Celebrity Energy in Dating with Whitney Uland

You.

Hey girl. Welcome to the get yout Guy coaching podcast. My name is Anwar White, but you can just call me your own personal dating and relationship coach. Each week you'll hear actionable advice, tips and strategies that you can implement in your own love life. I'm talking about healing your heart, dating effectively and understanding men so that you can, you guessed it, get your guy. Are you ready to level up your love life? All right, let's go.

I never felt the way I do without anyone but you.

Hello, hello, hello, my lovely listeners. Thank you so much for joining the get your Guy coaching podcast. I have a very special guest. Whitney.

Do I call you the celebrity energy coach? What do I call you?

Girl? Yeah, Whitney is great. But yeah, I'm a celebrity coach. I help from good hearted artists, creatives and influencers become famous and I help people who are already famous become more famous and like actually enjoy being famous. It's so fun.

I love that because you know what, I'm pretty sure most people were like, I didn't even know that there was such a person. And they say that about dating coaching as well. But yeah, we're very real.

Oh, 100%. No, it's literally, I mean I did kind of like start my own niche. Like it's like because I, I basically feel like I became the coach that I always needed and like wanted because I just was, I just grew up and it was just so villainized to want to be famous. Like, you know, and there's this idea, you're a narcissist, you're full of yourself, you must be evil, whatever. And so yeah, I just grew up being like, wait, but I, I don't think I'm evil, but I still want to be famous. Is that a problem?

So anyway, so why did you want to be famous? Talk to us a little bit. I mean, sorry girl, like giving my God, come into our your world.

Yes. So I mean tale is oldest time. No, but I think it's, it's really like I really just was born being like I feel like I'm supposed to make a big impact. Like I remember being a little kid and like imagining doing like press interviews and just knowing that I was going to have a large like audience and you know, I'm, I'm a millennial. So I didn't grow up really with the Internet in the same way that young kids do now. And so there were no like influencers. There were no TikTokers or YouTubers or.

Anything like that influencer was the most popular girl in school.

Exactly, exactly. And her reach was just like being the queen bee at school. And that was not me. That was not my journey at all, which I think I just always love to share. Because I think people think like, oh, if you want to be famous, you had to have been the popular girl. You had to have been really outgoing or whatever. And I was like such a little frickin weirdo. Like, same.

Yeah, exactly. So. But I did pursue acting. I kind of went that route. And I had a lot of like, like I have a bfa, a musical theater. I like, you know, I know that I like had the talent, but I just couldn't quite like pop off. I couldn't quite get the results. And I was just busting my ass. I felt like I was doing all the things it was very much. Like, looking back now I'm like, oh, I was very much in my masculine energy, just like really hustling and really just trying to make it happen. And that's, you know, essentially when I also kind of found, you know, my. My dad passed away. So I kind of also was simultaneously starting my own, like, healing journey. And that's kind of when I realized, like, oh, actually I can att instead of chasing them. And when I do that, that's what actually creates this energy that people want to watch. It's like this energy. It's the it factor. And I was kind of always taught that you had to be born with the factor. But through my work as an actor combined with my work as a mindset coach, I realized like, oh, no, that's actually just a skill that you can learn how to turn on. And it really is about, you know, stepping into that ability to be received and to be seen for who you authentically are. And so, yeah, I feel like my work, you know, I started coaching artists and actors and influencers kind of just to like, enjoy their life better. And then I signed my first celebrity client and I was like, wait a second, there is something here for me. And just realized I was like, oh, the only difference between people who are celebrities and the people who aren't is just that they believe that they can be and they believe that they're magnetic enough to have a big following. And so that kind of then I guess informed my journey of figuring out the curriculum that now I teach my clients. So.

So I love that so much. I am my mom, when I was growing up, she used to call me Amor, the star. Like, that was my name, right? So when you talk about, like just knowing, I also feel like it was Part of my destiny as well. And I think it's the destiny of everyone, right? And I think that we have to find our own kind of stardom and find our own kind of celebrity energy. So me a little bit about what celebrity energy is. And before you answer that, let me just talk to the listeners a little bit, because I know they're like, girl, why do you have this girl on here? And I think the reason why I wanted Whitney to be on this podcast, and I don't really ask a lot of people to be honest with you, is because I think it is very important to be the celebrity of your own love life, to be the celebrity, AKA the main character in your relationships. And so I want to talk about this here and now so that you all can also understand, like, not just that you need to do it, but how to get there and some tangible steps in, yes, getting into this energy. So I just share that. But, girl, what is celebrity energy? Let's talk about it.

So celebrity energy, it's the factor. So it's kind of that, like, je ne sais quoi. People can't quite put a finger on it. I love, though, that your mom saw it in you, right? Your mom saw like an or the star, right? Like, you're going to be. You're going to have it. But not everyone necessarily. It's like, for me, I saw it in myself. I didn't really have that reflected back to me. Like, for me, it was very much like an uphill journey to be like, I think I have something inside of me. But at the simplest, it's. It's the. It's this it factor that makes people want to watch you, and it makes people want to be around you. And I think, again, for a long time, like, people really were told that it's this. It's like something you're born with or something that you're not. But the truth is, we all have access to it. And what it really is is you being able to be witnessed and perceived in your authenticity for, like, who you authentically are. And so to me, I feel like it is something, you know, I say there's. There's four relationships that you have to work on if you want to be famous. One of them is your romantic life, right? Like your love life. It's like your ability to receive love from a lover also, you know, the ability, like, from your colleagues, also from strangers, and also from money. So there's just like, all of these different kind of aspects that we kind of have to look at to See what's blocking you from feeling safe, being authentically who you are. You know, it's really like, I think we, we have this idea of what a star is or what a celebrity is or whatever. And so a lot of people, a lot of people in my audience, it's like they, they almost try to be that, they try to shape shift to be that. Instead of if you can just really tap into who you authentically are and put that on display and let people witness it, that's actually what makes you like the most magnetic. Like in acting, there's kind of this idea. You never want to do a scene with a dog or a baby because they will, what's called pull focus. Which means everyone just wants to watch them. And it's not because they're like so cute. It's because they're, they just are existing in this state where they're present and they're like uninhibited. They're unafraid to be seen. And so really the work is about like getting back into that. And that's when you start creating and really attracting opportunities, partners, you know, money, like literally all of the things I love. Something also, you know, about celebrity is it's, it's this idea. They're people who don't have to like play by the conventional rules of society, right? And so I think even in terms of like your love life or whatever, there's so much like on my, my algorithm right now, it's like constantly women telling horror stories about dating, constantly saying like, these men, men are X, Y and Z. This is what's happening. And really to, to like the celebrity energy is deciding that you get to be the exception to those rules and that you get to have like a fairy tale ending. Your life gets to be like a rom com. You get to have the person who's chasing after you, you get to be the person who's pursued. And it's really about like celebrity energy. Like, yes, it is something that will help you create the resource of fame. So if you wanted to go viral, you wanted to like be a successful actor, whatever, it will absolutely do that. But it's so much bigger than that. It's about becoming a celebrity. Like I use the phrase a self made celebrity, which is like, you know, the person who gets to attract all of the things that they want. And like, it's really about being guided by what your desires are, not just the limits of what society thinks is possible and what everyone else, what has happened in the past, right? Not making decisions based on painful things that have happened to you, but based on your dreams, based on your future, based on what you want. And it's really about believing that you can be that person. If that makes sense.

Yeah, definitely.

What I know, though, is that people are afraid of it. People shy away from it. And I will just speak from. You know, I think I know that I was afraid of my celebrity energy. And for me, it was the background of being black and being gay were actually being seen. And being outside of the crowd meant oftentimes violence or negative reactions. And that can be really hard for marginalized communities, women, queer, whatever it may be. And so are there any other reasons why people would. That you see in your work shy away from their own celebrity energy that I think is very innate within them?

Yeah, and I love that you bring that up because it is so true. Like, so I was raised in a cult and I'm a queer woman. And so that was not. That didn't, like, that didn't vibe really well. Right. And so I think that, like, something that I see so often with my clients is it's people who come from, like, often multiple marginalized identities where it's like, you actually, there is actual literal proof that it wouldn't be safe for you to be who you are, right? Like, it actually was not safe for me to come out until I was 27 years old and, like, out of my, like, community and fully had left the cult, like, all of those things. And so it really is, like, about doing that work and betting on the fact that you can be that exception. Right? And that's really. That's why I'm so passionate about this work is like, you, Anwar, by, like, being a, like, queer black man with such a, like, strong following, you are literally changing the game for other people, right? And for, like, you're. You're breaking generational patterns. And so that's really, like, what I'm. So why I'm so passionate about my work. And so many of my clients do come to me from multiple marginalized identities. That was such a long caveat to say, though, there are three things that are going to keep you from your celebrity energy. So the first one is just going to be, like, the fear of the unknown, right? So if you think about, like, our brains, like, we've evolved from cavemen and cave women, right? And our brains, like a caveman's job was just to stay alive, just keep the species moving, right? And we didn't want to go out and, like, risk rejection. We didn't want to do anything that would be perceived as threatening. So to, to tap into celebrity energy, to be, you know, especially, like, if you want to be famous, you want to have a platform. Your brain doesn't even understand what the Internet is. Like, if I was to say like, a million people are going to see you overnight. You can't even picture a million people. And yet you, you wake up all the time, I'm sure with a million views or like 500,000 views or whatever. Like, but your brain is not naturally going to see that as being something that is safe. And you can really, like, also add in like, stranger danger to that. So if you have, like, for me, just growing up with a news cycle on all the time, or like, any time that we. Or even being raised in a cult and taught that, like, the world is bad and only the people inside the cult were righteous. It was and, like, good. But that taught me that the outside world is dangerous and that's not safe. So, so anything that's going to create this, like, stranger danger. The second thing is going to be.

Before we go into the second thing, can we talk about, like, okay, we have the stranger danger or we're just scared of society or culture or whatever. Like, how do we kind of get over that? Right? Because I, I want to make sure that, like, we might have steps to be able to like, slowly move toward this a bit.

So a hundred percent.

I hear a lot about, well, I'm anxious, I'm shy, I'm introverted, like. Right. And some, some of it is based on fear. Some of it is based on just like, who they are. So how can we kind of step outside of that, that those fears. Right.

Yeah. So I think that the first thing, and this probably will be the answer to getting through all three of the different things that are blocking us. But I think the first thing. Well, so if it's okay with you. Let me finish those.

Please do, please do.

I think that that'll make more sense. So the second thing that we're afraid of is separation from community. So for example, if your, like, you shouldn't be a star, then you wanting to be famous would cause. Your subconscious brain is going to think, oh, this is going to cause separation from my mom. Right. And we have these, like, really strong primal instincts. But also, if your friends are going to think that you're cringe, if your parents are going to be like, what the are you doing? Like, why do you think. Who do you think you are by putting yourself out there in these ways? Or, you know, like, for A lot of my clients, it's like they have this struggling artist community. I could even see this with dating. If it's like, if you have a crew of women that you're constantly like, we're all in the struggle bus of.

Dating and we talk about men, and this is like, the way that connects.

And yeah, then, like, your brain is literally going to be afraid of creating a different result because it's going, like, your brain is going to perceive that as you leaving your community. And so that's why it's like, you can have this desire, and yet your brain is going to avoid it because it's going to perceive it as separation. And then the third thing is just going to be any past negative experiences. So if you've actually put yourself out there and failed, you've been bullied, you've been in the spotlight, and, like, people called you a fraud, you, like, tried putting yourself online, and it just fell flat. Any of those things. So, one, that stranger danger, two, the separation from community, and three, past negative experiences. Those are all going to tell you, don't do this, right? Don't get into your celebrity energy. So in order to get through it, the first thing. And this, like, sounds so simple, but you really have to get clear on, like, the first thing that I always have my clients do is just get really clear on what that desire is that you really actually want. Like, if there were no fears there, what would you want? Right? And come up with that vision. As soon as you have that vision, that's when your brain's going to give you all of the reasons that it's impossible, right? All of the doubts and all of the resistance, right? I'm shy. I've had this negative experience. Like, who am I to be that person? And that's where, like, I really suggest that people get really intimate with those fears and just, like, write them all down and really just like, word vomit. What are all of the things that my brain is afraid of here? Right? And really just like, kind of shine a light in the dark closet, like, look under the bed, see what. What fears are creeping out. Because the issue that most people have is they don't even realize that they have these fears. And they don't see them as a fear. They just see them as a circumstance, right? So, like, for example, we'll say, oh, I'm just an anxious person, when really, what's underneath that is, no, I'm afraid of getting my heart stomped on, right? Or, like, I'm afraid of being rejected by my peers or Whatever. So getting like really clear of like, and honestly even going to that worst case scenario and looking at like, what is this fear that I have? What is it protecting me from? So the first thing is always just getting like so, so clear on that. But then the, the, the thing from there is that I always recommend my clients do is really be compassionate with yourself for having those doubts, for having those fears for like, for that coming up. Because I think what can happen and I don't know if this is you. My clients are like so self aware and so a lot of the times they're like talking to me and they're like, yeah, I know that I'm afraid and I'm getting in my own way and I'm not really doing this and that I'm not putting myself out there. But then they like beat themselves up for that. Right. And that's just going to create even like that's not the vibe. Right. That's not going to make you magnetic. That's not going to like help you to, for people want to be around you. So then the third thing from there though, after you kind of give yourself compassion for it, is really just to process those emotions. And this is, you know, that's breathwork, that's mindfulness, that's meditation, that's exercise. It's all the things that you don't want to do that like everyone, it's like they're not really that hard, but they feel like the hardest thing in the world to like actually sit down and do do. Because at the end of the day, anything we do or don't do is either so that we'll feel a certain way or so that we don't feel a certain way. Right. We put ourselves, we like avoid putting ourselves out there to avoid feeling embarrassed or to avoid feeling shame or to avoid being rejected. And if you can actually just feel that feeling, it's going to show your body. Oh, it's actually safe for me to proceed forward and like these fears are not valid. Does that make sense? Yeah.

Can we talk about feel the feelings for a second? Because I actually think that's like a very important part of celebrity energy. And for a lot of people that like feel like, like they're driven to accomplish things that oftentimes they are void of like the actual feeling part of going for their goals. And so I would love to hear kind of your thoughts around where do feelings and emotion come into play as it pertains to celebrity energy and tapping into it?

Yeah. So I mean, it's really it's everything, right? Like, it. To me, it's. Your energy is going to be. And the feelings that you're feeling, it's like, that's going to make the difference. That's what makes or breaks a performance. That's what makes or breaks. It's like, it's. You can literally sing this the exact same notes, but if you're feeling afraid, it's the same thing as, like, if you go on a date with someone, they check all the boxes, but they give you the ick. It's because they're think they're. That person is feeling desperate, right? That person is feeling anxious or whatever. And so they're then instead of having processed those emotions, they just are like, kind of like regurgitating them and throwing them back on you. It's like, you know, it's kind of that, like, you could go to a grocery store and there's some, like, old lady with a bunch of coupons who's like, in a bad mood and she can say, have a nice day, but you can tell that she, like, actually means, like, off kind of thing. And so, yeah, that's really, like, the work is, can you process through those emotions so that people can perceive you? Because, I mean, the other example is like, if you were thinking about, like, I used to live in New York City, and when I was on the subway late at night, if someone scary got on the subway and I can't leave, I would just shut down my energy, right? Because I was like, I don't want this person to talk to me. So I would, like, shrink in and I would become invisible. That's a protection mechanism. So that's what our brains, that's what our energy field does. Anytime we're feeling, like, a negative emotion or fear that we can't have the things that we want. And so, yeah, I mean, the work really, to me, I think is kind of everything is in terms of attracting a relationship, a fan base, an audience, whatever. It's all going to be about feeling safe and processing through the fears that tell you that you can't have what you want. Does that make sense?

Yeah, definitely. How, when you're talking with your clients, how do you help them find safety within themselves? Right? Because I think, like, sometimes, like, when we're hearing you say, yeah, this is about finding, you know, feeling safe, oftentimes the outside world doesn't feel so safe, right? Or like, yeah, if we are thinking about dating men or the. The people that you're dating, they don't feel safe, right? So What I know as a dating coach is that you'd be surprised what safety, what we can do to find safety within ourselves as well as, like, what boundaries we need to have within ourselves and then with the outside world. So what do you. How do you help your clients find safety within themselves?

Yeah, I think that's a great question. I think probably really similar to what you say, which is. And what you teach. A lot of it does come down. It's all going to come down to the relationship that you have to yourself. So what that means is, like, are you a soft place to land every time you have a fail, every time you put yourself out there and it doesn't go your way? How are you talking to yourself? How are you treating yourself at the end of the day? Like, I've had so much grief in my life, like, through losing partners, losing a parent, losing my entire community, losing my identity. And at the end of the day, all we fucking have is our relationship to ourself. And so if that is what is solid, then that's going to be able to be the thing that continues to move you forward. And part of this is kind of. It is twofold because it's. I'm open to will and willing to let people in because I'm also going to set really strict boundaries. And I'm also going to say, okay, this is not okay. This is okay. And. And a boundary to me is an. Is an opportunity for someone to opt in. But it's never like. It's like, hey, this is the expectation. Do you want to come in or do you want to come out? And I think that the bigger that I. That my audience grows and that the bigger. More my celebrity grows, those boundaries become more and more strict. Right? Like, I think at the beginning of my journey, a lot of it was like, does this feel terrible or okay? And now it's like, does it feel like a hell yes? Because if not, then it's a hell no. Right? And just getting, like, more and more strict on, like, what's allowed in and what's not. And I think that as you set and keep those boundaries with yourself, that's what creates that safety within yourself. And also just believing.

Like, as you continue. For me, my relationship with myself has greatly improved as I continuously set and hit goals. Like, for me, that's actually why I love goal setting, is because it shows me who I am and it shows me who, like, I've chosen to be and who I. How I chose to show up in this world. And that creates a lot of safety for myself because I know that I can trust myself and I know that I can have my own back. But yeah, I think to your point, it's like that safety, it's like it has to come internally first. And we always think I'll feel safe when X, Y and Z, or I'll feel relieved when X, Y and Z. I notice a lot of my clients, they think that once they're famous, then they're going to feel safe or that's when. Then they're going to feel like they're not a fraud. It's like we're looking for this external evidence that we can believe. Like, I am who I say I am, when the truth is, you have to believe that about yourself first and be so, like, stubborn about it in spite of what everyone else is saying and in spite of the past evidence that you've had and in pat. In spite of, like, the. The negative things. And it is. It can be a really lonely journey. That's why, like, I'm such a. Like, I'm just always going to be a person with a life coach, because I'm just, like, I just always want someone's eyes on my brain and I always want to have the support. But it really, like, especially as you're growing, especially as you're evolving, when you're breaking, like, for me, it was breaking generational patterns. I didn't have, like, a family that really understood and supported it. And so. And like, my friend group has shifted a lot. Like, it just. It is kind of like it's transcending your past. Like, if you want to break generational patterns and you want to create fame, you want to create money, you want to create, like, you know, generational wealth you're going to have, and you don't. You haven't had that, then it's going to be a lonely journey. And so the only thing you really have is to be able to like, like, be like, almost like, stubborn in your belief about yourself.

I love that. I love that as we think about kind of the dating aspect of it, I. I think everything translates, right? That, like, you, a lot of people think, oh, my God, just because I get into our relationship, it's going to be happily ever after, right? Just like, let's call it love famous, right? When we become love famous, everything's going to be fine. When in reality, I always tell my clients, like, that's actually when the real work starts. Like, like, everything else was kind of child's play because it didn't really matter. There weren't things to lose, right? There are always things to gain. And so when you do become famous, or in this instance, love famous, there's actually things to lose because you care more, because you more. Right? And so I want to talk a little bit about that because I do agree with you when you say, oh, my God, everybody's, like, striving for this famous thing. But, like, when you get there, it's, one, it's lonely, right? But two, like, in your experience, what are people really looking for? What are they really trying to gain when they're trying to become famous? I'm sure some of it is money, right? But what is. What are some of the things that you hear from your clients about? Like, what are the. The really underlying reasons for this?

It's like. And this sounds kind of like jaded and sad, but, like, at the end of the day, the desire typically comes from not believing that you're seen as for who you authentically are. And so it's almost like you're trying to get. It's like, okay, if you had trauma growing up around money, then you're gonna try and make as much money as you can to make sure you never, like, have that issue again. It's the same with fame. A lot of the time where it's like, you get. It's like, I wasn't seen for who I am or I was rejected for who I am. So let me let the. It's like it's the subconscious part of our brain that's like, if I have 500,000 people telling. Saying that they like me by putting their attention on me, right? By following me or by whatever, it's like we subconsciously think, then I'll think that I'm valid, that then I'll think that I'm valuable, and that's when I'll think that I'm lovable. So I love that.

I just want to kind of chime in here because I think it's really important. And why, for so many of you all that are listening, why this whole love thing and relationship thing and dating thing is so important, Right? I know that it's on a lot of people's social media feeds, and it kind of permeates the Internet and it. And to your point, it is. I didn't feel seen. I didn't get the attention. I didn't get the love, the quality time that I so wanted and deserved from not just dad, Right. But also mom, and also that emotional safety and searching for it in our potential or future partners. And so Everything that you're saying here is so aligned with dating, but once you get into the relationship, it's like, okay, now what?

A hundred percent. Yeah. And, like, I think also just having this is a connection I guess I'll make to dating is like, I did the thing where I attracted a partner who, you know, was also emotionally unavailable because that's what I had seen as being safe. Right. And so then I was in this. This really long marriage of being in an emotionally unavailable thing. And it actually feels more vulnerable for me now being in the dating pool to act like it feels. It's, like, counterintuitive because we would think, of course, now I want love. Now I want this, like, amazing relationship. But for me to receive love and, like, an intimate love where I'm really seen by my partner, that actually feels scary because it's different than what I've experienced before. Right. And it's the exact same thing with fame. You might think you want an audience, but if you're doing it. And even for me, it's like, I had a relationship, so from the outside, it, quote, unquote, like, looked like, in theory, I was being seen and, you know, having this relationship. But the truth was, it wasn't there. The same thing can happen with fans. So if you're not showing up really authentically and you don't actually feel safe receiving love, I've seen so many people. Like, a lot of the work that I do is with people who are at the top of their game and they're like, but I created this audience that I hate. Or, like, my music is so unaligned with what I actually care about because I was just doing it because I didn't think it was actually possible to have an audience that loved me for who I authentically am without actually trying. And so the work, I'm sure, is very similar that I'm helping my clients do is just like, can you make peace? Like, can it be safe for you to receive love on a massive scale? And, like, receive an intimate love on a massive scale, which I'm guessing is very similar to what you do.

Totally. Right.

The first step is that you have to understand that you're the star. Right. Like, you have that within you. Right. And. And. And as it pertains to dating ladies that are listening, you have to understand. And most of my audience, I believe, is heterosexual. These men are your fans and your followers.

Yeah.

Right. Many of us are putting them on a pedestal, when in reality, very Bridgerton, they are your suitors. And you have to have the energy to be able to interact with them in a way that still keeps you empowered, that still keeps you in your energy, and you're in your celebrity energy so that you can feel good and you can be your full, authentic self. In the work I do, one of the major hurdles is, and you've mentioned this a couple of times in this episode, about being your authentic self.

Yeah.

A lot of women, a lot of people of color have to.

Code switch.

So I always say, like, we're splitting our personalities. We're one way with our parents. We're one way at work. We're one way with friends. We're one way with our romantic relationships. And part of this work. And what I'm hearing you say as we talk about celebrity energy is also about aligning all of those split itself into one very big, like, unfuck withable energy that just, like, is the sun, as our Grey's Anatomy mentors would say. Right.

I love that 100%. And it is. It's like. I love what you said about, like, it's deciding that you're that person that gets to have it all. And I think for me, it was. I didn't even realize that it was an option to have everyone in my life love me for who I authentically am because I had spent so much of my life hiding that I was used to hiding around in. It's like, hiding, but in different ways. Like. And so I think that the work has just been, like, gradually, like, releasing and letting go of the thing. The. The ways that I was not showing up authentically and letting people opt out if they don't like the version of me that is authentic and the version of me that does want to just, like, take up space and, like, I'm earnest as hell. Like, I'm not gonna. Like, if there's a part of me that's like, playing koi, then it's not. That's not authentic. And so. And I'm past the point of, like, wanting a partner who wants that version of me, if that makes sense.

Definitely. I think before we go, I kind of just want to brainstorm with you in terms of. And maybe we share our own experiences about how we were able to kind of tap into our celebrity energy, because I think that's going to be, like, the biggest hurdle for many of my listeners. I know that once they get past this, there's, like, no stopping them. Right. And so I will share with you that, like, I had to kind of rely on. You know, I grew up, got really great Grades. And that actually became kind of a stepping stone for me to, like, step into and have the confidence to be myself. Because I always felt like, okay, well, I, I have the intellect, I'm smart enough, so if I can do this, I can do that. Right? So I went to the great schools, got the great education, got the good jobs and, and use that. And I think it's like, it's, it's helpful to like, again, not be at all, but be stepping stones to understand, well, I can do this. Right? So, for example, I went to a business school, so, like, got my mba. And that really gave me the confidence to be like, I can have my own business. I can, I can. Which is a part of, like, my celebrity energy now. Right.

How did you. What were your stepping stones to get there? Right. That I think is helpful. We're helpful for you.

I'll be honest. And like, I do get similar questions a lot and I wish I had, like, a clearer answer other than. But I do think it still resonates with the right people, like the people who have had this experience. Hopefully it gives you some hope. Is that for me, my life has just been a series of sucker punches of like, oh, you thought this? No. You thought this? No. And so, and like, really just for me, I feel like it came. A lot of it came from a rock bottom of being like, oh, you thought this was going to happen? No, that's going to be stripped away. You thought this was the thing? No, it's not like, oh, oh, psych. You're accidentally suddenly going to be pregnant now. Like, just.

How do you do the uno reverse? How do you do that? Uno reverse?

Yeah. And so that's a good point because I do think, like, my sister called me out recently because I. Because to me, I look at my past and I'm like, well, for me, I kind of was at a rock bottom and it was like, sink or swim. Figure it out. Like, you kind of just like, I just kind of had to figure it out because all of a sudden I was a single mom with six figures of, like, debt and just, it was like, you gotta figure this out and, like, bet on the things that you preach.

But I also do think it's like, you don't, you don't. So if you've had, if you're at a rock bottom moment, know that that's a great time to pivot. But you also don't have to create a rock bottom in order to, to do the uno reverse.

Right?

And I think, like, now that I'm in such a different place. It's almost. It's not harder, but it's just a different skill because you do kind of have to be like, okay, am I willing to let go of what I have in order to create something new? Right. And am I willing to, like, leave behind a successful career or a successful whatever in order? Because I just want something better and because I just want something more so that sometimes I feel like is more of a challenge. But ultimately, I think it just comes down to rooting into your desire and rooting into, like, what you. What you see in your mind's eye for yourself and, like, just betting on that, like, over and over again.

But I'm also hearing, though, too, which I think is kind of really representative in my life, is that all of these things that are happening for you that happen to you. I'm not going to use the cliche for you, but what I think is. And what I think is so beautiful about how you express yourself in your story is that you don't try to forget it. You don't need it there. You actually bring it along with you. And that, like, being able to come as, like, a very human version of yourself with all of these different things that happen is actually very attractive. Right. And that, like, it. To your point about attraction and celebrity energy, I think we fall in love with the people that are very flawed.

Yes. Okay.

I have gone through some shit, right?

Yeah.

And I say this in dating, too, because so many of us are, like, trying to be perfect before we start dating. And it's like, well, I can admire you, but I can't fall in love with you. I can't, because I can't relate to you.

That's so good. Okay.

Yeah.

I love that. I just had. This man came and he was so sweet. He picked up some furniture that I was selling, and he came to pick it up for his wife. His wife was the one who wanted it. She sent him on a mission to come pick it up. And he was such a sweet guy. I was like, I need to find one of you, like, that single, right? But he made this joke because he was buying my used furniture. He said, yeah, one man's trash is another man's treasure. He said, that's how I found my wife, actually. And I thought that was like, such a funny way. Like, I'm like, to her, maybe she doesn't want to hear that she's being compared to trash. But I was like, to me, that's such a funny way of looking at it because, like, it is so easy to just be like, I, like, like I need to be perfect or I need to be admirable or I need to whatever. And it's like, no, someone wants another man's quote unquote trash, right? Like some the things that make, make like in my brain make me feel like I'm gonna be less desirable or whatever because I'm quote unquote flawed or have had these like crazy life experiences. I'm like, that actually is really valuable to someone. And I am, I want a partner who does see the value in that. I'm like, I don't want someone who's attracted to people who have never been through like, that just seems like a boring person to me, 100%.

I always say this in dating and relationships that like, the things that you like, really don't like or hate about yourself, your partner is actually going to love them and it's going to be really scary. And I think it's the same for fans and followers, right? Like, so interesting. Like when I'm online and people are like, oh my God, I love your voice. It's so soothing, girl. Do you know how much I hated my voice growing up and like how I got teased for it and how it was so feminine and you sound white and all of these other things and now people are like, I fall, I fall asleep to you listening to ASMR Such and I'm like, what girl, stop. So I'm sharing that to say that I think that write those things because I have a lot of perfectionists that are listening to this podcast and if there's anything that I want them to take away from this episode, it is that perfection is boring and it's not going to be attractive. And if you, if you want to continue to do that, girl, that's your life. But if you're going to embody this celebrity energy, right, this main character energy that we are talking about in this episode that will help you to achieve you different heights, we're going to have to do it differently. We're going to have to say the thing that is not pretty imperfect. We're not, we're not going to have to be prim and proper all the time. We're not going to go out and have every hair in place and things like that. So what before we go, do you have anything to say about that?

No, I think you're like, absolutely right. And I think just in terms of like, you know, audience behavior and like the zeitgeist of Hollywood, it's like there's this whole movement right now against canceling celebrities. Right. Specifically, though, that people are tired of people who aren't relatable. People are tired of watching people who just had their head in the clouds and look. Make their lives look perfect. People, actually, now we want audiences or audiences want celebrities. They want content creators. They want to watch people in their imperfect state. And I think that's just, you know, just exactly to your point, it's the same with, like, that's who people want to fall in love with, too.

I love it. Good, good, good, good, good. Whitney, thank you so much for being here. It has been a pleasure. Can you share with the listeners in the audience exactly how they can get in contact with you if they want to work with you, if they want to really embody this celebrity energy?

Yeah. So you can just check me out on the social media. It's just WhitneyUland. And yeah, if you're interested in working with me, you can send me a dm. You can head to the links in my bio. I have mentorship programs as well as digital courses. If you prefer doing this work at your own pace.

Yeah, definitely. And we'll have all that information in your in the show notes for this episode. Thank you so much for being here. There was a little bit of drama people beforehand. We were not technology people, so we had some link issues, but we made it happen.

Girl, I'm so happy our teams made it happen.

Yes, this is true, this is true. We are only as strong as our teams.

Yes, 100%. Well, thank you so much for having me.

You're so welcome. All right, ladies, I hope that this was helpful for you. Please, please, please, please, please, please get into your celebrity energy right now, this weekend and message me, email me, let me know how it goes. All right, Bye bye.

Hey, girl. Thank you so much for listening to the get your guy coaching podcast. If you like this episode and want to talk with me personally, please book a free consultation at www.getyourguycoaching.com. apply or subscribe and leave me a review. Wherever you listen to your podcasts, talk soon.