Kiki-ing on the 100th Episode

Hey, girl. Welcome to the GetYourGuy coaching podcast. My name is Anwar White, but you can just call me your own personal dating and relationship coach. Each week, you'll hear actionable advice, tips, and strategies that you can implement in your own love life. I'm talking about healing your heart, dating effectively, and understanding men so that you can. You guessed it. Get your guy. Are you ready to level up your love life? All right, let's go.

Hello.

Hello. Hello, everyone. I just want to welcome you to my hundredth episode. I appreciate all of the love and the support and you following me throughout this journey, and I hope that you've received a lot of value from the episodes that I've been able to put out. It's been a. A labor of love, and I hope that you truly appreciate it. It has been an honor to share these hundred episodes with you, and here's to a hundred more. So for this session, I just wanted to kiki with you. I'm sharing a live that I did at the beginning or toward the new year, and I think it has a lot of value. And so I thought you might get a lot of information, but also a bit of fun. So without further ado, I hope you enjoy.

All right, tell all the ladies.

Good luck on your.

On your dating journeys.

Good luck on your. All of your dating journeys. Yes.

T said, whose white baby is that? Honey, this is my baby.

My baby. So one thing that y' all don't understand is that my partner and I have done surrogacy.

Okay?

People are saying, thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. Yes.

You're welcome.

Good. All right. Go ahead with your. With your brother and sister. Okay.

Bye.

Good luck to you.

Mari said, will we get a partner reveal? No, honey, he's not about that life. Right. Get you somebody who doesn't want to take the limelight. Simone Biles. Yeah.

Yes, honey.

She's one of three.

Honey. They keep me young and they keep me old. So my partner will never be on here. Right. Please believe.

Good. So I'm gonna be on here for another 30 minutes, girl. We're gonna.

Kiki.

We're gonna talk about what we usually talk about. Dating, love, relationships, and men or women, honey, Because I get a lot of questions. Do you work with queer women, Lesbian women? Girl, I work with all women. Black, white, Puerto Rican, Haitian, trans sis. Anything in between? All of it, honey. Yeah. So definitely. Definitely. Let me see these questions in the comments. I want to say hi to everybody that gave me a big hello at the beginning. You know, when the Little one was here. She took up all the attention. So I didn't get a chance to say a quick, hey, hey, hey. But that's. That's the tea. Okay. Cap said, my potential is Italian and we're friends. He's always busy. Multiple businesses, suggestions.

Here's the thing. If he's serious about you, he's never too busy for you. I'm a very busy individual myself, and I run with a lot of very busy individuals. Busy people actually are the most. One can be one of the most communicative because they're always on their phone. So they can reach out, they can answer, they can message really quickly. So if he's not messaging you within three to five minutes, girl, I'm pretty sure he's not that busy. And you're not a priority. And that's no shade. That's just all tea. Lillian said, how old are the kids? I have twin 10 year olds. And then the 5 year old who's going on 85. Yeah. People are saying, who's that white baby? So you have to understand something. So my partner is white. I am cute, and we did surrogacy. So the twins are biologically mine, and then the youngest is biologically his, you know? So that's why I have a white daughter. Yeah. Trying to slowly gain a little bit of her white privilege. Honey, she gets away with murder. It's a little bit of her white privilege. But what are we gonna do? What are we gonna do?

Okay, Shania says if he takes you.

On dates once a month, is that a green flag? No, girl, it needs to happen once a week. If it's not happening, girl, why once a month? Girl, that's your period. Girl, that's not a date. That's not courting. That's a period. That's a cycle. We don't do cycles. Yeah, girl, that's. That's the moon.

Don't do that.

Okay, let me see what else is going on. What else? You're saying.

We'Re gonna kiki a little bit on here, have some fun. Kara said, you're my new uncle now. Girl, not uncle, girl. I'm too cute for that. I'm giving Fairy Godbrother. Yeah, that's what we're giving.

Tiffany said, your advice is insightful and spot on.

Thank you, girl.

I appreciate it. Okay, let me find my. Okay. Yeah. There I am. Victoria said, why is my man still in the closet, girl? Is. Was he in the military? The other thing about the military boys, it's kind of like prison. They will go Gay in the military, girl. Girl. And if he's in the Navy, girl. Gayer than me. Gayer than me, girl. They all getting it in, honey. I could have been in the military if I had five boyfriends. Five of them, honey. So you don't want to be with a military man. Girl. He's serving this country and serving these men up in here. Twinning said, how was the circusy journey?

Long?

Arduous, but obviously very rewarding.

She said, I'm a surrogate.

That's so amazing. Thank you, girl. Thank you for the work that you do. You are literally bringing miracles to people who otherwise would not be able to have children. And the gag is that more and more women are having more fertility issues. I think it's the food. I think it's the Plastics. But, like, people aren't, like, getting pregnant the way that they used to.

Cherish that. I literally take notes. Good girl. Well, class is in session, honey. Class is in session. But we're just going to Kiki tonight. I'm not here to try to, you know, do whatever. We're just gonna have a little bit of fun. Lazy girl. Gourmet. What do you think of keeping your significant other offline, off social media? My significant other can do whatever the hell he wants to do. That's his domain. I don't. I don't get to tell him what to do. We don't. We don't tell men what to do. We get to share with them how we experience their actions, behaviors, and communication. That's it. He gets to do whatever he wants to do. Yeah. So, La Nina, can you talk about love bombing and red flags? Love bombing is about the extreme. So I always say pet names. If that's happening early, that's a no. It's a. It's, you know, bombs. Love bombs over Baghdad, girl. If he is talking about trying to do something, like, long in the future. Love bomb over Baghdad, honey. If he's saying, like, it's December 9th, he says, I want to take you to Paris this summer. Boy, I just met you. Like, this is the second date. Don't do that. That's love bombing. If he's over complimenting you, oh, my God, you're the most beautiful woman in this world. Really? Everything that I touch turns to gold, really. You know how it is. And especially those Nigerian men, they will really put it on thick. So, like, part of their hoarded culture is love bombing. So that's why oftentimes you'll get sucked in with a Nigerian because you'll be like, oh, my God, he's so romantic. He's doing everything that I've ever dreamed of.

Flip of a switch, girl.

Love bombing, girl. Part of the culture. I mean, that's why they have all that oil in Nigeria. Honey. Feel the bombs. The love bomb. Squirrel.

Okay, maybe I need to minibosset. Where do I get vanilla, baby? Probably 31 flavors, girl. That's where I got mine.

EXO Cox said, you and Ms. Sprinkle are my world. I know that's right, girl. Poetry teacher. Thank you so much for the big love.

Let me see what else is going on. Taki said. Hi. From Germany. Hello. Liba V Gates dia.

Married to the mindset. How do you find being a father?

That and partnership have been my biggest growth, journeys and opportunities. It is karma. I see my mouth and I hear my mouth and I experience the mouth that I've given all these men and all these people in my life because I've given people the business my entire life. And, girl, guess what? I get it back threefold. Yeah. I think in the, you know, in the church they talk about tenfold grow. I'm getting my mouth back to me threefold every day. So it has helped me learn how to regulate my emotions, how to keep my center, keep my peace. But it's truly a blessing because I know that there are people out there that would love to be in my position, and I've learned so much about myself.

K Shari said. Question coach. When are we turning the apps back on? I've been incognito for a month, girl. Tomorrow, girl.

Eve it up, honey. Eve it up.

Wendy said, biracial twins. My. My twins are half black, half Indian. You know, it's a whole crazy story, but basically I found a surrogate in India when it was legal back then. Found a surrogate, had my babies with, flew across the world first to do the deposit, then to pick them up, bring them back to America, honey.

Karina said, boyfriend had a deep conversation with mom. Said he has to save for our future. Do you think that means a ring? It can mean a variety of different things, Girl, girl, girl. It could mean going to the olive garden for all I care. Think about it. Stay in the present moment. A lot of smart and successful women are so future focused that they, like, forget to just be in the present moment. How long have you been with your boyfriend? Karina.

T. Said, would you recommend dating men with children? Yeah. A lot of women don't want to do that because they don't want to feel like a second fiddle because They've done that their entire life right through the way that they.

You know, have grown up, unfortunately. So I get that. 5 Little bird says, what is your opinion of Chuck drivers as partners?

I think that they are great partners for the different women that they have in different cities that they stop off. Girl, not only are they dropping off their cargo, girl, they're dropping off other things. They're little creatures.

Yeah. I think that they are notorious for having multiple families. You want to be careful. I'm someone who needs a lot of attention and quality time, and truck drivers would never give that to me. So if you're someone that's like that, don't play that game, girl. If you want to do a pen pal, girl, you could literally like, you know, sponsor a child in Africa and pen pal with them. You don't need a truck driver for that.

Elitist. That ladies date with. Your intuition, it never lies.

Here's the gag.

And this is why I'm a dating coach for black and brown women. Most of us are emotionally stunted and detached from our feelings and therefore our intuition. And so my job is to help my clients really connect with their feelings and know. Because in a relationship, your job is just to know how you're feeling at all times and then communicate that with your partner. And he's supposed to make it all happen and make it all good. Yeah.

So that's the tea. That's the tea on that. Get into these old headboards at my mom's house, honey.

Live, honey. Straight wood, girl.

Good. John said, how should I politely suggest to a man, I'd rather talk on the phone than text? Here's what you do, girl. Here's a little cute, cute tea. So let's say he gives you that lame ass good morning text. Just be like, oh my God, I'm so busy right now. Call me, call me later tonight at seven.

That's it. And then he'll call you tonight at seven. Anytime he texts you, just be like, oh my God, I'm so busy. Just call me, call me at 7, okay? And go from there.

Sarah said, oh my gosh. I'm currently communicating with a retired army man. Well, if he's been out of the army for a while, it's like, you know, a guy out of prison for 10 years, 20 years, girl. He's probably gotten all that mess out of his system, lol. Say you need to do a whole session on military man girl. I've done many sessions with many military man girls, so I guess I can do one more for Y', all.

Tiff said, we had one date, and he complains because I have a busy schedule. He always tries to schedule dates last minute. Just let him know I'm gonna need two to three days in advance because my schedule is so busy. If that's something that doesn't feel good for you, I totally respect that and I want to wish you the best of luck.

The girls are saying the girls aren't dropping babies anymore because of all the stress in life. I know that's wrong. Sucks, girl.

Chrissy said, girl, we can't even afford to get pregnant. Girl, I know that's right and wrong at the same time.

Kiara said, exclusive with this guy, and he's not my type. He's a 7 physically but emotionally attend quote lottery. That's husband material right there, honey. Husband material. Here's the thing. You want a physical seven and emotional 10, because if you had 10 physical and seven emotional, girl, he's going to cheat on you, and he's going to think that he's better than you, and you won't feel. You won't ever feel safe with him because he doesn't care about your feelings. You've hit the jackpot.

This is.

This is the. This is the calculus that you want.

Shaz said, I need you to be my love guru. Not guru, girl. I'm just a regular degular girl, doing the best that I can for God in my country. Some of these people act like they're better than you. Honey. I'm literally. Girl, I've done much more mess than you have. I've been on these apps since I was 16 years old. I've been messy, traveling across the world for men, doing crazy, messy stuff with men. This is why I do what I do, and I, you know, I speak on what I know. So please don't call me your guru. I'm just a girl who's done it, seen it, coached it, researched it, studied it, certified in it, all of that.

Raven said, why is dating first responders dangerous? Because you think that they're responding to you first, but they respond to anything that's in front of them.

Here's the thing. When you're like a first responder or you're someone who is dealing with emergencies at all times, you shut off the emotional side of yourself, similar to doctors as well. So oftentimes they're actually not as emotionally available.

That's why. Yeah, girl, he might be able to, you know, do the Heimlich when you're choking, girl, but can he hold space for you and respect and, you know, while you're being vulnerable.

Maybe not.

Connor said, hey, Fran, Good to see your face. Good to see yours as well. Sarah said, you truly are my big clock app big cousin. I know that's right. But not, not too big, girl. She snatched in all the right places, if you know what I mean. Sarah said, do you help 19 year olds? Not personally, but through here, if you have questions. I mean, if I'm 19, I'm making sure that I don't flunk out of my first and second years of college.

Yeah.

Let me see what y' all are talking about.

Shiloh Said, Haitian men. Sexyy Red said, and Jamaican men. Yeah, that's. That's the culture. Nigerian men as well.

T said, only we Nigerian women know how to deal with Nigerian men. And how is that, girl? Because no shade, y' all haven't really mastered it either. You're a special breed.

Tia said, how are Jamaican men? Somebody let me know.

Huge.

But so huge that they'll break your heart.

Kara said, I'm told I intimidate men because I know what I want. Can't find suitors. Okay, so here's the thing. Your job is not to share with them what you want. Your job is to observe what they give. Yeah, I think that anytime you feel like you're in court and you're in front of a judge or feeling interrogated in front of a lawyer, it can always be intimidating. A lot of this work that I do with my very successful and smart clients is just learning how to balance the masculine and the feminine. Because here's the thing, girl, if you're giving a lot of masculine energy, and you might be, what will happen is that you will attract two kinds of guys. Because relationships are about compliments, not about clones. So you'll attract the guy that is in his dominant feminine or in his hyper or toxic masculine, who will try to make you get into your feminine. Yeah, this is why it's good to have a great, healthy mix of both.

Open Floor by Tima Said sir, why do you have to put Nigeria brothers straight out like that?

Girl, it's what I hear. It's what I experience. I'm just relaying information. It's like, that's what I'm doing, girl.

Angela Said, I'm starting to think I should try dating outside of my race. Trying? Girl, you should be dating everybody. Green Tea Goody said, are Jewish men good partners? Yes, they can be.

Right now.

It's been a bit dicey though, girl. No shade.

Lillian said, should our bio be detail or vague so they don't use that to manipulate you. I think that you should share interest and things like that. People can't manipulate you unless you allow them to. Right? And that means that your boundaries are not where they need to be. Just because someone knows that you like anime, they're not going to manipulate. They can't manipulate you into you falling in love with them. Brianna said, so I should let other folks have kids? I have a reckless mouth and I don't want to deal with it. Girl, that karma's coming for you either way, whether it's through the kids or through life. That's what I've learned, honey. But I'm right there with you. I'm just flippant for no reason. Not. Not one.

Deanna said, I have a two year old. I'm scaling my e. Com business. I'm an entrepreneur. Who should I be dating? Girl, you need to date. I did a recent video about compliments. Yeah, you need the. You need the Papa bear supportive partner, literally for your two year old. But also to help you as you grow this new business, which is a new baby as well. Lady J said, you did not lie about the apps in December. Girl, I don't lie at all. I give you all the tea straight, no chaser. A lot of these other girls give you this broad, lame advice girl, that you could literally just. They literally reading quotations off of Instagram and then, you know, thinking that it's their own ish. Girl, people think they're deep. No, girl, I tried. I really do give you a sliver of what I give my actual clients.

Shanice said, do you have any insight on how men feel about dreadlocks? I feel like I attract a specific aesthetic.

No shade. But who cares how men feel about it? I care about how you feel about it. I think that y' all can get a variety of different kinds of men through just your confidence. If someone likes you as a person, they're not gonna care too much about your hair being afroed, locked, braided, weaved, whatever it may be.

Nanny Said, why are men always vulnerable with me? Cause you've probably given therapist energy, counselor energy.

You.

You're that listening board.

You're not.

That means you're not fully in your femme energy. Girl, that's why you're giving too much. Chair Said, As a Jamaican, I don't date them and don't recommend them.

Little Ocean said, I'm Nigerian and it's true.

Mm.

The Kathleen said, I'm not dating Nigerian and I am Nigerian.

Okay, let me see what y' all are talking about.

OG on said I'm Nigerian. Run, girls. Jazz said I'm very tall, 6 8, and attract hyper masculine man. Any advice? Well, first of all, girl, what water were you drinking? Girl, I need a few inches my damn self. Love that you're six eight. Girls. Love that for you, Girl. Date them all, girl. Date them all. There's less than 1% of guys that are going to be your height or taller. So you. Girl, you might have to date a 59 guy, but he's got to be solid and stat. Girl football, five' eight, five' nine, not, you know, dorky nerd.

58.

Yeah, here's. Here's what I think, cuz. Y' all are about height. Y' all need to figure out, can he pick me up or not?

Like with ease. That is how you need to be evaluating this. Yeah. So.

Any advice? I tell this to my girls all the time because a lot of girls are so focused on height requirements. Date them all, girl. See who treats you the best.

It is going to be important for you to also give that femme energy, girl. Right.

A lot of men will automatically be intimidated by you and try to feminize you. But if you're already a Femme girl at 6, 8 girls, you're going to give model.

Yeah. There are not going to be a.

Lot of men that are going to be able to take that. But you want that because you want to be able to filter out the guys that are not about anything.

Lauren said, can you repeat what you said about Nigeria men? I went on a date with one last night. How did it go? Girl, did he give you the roses and tell you sweet nothings in both ears and talk about how you're gorgeous and the most beautiful woman alive and he can't imagine like that you've given him a chance that he feels so blessed to be with you?

All of that just a question.

Slicey Dicey said, do you have any tips on dating military men? Yeah, don't date them. Don't date them.

Some of the women here want to see you. I told them that you're not about that life.

If you ever watch or see some of the clips from Share 7, most of the time her man is not there. That's how it should be.

Argentina said, should I let a man fly me out to him? Not on the first meetup, girl.

Mia said, how do we feel about dating in the Netherlands? I love it, girl. Go to Rotterdam. Get you a husband. Portugal. Most of those guys are poor no shade, so they won't be able to actually take care of you, but they're good. Rendezvous. Yeah.

Your fave, Scorpio, is that. You didn't answer her question. Which. Which her are you talking about? I have 858 people all up in here.

I'm just.

I'm just looking at the question marks and going from there. K. Brad said, how do I let him know that I need things to be more serious the next time he reaches out?

Nope, that's not.

That's not your job. Your job is not to give him the step by step guide. Not in the courtship. If he. If this is early on, we observe, and if it doesn't feel good, we step away. Kimberly said, just want you to know that you're awesome. Thank you, girl. I appreciate that. When Tana said, how do you tell someone you're dating for a ring but without being so straightforward? Well, I think you. You open up the conversations. Like, here's the thing. If you are dating someone and you are in a committed relationship, this is the time. This is why I tell my relationship clients, this is the time to have some of those more serious conversations about what the next step is. Right? So let's say you have said I love you, Right?

The next step would be meeting the parents.

So this is the timing. Christmas, New Year's, where we talk about, okay, I would love to meet your parents if you haven't already and make that happen so that in Q1, you.

Can make it happen.

And then after that, we can start thinking about engagement and proposal. This is how I get my clients engaged or married within two years.

When do you start going to each other's homes? I would not go to a man's home before physical date 5, date 6. I wouldn't even be in the same car with him.

Lemon sparkles. I was typing something about dating after end of the year. It's horrible. I regretted even looking F girl, Black Friday after that, girl, black apps, not a Prada.

Chris said, what should I do if the dating apps have not been working for me at all? Take a break, girl. Take a break. Lillian said, he's so right. I saw girls getting stood up for dates on Christmas. Worst timing. Girl, who is dating on Christmas? That's messy. Don't do that, girl.

Be with your family.

Be with your friends. Get those presents, honey. Wait for Santa.

Jay said, what about Russian men? You got to be careful for them. They're quite dominant. Organic said, do you assist lesbians? Yes, honey, I do.

Sweet.

Leslie said, I'm going to Greece next year. Do they like black women? They find you beautiful like goddess. Many of them won't marry you though. But if you're looking for a story to tell after your travels, Greece is your place. I will say.

Daughter of the Moon said how to not be intimidated by 41 successful men in your 20s. Well, girl, don't date 41 year old men. They're grooming you.

They.

They're not going to marry you.

Trust that's not shade. They're grooming you and they're using.

So something to think about. Mandy Renee, when does the super bowl start? It starts like New Year's Eve, New Year's Day Today, tomorrow the 1st. You need to get on at one of those days.

Okay?

Lyle Nash says, where do you find. Oops. All right, y', all, I gotta go. I gotta have lunch with my mama.

Hey girl. Thank you so much for listening to the get yout Guy coaching podcast. If you like this episode and want to talk with me personally, please please book a free consultation at www.getyourguycoaching.com. apply or subscribe and leave me a review. Wherever you listen to your podcasts, talk soon.