carbonated or uncarbonated?

No, very flat still. It's got to be maybe like a Capri Sun or something.

Okay. Okay.

Moving on.

Capri Sun's your final guess. Oh, there's also money on the line. I just want you to know that.

Shoot. This was not prefaced. Yeah, I don't know. I'm going to have to go back. Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Oh, some fizz there. Has to be Plexus. No.

Is that your final guess? I'm not telling you whether you're right or wrong.

Something like—

is it coffee?

Not coffee.

That's what you think.

No way that's coffee. It's got a fruity flavor and like, like fake artificial sweetener for sure.

Fair enough. All right.

Okay.

Please. Oh my God.

Oh, that is coffee flavored. I don't know that it's like coffee, but it's—

so you think it's coffee?

There, there's an essence of coffee. It's trying to be.

Okay. Um, okay, so guess what brand. If you think it's coffee, guess what brand.

Is it a Starbucks creamer?

Just can't— is that your final guess? A creamer? You think it's a creamer?

Yeah, it's like very creamy, fake-tasting.

So you don't think there's any coffee in there?

It's got a hint of coffee flavor to it. Like, but like fake coffee.

It's not like—

folks, she is a pro. Should we reveal?

Yeah, let us know.

Mike, can you come reveal this for us? Just, just put it right here in the middle. Hurry up, Mike. Also, I made a rule for you with the mask. Can you please follow that rule?

Can I look at the screen yet?

All right, let's go ahead and look at the screen. The results are in. What do we have here? Okay, first off, we got some water.

Flat water.

You were correct. Round of applause, everybody.

Yeah.

All right, second drink in there. It's kind of hard to see, but it is Simply Lemonade.

What did I say?

Capri Sun.

Oh my gosh, I'm terrible.

Good job, everyone. Good job. Good job for that. All right, the next one—

I love Celsius.

It is fruit. It's like a fruit punch flavor. I don't know what it says.

Okay, so that's where I was getting the Capri Sun. Okay, fruity.

So what was your guess on that one? Spark?

Yeah, I thought it was like a Plexus. Yeah, energy drink of some kind.

Okay, and the last one was— it's actually a vanilla Starbucks Frappuccino. Is it a Frappuccino? A latte, I guess.

Like the canned ones you get? Like the glass bottle? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

At room temperature. Yeah, they tried to throw you off with the room.

I rest my case, not real coffee.

Yeah, yeah, you heard it first. Heard it first here.

You know, you know, you know.

Well, thanks for playing the game.

Absolutely. Thanks for not putting any like funky stuff up in there. I don't know why I was ready for something like peanut butter flavored or something, which was going to make me gag.

So I don't know why you were so nervous. Oh, Mike, here, I forgot. Oh yeah, they're sponsoring us, so you gotta—

oh dang, that's big time.

We don't have enough followers yet, or money, or— all right, so this game, this is game number 2. We each get one shot.

Oh, I'm doing— okay. My inner Katniss Everdeen.

My baby by myself?

Right.

Okay, so we have this bow and arrow. So we're actually gonna try and hit that camera right there. The one I'm pointing at.

Gotcha.

The middle. So I'll let you go first.

Wait, a little form coach me up?

I don't know. You just, it's pretty simple, Carly. This is 3 years and up.

Okay. All right, give it to me.

Bon arrow. Mike, Mike, can you give us some more smoke before we do this, please?

Yeah, I'm really— that would help.

We actually can't show the logo because they're not sponsoring us. Okay, Mike. Okay.

Oh, thank you. Okay. Maybe like—

all right, first attempt.

Oh wait, oh, cut it back.

Since you're the guest, I'll give you another one. I'll give you another chance. I feel like if you hit the camera, I'm just letting you know, you win $100.

If I could scoot up a little, we'd be good.

Um, that was not the rules, but Okay, the prize is now $35. Okay, you won $0.

These aren't— is this actually made for this like you think?

Is this a joke?

It's regulation. Okay, I'm a 3-time world champion.

Let's see what you've got. Let's see what you've got, Darren.

If I hit this, you owe me free coffee for life. Ooh, I just hit Michael in the cojones.

Cojones. Oh boy.

All right, since you got 2 shots, I get 2 shots.

I don't know if that should be allowed. Is Michael—

this is my show. All right, Mike. See, I'm a hunter. I'm a master hunter. So this is why I know how to do it.

Oh wow. I feel like this is how you spend most of your time.

People think that we edit videos. We just shoot—

no, this is raw—

arrows.

Y'all got to see me flop on raw.

Okay, we're gonna do one more thing before we get to the coffee.

Okay.

Um, Reach back here.

It's been a minute.

It's been a minute. How long has it been since you've flarped? Since you've flarped?

Oh, I mean, too long, really.

What flavor do you have?

There's flavors?

Yeah.

Oh.

So, so here at Howdy Podcast, we like to change things up. So normally, normally you like flarp it. Today we're gonna eat it. Oh, so you got lemon lime flavor.

I can't even do this right. Here we go.

I'm just kidding, we're not eating it.

Oh, okay.

We're gonna have a flarp off, okay? We each get 3 flarps. Okay.

Oh, this is game time.

Jess, go first. Put it nice and close to them.

Good one.

Wasn't he good? All right.

Yeah, weak. If you're here for the ASMR, wasn't it?

That was a bad flarp. All right, flarp 2.

Count me down.

Flarp number 2 in 3, 2, 1. Ooh, that was juicy. Do you ever make that sound when you're making coffee?

Don't ask me that, please.

Have you ever spit in anybody's coffee?

Been tempted.

Why didn't you? What'd they do to you to make you want to spit in their coffee?

Stop, cut it.

This is live, raw, unedited. We're not cutting.

You know what, really, we have, uh, we have great customers. Never deal with any dudes, you know.

So, but you just said you've wanted to.

Um, it's probably— it was probably me just having an off day, not as much them, you know, just that inner rebellion.

Sure.

Okay, do I get my third?

Okay, let's just change the topic.

Third.

Flarp.

Can't call anybody out.

Wait, did I get my second one?

Yeah, it was weak.

Okay, I thought my flirt was—

yeah, it backfired for me.

Flirt number 3. 3, 2, 1.

Over 3. Oh, nice.

All right, got it in there. Well, since we're all winners here at the Howdy Podcast Now, Flarp is our sponsor, so we actually are sponsored by Flarp and Ja Rule. Shout out to Flarp.

Yeah.

All right, well, um, some coffee. Let's go, let's go make some coffee. Deal. All right guys, let's freaking go. Let's make some coffee. Carly, what do we, what do we have here?

We got the beans. Time to spill them.

Okay, you want me to spill the beans?

Yeah, put them in this hopper right here and just kind of fill it up.

How much beans?

I'll tell you when to stop.

What does peligro mean?

Danger in Spanish. Oh, don't think too hard. Go get the mic up. Keep going.

Is that enough?

No, no, no, just—

yeah, keep going.

This podcast is going to be—

okay, okay, okay, how many?

Keep going.

That's a lot of beans.

That's okay, it's for the aesthetic. We got to lift, you know, we got to fill up the hot dog.

You know, if I ate that many of, uh, ranch-style beans like that Bad news. Smell a little bit worse than coffee beans, I'll tell you that.

Spicy for sure.

More beans.

I just really think you can do this. You're really capable. There you go.

Where do you get your beans from?

Oh, give them a little shout out.

Or do you want to give them a shout out, or is this, is this a paid thing only? I mean, hey, hey, you know, yep. Scratch it.

Scratch it.

Got to pay for that.

Okay.

Yeah.

All right.

What do we got?

No free advertising around here. Okay, so we are going to pull a double shot of espresso. Okay.

Okay.

So 2. Hey, preset.

Okay.

So you do all of this on your truck?

This is actually the equipment that we use for the—

Not a truck, trailer. Sorry, you have a cart and a trailer.

Not a food truck. Yeah, okay, coffee trailer. Okay, so, um, or if you want to be fancy, mobile coffee bar, I guess. Um, but this is actually the setup that we use on our cart, which is the indoor.

Got it, for like weddings, for like—

yeah, more kind of— I mean, it doesn't really matter the event, just anything inside.

Okay.

Um, I'm gonna guesstimate that we need a little more.

Uh, so do you go— what are some places you like go set up at? Pretty like, like a regular, like one that you go every week or like every other week?

We do majority private event booking, so I would say like honestly 90% of our events are not consistent, like pop-up style kind of things where we sell individually.

Okay.

Um, the only place that we go regularly is Dyess Air Force Base, which is still, you know, not open to the public. But so we're kind of hard to find.

But do you get asked on a lot of dates at Dice?

Oh, a lot is a strong—

tons?

No, there's some nice people out there. Um, but the assumption is that it's mostly men, but it's actually not. We serve plenty of women.

Okay.

And these are terrible shots, Darren. What did you do? Listen, okay, we're not doing that. Uh, yeah, no, not lots of dates. A lot of the— a lot of them are married, which is awesome.

Hey man, this is the raw, authentic part of owning a coffee business.

Yeah, this is it.

BTS.

What?

BTS.

So what do you like to drink? What kind of coffee? Like, what are we making for you today?

Well, I was thinking we could make up a new drink for the Howdy Podcast.

Oh, you're trying to get on some signature stuff.

Yeah, trying to get on some signature stuff.

Okay, okay.

I can get one of those.

So what would that take? How much money do I have to pay you?

Oh, I mean, I have to really stew on that.

How much money do I have to pay you to put my face on your coffee sleeves?

Oh, you know what's a thing? 3D printing on lattes. Have you seen that? Latte art?

They have like these printers now that like you can put I didn't make it.

Logos and everything on.

So if anybody wants to donate to that cause, I would love to get one. So do you use 3D-printed coffee beans?

You're thinking ahead of the game right there. I have not figured that out. Definitely much still have a roaster, but—

That's what I'd say. You better not steal that idea.

Yeah, that's— that is futuristic for sure.

So who's your favorite employee?

Oh, I have an OG that I will definitely shout out.

Okay.

You know her.

I don't know. I just met you.

Mary Rachel Young. Oh, that's my girl. She works like—

Is she the only one who helps you?

No, we've got a few others.

So she's your favorite though?

But she's, she's the main.

So you don't like the other ones?

Love them. Love them. But, you know, She's my go-to.

So does she make the best— does she make better coffee than you?

Yeah, she does everything better than me. I mean, genuinely.

Dang.

She should basically just run this whole operation.

Has she thought about buying the business from you?

Ooh, I don't know. She might be scheming that. I, I— we haven't talked about it, but I don't think I'm selling.

Maybe you should work for her.

She'd be a great boss. Okay, we got shots, Darren. So what are we doing with shots?

We're chugging it.

This is— well, I guess I can show the people.

Mike, you got to come chug it.

Got a nice layer of crema.

Mike, can we get some smoke? Please.

Dramatic effect. It's dead.

Okay, well, Mike broke it again, so sick. Yeah, one more strike and you're gone.

Okay, so we're creating a signature one, right? For you guys? Sure.

Yeah.

So—

So what do you have? What kind of flavor? Okay, there we— thank you.

There it is.

Thank you, Mike.

Big time.

How are you supposed to run a podcast studio and not have smoke on standby?

Yeah, that'd be super lame. Uh, so typically we have a pretty small menu, not a ton of flavors. Um— But, uh, you could create a combination of flavors that could work really well for Abby.

Okay.

So I brought a few options today.

Okay.

Um, out of what we already have.

Okay.

I said our top seller is our brown sugar cinnamon breve latte.

Okay.

Okay.

That sounds pretty good.

I brought stuff to make that today, but we don't have to do that, um, because you're wanting to create something custom.

Yeah.

Okay, okay. So I also brought some caramel.

Okay, sure, let's add it.

Caramel is a great go-to. So I mean, a combination of that could be quite the howdy.

Howdy.

Let's do that.

So.

Man. Yeah, lots of that. Lots of that caramel. Texans love their caramel, all right.

Can you show, what do I need to? Can you show this camera? What it looks like. Wow, look at that caramel drizzle.

Okay, we're just gonna eyeball that, and then I say we cross it with some brown sugar.

So, so would you say this is better than McDonald's coffee? Because I love me a McDonald's coffee.

I will say there is something, something special about that, but I would say this has to have No offense to Ronald McDonald.

I don't know, McDonald's is pretty good.

Yeah. Okay, we got some couple scoops of brown sugar in there too. You want to show them that?

Yeah.

I mean, we're real deal.

Got some lard.

And you said caramel brown sugar, right?

Yeah, yeah, that sounds good.

I would kind of say it would make it almost like, um, Caramel brûlée.

Okay, caramel brûlée.

Sounds fancier than we really are, but we love it. Okay, we got our shot in there. Okay, give that a little swirl, would you?

A little swirly swirl. Oh yeah.

Oh, and then you might want to give it a little stir stir as well. Okay, I make sure everything's a little mixed in there.

Milk.

So who do you think has the best coffee in town?

Come on, come on, don't do that to me.

I'd put you probably at like number 4.

I better ask you because I know, I know you're a connoisseur. I know you're hopping around.

I'd probably put you like 4 or 5.

I'll remember this. No, um, we're about to steam. You ready for that?

We're gonna what?

So you have to steam Oh, okay, the milk.

Let's do it. Steam that milk.

So, um, I don't know if you want me to coach you through this or you just want me to do it.

Just steam it.

Okay, deal.

Thanks.

Finally. Yeah, finally you're doing what I pay you to do.

Not used to working in these conditions.

Carly, I just, I didn't really mean that earlier when I said you were 4th or 5th.

Oh, well, thanks, Darren. We're about to really put it to the test right now with this Howdy Latte. I don't hear any other shops that are making any of these things.

Exactly.

So I mean, you better—

Guys, this will, this, okay, this may be on the menu after this podcast.

Yeah, he didn't ask.

Yeah.

We should chat about that. But yeah, no, I'm game. Okay, so howdy latte coming in hot. Let's see if I still have it.

I don't know. Can you make a cowboy hat?

Oh, you're too late. I need the 3D printer.

Okay.

Wow. And you might be the first to taste it.

Oh my goodness.

Should we show the people?

Show that camera right there. Just hold it like right, right there.

Right here.

Can you see it, Mike?

How's it looking?

Not in focus. Oh, not in focus.

No.

Oh yeah. Oh no, I got you.

I got you. Hold on, move it up just a little bit.

Up.

Yep, to your left.

Lift.

Nice.

There we go.

How's that?

Beautiful.

Oh, that's the howdy.

We think.

The howdy.

Let's see how you feel about it.

Is it gonna scald my tongue?

Well, if you're—

Do you ever just scald your tongue like that?

Yeah.

Slurp. I'm not convinced.

You know, I'm not gonna lie, it's the best coffee I've ever had.

Shut up, that's awesome.

Wow, guys, you've got to stop by and get the Howdy Latte sometime.

Oh my God, it was born here in the studio. Should we pass it around?

Anybody else?

Hey, yeah, you want to— Mike, come try it. Mike, you gotta have the mask on though. Lift it up. Yeah, face the camera like a man.

He's too—

get out of here, Mike!

Give me some more smoke.

What were your thoughts?

All right, wow. Do you want to make another one or no? Or do you want to make another drink, another flavor?

I want to try the signature.

Um, hot or ice, Katie?

I would like it ice, but if that's too cold—

okay. Our, our, um, camera operator over there is wanting— what was it?

Uh, the— what'd you say?

The signature. The signature. What is the signature?

Brown sugar cinnamon brevet, which she wants to add.

Dang, that's a lot of words.

It is, but it's gonna be worth it.

So why do you think it's the best seller?

Um, it's good. Yeah, it's fantastic.

It is really good. We—

breathtaking.

Yeah, created it a couple years ago for Christmas Carousel. We needed like some Seasonal drinks. Yeah, came up with it. And breve means cream, so means that the latte is made with cream instead of regular milk or like oat milk.

I like that.

So of course it's gonna be better, like it's creamy.

Um, okay, wait, I forgot to add this.

Oh, the sleeve! Gotta wrap that. What is that?

Oh yes, limited edition espresso.

We'll work on getting those— your face put on some new sleeves.

But yeah, we're gonna, we're gonna get some new sleeves put on. I mean, yeah, new sleeves with my face put on it.

You're not in focus. Oh, nice, nice. Okay. Katie, you will have to get me some ice from the back for your ice coffee.

Are you having a good time on the Howdy Podcast so far?

I mean, never been better.

Would you say this is the best podcast in the city of Abilene?

Uh, I mean, yeah, it's gotta be.

It's really—

it's on the rise.

I mean, I'm telling you. We're gonna go viral.

Yeah.

It's all stuck together.

Well, I'm paying you a lot of money to be here, so.

Exactly. I'm really thankful for you.

Do you pay for your followers?

Every last one.

Okay, so since we are a social media digital marketing company.

Yeah.

Do you use social media a lot?

Definitely. It's a full-time job on its own.

Yeah, I mean, has it helped you?

Mad respect. Yeah, um, I mean, I would say that probably leads to a lot of events. I mean, depending on different reels and stuff we post, places that we are, um, always leads to new connections. So try to be really active on there. So if you're on Instagram or Facebook, I've been easing into TikTok, but it's not, it's not my comfort zone. Yeah. Espresso Oak, which people don't know how to spell it or say it.

Express Oak.

No.

Express Oak.

There is no X. No X exists in the word espresso. So yeah, it's Espresso Oak. I also want to just clear it up. It's not two words. We do get a lot of confusion there.

Okay. One word, people.

Espresso Oak is not it.

But okay, I could see that though.

I know it— I, I see it's misleading. I'm not—

that's why you need to put my face on it.

It'd clear everything up.

Okay, what do you want, Mike? Thanks.

Thank you.

Thank you. Thanks.

So I need other eyes for this. We're making Katie eyes. Thank y'all. That took some effort.

It was all melted together.

Yeah, normally we have straight nugget ice, but not today. Darren didn't pay me enough.

Mike, can you make me a sandwich real quick?

Oh my God, this is why I can't hang with y'all.

Y'all are too girly.

Okay, all right, so I just thought of a challenge. You're gonna try to make this drink while I'm flopping without laughing. Without laughing. Okay, and Mike's gonna get another— earlier, so I don't Oh wow, Mike, where's the other floret?

Hang on, I gotta get this, I gotta get this poop on the—

the poop.

Poof! Nice. This is gonna be the cinnamon going in our brown sugar cinnamon. Oh my gosh, wow, that was nice.

That was epic.

Yeah, and we got our shots.

Mike, you gotta come stand over here on this side. Like, like right here, like right in her ear, and you're just gonna flirt. And, and if you make it all the way through making the whole drink— well, I guess you already made most of it. Okay, okay, if you can, if you can make it the rest of the way—

like, it like literally like sent chills.

If you can make the rest of the drink.

Okay.

Without laughing.

Okay. Oh, that one was good. That one— I've already failed, Darren. Quit. Oh.

Katie, I can't wait for my latte.

This was you.

Well, she failed, so it's not my fault. That, that $200 is out the window. We, we have high stakes here at the Howdy Podcast. If you complete a challenge, you get cash money in hand before you leave.

Okay, I love cash.

How are you flarping so good, bro?

That's wild.

Okay, Katie, I really like— I don't want to hear that anymore.

Flarp?

Yeah, I should have got that on camera right there.

Here, you can still pick it up and take it to camera 2 right next to you.

This to the left or right?

The left where Michael's flarping.

Beautiful.

Oh, nice.

Your nails look cute too.

Oh, thanks. I'm really tempted to take a sip of this, but this is all you.

Okay, um, COVID protocols.

That was a nice slurp.

COVID protocols.

That ain't bad.

Oh, I just spit it.

Um, but Katie, we're gonna share on that.

Okay, Mike, get out of here. Go, Batman, be gone. Keep that there. Go. It's okay, guys.

There's that one. All right, we didn't get you on any latte art.

Oh, y'all gotta try.

Okay, I want a caramel latte.

Oh yeah, I got you. Perfect. All right, I'm gonna let Darren steam it up for you.

Mine is about to be the best dang coffee you've ever had.

Oh, you want ice or hot?

All right. How do you do it?

Uh, oh yeah, you got that.

Do you have to stop it?

No, it'll stop on its own. Katie, you want your coffee?

You going to wait?

Yeah. Thank you. Yeah.

Okay, perfect. So it's kind of crazy, but you're just going to take this, what we call here a tamp.

A tamp.

A tamp. You're going to put the— nope, sit it down. There you go. You're gonna put, you know, some grit into it.

Some tamp on it?

Yeah, some tamp.

Some tamp on it?

No tampons.

No, I'm gonna put some tamp on it.

Oh, awesome. I'm glad.

Tamp on it just like that.

That was not enough oomph. You're gonna really need to—

yeah, use your cojones!

Extra press.

More?

A little bit more? Cody's gonna call you out.

There you go, there you go, there you go.

Cody can.

Okay, now you just want to kind of KMA. What? KMA, kiss my—

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Apple.

Apple.

Oh, apple.

Yes.

Yeah, just— there you go. I've never heard of KMA.

I don't—

maybe I made it up.

It's legendary if you did.

Keep my alien.

I won't take the credit, actually.

Okay.

Is that enough? Or does it need to be like—

Yeah, you've done splint. Splint? You spent plenty of time on that. I do believe.

Wow.

Wow.

Look at that. Okay.

So it's kind of a weird angle.

Okay.

But you got this. You're going to come in here from where I'm at. Left side. Crank it to the right.

Okay.

Nervous. Crank that soldier boy. You got it.

Okay.

Like grunty.

Mm.

Party foul.

I'm nervous.

You're so close. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now just crank to the right. There you go. Awesome. It's not for the weak. And then—

Maybe I need to just work out some more. Okay, what do I do? Lever to the left, boys and girls.

Ah, let's see.

Just like that, I'm a barista.

Honestly gorgeous.

I'm a barista at Expresso.

No X again, we repeat.

Barista with no A.

Can someone get the flarp out of here?

Um, we're sponsored by flarp, so we can't.

Okay, caramel sauce in the bottom.

Caramel sauce.

Judging that Michael probably—

how much caramel?

Heavy on the caramel, or—

oh, he's definitely up. Yeah, look at him.

Oh wow, show the camera, we gotta see your— here. Oh, wrong one.

Plenty of it. Karen!

Oh my lanta.

Oh, oh, maybe just straight, straight shot to the—

boom! Just like that. Mike, can we have some paper towels please?

Okay, your shot stopped. Okay, they're a little slow, but okay, they'll do. Michael's a forgiving guy.

Do you have any merch?

Um, in my truck.

Okay.

You need some swag?

I just want to buy some.

Oh, we'll let them know here first.

Wait, what do I do?

What do I do? You pour it in there. So you want to get this crema that's on top. You want to make sure that pretty layer of foam on top there, that's important. It's called crema.

Okay, why is it important?

It just, it just is the sign of a good shot, and if you don't get that in the cup, then what's the point? So get it in there.

I've taken good shots that don't have that.

A little quicker. Um, but you asked about merch. Oh, so close.

Oh shoot. Do y'all have merch?

Yeah, so we do have some merch actually in the launch process right now. Um, so you're hearing it here first. Oh, um, I'm sorry, I'll clean it. Yeah, it's fine.

I'll buy you an espresso machine.

Okay, back. You'll hear it here first. We are having hats made.

Oh shoot, are they going to be patches or embroidery, or do we have to wait?

Is this mine? Is this mine?

That is yours. I moved it. Okay, um, patches. Yeah, the patches have been patched and we're working with Lone Star Dry Goods.

Shout them out. Wow, shout out Lone Star Dry Goods.

Get them going.

Best hats in the West Tex— in the Texas.

Oh yeah, they've been super helpful, so we're pretty stoked. And there will be the first opportunity to purchase them at our birthday party, which is also—

when is that?

At first Um, March 30th, so it's a Saturday.

Wow.

And what? Oh, you want your coffee?

Oh bro, Mike, I don't know what you're saying, dog. You got to take the mask— actually, keep the mask on. Come out here. Can you bring me— oh wait, you brought me paper towels. Never mind. Oh yeah, never mind. Get out of here.

Take the fart and the arrow. It's unasked Aesthetic.

Yeah, um, ma'am, we're not about aesthetic.

That really did like start to kind of stain that. That's wild.

That's just called quality beans.

You're right, they're stout, they leave stains.

Um, have you ever drank too much caffeine or too much espresso? What happened? Okay, okay, fun fact. Do you know, do you know how much espresso it takes to die?

I have looked this up, it's like 70 liters.

Can you make that for me right now?

That would take a lot for Valentina. That's her name.

Well, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

We'd be here for a minute, but if people wanted to see it—

okay, let's do a challenge. You make that much and then I'll chug it.

Okay, okay, next episode.

Okay, next episode.

Hey, birthday party!

Oh yeah, yeah, what about a big deal?

You're gonna be there too.

I guess I am. And we're going to have faces on the sleeves.

And the Howdy drink is on the menu. But yeah, we're having our own.

Let's go, Mike. We made it.

What?

We made it.

Oh, howdy.

Yeah.

Hey, don't give up yet because this is the biggest— this is your time to shine right now. This is the most important part.

Okay, what do I do? Oh boy, last time I steamed milk it didn't end well.

Yeah, we're gonna need some smoke for this moment.

Yeah, Mike, Mike, for sure, can we please have some smoke, please?

Woo!

Here we go.

About to get steamy.

Wow. Great work, great work.

Mike.

All right, you see this steam wand? Okay, completely manual.

So who's Manuel?

Manuel, go to the left. The more power you give it, more twists, the more power you give it. Okay, now to the left. The goal this way on this, to the right. No, no, to the left. Turns it on. Yeah, lefty loosey, righty tighty. You get the Okay, we're— pressure. Okay, so if you're wanting to get some art, let me just coach you through how to steam some good milk.

Yes.

Okay, you want to hear some chirps in the beginning. Okay, so the, like, the end of this little steam wand needs to really catch air. Okay, okay. And then I'll coach you through it. Just maybe just go.

All right, listen.

Oh wait, you're not doing it, I'm doing it.

Yeah, you're doing it.

Okay.

Hear the chirps?

I hear them birds.

Now we're lowering towards the center.

Okay, now what are you supposed to hear?

Just getting— we're just lowering it down into the milk, getting a good twirl.

I hear— now it's too hot for me. How was that?

That was— wow.

Okay, we're going to give it a few— okay, beats.

Just to oxidize it.

Yeah, exactly. Taren, impressive.

Maybe I should work at Espresso.

I don't know if these shots are going to do me justice on the steam milk.

We're going to try. Wait, wait, am I doing the art?

Oh yeah, totally. Okay, you better hurry because this stuff—

okay, is it hot? Is it not hot?

Yeah, but hold this and then pour. Okay, into the camera. Which camera?

Can you see it?

No, go up. Yeah, okay, go up a little bit more to the left.

Yeah. Oh yeah. So you're just pouring, you're gonna kinda make some circular motions, get some flow going. Okay, good.

Okay, gotta get the flow.

You're gonna go about 3/4 of the way up, a little bit less, and then, keep going, keep going, and then you'll start about, keep going, now you're gonna give it a little bit more kick from the back to get that froth.

Kick from the back?

Like, you know what I mean? Like you're gonna, yeah, and then start making, yeah, yeah, yeah, swirl, swirl, through. Cowboy hat coming soon. Nice, we're gonna need to see that.

Whoa, whoa, wow, go up. We can't see it.

Up more. Wow, Darren, it's awesome.

Wow, you know, I bet you guys don't even know what that is. Chumps, chumps.

Mike, that one's for Michael.

Thanks for tuning in the Howdy Podcast, guys. This is Carly, our guest from Espressoc. Where can they follow you?

@Espressoc.

How do you spell it? Spell it out.

Simple, right here on the sleeve. Y'all got this, y'all got this. There's the spelling. There is no X.

And if they're listening on Spotify, how do you spell it?

E-S-P-R-E-S-S-O-A-K. Did I get that right?

Now can you spell Tortuga?

Definitely beyond me.

Anyways, guys, um, do you have a gift card?

Oh, I do.

All right, we're doing a small slash huge giveaway. This is big time gift card, $50. Yeah, you know how much coffee $50 can buy you at Espresso? That's like 10 coffees.

That's—

yeah, I mean, maybe 9 after sales tax.

Yeah, that is cute.

But listen, we're giving it away. Yeah, on all the social media platforms we're going to be releasing this. All you got to do to enter: tag 3 friends. Actually, tag as many friends as you want. Every tag is an entry. Share it to your story. Follow Espresso. I guess if you want, follow Flights and Sights Media. And that's it. It's pretty simple. If you want to win $50 worth of coffee, yeah, that's what you do. Be on the lookout for the new merch for Espresso Oak.

Yeah, the caps.

Also, we post our schedule every week. Remind them about your birthday party bash one more time.

Oh yes, our birthday bash is happening March 30th at 142 Elm Street. Um, we're gonna have a cart set up. We're gonna be doing $2 lattes for 2 years, so So actually the cheapest one you can find are—

Wait, wait, for two— Oh, oh, okay.

Yeah.

No, no, no.

Yeah.

Not for two.

I gotta clarify that. You don't get, yeah, you don't get coffee.

You don't get $2 coffee for two years straight.

But every other day you get $2 lattes.

So like this drink would be $2.

Exactly. Yeah. Okay. And it's just, you know, it's gonna be like—

So one of those dollars is going to me.

If you got cash, you got Venmo, we're gonna roll that way. There's gonna be live music.

Okay.

It's gonna be pretty lit.

Who's doing that?

Magnolia Music, We got Darren and Katie Grace.

Um, I just started playing the guitar last week, and so it may be bad, but we're doing it.

Yeah, full send. Um, card will be set up on the inside. We'll have food for everybody. It's gonna be a vibe. Hors d'oeuvres.

What kind of food?

Um, Salty Roan, you know, the best of the best. I had to drop them too. Wow.

Salty Roan. Anyways, thanks so much, Carly.

Of course.

It's been a blast. Hope y'all learned something. Cheers. We'll see you in the next one.

Bye.