Dating Strategy To Get Your Guy

Hey, girl. Welcome to the get yout Guy coaching podcast. My name is Anwar White, but you can just call me your own personal dating and relationship coach. Each week you'll hear actionable advice, tips and strategies that you can implement in your own love life. I'm talking about healing your heart, dating effectively and understanding men so that you can, you guessed it, get your guy. I. Are you ready to level up your love life? Alright, let's go.

Hey, my love. So I recently did a virtual summit and in that summit I talked all about dating strategies to get your guy. And so I wanted to share this with you because I thought that the information that I was spilling was very relevant for you. And I wanted you to have that so that you can use that leverage that implement it in your own dating life so that you can get your guy as well. So without further ado, here is my presentation. Hope you like it.

Well, I wanted to talk a little bit about dating strategies to get your guy. I think that. And the reason why I want to talk about this is because I literally have conversations with women every day and the one question that I ask them is, what is your strategy? And they never have a strategy. We have a strategy for everything in our lives, right? Just think, professionally, you would never go into work and not know exactly how to do that project, how to talk to that client, whatever. So it's very curious that you would not have a strategy in your love life, which is such an important part of our lives. So part of this work that I think is so important is to come up and have some strategies so that you know what to expect. Because if you don't have a strategy, what will happen is you will abdicate or give away your power because you don't know what to do. Well, thank you so much for having me.

Again, like I was saying before, I.

Really want to talk about strategy because being strategic about love, and I know that that sounds so unromantic, it is not a rom com, it is not a Disney movie.

But in this day and age, we.

Actually have to date differently because there's so much choice.

Right?

We live in a globalized society and economy and it's the same for dating as well. So we have to have frameworks and guidelines in order to actually get successful in our dating journeys. And so that's one of the things.

That I want to talk about today. So I'm going to talk about a.

Variety of different things today that I want you to think about as we move forward in your love journey. And it might Sound very different than how you've done things before. But I just want to offer that that is ok. That at the end of the day, we get to date differently, to actually have different results. Yeah. And better and potentially more positive results.

So I want us to just open.

Our minds, open our hearts to a different way of doing things.

Ok. So I'm going to go through a.

Variety of different subjects. And if you want to fight me, that's good. Because resistance means that I'm hitting a certain nerve. And I want us to. If we are feeling like, oh, I.

Don'T want to do that. Let's sit in that.

Yeah, that's. That's where the breakthroughs and the learning and the healing comes up and begins. Okay. All right, so let's talk about dating strategies. So we're out in these dating streets and we want to get our guy. I think one of the first things that we can do is we need to cut off all of our exes. Absolutely. All of them. And I know some of you have some numbers in your phone just in case that guy in high school. That if we're. If we're both 35 and we're not married, then we'll connect and come back together.

We can't do that. We actually have to cut off all.

Past experiences and exes.

And the reason I say this is because if you are literally tethered or held with all of these different connections, it's going to be very difficult for you to move forward and find and get your guy because you're going to be held back by all of these different shoulda, coulda, woulda's.

Right.

And I just want you to think about this, your future guy. And when you're with him, do you think that he's going to want you to have access or these guys that have access to you when you all are together? The answer is no. He's not going to want that.

Right.

So we have to keep ourselves open to this new possibility, this new guy that is going to be your guy. And I know I'm hearing some of you already say, but we're cool. We're friends.

If he wasn't good enough to be your boyfriend, he's not good enough to be your friend.

Yeah.

The difference, we shouldn't have different criteria for boyfriends and friends. If you guys were not connecting, if you did not feel emotionally safe with him, if he was there sometimes not there, other times, he's not safe enough to be your friend.

Okay.

Let them go. And I know that sometimes it can be very hard for us to let guys go. Right. It's what I call scarcity, love mindset where we are so, like, we're grasping onto certain individuals and certain people because we feel like there won't be anything bigger and better and greater out there. But the thing about holding on to what I call level four, level five loves out of a scale of 10, is if you stay there for long enough, that will actually become your upper limit. Right. Where when you engage with men that are at a level four, level five in the future, you're going to be like, oh, great. Or even a level six because he's better than the last guy. Right. You're going to, oh, my God, this guy's amazing. When in reality he's just a level six. When it's actually better to not have anyone. Right. And have this complete potential for a level 10, then stay at a level 4 or 5. That's why we have to let these level 4, level 5 guys go as we talk about unlimited possibilities. Right in love. So we have to let go of the X's. Alrighty. Okay. That's the first thing now that we've done that, let's talk about actually casting your net wide. I know it is. I know what you guys are doing. When you're dating, you have a list. You're looking for certain things on these profiles, and if they don't have them, you're not giving them any time of day.

Yeah.

Because you have a certain idea of what it's going to look like. And I have been a dating coach for over 10 years, and I will let you know that 90% of the time, it doesn't look like the way that you imagined it to look like. And that's okay. As long as it actually feels the way that you imagined it to feel like you're good to go, girl.

Yeah.

So what I want to offer to you is that we are going to have to cast our nets wider than we're used to. And I get it. This is what I hear a lot. You'll have to let me know if this resonates with you. I want a guy that makes six figures. Okay, great. That's literally 12% of the population. I want a guy who is 6ft or taller. Great. That's another 9% of the population. Or 9 or 10% of the population. I want a guy with a graduate degree. No problem. That's another 12% of the population. And if we add all of those things up and just look at the men that are between the ages of 30 and 50 years old, which is around 40%. And I was a statistics undergrad major. You're looking at less than 1%.

Less than a tenth of a person. Actually, it's like 0.07%.

When you tell me that it is very difficult for you to find a man, I understand. Because of the criteria that you are setting forth. When in reality, a lot of those things actually do not correlate with a successful relationship outcome. Yeah, this is why I'm talking about actually widening our nets. Because GUESS what, it's 2022. It's not 1970s anymore where you as a woman could not even have a bank account in your own name. You have immense opportunity and you're making your own money. So if you're making your own money, do you need him to make money for you? Probably not. Does it matter that he makes 100k versus 90k? Does it matter that he's 510 versus 6:1? Because I want you to date for a relationship that is going to last 40 years. So if you're 30 or 35 now and you're 70, 75, are you going to care that he's 510 versus 6.

1.

Are you going to care that at that point when you met him, he made 80k instead of 120k?

Right.

Probably not. So I want us to be open to that because when we're open to it, we're going to be able to engage with a larger population within the dating pool, which is going to be very important. This is when I was talking about love scarcity, and we're only focusing on that 0.07%. So when we have those guys that check off all of those boxes, we want to grasp onto them. It doesn't matter how they treat us. Right. We have to widen our net so that it feels safe and it feels good. All right, so we're cutting off our X's and we are casting our nets wide, wide, wide. Okay, next strategy. I'm going to need us to get super clear on who we are and what we need in dating.

Yeah.

Because oftentimes we don't. We don't know. Just like I talked about your list of what you, what you wanted, it's not what you need. So we actually have to get clear on our relationship needs and not our relationship wants. And the best way that I think is really helpful in understanding what you need in a relationship is thinking about all of the things that you didn't receive from your parental relationships. Right. Whether that's attention, whether that's nurturing, whether that's being cherished, whether that is like boundaries, whether that is unconditional love, whether that is dependability and consistency, whether that is basic life skills. Right? We have to get clear on what those things are so that we can accurately assess if these guys are hitting our actual needs. Because those needs, the things that I just talked about, and there are other things as well, are the things that are going to actually help you have a longstanding, healthy relationship. So let's get really clear on what those things are. Right? And here there's probably a lot of them. But I think it's really important to focus on your top three because those top three are probably going to represent like 80% of all of your needs. Getting clear on all of those different things and when you're doing this analysis, being very honest about what your parents didn't give you, the inclination is to protect our parents and to say that they did the best that they could. They were great parents. I had a great childhood. No childhood is perfect. We all have needs that were not satisfied. It's probably why you are so driven and successful now, because you had to rely on yourself to satisfy your own needs instead of rely on other people to help you satisfy those needs. So let's get clear on what those needs are so that we can accurately assess how these guys are actually stacking up to those needs.

Okay?

So I hope that helps you as you clarify, like, what do I actually need in a relationship? You don't. Who cares about the height, the money, all of that. The other thing that I think is going to be very important for you to get clear about as we're being more strategic about dating, is what is your dominant energy? Right. Are you very much in your masculine energy or are you in your feminine energy?

In my experience, 80 to 90% of my clients who are high achieving women have been in their masculine energy. I mean, that is how you do well in careers, right? We do, we execute, we strategize. All of that is our masculine energy. And you get paid to judge, right? But in dating, it's not about the judgment, it's about the acceptance. So learning how to be more accepting is going to be really important. Am I saying that you need to be in your dominant feminine energy, which is all about nurturing, which is all about expression of emotions and needs? No, that's not what I'm saying at all. What I'm saying is let's get very clear on what energy you're going to feel most comfortable with right now because that's going to affect who we're going to date moving forward. If you want to be in your masculine energy and you want to do, do, do, do, do, and just don't let my feminine mannerisms fool you. I am the masculine energy in my marriage.

Do it, girl. Do it. It's 2022. We get to do whatever the hell we want to do. What that means, though, is that we are going to have to look for partners that are more in their dominant feminine energy.

Because there's a yin and there's a yang to love.

So many of us are looking for our clone just like us. And if you're in your masculine energy and he's in his masculine energy, one of two things will happen. One, you guys will either bump heads because you guys are both trying to lead, or Two, he will regress into a teenage boy and you will start mothering him. Both are really annoying and unsafe.

Right. So if you're in your masculine energy, you're going to have to find a more dominant, energetic man. Feminine, energetic man, which means the nurses, the social workers, the therapists, the teachers, even the artists. Right. Are more in their nurturing, emotional center.

You want to think about this. Like, I'm sure you all have heard the 8020 rule, right? 80% of the guys out there in their masculine energy, only 20% are in their feminine energy. That's changing as society changes. But I want to share that with you so that you understand that this isn't. This energetic feminine guy is not plentiful out there or as plentiful as you may think.

Right.

Most guys are in their masculine energy. And in my experience, most women actually are trying to learn how to be in their feminine energy. So let's talk a little bit about that so that when you are engaging with men, you know what that looks like. Yeah. There are different levels of feminine energy. Right? There is. I want to say level one, which is the, like, no boundaries, very clingy, very naggy. The girl who calls him all the time, texts him all the time because she just needs him.

And I'm not shading her. I was her. So.

Why am I saying this? I'm saying this because that is going to turn a guy off because he is going to feel like he has the responsibility of all of you on his shoulders. And that can be really overwhelming for most guys.

Yeah.

So that is like level one of feminine energy. The second level, which I'm pretty sure the majority of you are at, is Ms. Independent, where I'm doing everything on my own. I don't need you. And when you literally let him know if he offers and you're like, no, no, I got it. I got it. Hey, let me. Let me carry those groceries in for you. Hey, let me carry your suitcase in for you. No, no, no, I got it. I'm fine.

You are rejecting him. That is received as a rejection. He is trying to please you. Because for men, pleasing you pleases them. So when you don't allow them, they're going to feel like they have no value in your life, and they're going to step away and they're going to find someone who they can feel valuable with. Yeah, you hear it all the time. I was with this guy for three, four years, and then we broke up. And then six months later, he's getting engaged with someone else because he feels valuable with her. Guys want to be gassed up. My acronym. The acronym gas. They want to feel good. They want to feel accepted, and they want to feel strong. And if they're not able to feel that way, they're going to find opportunities to actually feel that way. They don't care about your degrees, they don't care about your career. They don't care about any of that. The. The only thing that they care about is do they feel good when they're around you. That's it.

Yeah.

Okay, so Ms. Independent is the second level of femininity. The third and the final level is.

I can do it on my own, but I'm going to allow you to do it for me.

Yeah, sure.

Go ahead. Why is that amazing? It's amazing because you get to take some things off of your plate and off of your shoulders so that you don't have to be as stressed. And he gets to do for you, which pleases him because he's pleasing you and he gets to feel valuable.

Yeah.

So part of this work, right, for so many of my clients, is learning how to get to that level, that.

Level three, that highest level. Yeah.

And sometimes it can feel really unsafe because if I let him do things for me, it means that I owe him.

Guess what? You don't. All he wants is acknowledgement and a thank you. That's it. That's the only thing that's going to make him feel great.

Yeah.

That's all that you need to give him.

And if you don't believe me, try it out for yourself. Okay, so we talked about your relationship needs, and we talked about getting really clear on your energy in terms of getting clarity on how you're showing up in these dating streets.

Yeah.

So that's the. That's the. That was the last chapter. The next. The strategy that I want to talk about is now that we're. Now that we've cut off the X's, now that in our minds we are so open. Right. And now that we're really clear on our needs and how we're going to show up on dating, now I want us to actually think about how we're going to date. Like, what are the actual tactics? Right. So I am of the mindset that we want to do both online and offline.

Right.

That we want to do it in parallel and online. I always tell my clients to have, like two sites. Right. My favorites are Hinge and Match.

And Coffee Meets Bagel. For various reasons, I think that men are generally more serious and Hinge and Match per Se and Coffee Meets Bagel. But these apps are like gyms, physical gyms. Like, they all have the same equipment. It doesn't really matter as much. It matters about how you work the equipment.

Right.

What consistency you bring to your. To the work. Right. And who you become in the process of engaging in with these apps. I'm not a really huge fan of Bumble. I just want to say that really quickly because.

It actually attracts, in general, lazier and more narcissistic men because they don't have to do anything. They literally have to sit on their butts and wait for you to do all of the work. And so, so many women get frustrated with Bumble because they engage with men. And then afterward they're like, well, he's not doing anything.

Yeah.

Because he never had to. Right. So I'm not. That's why I'm not a huge fan of Bumble. But if you love Bumble, then I love it for you as well. Yeah. Okay, so let's talk a little bit more about Offline.

Yeah.

I think it is very important for you to find consistent places that you can be your best in. Yeah. Sometimes people are like, well, I'm going to go here because I want to find a man. Yeah. I mean, girl, you can go to the Apple store, you can go to Home Depot, but they're not going to see you at your best. Right. What I want you to do is find those hobbies, those pastimes that you love so much. If you love hiking, then you better be at the hiking club.

Right.

If you love sports, if you love softball, you better be on that co ed softball team because you're going to be at your Best when you are doing those activities. And that is where and how you want these men to be actually experiencing you. Not thirsty? Going around Home Depot aisles, right? No, I'm saying that because there are a lot of dating coaches out there that are like, yeah. And then go to like a hotel room restaurant or an airport lounge. Are you going to be your best there? I don't know. I don't think so.

Right.

So online and offline.

Yeah.

Let's talk about how I want you to date. And this is where I get a lot of pushback. I want you to what I call Olympic date. I want you to have a gold medalist, I want you to have a silver medalist, and I want you to have a bronze medalist. And I want you to date multiple men. And I know that so many times women are conditioned to only hyper focus on one man.

That is going to hurt you when you are finding love. Especially when you have millions of billions of men on this planet. Right. Why do I say this? I say this because it protects your heart. Because just because one guy's not doing what he's like, he's not doing anything, you'll still have a couple of guys that you can focus on.

Yeah.

I know that oftentimes women who date multiple men are considered sluts and whores. But realize that is patriarchy and that is conditioning so that men can have power in this area of your lives. Men will get mad at you for dating multiple men, but it's because they actually have to prove themselves and do the work to be with you that they're not mad at you. They're mad at the fact that they don't have to. They can't rest on their laurels anymore. And if those, the men that you share that you're dating multiple men, if they ask you, they get mad, that's a red flag and it's time for you to exit and leave. It means that he, he doesn't want to do anything to be with you. And that's the man that you actually deserve. Right. Think about it like this, right? The best stock brokers and hedge fund managing partners always diversify their portfolio. So I want you to diversify your love portfolio so that if one stock plummets, you got a lot of other stocks that are going to actually compensate for that.

Right.

I want to let you know that so often when you hyper focus on one guy, you are waiting to be chosen. And what I want to do and what I try to impart for my clients is I actually want you to do the choosing, especially in 2022, you get to do that now. And with your Olympians, you're always going to be in the power position to choose instead of waiting to be chosen. I think about it like this. You are the CEO of your love life, right?

You're not the intern. And many of you have been acting like the intern, working hard to get the job. These men are the interns.

You're the CEO.

And if they do the job well in the courtship phase, they will get the actual job and you will let them know that they. They've gotten the job or not. I want us to kind of reframe all of this instead of proving yourself, because I know you've worked hard all of your life. You've proven yourself. You've gotten the great grades, you've gotten the great career. And so you're in this notion of always having to prove yourself in love. I want you to actually let that go and I want you to let others prove themselves to you. Yeah. That's part of the work, though. Okay, so you're the CEO and these men, or whomever you are dating are the interns wanting to get your love job. Okay. Finally, when we are actually dating, when we're talking with these guys, right? Or whoever you're dating.

I want you to be yourself. I know that sounds so cliche, of course. Be yourself. Oh, my God.

No.

Be yourself. Why am I saying this? I'm saying this because women perform for men. That is how women have been conditioned to engage with men forever. Just think about the cartoons. Think about when a guy comes over and your body language might change. You might put your shoulders up, you might show your neck, your voice might change, your eyes might change. That's all performance.

Right?

Being yourself is the best strategy that you can have in dating because then you will have an accurate assessment of if this guy likes you for you or he's liking your facade. And here's the thing, you can't keep that facade forever. So what will happen if you start to have this facade and this happens around the two to three month mark is you'll slowly become yourself and you will be different than what he got to know you to be, Right? And you will lose your credence. He will not know who he's with because you are showing different sides of yourself. Start with yourself from the beginning and be consistent so that he knows exactly what he is actually engaging with. Now, dating is supposed to be polarizing. You want to be the cardi b or the Donald Trump of dating. You want them to either love you or hate you. It makes your job much easier to let these guys go or to continue to engage with them. Yeah. So just know that, like.

It'S okay if they, if they're not feeling you or if it's not a match. 90% of these men won't be a match. I've had some clients, like techie clients, that they've actually done the analysis and they have proven in 100 conversations that they've had on average, 97% of the conversations amount to nothing. And only 3% of the conversations that they've had amounted to having three or more dates with a guy. So I want to let you know the statistics of the love game so that you're not taking an unmatched or a non match personally. That actually it's part of the dating. But you have to be yourself to actually have those statistics matter. Because what will happen is if you're faking the funk and you're trying to be what you think he likes or what he wants, you're going to engage with 50% of the guys and you're going to get disappointed so much more because you're investing so much into engagements or interactions that never had a chance to begin with. That's what creates the disappointment and the exhaustion. Not being yourself and engaging with these men that are not the ones. And that's where we start. We do the start and stop of dating and that's when you lose your dating momentum. Yeah. So be yourself. The best way that I think you can be yourself is to pretend that the other person on the other side of the table is your best friend. Or before a date, call your best friend. So you're already in the mode of being yourself and you're talking about the things that you love. Like I love the Real Housewives. Right. I love reality tv, so Survivor and Big Brother. So those are the things that I'm going to talk about because those are the things that I love and those are the things that are going to light me up. And you want your partner to see you lit up.

Yeah.

And being yourself. So sometimes you're going to have to imagine that that person is your best friend and act as if so that they can see the real you instead of this interview buttoned up version of yourself that nobody likes. Not even yourself. Yeah. Okay. Now that we're going to be ourselves, the other thing that I want us to really focus on because I think it's an opportunity for a lot of successful women is learning how to be vulnerable yeah. Vulnerability is everything in dating. It's the biggest superpower that you can have beyond just being yourself. Why do I say that? I say that because it is how you will deeply connect with a man at the end of the day because of the patriarchy. The patriarchy sucks for everybody. He is not going to be vulnerable initially, and it is within your vulnerability that. That you initiate that he's going to be inspired to share his vulnerability. And that's how we deeply connect with each other. If you're not able to do that, you won't deeply connect with a man. And you will realize in your experience, if you think about it, that oftentimes those things will lead to sex. Because in sex and in intimacy, we're trying to connect, but we don't have the emotional tools to do so. So we're trying to do it physically.

Yeah.

Once we actually learn how to emotionally connect, we'll be able to deeply connect with men and have many more opportunities to find our guy. When I'm talking about being vulnerable, I'm not talking about talking about the things that have happened, the factual things. That represents around 60% of conversations. I'm not talking about sharing your perspective of your opinions or your opinions. That's like 30% of conversation. I'm talking about your feelings. It's not enough to say, hey, I went to boarding school. It's a fact. Great. I can't really do much with that. That's cool. That's interesting. We go a layer deeper and we talk about our thoughts and opinions about that. It was a really great educational experience, and I was able to. I think I was able to, you know, network and have different circles that I engage with another level of vulnerability. The deepest level of vulnerability that I want us to share in is actually sharing our feelings, which only represent about 10% of conversations. Oftentimes I felt a little bit alienated because I was the only person of color at the boarding school. I felt alone. Often. You know so much more about me now than you did when I just told you that I went to boarding school.

Right.

And now that I'm sharing this, he's going to feel like he needs to share this. Law of reciprocity. Right. That's how we deeply connect. Okay, so let's be vulnerable. Yeah. The other reason why I want us to be vulnerable is because his response to your vulnerability will let you know everything that you need to know about his emotional sensitivity and availability. If you share something vulnerable and then he just redirects the conversation to himself or he Dismisses it or he invalidates it. He's not safe emotionally, and you need to step away. So many of us are not being vulnerable, so we don't get to see this side of him up front. We only see it later on when we feel safe around him, when he's made us feel safe. You've got to learn how to be safe on your own, emotionally safe on your own. I want us to save that time a little bit. I want us to be vulnerable. Have vulnerable moments in date one, day two, and especially date three.

And observe what that response is. Same with boundaries as well. I want us to set boundaries because his response to your boundary will tell you everything that you need to know about his emotional safety. If you don't have the language for that. One of the things that I share with my clients is we can either say our boundary in the terms of I would prefer if or I would be most comfortable if.

Yeah.

His response to that boundary will tell you everything that you need to know. Right. Vulnerability, setting boundaries. And here's the thing. You're going to have to set boundaries with any guy that you talk to because he doesn't know you and he doesn't know what you need and what you want. When he is coming into this courtship, he's coming into it with past experiences of what other women have liked in the past. But it doesn't necessarily mean that it's going to be what you like most of the time. He's not, like, doing things with ill intent. He's doing things because that pleased women in the past. So you're going to have to set boundaries to let him know what you would prefer and what you would like.

Yeah.

So when dating, we're going to be ourselves, we're going to be vulnerable, and we're going to set boundaries. The last thing that I want to talk about, and you guys might fight me again. That's fine. Is.

I want us to deprioritize the spark and the butterflies and the chemistry.

Yeah.

Why am I saying this? I want us to actually focus on the slow burn. I'm saying this because I think that oftentimes if a guy is a serial dater or a narcissist or a toxic person, he's going to be very charismatic and he's going to be able to have chemistry with everybody. It's actually not that special to these kinds of men. And when we are focused on the chemistry and the vibe, we're thinking that this is meant to be. When in reality, he literally does this every day. And it doesn't actually mean that you all are meant to be, but you will take it as such. I want us to see. I'm actually more focused on his response to the vulnerability and the boundaries above. If you guys like the same things and you guys are talking about the same things in connect on. On board games. Right. Why? Because.

When you are engaging with men.

The butterflies that one generally feels, that's anxiety. That's nervousness. It's actually chemicals that will mess with your brain and you won't be able to actually make sound decisions. Oftentimes when I am talking with my clients, there's a sense of calm when they're with a person.

Yeah.

And I want us to look for that. This calmness is because I can feel like I can be myself and I don't have to put on any airs.

Right.

Instead of looking for how we vibe. Because your emotional safety is everything.

Oftentimes we think the butterflies and the spark is excitement. And some of it is, I'm not here to lie to you. But other times or most of the time, it's anxiety. It's like. It's kind of like an actor about to go on stage.

Yeah.

Or it's like back in high school when you wanted to talk to the quarterback of the varsity team and you're in, you know, honors chem, you're not nervous around the guy that's sitting in the front row with you. In honors chemistry, you're totally yourself, and you show all of yourself to him, but you're nervous around the quarterback. You got the butterflies. Right. So I want us to think about it in that way. I'm talking about the slow burn because.

So often.

Many of my clients. So after my clients have dates, we actually talk through the dates about them, and I always ask them to rate their dates. So often they'll rate a date a 6 out of 10. Generally, I say if it's a 6 or above, let's continue to engage to see if there's growth there. I call this the paradox of sixes, because so often it starts at a 6 and it grows to a 9 or a 10 after a few weeks. That's what we call the slow burn. And it's able to grow because we're able to be more emotionally connected and vulnerable and safe.

Yeah.

And oftentimes guys at the very beginning aren't obviously not going to be able to show all of those sides. But with time and with recency bias and exposure bias, that's able to change. Yeah. So I'm not saying chemistry is nothing, but I do think that we should deprioritize it. Maybe it's not number one. Maybe compatibility and emotional safety should be number one.

I hope that that helps you as you think about your dating strategies. We talked about letting go of all of the exes, cutting them off. We talked about casting your net wide wide wide wide wide. We've talked about getting clear on your needs and your energy. We talked about actual dating strategies, online, offline Olympic dating and being the CEO. And finally we talked about how you're supposed to show up when you're actually on dates, being yourself, being vulnerable, setting boundaries and observing for the slow burn and not prioritizing the spark. Now I hope that helps when you are approaching your love life because I know that my clients have been able to master these things and that's why 90% of them get an amazing relationship within my six month program. So I hope you take these run with them girl. And I wish so much for listening to the get your guy coach when it comes to love dating. And if you like this episode and want to talk.