Best of TikTok 2022

Hey girl.

Welcome to the get yout Guy Coaching podcast. My name is Anwar White, but you can just call me your own personal dating and relationship coach. Each week you'll hear actionable advice, tips and strategies that you can implement in.

Your own love life.

I'm talking about healing your heart, dating effectively and understanding men so that you can, you guessed it, get your guide.

Are you ready to level up your love life?

All right, let's go.

I never felt the way I do.

Without anyone but you.

Hello my loves, and welcome to the last get your Guy coaching podcast of 2022. I hope this year was so amazing for you and I hope you're having a great holiday season. This is a kind of like a special episode. So 2022 has been amazing for me, Coach Anwar, as well as the get yout Guy coaching podcast. TikTok has blown my business up and my business has tripled, which has been such a blessing. But often times it has created some stress in terms of my programs being completely booked. So I've actually created a new club membership lifetime membership program called the get yout Guy Club. And it is a lifetime membership club that has a Facebook community that has weekly live coaching and support via email, as well as a 25 plus hour online course that is going to help you level up in terms of dating strategy, boundaries, vulnerability, masculine and feminine energy, mindset, and healing your inner child wounds. Now, if that's something that you're interested in, definitely. I'll put the link in my show notes for you to click on and learn more about the club. But without further ado, I want to share with you some of my fun TikToks that I shared over the last year. I hope this is amazing and fun for you to learn.

Hey my love, if you are a woman of color and you have had some issues with your boundaries, I want you to keep on listening because I'm gonna go through why that is. One of the things that I know for sure is that when you are growing up, there are no boundaries in your household. You can't say no to your parents. And that is because our mothers and our grandmothers don't teach us to have boundaries. Their definition of love is to self sacrifice. And when we go back generations, we'll realize that we never were allowed to have boundaries. So that is what is being taught in our households as we are raised. This is why it is very hard for a lot of women of color to actually be successful in love. I want to change that. That's why I do what I do when it comes to working with women of color to level up their love lives. Now if you want help with that, you can definitely continue to follow me because I will give you tips on that. Or you can click on the link above and book a consultation call with me. Hey girl. So if you find yourself stumped when a guy is asking you what you're actually looking for, I want you to continue to listen because oftentimes women will be really specific in their detail and then you're giving this guy a blueprint of how to actually love you. And for toxic and narcissistic men, they will use that to get you stuck. I actually want you to be very vague and broad and just let them know that you're looking to connect with people, get to know them and hopefully that will lead to a long term relationship. It's very present minded. Why am I saying this? I'm saying this because he doesn't deserve to understand everything about you until after day three. And I know that that might sound like games, but in dating your job is to observe and to gather data. Dating is dataing, right? Once he establishes that he's consistent, dependable, emotionally available, this is when we get start to get specific about what your wants and what your needs are in a relationship. Otherwise he doesn't deserve to understand all of that. Not yet at least. I hope that helped.

Hey girl, I have something to say. I'm going to need so many of you to actually keep your punani to yourself.

Yeah, I said it.

I'm so sorry but I had to. And guess what?

I'm a grown ass man. I don't get to tell you what to do with your body. But as a dating coach, I want to let you know that not doing.

That, especially early on in the courtship.

Phase can be really dangerous because when you hook up with a guy, you actually become chemically bonded to him. And when that happens and you've seen.

It before because I'm sure you have.

A couple of friends that are completely dematized that you lose your critical thinking.

Skills and you will also allow a.

Lot of things to happen because you are literally addicted to this guy. I don't want that to happen. So moral of the story, keep your punani to yourself. It will help you a ton. Hey girl, do you want to know where you can find high quality men? Well, if so, continue to listen because this is a question that I hear from so many women either in my lives or in my DMs and I want to give you the answer that I think is going to be most relevant for you. I actually think that that question is flawed because it's not about finding a specific place to meet a guy. It's actually about the woman that you become when you are meeting your guy. Right. Why is that? I could tell you go to Home Depot, go to the Apple Store, go to hotel, you know, airport lounges, hotel restaurants and bars. Right? But if you're a bitch and you're super judgmental, you're never going to get your guy. It's about the woman that you become even if you meet a great guy in those places. Right. Part of this question is also coming from a place of my shit don't stink. So I just need to find a guy that matches me when in reality there's probably work that needs to be done. Okay, so what does this all mean? This means that we have to work on ourselves. Because here's the thing, you could lower your standards tomorrow and get into a relationship. My job as a successful dating coach is to help my clients get into their forever relationship so that they can be in a relationship for 20, 30, 40 years. And if you're interested in that, I want you to reach out to me and book a consultation. I hope this helps.

Hey girl. I don't know who needs to hear this, but if you have found yourself in many situationships, there's a reason for that. And I'm going to tell you exactly what that reason is. I know that this might be hard to hear, but I'm saying this with love and respect. The reason why you stay in situationships and the reason why you've been in situationships is because you have been in a situationship with your own father. When I'm saying this, I'm saying this because he has either been emotionally or physically absent. He has not been consistent. He has not been dependable. He has not been reliable. So you have created a definition of what a relationship with a man looks like based on that, a situationship with your father means that it's okay to be in a situationship with these men. It is not. If you want to learn how to be in relationship with with men in a healthy way, go to my bio, book a consultation call and we'll figure out what's a scam that's become so normalized that we don't even realize it's a scam anymore. How women are taught to date. Now hear me out. Most of the time, women are actually conditioned and programmed to only focus on one man at a time. We see it In Disney movies, we see it in rom coms. And if a woman tends to do something else and date multiple men for some reason, she's given the scarlet letter and considered a slut and a whore. Or where at the same time these men have been doing it for centuries, dating multiple women at the same time. Now this is about wanting to be chosen instead of doing the choosing. And we have to learn how to do it better, right? I tell all of my dating clients we need to be Olympic dating. You need to have a gold medalist, a silver medalist and a bronze medalist at all time, right? This is how we, what I say, diversify our portfolio, right? Even the best index funds and hedge funds have a diversified portfolio. None of them would just invest in one stock. So I don't want you to invest in one man. This also protects your heart, right? And if one guy's not working out, you got two other guys to continue to date and figure things out and you're not focused on one guy and you haven't put all of your eggs in one basket. This is about, like I was saying before, choosing instead of waiting to be chosen. Now I always tell of my clients and I think this is really important, especially for women to hear that they need to be the CEOs of their love lives, right? Many of the women are actually acting like interns trying to prove themselves so that they can get the job. Let the men actually prove themselves to you. Hope this helps.

Hey girl, One thing that I want to offer to you as you are becoming ready for the best relationship of your life is that healing actually happens through being self centered and actually focusing on yourself. When you have been taught to actually put others before you and do for others, it actually reduces and slows down your healing.

The other thing that I think is.

Important when you are in a relationship is that you are going to have to learn how to actually be self centered in a relationship with a masculine, energetic man. Because your job is to share with him exactly how you're feeling and what you want. And his job is to actually make sure that those things come to pass. I hope that helps as you continue to level up in your life and in your love. If you want to learn more, you can follow. Please comment below and book a consultation call with me so that we can get into the best relationship of your life.

Hey girl, I don't know who needs to hear this, but your over giving is actually turning men off and I'll tell you why. Over giving is actually a masculine energetic trait. Over giving is providing And I know what you're saying. My mom overgave, my grandmother overgave, and that became your definition for love. But I want to let you know that two things will happen when you over give in a relationship with a masculine man. You will either butt heads because you guys are both in your masculine energy. And either one of you is trying to lead or provide or the guy will progress into a teenage boy and you will end up mothering him. If you want to actually date, well, you will have to find your complement. If you're in your masculine, you'll have to find your feminine energy guy. But part of the work that I do with my clients is teaching them how to sit comfortably in their feminine energy so that they can find a masculine man. And most women are actually looking for that. I hope that helps. Follow hey girl, if you are single and looking for love, I just want to come on here and remind you that there is nothing wrong with you. You are amazing, you are beautiful. And if you're ready for love, you will find it. I think sometimes we think that something's wrong with us because we're serious, we're single and everyone else is married and having babies and all of that. Oftentimes you might have grown up in survival or trauma and you've been focused on that and haven't had the time to actually devote to growing and developing in this part of your life. But it is very possible for you. Even in just the last 16 weeks, I've had 13 exclusive relationships with my clients, two engagements and one woman that's moved in with her guy. Doesn't matter if they were plus size, doesn't matter if they were single moms, doesn't matter if they've never had a boyfriend before. For it's all very possible for you. So on this weekend, get it, girl. Hey girl, do you want to know if you're in your masculine or your feminine energy in dating and relationships? Well, I have a very simple question to ask you. Would you rather be respected or would you rather be cherished? Now, if you say that you'd rather be respected, then you're probably in your masculine energy. If you say that you want to be cherished, you're probably in your feminine energy. Most of you, especially if you're a woman of color, a black woman, will be in your masculine energy because society forces you to be. And that's what we saw our mothers and our grandmothers doing. Here's why love and dating can be really hard when you're in your masculine energy. One because most men are in their masculine energy. 80% of guys are in their masculine energy. And masculine. And masculine doesn't work. You either will be bumping heads trying to control and lead a relationship, or the guy will regress into a teenage boy and you will end up mothering him. Right. So part of the work is if you want to be in a masculine energy, you're going to have to find a feminine energy partner or you're going to have to learn how to be in your feminine energy. Yeah, comfortably. Hey, girl. I want to talk about matching energies, because I hear so often. Okay. If you're going to do that, I'm going to do that. Right. Matching energies does not actually create connection in dating and in love and other relationships, if we're being honest. Right. When you are here and the other person is here, when you match their energy, you go down to where they are. No, girl, you stay there and you set the boundary. People who match energies don't have boundaries. You say, hey, this is what I need in this relationship, to feel good and to feel emotionally safe. And then we wait for their response to your boundary. If they level up, great. If they don't, we gotta let them go.

Yeah.

That's what this work is all about. So if you want to learn how to strengthen your boundaries and to be okay when they don't level up, please follow, comment, and take a listen to my podcast because that will help you amazingly as well. Be well, my loves. Bye. Hey, girl. I get a lot of questions about how to meet a guy in real life. That the apps aren't working for them.

They're tired of the app.

So I just want to meet guys in real life. So I want to talk about what I tell my dating clients as a.

Top dating coach in terms of how.

To meet guys in real life. Okay. Before I go into that, though, I.

Want to just offer to you that men are not approaching women in the.

Same way that they had in the past. We're in a post me too.

Environment.

And so a lot of men are.

Not going to be approaching you because they don't want to be considered a.

Harasser or a pervasive. We're also depending on who you're talking to, either in a pandemic or just.

Got out of a pandemic.

So men are just going to be more respectful of general space in general. So what can we do to actually meet guys in real life?

I want to empower you to actually what I call open up the space.

When we're living our lives. Right. What does that mean? It means that I want you to start the conversation and then see. See how he finishes it. So there are three ways that I want you to do this. I want you to either start with a compliment, I want you to ask for a recommendation, or I want you to ask for help. Right. Compliment. Hey, that's a really nice shirt.

Where did you get it from?

Asking for help? Hey, can you get that can of.

Soup in the grocery store for me?

I can't reach it. Recommendation. Hey, what do you usually get here at Starbucks? Yeah. That is the way to open up the space and start the conversation. Then we just see how he continues.

The conversation and let him go from there.

And then maybe naturally it will happen, maybe not. I know a lot of you are like, I don't want to do that. I don't want to be rejected. Well, one, welcome to the life of many men out there that are rejected 90% of the time. Two, one way that I want you to kind of minimize the risk of rejection is by looking at a man's feet. If his feet are in your direction, then you know that he is into you. How do I know this? Well, one, it's body language 101.

But two, this is what I learned.

As a gay man, figuring out which guys were into me and which guys weren't.

Whether they present it as straight or not. Yeah. Anyway, I hope that helps.

This is how I want you to date in real life.

The other thing that I want to.

Offer to you is I want you to regularly go to specific events that are your passion and your hobbies. So if you love charity work, go to charity work every week. This will give a guy time to.

Actually come up to you to get.

To know you, and he will see you in your best light because this.

Is something that you're passionate about and.

You will be at your highest form.

I hope this is helpful.

Hey, girl. If you are struggling to get approached when you're out and about in these dating streets, then I want you to continue to listen because getting approach should not be the actual goal. And I'll tell you why. When you are wanting to be approached, then we are prioritizing the male gaze and we are prioritizing the attention from men. Do you understand that? The men that actually approach you will approach another five, six, seven women on that day. So by the end of the week, they have 40 or 50 women that they've gotten numbers from, and you are becoming one of 50. Right. It's not special to be approached. It's not special to give your number or exchange numbers with someone, you become a number. You do not become an individual. And so what I want to offer to you is that getting approached should not be the goal. The goal should be finding connection with other individuals that are looking at you as a whole human being instead of another number. Now let's talk about this notion of wanting to be chosen versus choosing. In my dating program, I think it's important to have both an online and an offline strategy. So yes, go online. Go on the apps that are going to work for you. I love Hinge. I love coffee meets Bagel.

I love Match.

I'm not a fan of Tinder, or Bumble. I am also thinking about offline. And when I say offline dating, I'm also talking about, like, things that you will do on a regular basis so that you will be seen, whether it's volunteering or a book club or working out at a certain time or, you know, going out to awesome fun restaurants where you're going to have a blast. Like, these are things that are really important when you're talking about offline dating. The other thing that I want to talk about when it comes to offline dating is like, we cannot wait to be chosen. If you are a woman that is dating in 2022, you are going to have to what I call open the space. Men are not approaching women the way that they used to because we are in a public post, me too. Environment. And we are also, I'm sorry, people in a pandemic. So you're not going to get approached the way that you used to, which means that you are going to have to open up the space. It's not like you're going to have to approach men, but you are going to have to open the conversation. Meaning you can, you know, give him a compliment. You can ask for a recommendation, you can ask him a question, whatever it may be, and then we'll see what the where the conversation goes from there. I hope that helps as you're navigating online and offline and being approached versus not being approached. We have to stop waiting for love and waiting to be chosen. We have to, like, make it happen for ourselves by opening the space and by starting the conversation and see where it goes from there. I hope that helps. Click on my bio if you want to learn more about the way that I teach my clients how to date and get into the best relationship of their lives.

Hey girl, if you are single and dating, I want you to listen to this because this is a reframe that I give all of my clients that changes the total way that they think about dating. So many of us are conditioned and programmed to try to prove ourselves to be loved. And we learned that when we were trying to get good grades and we got attention and validation, or we played sports well or we did things around the house. And so in our minds and our hearts and our bodies, we think we have to do things to actually be loved. You don't. You get to just be your full, authentic, lovely self. And one of the reframes that I want to share with you is that I want you to think about dating as a race. And you're at the end of the finish line and all of these guys are racing to get to you. If a guy stops and stops his contact with you, he stops his chances of winning the race. And the prize is you. And the guy who is going to get through to you and do everything that he needs to do to get to you is the winner. I hope this helps you.

Hey, girl. Contrary to what the Disney movies and the rom coms will make you think, you're actually not supposed to be feeling any sort of butterflies when you're with your guy or talking to your guy or dating your guy. There should be a resounding calmness and centeredness in how you are feeling, because it just feels right. I always think of butterflies like actors that are about to go on stage and perform. Yes, you should be nervous because you're so focused on how the other. How the crowd is thinking about you and you want to perform well. You shouldn't have to perform for your dates. You should just be and feel confident in being your full, authentic self. Another way that I think about this is like, pretend you're back in high school and you're talking to the quarterback of the varsity, the, you know, football team. You might be a little bit nervous because you think that that person is better than you. If you're thinking that the person that you're dating is better than you, then that is not your person. Yeah. I hope this helps you follow for more.

Ladies, stop adminning these dates.

It is not your responsibility to actually organize these dates. Let these men do it for you. You are the CEO of your love life. You are not an admin. I hope this helps.

It's a scam that's become so normalized that we don't even realize it's a scam anymore.

Black love for black women. Specifically educated black women. Now, I know many of you are going to Try to fight me in the comments and that is totally fine. I'm a grown ass man and you are grown ass people, so you get to do whatever the hell you want. But just hear me out for just one second, okay? Why am I talking about this? I'm talking about this because black. Black women are 70% of the time unmarried. That's almost twice as much as any other race. There's an issue going on here and a big part of it is a hyper focus on this black love. Why? Well, because if you're focused on just black men, you're only looking at 13% of the male population instead of all of it, which could be 7xing your chance, your probability of finding your guy and finding love. The other reason why I think that it's very hard when you're hyper focusing on black men is because there's this undying loyalty to them. And I get it. Like they're treated unfairly and we want to keep the family strong and continue the black race. Girl, any family that you're a part of, any baby that you're going to have is going to be black. So it's going to be a black family. It's going to be a black race. This loyalty that we have, we're going to have to let some of it go. Why? Because these guys aren't loyal to you. They are actually dating and marrying outside the race almost three times as much as black women are. So, no, girl, I want you to get your love and not focus on a guy who isn't even checking for you. Okay? The third thing that I want to offer to you as you think about black love is that it actually plays. Plays on your traumas. What I know as a dating coach for black women is that there is significant trauma with the black father. Oftentimes he has either been emotionally absent or physically absent. So oftentimes black women will engage with black men to try to rewrite history, to chase her father's love. I want to let you know that that doesn't work. Actually, that's your work to do to heal within yourself. A black man won't be able to actually heal that void that you might be having. Okay, why am I talking about this? Because I think that black women deserve love and I want to give them the best opportunity to do so. That's why I've become a dating coach for them at the end of the day. So if you're interested in learning how to date differently and date better so that you can get your guy, check out My profile and I can definitely help you out with that. Otherwise I want to wish you well.

Hey girl. Are you looking for a man with ambition? Is that something that is on your dream guy checklist? Well, if so, I want you to reconsider it. And the reason why I'm saying that is a man with ambition will always put his goals or his ambitions first and put you second. And if you don't believe me, talk to the ex wives of Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates and Elon Musk. Yeah, what we are looking for is someone who has a growth mindset. A growth mindset is someone who wants to improve himself day after day after day. Someone who is ambitious is looking for something outside of themselves and it's not fully, fully fully realized within. I hope this helps as you're starting to evaluate men and what you're looking for because oftentimes I see people over evaluate or over emphasize one thing and underestimate other things that don't actually like correlate with successful relationship outcomes. Hey girl. So if you are meeting men and you have your walls up, then we have got to stop that because that is actually not going to help you get your guy and achieve your love goals. Now obviously if you have your walls up, you won't be able to be fully self seen and therefore fully loved. That's Love and Dating 101. I will let other people talk about that, but you've come to my page to actually get love and dating AP or honors course. So that's what we're going to talk about today. Why is it dangerous for you to actually have your walls up? Because the only people that are going to be climbing your walls are thieves, burglars and narcissists that love the challenge. We don't want that. Guess what girl? Good guys are not going to climb their walls. They live their lives in integrity and they don't have anything to prove. I want you to know that you have walls up because you are scared of your vulnerability. But your vulnerability is a superpower here. What the real issue is is that you don't trust yourself to set boundaries when you in love. You can always learn something from someone else. And today I want us to learn something from the gold diggers out there. The gold diggers will not waste their time with men that do not have money. And guess what? I don't think that you should either. And the reason I say that is because a man self actualizes through his career. So if he actually has not gotten his career in order, his focus is going to be on his career until he gets that together, which means that the focus will not be on you. He will not be ready to actually provide for a family, and he will not really be at his highest because he hasn't gotten this in order. So he's gonna be deeply insecure. Realize the gold diggers have something right here. Wait until the guy has his career ish together before you actually seriously engage with him. And yes, I know you want to be Mother Teresa with an amazing heart.

But girl, ain't nobody got time for that.

Follow for more hey girl, I have a question for you. What is the most difficult thing for you to actually say? Is it, I'm sorry, Is it I love you? Is it, I was wrong? Or is it I need help? Now, if you're on this page, you're probably single. And if you're single, your answer was probably, I need help. I am 95% sure of it. And you know, especially if you're a woman of color. And you know why that is? It's because when we ask for help, we have to be at our most vulnerable. And you are probably not used to being vulnerable, which is one of the reasons why you might be single. We can't deeply connect with men unless we are vulnerable. Our vulnerability actually inspires their vulnerability. And that's how we deeply connect with one another. Now, let's step back a second. Why aren't we vulnerable? Well, I'm pretty sure, especially if you have grown up in a household that is black or brown, that it wasn't safe for you to ask for help. That when you did, your needs weren't actually fulfilled. And so in your head, you realize that no one is going to actually help me, that I have to help myself. And that is how you've lived your life up until this point. The problem with that when it comes to dating and relationships is that a man is going to actually want to help you and feel like he is of value to you. So if he asks you, hey, let me carry that bag for you, and you're like, no, I got it, he's going to take that as rejection and he's going to step away and he's going to find another person that he feels like he can be of value to, okay, so ask for help. That is going to be the game changer when when it comes to not just your romantic relationships, but also all of your relationships. Okay? Follow for more. And if you're interested in learning how to date differently, definitely go into the link in my bio and book a free consultation. Call with me. Have a great day.

Hey girl, thank you so much for listening to the get yout Guy Coaching podcast. If you like this episode and want to talk with me personally, please book a free consultation at www.getyourguycoaching.com. apply or subscribe and leave me a review. Wherever you listen to your podcasts talk.